Marionette
Sirius knows, of course he does.
You must not believe, or hope, or love.
You should not need or become attached to anybody.
Wanting makes you fool. It's only the weak ones who need.
You are strong only when you are all alone, all by yourself,
even though your own mind is your worst enemy.
Your own thoughts and dreams are the most dangerous of them all.
Everything and everyone must be beaten, including yourself.
Don't trust anybody.
Everybody lets you down, cheats on you and finally leaves you.
Everyone just waits an opportunity to stab you in the back.
And remember that you are most likely to betray yourself.
There are no friends, only people whose company is useful. Human beings are social animals, they form groups to maximise the chances of survival in the constant battle of existence. You need to earn your existence, in case you don't own good looks or social status. Life is not a gift given free of charge. It's a competition for power.
You use or are used.
If you are beautiful, all you need is one smile, and the victory is yours.
There is nothing your opponent can do.
He wants you already, wants to touch you, feel you, hurt you.
Beauty is a tricky thing, you know. Everybody hates you for it, but at the same time they would give anything to be like you. They want their share.
Everybody wants.
Tell people what they want to hear, Sirius. Say things they ask you to say, even though they never speak aloud. You have to read them, their gestures, expressions, looks. The most important things are never expressed straight.
You have no opinions of your own, no thoughts of yours, have you Sirius.
You only nod and agree if somebody asks you something.
The answers you give are the ones they want to hear.
You are a mirror, Sirius. You are a reflection of them. You are what they want and what they would want to be like. And you give it to them, give them whatever they want.
Do you know why, Sirius?
Because that's what you are. A reflection. Nothing else. There are no 'you', no Sirius.
You do what they want you to do, don't you Sirius.
You do, you say, you are what they want you to.
Whether they tell it to you or not.
Sirius smiles and nods. Yes Mother. Sirius does remember and he does know how to do it.
And Sirius knows and remembers even when James' lips tentatively touch his.
You give them whatever they want, don't you Sirius.
Sirius wraps his hands around James' neck and kisses him back.
Whatever they want from him.