Author's Note: I had always wondered how Allana was going to find out Jacen was her dad, or how she was going to be told and so on. This was my little take on the matter and just one of many ways she could've found out. Written: 05/10/2006.
Here All Along
Mama calls him the protector. He doesn't say a lot. He just stands there with us pretty much all the time. I think that would get kind of boring, but Mama says it's his job.
The nanny droid towered over the little girl, who was furiously scribbling away at a piece of flimsiplast, her tongue pressed to her upper lip, seemingly in a form of concentration. When she was satisfied with the outcome of the doodle, she gathered the piece in her arms and headed towards the exit of her quarters.
"And where do you think you're going, young lady?" The droid chirped, making its way over to her to try to cut her off.
"I'm gonna show Mama my picture."
"Your mommy is busy right now. She'll be back soon. You just stay here and draw her some more pictures, does that sound alright?"
There were a few blinks of her large brown eyes before she ducked under the droid's legs and scrambled out of the room, clambering down the corridor as fast as her body would let her. The picture was clutched in one hand as the other hand was clasped around the fabric of the annoying skirt she had to wear.
She could tell the nanny droid was behind her, she couldn't tell how far. But that didn't matter, as long as it didn't catch up. The girl closed herself off from the Force so the nanny droid couldn't find her -- she had remembered figuring out how to do that. She just could never remember the fact that not everyone had the Force -- especially droids.
A giggle escaped her lips at her clever little trick.
Arriving at her mother's chambers, she squeezed between the crack in the partially open doorway and bolted in, her head turning back and forth in search of the Queen Mother. She was about to call out when she heard talking from the refresher. Pausing for a moment, the girl listened.
"...beautiful."
Another murmur.
"...have no idea how much it hurts not... able to... and talk to her... tell her the truth."
Hugging the picture to her chest, the little girl crept to the entrance of the refresher and peeked her head in.
It was her mother and the bodyguard man. They seemed to be in a heated conversation, her mother leaning against the far wall, dressed in an airy blue casual gown. The man was pacing in erratic circles until her mother said something and he stopped, looking over to her.
What the little girl saw next almost made her scream out, but she stopped herself when she realized how much trouble she would get in if they knew she was there.
He just grabbed Mama and began kissing her!
She couldn't watch anything after that because the nanny droid had finally caught up and grabbing her arm, had begun pulling her out of the chambers. She wanted to say something to the droid, but was too focused on trying to weasel her way out of the nanny's grasp.
Out in the corridor, she dropped her picture to the carpet to free up her other hand for struggling -- and as they went, she could only repeat the same thing to the nanny droid.
"What about daddy?!"
Back in the refresher, the protector had the Queen Mother pressed up against the wood paneling, his hands running up her sides. She had whispered something to him when he pulled his lips away from hers, which caused him to inhale deeply and lessen the space between them even more. His lips landed under her left ear and moved to her neck, where they lingered, while her hand tensed against the back of his head, her fingers lost in his messy brown hair.
His hands had moved up now, one to a shoulder and the other behind her, the palm splayed out on the wall. He ripped his lips from her collarbone and let his fingers dance across her right shoulder, where the strap of her dress slipped. He inhaled again and stared as if he was memorizing every freckle and pore of her skin.
"I miss you so much," he finally whispered, his eyes trailing up to meet hers.
"You see me every day."
The breath returned in a sigh, the man's eyes drifting down to the neckline of her dress, where he watched the fabric shift as she breathed. "But not like this." As if to drive his statement home, he placed both of his hands on her hips, savoring the way she bristled to his touch.
These short and heated bursts of intimacy were growing more frequent as the days went on. They tried to stop them. They knew there was a certain degree of danger to have the Queen Mother and her Sentinel randomly unaccounted for while they were off together, on purpose or by accident, giving into each other.
"Go." She finally said, her breath still hot against his skin.
"One more."
Leaning up, she gave him a chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth before vanishing into the main chambers, the man quick on her heels.
"Whatever you say, Your Majesty." Slipping into the hallway, he figured he'd check on the --
What?
Crouching in the middle of the corridor, the man picked up a piece of flimsiplast, turning it over to see what was on the front.
There was a hastily scribbled ground, green with grass. On the left were a few shapes in the form of a person. It seemed to have something silver on its head. Under it was scrawled "Mama" -- the next was a lopsided little drawing, about half the size of the first one. Under that one it said "Allana" and the grass beside her was empty.
His brow furrowed as he stood. He was preparing to turn around and march back into the Queen Mother's chambers to hand it off to her. But he decided against that and instead pocketed it himself, traipsing off down the corridor.
That afternoon, the Queen Mother met her daughter and the nanny droid outside in the gardens.
"I drew you a picture, mama, but I lost it."
Reaching down, she took Allana's hand in her own, leading her out into the groves of roses near the reflecting pool. "You lost it? How did you manage that?"
"I was running away from Dede and I dropped it."
Tenel Ka couldn't stifle the grin that threatened to cross her face. Each and every day Allana reminded her more and more of her father.
Far behind them, she could hear a male voice and stopping, she turned.
"Thank you, Dede. I can take it from here."
The nanny droid left with a nod, as the Sentinel jogged up to the pair, falling into an informal bow. "Your Majesty. Princess."
The Queen Mother didn't seem to flinch one bit. "Glad you could join us, Jedi Solo."
"I'm not." Allana scowled and turned back towards the path, letting go of her mother's hand. She wandered off alone, rushing into the main grove that housed the reflecting pool.
The Queen Mother and the Sentinel exchanged a quick glance before following the girl, him staying three feet behind her all the way. He was their bodyguard, after all. They found her standing on the edge of the reflecting pool, peering into one of the trees that lined the water.
"What did you find?" The Queen Mother made her way over to Allana, Jedi Solo staying watch at the entrance of the grove.
"A ranjii nest." Allana was on her tiptoes, her head stuck in the branches of the large tree. "There's babies in here."
Shifting the fabric of her dress and holding it in her right hand, the Queen Mother stepped onto the ledge, her head vanishing in the branches overhead. The first thing she saw was the nest, three small ranjii, lounging in the branches, picking at their feathers. "We should not stay up here near the babies, Allana."
"Why not?"
"Because the parents might think we are a threat to their children."
"They're not around."
As if her words beckoned them, there was a flapping sound in the branches above their heads. They could hear two sets of wings and the ranjii's high pitched calls.
"Come on," she took Allana's hand and they both ducked out of the tree, stepping off the ledge of the reflecting pool. Allana instantly sat down on the ledge, arms crossed over her chest. "What?"
The little girl didn't answer.
Sitting down beside her daughter, Tenel Ka wrapped the girl up in her right arm, pulling her into her lap. "What is it?"
"The ranjii's have a family. Why can't we?"
Out of the corner of her eye, Tenel Ka could see the Sentinel tense up. She kept her gaze locked on her daughter, whose eyes had became the tiniest bit red at this point.
"We do have a family, Allana. It is just not one that can stick together like the ranjii can. There are threats to us that are not threats to the ranjii."
"Is that why Daddy is away?"
"Yes, he is keeping us safe."
"When do I get to see him?"
"I do not know..."
The Sentinel shifted uncomfortably, spinning around to face the Fountain Palace, his eyes scanning the garden ahead of him once before shutting. Mere seconds passed and he opened them to hear the little girl crying on the ledge behind him.
Jacen Solo had to blink back tears at the sound of his daughter weeping.
Jacen and Tenel Ka had agreed, when he arrived to be one of the Jedi Sentinels guarding the Royal Family, to not tell Allana that he was her father. The public still didn't know who her father was, or figured they just weren't privy to the information, so the publicity had quelled. But six-year-old's weren't known for their ability to keep secrets -- and this secret still wasn't one they wanted to risk getting out.
He wanted to be there for them, Allana especially, even if she had no idea who he was, even if he was just a silly Jedi following them around to her.
Jacen Solo couldn't keep it up though, and he figured Tenel Ka would be more than a little vexed if he flat out told Allana. There was no way she could get mad though if their daughter figured it out for herself.
He found Allana in her chambers and greeted Dede at the door, switching her off as he passed.
Tenel Ka had been summoned to a meeting with the Council and had dropped Allana off with Dede, leaving Jacen to his own devices. He shut the door behind him and turned back to the Princess.
"What do you want?" She peered up at him through a shaggy curtain of dark red hair, which she batted away from her face as she waited for an answer.
Jacen stepped forward, crouching in front of the miniature table she was seated at. He peered across to Allana, his mouth working around soundless words as he stared at her, not knowing how to start. She pushed her chair away from the other side of the table and threw a quick glance to Dede before repeating her question. "What do you want?!"
Reaching into his the back pocket of his jumpsuit, he pulled out the piece of flimsiplast she had drawn on earlier and set it on the table, sliding it out to the middle of the surface. "You dropped that earlier today. I found it and thought you might want it back."
"I don't want it."
"Why not?" He gently prodded her with the Force, which he had noted she had closed herself off from for most of the day.
"There's no Daddy." She was openly scowling at him, which tied an uneasy knot in the pit of his stomach.
He reached out again and pushed the drawing further across the table towards her. A small hand finally reached out to retrieve it and Jacen took the chance to grab it, causing the little girl to jump, her brow furrowing and her body instantly squirming to avoid him.
"Allana." She calmed only a bit after he said her name, and continuously grew more subdued as he cradled her presence with the Force. "Listen to me." Still holding her hand, he crawled around the table and sat beside her on the floor, where she drowsily fell into his lap, resting her back against his chest. Reaching around her, he slid the picture off of the table and held it in front of them, looking down at her as she spoke.
"There is a Daddy, he goes right here." He pointed to the empty spot on the flimsiplast. "And no matter where he is, he's always thinking about you. He's always right here." He patted her chest and resisted the urge to wrap her up in his arms and hug her. "So... I think you should draw him in."
Picking her up and setting her on her feet, Jacen stood and inhaled deeply, composing himself before starting towards the door. It was hard for him to walk away now, but he felt that if he didn't he would never leave her.
"Mister Jedi Solo?"
He spun back towards her, glowing inwardly at the excuse to be around his daughter for just a bit longer.
"He's always right here?" She patted the same spot on her chest, over her heart -- and at that moment Jacen felt her open back up to the Force.
He responded with a smile on his face. "Right here," he patted his own chest and watched her for a moment longer, her wide eyes locked on his tall frame. Jacen inhaled deeply and turned to leave, switching Dede on as he slipped out the door.
Later that night, Jacen wandered into the royal chambers. It was late and the moons hung high over the Fountain Palace, some light snaking into the quarters through the curtains. He had finished his rounds and set himself down in a chair at the vanity near the wall, his eyes locked on the bed.
Tenel Ka was on the far side, Jacen could see her curves silhouetted in the moonlight, the thin sheets clinging to her body. In front of her, closer to Jacen, was Allana, sprawled out in the middle of the bed with the sheets in a messy cocoon around her small frame. Her hair was spread out across the pillow, the deep red strands catching Jacen's gaze.
Leaning back, Jacen rested his elbow on the surface of the vanity, his eyes threatening to drift shut. The only thing that kept him awake was the stirring in the bed ahead of him, which made his eyes snap open.
Allana was moving, her pearl-colored nightgown twisting around her as she rolled over on her stomach and dug her hands under the pillow. Jacen had to fight the urge to get up and check on her -- he was afraid she might not have figured everything out. Something told him though, that she had. Maybe it was the way her presence beamed in the Force.
The debate in his head was put to rest when he realized she was actually awake and slipping down off the side of the bed where she planted her feet in the carpet. She had something in her right hand, clutched tightly as she wandered over to where Jacen sat, tilting from side-to-side with a waddle that only sleepy children could pull off.
He had to stifle a grin at the sight.
"Hi..." Her voice drifted off, as if she didn't know what to call him. Rubbing her eyes with her free hand, she handed him what was in her other.
He unfolded the flimsiplast and tilted it towards the moonlight, which spilled across one of the most beautiful pieces of art he had ever seen.
There was another group of shapes now, on the other side of Allana's self-portrait, a sloppy mess of brown scribbled on top of what he figured was the head. Under the picture, the word "Daddy" was scrawled in big letters.
Peering over the flimsiplast, Jacen saw his daughter -- a gorgeous little girl with a messy halo of deep copper hair and wide chocolate eyes. The smile that crossed her face at that point threatened to break his heart. He returned her grin and reveled in the way she giggled, which he quickly tried to stop.
"Shhh!" He put his finger to his lips, still locked in that Solo smirk, and pointed back behind Allana towards Tenel Ka. The girl's hands went to her mouth where she fought off her chuckles.
That was the point where Jacen set the flimsiplast on the vanity behind him and stood, scooping Allana up in his arms. "What do you say we go to bed, huh? You must be tired. You had a busy day."
"Yeah," she whispered, wrapping her tiny arms around his neck. "I saw you and Mommy kissing today."
"Oh?" Jacen felt a pang of guilt at her words, realizing how horrible that must've appeared to her. But the feeling quickly vanished with her next words.
"Yeah, it was gross."
With a quiet laugh, Jacen set Allana down in the bed beside Tenel Ka -- and then crawled in himself on the other side of her, nestling in under the covers. "Good night, Allana." He watched her toss around and get comfortable and felt his heart skip a few beats when she murmured to him.
"I love you, Daddy."
Jacen turned on his side and held his arms out a little, which she instantly crawled into. He tucked her head under his chin and whispered his response. "I love you too, Allana."
Glancing across to Tenel Ka, he caught her eyes wide open, staring at their daughter. He swore she had tears in her eyes, but the moonlight wasn't hitting her face enough to tell. When her gaze finally drifted to him, a tear traced its way across the bridge of her nose and over her cheekbone, finally landing on the pillow.
"I love you." He told her, his words almost silent.
Scooting closer to them, Tenel Ka snaked her right hand out from under the covers and stroked Jacen's hand, her fingers drifting into Allana's hair. "I love you too, Jacen."