I am a wretched human being. For writing this.

Merry late xmas, OffCenterFold… and I really hope you like sad stories! I've had this idea for a while and I heard you liked Kana, so I thought it would suffice as a gift-fic. So you can either think of this present as two months late, or ten months early... but regardless, I present this to you!

Unstable

"Hey kiddo, where are you going?"

The young doctor-in-training huffed as he fumbled wildly with a faulty umbrella. Ayame almost expected a mouthful of obscenities to spew from his otherwise innocent lips. Instead, he settled with a harmless growl. "Ugh, I'm in a tremendous hurry," he said as he tossed the umbrella aside. "Dirk just came by and told me that Kana is in great need of my immediate assistance… he didn't say why."

He exhaled as he opened the clinic door, glaring at the heavy rain. "I'm going to just take a run for it. You don't have to wait up on me tonight, Dr. Ayame."

"Be careful not to catch a cold," Ayame answered with a frown. Before she could comment further, he had sprinted out. She had never seen Hiro run that fast—or even at all, maybe.

Hiro winced as the sharp rain stabbed him repeatedly, trying to ignore the way his shoes and socks were becoming more and more soaked by the thick puddles he trampled through. Luckily, Kana's house wasn't far from the clinic, and he just had an altogether uneasy feeling about the whole situation. Dirk's message was far too bleak and vague… and rushed. Perhaps for the moment he could ignore his own troubles; he feared for the worst, thoughts of an injured Kana plaguing his mind. He hoped it wasn't something so extreme, but as a doctor, he knew it was always best to be prepared. Perhaps it was just something simple, like... girl troubles. Although if that was the case, Hiro wondered why Kana would ask him of all people...

When he arrived at Kana's house he busted through the door, only to find it unoccupied. Hiro sighed darkly, pausing to catch his breath. If there was one thing he knew best about Kana, it was that if he wasn't at home, there was only one other place he could be. And that never changed.

"The stable," he murmured, and then he suddenly knew what this had to be about. He was afraid that he knew why his best friend needed him.

As much as he wanted to turn away, he instead rushed to the nearby animal stable. The doors were heavy and Hiro's slippery hands felt foreign to him as he pushed them open; he bit his lip anxiously. As a doctor, he had to be strong, and calm, and…

He ran to Kana when he wanted to just stand there and stare. He dropped his knees to the dirty stable floor when he wanted to just run away. He knew Kana would do the same for him, after all.

There were no encouraging words Hiro could think of as he watched Kana cry, his body thrown desperately over a fallen horse's body. "K-Kana," the words came out in a whisper, like a secret.

"Hiro, Hayate…she…" Kana sniffed against the horse's fur. His long hair laid wild against her coat, almost the same color as his own. "She's still breathing, you…you have to help her!"

Hiro frowned hesitantly, his chocolate eyes cast to the ground. "…Kana, are you certain?" He knew full well how death worked: patients would be gone, and loved ones were always in denial. He genuinely wanted to believe this situation was different as he pressed the ends of the cold stethoscope into his ears.

He gently pushed Kana aside as he listened for the horse's heartbeat. It was hard to hear over Kana's whimpering… but there was definitely a faint sign of hope.

Ba-bump… Ba-bump…

He looked to Kana sadly. "Kana, you're right… there is still a heartbeat."

Kana's swollen eyes beamed as he reached for the doctor's shoulders. "I… I knew it! Please, Hiro… you have to save her!"

Hiro looked away, not even trying to shake his shoulders from Kana's fervent grip. Hayate's limp body twitched occasionally as she slowly breathed. Hiro could see her eyes fading every second, fighting to stay open. She certainly didn't look like she was even alive at all anymore. She was clearly in pain.

Kana had reached for her again, embracing her lifeless body. His normally strong arms looked weak and vulnerable, almost deflated as he sat there.

Hiro searched the horse's face solemnly. He spoke slowly, enunciating each word as if he were talking to a child, "I'm sorry to be blunt, Kana… but… I do believe she is passing. I am not a veterinarian, you understand. But Hayate is a very old horse, and I believe that this is simply something that… cannot be reversed at this point."

"No..." Kana wailed, his face still buried in Hayate's fur. "There has to be something you can do!"

"Has she been sick lately at all…?"

"No… she was fine until just this afternoon…"

Hiro bowed his head. "If she hasn't been sick, I can't think of anything thing else this could be but a passing. Her heartbeat is barely there, and she is in pain… I can go get Dr. Ayame if you would like a second opinion. Otherwise… I… I suggest you say your goodbyes."

Kana grabbed Hiro's wrist as he attempted to stand.

"No… no, Hiro, please don't leave me."

"Are you… certain you don't want me to leave you and Hayate alone for a moment? I could go get something to help alleviate some of her pain…"

"Please stay with us."

Kana sounded defeated as he moved closer to Hayate's face. Hiro nodded as he moved aside, his head bowed in respect for his friend.

"Hiro's right, isn't he, Hayate?" Kana choked as he ran his hand shakily through her mane. "He always is. But I… I don't want you to leave me. I can't imagine a stable without you in it. You've been like family to me…more family than any human I've ever known. I don't want you to suffer anymore, but I… I don't want you to die! Not like this…"

Hiro heard a lifeless neigh as Kana's tears fell on the horse's face. He saw a front leg twitch, a struggle to move… perhaps if the horse wasn't so weak, there was no doubt in Hiro's mind she would be trying to stand. She wanted to be standing by Kana's side, that was for sure. But it was too late for that.

"I promise, that… I promise that there will never be another horse in the world that can ever replace you, Hayate. I hope you've had a happy life with me. I… I love you."

And with that, after a string of movements, a moment of silence, pitiful noises and more tears, Hiro and Kana both knew that she was gone.

Kana was completely silent, and that scared Hiro; the last thing he needed was for him to be in a state of shock. All he could hear was Kana's breathing as he continued petting the animal.

Hiro bent down, tentatively setting a hand on Kana's shoulder. He was a softie at heart, of course, and felt tears forming even in his own eyes. "I… I'm sorry for your loss, Kana," he whispered sadly. "Shall I go get Lillian for you…?"

Hiro then felt a pair of arms grab him into a hug; it was really more of tackle than an embrace. Kana whimpered helplessly into his chest, and Hiro couldn't help but cry with him. It wasn't every day that he saw someone like Kana cry. Sometimes Hiro had even worried that he was less of a man for crying sometimes, emotional with stress over his studies, or maybe a mistake or miscalculation he made... there was a part of him that felt relieved that even a strong guy like Kana was capable of letting out his emotions. There was certainly nothing wrong with crying when you felt sad, in Hiro's opinion. And Kana certainly wasn't holding anything back, completely unashamed of his feelings.

"I'm so sorry I couldn't save her," Hiro said.

"You… you said it yourself, there was nothing you could do…"

Hiro shook his head. "I know, but… perhaps if I had more experience, I could have done something—"

"Hiro, you've done plenty," Kana said with a sniff. "You're letting me cry all over you and hug you like a friggin' pillow… I've never met a doctor that would let me drown him with tears and wipe my snotty face all over him."

Hiro smiled sadly, self-consciously looking down at the tear-stains covering his white top. "N-no, that's not important… I still regret I've let you down, Kana. I'm a terrible doctor. I just sat here and did nothing, regardless of how I'm comforting you now!"

Kana let go of him as he took a quick glance over at Hayate. "I'm not sure if I'd want to go under your knife yet or anything, but… as a friend, I promise you you're the best."

Hiro wiped away another tear as he chuckled. "Kana, stop this, now I'm the one crying and you are the one who…"

"You're here for me, and that's all that matters," Kana stopped him with a sad smile. He wiped at his own tears. "I would seriously be even crazier right now if you weren't here. I know the hard part is over now. Things are going to be different without her, but..."

"I'll be here. And so will Lillian, and Dirk... everyone in Konohana cares for you, you know that."

Kana nodded. He looked liked he was swallowing razors as he forced another smile. "I'll get through it."

"Darn right you will," Hiro stated, as if it was an obvious fact. His usual serious features had returned. "But as a doctor in training, I am recommending that you get some rest for the time being. You're pale, and the stress you're under is nothing to take lightly."

"I can't. I... I have to bury her, Hiro. She deserves that."

Hiro nodded, sighing. "Of course, of course... and I plan to help you."

"Have you ever touched a shovel before?" Kana asked, raising an eyebrow at his friend.

Hiro blushed. "No... but..." He looked down at his spotless palms, pure and white as the driven snow. Aside from medical tools, he hadn't picked up farming equipment of any kind in his entire life. His flawless hands were proof of that: no callouses, blemishes, and barely even scars—Hiro was far too precise for that. He imagined Kana's hands were the exact opposite.

Kana gently pat his shoulder. "Look, I'd really like to do it myself. I know that sounds silly and selfish, but... I just want to do it. It'll take a pretty long time to dig a hole big enough, so... I better get started."

"Kana, that would take hours, no, maybe even days to finish!"

"Guess you won't see me for a couple days, then," Kana replied.

"And how are you going to move her?! And what about your other horses...?"

Kana shook his head, smiling. He looked like he was trying to convince himself more than Hiro. "Just stop worrying so much... I promise I'll find a way." He looked towards the stable doors. "I think the rain stopped. You should head back to the clinic, okay?"

Hiro frowned. Just moments ago Kana had begged him not to leave. This was probably just an effect of the process of grieving, but he didn't know how to handle it. Ayame would, no doubt, know exactly how to handle this situation, which proved he still had a lot to learn... especially when it came to people.

"All right, I'll let you have some time for yourself. But I'm going to Bluebell."

"Bluebell? What for...?"

"Flowers. For Hayate."

Kana nearly lost his composure once again as he wiped his eyes.

"You've really done a remarkable job, Kana... it's beautiful."

"That's all thanks to you. She loved flowers. She liked to trample through them, no matter how much I always tried to steer her away."

"So you're feeling better, then?"

"...a little, yeah."

"I can hardly comprehend how reckless you are. I'll let it slide this time, but don't think I won't lecture you the next time you hurt yourself like this."

Hiro shot a stern glance at him sideways, his naive, childlike eyes full of intense warning. Kana followed Hiro's eyes down to his own bandaged hands, wrapped meticulously and precisely like a Christmas present. He clenched one of his fists tight so that his worrisome friend hopefully wouldn't notice it had started to bleed again. The pain that shot through his arm was nothing compared to the pain he felt in his heart, looking at the fresh grave ahead of them.

"Thank you, Hiro."

"For what? Not properly lecturing you like I should have?"

Kana shook his head, amazed at how funny this kid could be without even trying. "For being such an amazing friend."