He pulled over in front of Lisbon's apartment and quietly crept to her doorstep.

All the lights were out, and no sound came from the inside. So he picked the lock and swiftly sneaked in.

He didn't expect to find Teresa fast asleep on her couch. Then he reflected that the closing of the Red John case must have left her completely drained – both physically and emotionally.

As he kneeled beside her he just couldn't help brushing a loose strand of hair away from her brow. Next thing he was aware of were his own fingers running lightly all over her face.

He could still recall how touching her had felt – that time when he'd temporarily lost his sight due to an explosion. He'd been secretly afraid that he might not be able to look her in the eyes again back then.

And now he was going to leave her. There would be no going back this time.

He knew that she would eventually move on and forget about him. While he'd probably spend the rest of his days thinking about her – along with his long-lost wife and daughter.

It took him all his willpower to draw back his hand and take a step away from her recumbent form.

Coming here to see her one last time had been a terrible mistake. Now he simply couldn't bring himself to leave, no matter how many reasons he had to run as far from her as he could.

Angela and Charlotte were dead and gone, and nothing might ever bring them back to life.

While Teresa Lisbon was so very alive and kicking – even now as she was sleeping.

He ached to kiss her, and yet didn't dare to. He just stood there, rooted to the spot and completely unable to make up his mind.

Then she turned in her sleep and finally opened her eyes.

"What are you doing, Jane?"

He blinked repeatedly, but his mind didn't come up with a plausible excuse for once.

"I… have to go away, Teresa. For both of our sakes."

She raised an eyebrow and made room for him on the couch.

"Lie down and sleep. We'll talk about this tomorrow."

His body refused to listen to what his brain was practically screaming. He just closed his eyes and snuggled up against her warm body – breathing in her delicate scent.

As his mind drifted towards sleep he could almost swear he'd felt her soft lips gently caressing his cheek.