Disclaimer: I don't own CSI….wouldn't dream of it.
A/N:
This is my first CSI fic…and it's going to be a short little one-shot…..feel free to make any comments about it. This is set immediately after Weeping Willows.
Illogically Inhuman
"I went out after work. Is it a crime to want some human contact?" Catherine asked incredulously at Grissom's behavior.
Grissom turned to face Catherine. "I guess that's why I don't go out."
Catherine watched him walk off, disbelief etched on her face.
-Weeping Willows, CSI
"Hey, you okay?" Sara asked, walking down the hall. She saw the look of Catherine's face and frowned.
"I think so." Catherine replied slowly.
Sara cocked her head slightly and a grin started to creep across her face.
"What?" Catherine asked, looking at Sara.
"Grissom," was all Sara said. Sara then walked away, leaving Catherine with her own thoughts.
Catherine paused for a moment, and then called after Sara.
"Wait! Sara!" Catherine ran up to get in step with her.
"Hm?" Sara asked, not looking up from a file of paperwork she was going through.
"How did you know my problem was with Grissom?" Catherine asked.
"The look on your face. Only Grissom is capable of leaving anyone feeling so frustrated that you're is too confused to show any expression except shock," Sara said nonchalantly, as if it was a well known fact.
The continued walking down the hallway until they reached the break room, friendly silence taking over as they sat down at the table.
"Want some coffee?" Sara asked, getting up.
"Not really. Is there anything here with alcohol?" Catherine asked, sarcasm lacing her voice.
"That's against rules. The closest thing we have that could intoxicate you would be caffeine. Here." Sara handed Catherine a soda.
Catherine inspected it. "Mountain Dew?" she asked, raising her eyebrow.
"It's the highest in sugar, caffeine, and, well, basically everything that's bad for you." Sara shrugged, pouring herself a cup of coffee. She took as sip and scrunched up her face in distaste.
"Is it that bad?" Catherine asked.
Swallowing, Sara shook her head. "I just don't like coffee."
"Then why do you drink it?" Catherine asked, opening her soda.
"I need caffeine. Soda's too sweet." Sara sat down in a seat opposite from Catherine. "Spill."
"Huh?" Catherine asked.
"Look, I know we are not the best of friends, you annoy me sometimes, as I'm sure I annoy you just as often. However, you need to spill." Sara said. "A word of advice: if Grissom ever ticks you off, talking about it, wait, excuse me, venting about it is the only cure. Trust me, I know." Sara took another sip of coffee, shuddering.
"So…who do you vent to?" Catherine asked, still undecided if she wanted to open up to the younger woman.
"Nick. Warrick. Sofia. Archie. If none of the above are available, I go to Greg, only as a last resort however. Normally, I would talk to my dog, but he's at my brother's." Sara shrugged as if it was nothing.
Catherine fell silent for a moment, and then asked, "Why don't you ever come to me?"
"Well, as I said before, I don't really get along with you too well. I mean, I just feel that I connect with guys easier. I only talk to Sofia because she is usually too busy to hear what I'm saying. So I have a pair of half-listening ears to rant to and a person that won't talk back." Sara explained.
"Ah…" Catherine trailed off, taking a sip of the disgustingly sweet soda.
After a few minutes of silence, Catherine finally decided she needed to vent.
"Does he always do that?"
"Do what?" Sara asked, flipping through her file again.
"Act like everyone should be just like him and study bugs and dead people?" Catherine asked, exasperated.
"I know. Seriously, he thinks he's perfect," Sara agreed, setting her file down.
"Just because he doesn't crave any human contact doesn't mean that other normal human beings don't! The nerve of him to feel this disappointed in me because of something I did while I was off duty!" Catherine huffed.
"He has a habit of doing that." Sara sipped her coffee again.
"What is his problem? I swear that man has so many mood swings in too short a time period! I would almost bet my life that he has PMS, except what takes a month takes him about a day instead." Catherine shook her head.
The last comment made Sara spurt out her coffee. She started to cough into her hand.
"Are you okay?" Catherine asked, looking concerned.
"Y-yeah…" Sara said in the midst of choking.
"Are you sure?" Catherine asked again.
Sara nodded violently, calming down after a few minutes. She took a deep breath and looked at Catherine, gesturing her to continue.
"I don't know what's his problem! Can he not relate to another being if it's alive? He is so…..so….illogical!" Catherine exploded.
Sara held up her hand. "Grissom is anything but illogical. He may be insufferable, incorrigible, inhuman, but he's not illogical," Sara protested. "Grissom gets confused when life isn't logical, which it isn't most of the time. "Don't get personally involved," Sara did her best Grissom imitation.
"Even those words you said don't completely encompass Grissom! He's just so….oh, I don't know." Catherine sighed.
After a few minutes, Sara looked up, catching Catherine's eye. They got an inspiration.
"I got it. He's insufferably," Sara began.
"Incorrigibly," Catherine continued slowly, starting to get where Sara was going.
"Illogically…" Sara began to wrap it up.
"Inhuman!" Catherine finished, clinking her soda against Sara's coffee mug in a toast.
"To us," Sara said, drinking.
"To us," Catherine agreed, downing a gulp of her soda.
"To humanity," Sara said after swallowing the bitter coffee.
"To humanity and emotions," Catherine added.
They both toasted again.
"And, last of all, to…" Sara began, pausing meaningfully and looking at Catherine.
"GRISSOM!" they both ended, finishing their drinks.
"Did someone call my name?" Grissom asked, poking his head in to see Sara and Catherine laughing merrily. He was surprised to discover that his presence only caused them to laugh harder, making both of them unable to answer. He shook his head and exited, muttering to himself.
The last words the two laughing women heard were,
"I don't get people."
A/N:
Yeah, this is kind of crappy, but it was an inspiration. I didn't really know how to end it at this last bit, but I thought it would be interesting to see what Catherine may have done if she and Sara both empathized with having to deal with Grissom. Don't take me wrong, the guy is awesome….he just needs to get in touch with his inner emotions. Either that or get drunk. Whichever way works for him. But….hope you like it and please review!
-FongSaiYuk319