A/N: Hey look at that, guys! I'm still alive! You thought I was a goner, didn't ya? Nope, still floatin' round here... somewhere...
Anyway, here's a humorous, and also non-angsty h/c fic for ya. Can't say I'm very good at humor, though. Might have some OOC-ness for humor's sake, because Rule of Funny! ...and I just find it cute (and because man-childness is my fave). Oh also, The Avengers never happened, so Clint won't be murder-gazing at Loki all the time.
Rated T for: minor language, suggestive dialogue (because Tony's weird like that)
In the comic books (silver age Lee/Kirby) Loki has this hilarious weakness that I've been dying to use somewhere in my fics. Sadly, it always seemed too ridiculous to add to a more serious story so that's where this attempt to write humor came from.
Ordinary Lives Seem So Dull
The Avengers watched closely, keen eyes roving water, waiting for the trickster to show his head any moment. Tony flew over the bay, watching for signs of green and gold, but nothing happened. Whatever was happening, it couldn't be good.
"Any sign of him, Tony?" Steve's voice filtered through his helmet and Tony shook his head, even knowing he couldn't see the gesture.
"Not a peep, Cap. Nat? Clint?"
"Nothing here either, guys," answered Romanoff.
This was becoming...worrisome. Either Loki was playing a trick on them- wouldn't be surprising -and had somehow managed to escape without their noticing, or he was...drowning. Tony didn't want to admit it, but the latter was way worse; what would Thor do to them? But even so, how could it be possible? They'd seen Thor survive the vacuum of space, so how could his little brother drown so easily in nothing but water?
It didn't matter, they had to find him. Preferably sooner rather than later, in case...well in case a certain thunder god showed up and found the body of...
Nope. Tony took a nose dive and slammed into the water at full speed, suddenly finding a spike of panic running through him. It was ridiculous but he couldn't stop it. He'd find Loki, one way or the other.
"Tony! What the heck are you doing?" yelled Steve. The others raised similar objections but the billionaire ignored them. His suit was built for any number of hostile environments and this was not an exception.
The sun shone brightly above but the water was murky, prompting Tony to use his flight stabilizers to light long paths in every direction. It was risky, he knew, he might hit the trickster, but he also knew that Loki could survive a hit- he wasn't sure Loki could survive drowning. Lesser of two evils and all that.
After what seemed like an eternity, but was likely less than a minute, Tony spotted something- a shape, a shape of a man. He fired up his thrusters and headed toward him, the water barely holding him back. He reached the limp figure in short order, grabbing him about the waist and rocketing out of the water without hesitation.
"Rogers." Thor's voice rumbled over the comm. Oh great. Just what Tony needed, Mister Over-Protective himself stopping by. "Where is your team? I am here but I see none of you."
"Standby, Thor," answered Cap. Thank God for Steve. Still, couldn't he manage something better than 'standby'? Of course, guy was a terrible liar, maybe it was best.
But Thor continued, "Where is Loki? Did he attack? Is anyone hurt?" Questions, questions. 'Anyone'? Maybe someone.
Tony flew toward Captain America's position, not even bothering to look at Loki because he was already confused as it was. Fighting the mischief god was always so complicated. If Thor was there it was even worse. Not that Thor was opposed to hurting his arrogant, stuck-up ass of a brother, it was just that if the others hurt him- especially if not in self-defense -Thor all but threw a tantrum. An angry, thunder-fueled, often dangerous tantrum.
"I am on my way," rumbled Thor's voice. Tony hadn't heard anyone tell him their location but he hadn't been paying attention.
"Uh...no need, we've got it under wraps," tried Steve. A valiant effort...
"Then you have found my brother?" But not quite good enough.
Tony landed with a loud clang on the ground beside some warehouses then carefully- no need to anger a certain somebody further -set down the trickster on the ground. He didn't hear Rogers' response but a moment later the captain ran up to him, eyes intently on Loki.
"You okay, Tony?" he asked.
Tony's faceplate flipped open. "Guess we'll see." He flicked his eyes toward the city, then made a motion of a hand hanging up a phone, hoping Steve would understand to cut comms with Thor. The soldier nodded. "Thor still popping by?" Tony bent down and looked over Loki, although he wasn't certain what to do. Steve did the same as he lightly shook his head.
"Sorry. Couldn't stop him."
"And why the hell didn't our resident super-spies try what they do best? Huh, guys?"
"Sorry, fellas," Clint piped up. Steve nearly rolled his eyes. The two SHIELD agents knew full well what they were doing. They were probably laughing in their nice, comfortable quinjet right about now...
Loki jerked and coughed, sputtering as water spilled out of his mouth. As if on instinct, Steve rolled him to his side. Tony just jumped up and away. Damned if he was gonna be standing by a half-drowned Loki when big brother came knocking.
"Uhh," Tony began, "is he-"
"He's alive," responded Steve while he held to the trickster, keeping him steady.
Loki continued to cough up water- a lot of water; how could he still be alive?
"We're landing just north of you guys. You say Loki's alive?" asked Clint. The dark hull of the quinjet veered into view before disappearing to their right behind a low building.
"Yeah," said Steve, "at least for the moment."
"Thor's trying to contact you guys," Natasha stated blankly. "You guys cutting him out again? Don't think he'll be happy."
"Don't think he'll be happy anyway, Nat," Tony huffed. "Not gonna make much difference."
"That bad, huh?"
"Not sure yet," returned Tony.
Then suddenly, as if someone had lit a fire under him, Loki scrambled away like some nut on drugs running away from his worst nightmares. Well. Maybe Tony was flattering himself a little. Maybe the Hulk could incite fear like that in Loki, but the rest of them?
"Loki?" Steve stood up and looked at Tony, confused.
"Don't look at me." Tony shrugged as best he could in his suit.
Loki looked around wildly, eyes wide and fearful.
"This is so weird," Tony mumbled to Steve.
Carefully, Steve approached the god as Loki backed up further, his back hitting the wall of a warehouse. "Stay back!" he warned, but the tremble in his voice didn't exactly add to his protest.
"It's okay, Loki," Steve said, although his voice still had a hard edge to it. So at least Steve wasn't stupid, he knew as well as Tony that it was probably a trick. But still... What the hell kind of trick was it? Or maybe just a prank? That sort of thing wasn't beyond the mischief god, being, well, the mischief god. He'd once turned an entire street into ice-cream just for the hell of it. It was hilarious, Tony had to admit, but...sticky. Thor made him change it back.
"Just cut the crap," Tony blurted out as he took a few steps forward, just daring Loki to try something. To his surprise, Loki made a noise of distress and shrunk back even further.
"I said stay away..." the trickster mumbled lowly.
Frowning, Steve scratched his head awkwardly. He turned to Tony and all but mouthed, "What should we do?"
Natasha and Clint ran up then, gun and bow in hand, arrow already nocked and pointed at the god. Seeing them, Loki tensed up and widened his eyes further, but seemed to be looking around them as if expecting someone else to show up. Oh right. The Hulk.
And yet, the god's next words were: "Where is Thor?"
"Thor?" asked Steve.
"The hell's this?" Clint murmured. He didn't lower his weapon, although he seemed to be reconsidering his nocked arrow- if only a tiny bit.
"Where is Thor?!" Loki nearly shrieked, making their ears ring.
Tony grimaced. For all the god's posturing and nearly self-defeating vanity at times, he really did throw it all out the window when in distress- or if he was angry enough. Or insane. He tended to go insane quite a lot these days. Apparently it was an on and off thing. Tony never could figure out how that worked.
Loki bared his teeth at them but his darting eyes and tense figure gave away his anxiety, maybe even his outright fear. Confusing ass, thought Tony.
Finally getting tired of Loki's antics, Steve walked toward the god- if still cautiously, and holding up his shield. "Loki..."
Like an animal all but cornered, Loki scrambled away again, keeping his back to the wall as best he could. "Don't you dare come near me!" he screamed again. Steve raised his hands but didn't back away.
"Look, whatever's going on here, we're taking you with us. Natasha?" Steve glanced back a moment.
Romanoff walked forward with a pair of handcuffs- or, well, shackles, since they were sent straight from Asgard.
Loki hissed at them but didn't seem particularly worried about the restraints, he was likely used to them by now. The Avengers had caught him numerous times only for him to escape and return to Earth. It wasn't their fault, it was those damned Asgardians. They just couldn't seem to keep Loki once they had him. Tony had half a mind to go up there and teach those so-called gods how to build a proper prison.
Natasha held up the cuffs with a finger, tilting her head to the side. "Loki? We don't want any trouble. Be a good boy and nothing will happen."
The god sneered at her but said nothing, and- was he shaking now? When Tony lifted his hands in an 'I give up' gesture, Natasha turned to the billionaire with a wide smile as she dangled the shackles before him.
Tony lowered his head with a glare. "Seriously? Again? Why do I always have to do it? Last time he nearly yanked my arm off."
"You're the one with the super-powered suit, Tony. Just do it." She smiled again and patted him on his shoulder. Patronizingly. What lovely friends.
Cap got out of the way as Tony approached. He leaned over the god, half-crouching. "So here, Loki," he said in a sweet tone. "Just like Nat says: no trouble and-"
Loki kicked him square in the chest and Tony grunted, although he was barely thrown back by the half-assed attempt. "What the hell, man! What did I just say? What did I just say?" Tony let his faceplate shut with a clank as his HUD came to life.
The trickster's face morphed back to fearful again as he pathetically shuffled along the wall, trying to get away.
"Really? Really?" said Tony, annoyance rising because what the hell? He should be back with Pepper in his penthouse suite, not chasing trickster gods across NYC and saving them from their idiot selves. "I don't have time for this." Tony closed the distance between them and grabbed Loki around the arm, then forced the cuffs on him while he was still too afraid to do much; which was strange, but Tony wasn't complaining.
"At least allow me to dry myself," Loki mumbled while looking...pathetic. Even his voice was pathetic. His hair stuck out messily and he looked miserable.
"You want to dry yourself," Natasha repeated flatly.
Loki's bottom lip started quivering. His actual lip is...is it..? "This is seriously some messed up-" Tony sighed, lifting his faceplate again. "We don't have time for your annoying little pranks or tricks-"
Now Loki was crying. Actual, real and true tears.
"I'm all wet," Loki whined, his hands falling at his sides with an immature plop as the long chain jingled.
Steve's eyes widened in the most comical fashion, but then, so did everyone's.
"You what." Tony didn't know what else to say.
Barton walked to Steve with a slight grimace, then whispered, "Thor's here."
Loki continued to cry in a clear 'Woe is me!' fashion and pulled his legs to his chest. No, no, not good. Moving forward to help the god stand, or to help him to stop doing that, Tony found the ground shaking with Thor's all-too-obvious crash-landing somewhere behind them.
"Loki!" Thor bellowed as he approached. He walked around the other Avengers, Tony and the rest far too confused to do anything but stand and stare. "Loki..?
Tony lowered his faceplate- again -and took a few steps back. Who knew what the thunder god would do with this insane situation.
Again, Loki made a somewhat childish noise in his throat and whined, "I'm wet!" His teary eyes moved with Thor as the elder god lowered himself to one knee, hovering close. "I'm wet, Thor," he repeated.
"Oh, Loki..." Thor gathered the other easily into his arms, holding him tight. Even more surprisingly, Loki let him- even held him back. "Nothing will happen to you," assured Thor, stroking the other's wet hair into something less messy.
"You don't know that," responded Loki's uncharacteristically high voice as he laid his head against Thor. "Someone could," he hiccupped, "someone could-"
"No," interrupted an adamant Thor. "No, someone could not."
"But-"
"No 'buts', brother. Even without your magic most of these mortals are no match for you." Loki slumped a little, as if his brother's words were indeed soothing him. "You forget that you are not in Asgard. None of the mortals can harm you."
Loki arranged himself a little in Thor's arms, then glared at Tony and the Avengers. "What about your Hulk? Even you have difficulty with him."
Thor sighed. "The Hulk is not here. Bruce is visiting his lady friend; he cannot harm you either."
"Way to give that away, Thunder Blunder," mumbled Tony.
The gods ignored him. Loki sat up a little straighter but still eyed the rest of them warily.
"Thor," Steve took a step forward, "what is this about?"
Looking their way, Thor said, "Loki cannot use his powers if he is wet." His eyes grew hard suddenly and Tony was glad he wasn't standing close to the god. "Which one of you attacked my brother with water?" he demanded.
"Not it," Tony raised both arms, fighting very hard not to laugh outright at the ridiculousness of the question.
"We didn't attack him with water, Thor," Steve soothed, or at least tried. "Loki fell in the water when...Tony hit him with his repulsors," he mumbled the last part quickly.
"Hey!" Tony objected, half-grown smile falling. "What part of 'not it' didn't you get?"
Natasha smirked. "I don't think it works like that."
Thor fixed his glare on Tony. Oh shit. "Is this true, Tony?"
"Um...technically. But hey! I totally saved his ass, too, right?" Tony looked to Loki, who frowned. He wondered if he imagined a slight twinkle in his eye. "Right?" he insisted, looking to the others.
"It's true, Thor," Steve, thankfully, supplied.
Thor didn't look convinced. "So first you attempt to drown my brother, then you save him. Am I to take this as a good thing?"
"Oh come on," snorted Tony nervously, "he was...barely drowning. There was maybe a little bit of water in there..."
Thor turned immediately to Loki, pawing him worriedly again. "Loki? You nearly drowned?" he asked in a hushed but urgent tone, pulling him against his chest.
Tony was sure normal-Loki would have complained by now with all the hug-crushing, but he only held tighter to Thor and made a pathetic sound in his throat. "I'm wet, Thor," he said in a small voice in lieu of answering. As if they hadn't heard that a hundred times already.
"I know, brother-"
"I don't like being wet..." Obvious, Tony thought. "Are you going to dry me?"
Steve looked back at the two spies and said, awkwardly, "Uh, you guys have a...towel or...blanket in the quinjet? Something?"
Clint rolled his eyes as Natasha looked on with slight amusement. "No," Clint stated firmly, even though that wasn't actually true. Steve somehow didn't contest it.
When Tony turned back to the gods, he was surprised- something of an understatement -when Thor actually picked Loki up and carried him toward the quinjet.
"What the hell," Tony drawled, emphasizing every word. "Are you actually doing that? Am I hallucinating? Somebody pinch me- Ow!" Steve punched him without even hesitating. "I said pinch, you a-hole! Pinch! Not punch!"
Clint snorted. "'A-hole'?"
"Shut up!"
The two gods disappeared from view and the others were just now coming back to themselves enough to follow them. Tony followed as he rubbed his helmeted chin.
"Stop that," chuckled Steve.
"What, that hurt!"
"Yeah right."
.
To their less-than-what-should-be-normal surprise, Tony and the others arrived to the two sitting as Thor wiped down his brother with a large blanket used for victims of shock. Well, that might not be too far from the truth, thought Tony.
As per usual, Loki was complaining. "I'm still wet. My armor is wet. My hair is wet..."
As if in response Thor roughly grabbed Loki's head, bent it down at a severe angle, and began to dry it with the blanket, and none too gently.
"Brother!" Loki protested as he was released, coughing, like he'd just had his head dunked in water- ironically. His hair was even worse now, sticking up straight in some places.
"Sorry, brother," Thor hummed, sounding not very sorry. Was Thor actually...enjoying this? Tony shook his head. That was crazy; hadn't Thor just been angry at them- at him for nearly drowning his brother?
Unintentionally, of course.
Thor then manhandled Loki so his side was facing him, then began undoing his armor. Loki hissed at him. "What are you doing? Not here!" He glared at the Avengers with suspicion and something that was probably supposed to look like loathing. He looked more like a kitten who'd just been shoved into a dryer after accidentally falling into a toilet.
"Are you dry enough yet?" Thor asked. Clearly he already knew the answer.
Loki reluctantly answered through gritted teeth, "No..."
"And do you...wish to wait to be dry?" The trickster huffed and began pouting, and so obviously pouting that Tony was beginning to buy into Bruce's theory about Loki's 'true' age in regards to Earth terms.
He crossed his arms, then seemed to quickly grow agitated at his apparent wetness because he pulled his arms away as they went limp, falling to his sides. "No," he pouted, nearly in tears again.
God, will he never stop crying? Not that Loki never cried, even in front of them- he had a tendency to do so, but only when Thor was there and typically only when the two seemed to be having more issues than usual, which was saying a lot. He was also an angry-crier. Still, Loki was usually composed near them, haughty and condescending, and sometimes even damn near scary when he put his mind to it. Just...not lately. Lately it was ice-cream streets and a colorful Statue of Liberty that seemed to strike his fancy. Steve almost approved when Loki had used red, white, and blue on the Fourth of July. Granted, he sometimes did things to random citizens for kicks, but for some reason he always changed them back to normal. Tony never could figure out why, the god had no reason to. It wasn't as if Thor had been around to force him, they'd gotten a few reports after he'd fixed everything.
Tony's wandering thoughts jumped back when Loki hissed at Thor, the elder brother removing the younger's chest plate.
"Does that hurt?" Thor asked.
"No," Loki responded defiantly.
"Then why are you hissing at me?"
"I'm not hissing-"
"It sounded like hissing," Thor stated firmly as he maneuvered Loki to a different position.
"Ow!"
"Stop complaining."
"Then stop manhandling me, I can move myself..."
Thor stopped- and so did everyone else, seemingly -as he then stared at Loki with lifted, challenging eyebrows.
Loki lifted his own eyebrows. "Why did you stop?" he asked lightly, as if he didn't already know the answer, holding up his arm as if to help Thor along.
Tony couldn't help but snicker as next Thor growled, then grabbed Loki and bent him over, trying to work off his shirt. Then he wondered if Thor remembered that Loki was still wearing his shackles.
"Ah! Stop that!" Loki protested.
Thor stopped when the shirt was halfway over Loki's head. "I thought you wanted help."
"I do," Loki mumbled through his shirt, head covered, "but why must you be so mean about it."
"Mean?" Thor growled, suddenly serious. "You attack my friends and this city, and complain when I am trying to help you, and you call my efforts 'mean'?"
The trickster said nothing, still stuck under his shirt. It was an undignified position but Tony wondered if he didn't prefer it right now to avoid Thor's 'big brother look'.
"Actually," Steve murmured, "Loki...didn't really attack us."
"What?" Thor looked to him.
Barton yelled from the front, "He was just kind of being an ass." Steve rolled his eyes and Tony laughed.
"He didn't actually attack anybody," added Romanoff.
Thor frowned at Loki as the trickster pulled the shirt back over his head. "Loki, is this true?"
He shrugged and avoided Thor's gaze, apparently trying to look nonplussed as he shifted his weight. "So what if it is?" He sniffled and faced away from Thor, although he still frowned and looked miserably...wet. He really did remind Tony of a cat.
Thor smiled at his brother with sad, understanding eyes. "My dear brother." Loki frowned at him, bemused. "If you insist on continuing with this 'supervillain' business then you're going to have to try harder."
Loki looked even more miserable, and angry. But Tony interjected with: "Guy's right. You kind of suck at being evil."
"Why did you attack me, then?" Loki challenged.
"Because you were being an ass."
"Ha!" Clint laughed from the cockpit.
"It's also illegal to, uh..." said Steve, then he looked to Tony and leaned in. "Help me out here, Tony."
"What? To change a bunch of abandoned warehouses into an amusement park? Hell, that sounded awesome to me, I was talking about him messing with what's mine without asking first." And that half-formed amusement park looked dangerous. Fun, but dangerous.
"Wait," said Steve, "yours? What-"
"I own those warehouses," said Tony dryly.
Loki's eyes twinkled, a slow, devilish smile forming. "I know."
Tony rolled his eyes then walked over to Steve's bag, grabbed a water bottle, then threateningly waved it wildly in front of the trickster, saying in a mocking tone: "What's wrong? Scared of a little water?"
Loki's eyes went wide as he hid behind his brother, then bared his teeth and growled like an animal at the billionaire. Tony laughed loudly, Thor's face went to his palm, and Steve muttered, "I'm working with children..."
"Speak for yourself, Cap," Clint called. "This is one of the best things about being an Avenger."
"Oh, please," said Natasha. "You're a child, too."
"And proud of it."
As Stark waved the water bottle a few more times at the younger god, Thor's hand shot out and grabbed it, yanking it from his grasp. "Enough," he said, sounding bored.
"Hey!" Stark protested, then shrugged. "There's more where that came from."
"Don't even think about it, Tony," warned Steve.
"Thanks, mom."
With the threat gone, Loki moved out from behind Thor and grabbed the water bottle from his hands, opened it, then downed it in almost one gulp. Thor didn't seem surprised.
"What in the actual-?" Tony stared. "What, he can have water on the inside but not the outside?"
Thor shrugged and nodded as Loki callously threw the bottle to the floor.
"Hey, litter-bug!" yelled Tony. "Don't make me get out another water bottle!"
Loki scowled at him and leaned toward Thor, but smirked when Tony decided he'd had enough playing with the trickster and that he needed to sit down. He wasn't tired or anything, just...a bit annoyed. That was all.
He heard Thor murmuring to his brother as Romanoff and Barton circled the Tower for landing.
"You will have to remove your clothing if you wish to be dry, brother," Thor was saying, voice low but still carrying easily.
Loki's voice was smaller, but agitated. "I'm not undressing in front of these pathetic mortals."
Thor furrowed his brow a little. "You've never been shy before..."
"I'm not being shy," he responded, sniffing haughtily. "They simply don't deserve to see me unclothed."
"Ha!" Tony couldn't help but laugh. "Like we'd want to."
"I've seen you looking."
"Yeah, more like looking at your awesome and terrible skinniness. If godliness is synonymous with being a twig, I think I'll stay mortal, thank you."
"Oh please, you just don't want to admit to your friends that you're in that...what do you mortals call it? 'Closet'?"
Tony barked a laugh. "Yeah, right. I couldn't keep my secret identity a secret, you think I'd be able to hide in a closet?" Steve looked like he wasn't quite understanding this conversation. "And besides, I know man-pretty when I see it and you ain't it, pretty boy."
Loki frowned in obvious befuddlement. "You make no sense."
Tony leaned forward, arms wide. "I don't have to make sense, I'm Iron Man!"
Clint laughed. "See, this is what I'm talking about," he said to Natasha. "Never a dull day."
"You shut up," Tony interjected.
"What?! I'm defending you!"
"No you're not, you called me a man-child."
"Steve called you that, I was just...not disagreeing," smiled Clint.
"Whatever, you suck."
"No you suck."
"All of you, be quiet!" Steve yelled. Out of the corner of his eye Tony saw the thunder god chuckling. "Now are we there yet?!" finished the soldier.
"Now who's the child?" smirked Tony.
.
As they walked into the tower, the god of mischief began whining again when Thor refused to take off his restraints. Seriously, what did he expect?
"I'm already wet, brother," reasoned Loki, "these shackles are redundant. I can't use my magic anyway."
"And when you dry?" Thor countered.
Loki deflated as he said nothing, for once his silver-tongue unable to weasel his way out of the situation. Tony could swear he saw Loki working on his 'puppy-eyes' behind Thor's back which looked more like his 'wet-cat' face but maybe that was just his 'I'm a miserable puppy and wet cat' face; one never could tell with Loki.
"Where are you two going?" asked Tony to the brothers as they walked away.
"To my chambers," responded the elder god.
Tony smiled widely at Loki. "Goin' to get naked with your brother?" he teased.
Loki broke free from Thor and lunged at the billionaire, trying to strangle him, although Thor caught him in time. "I'll rip out your tongue, you simpering-!"
"Yeah, yeah," Tony stayed just out of reach as Thor held his brother back. "Like you could." God, did I hit a nerve? wondered Tony.
Again, Loki tried to reach him but couldn't get free of his brother. His glare was almost enough to make Tony step back, though.
"Enough, brother!" Thor bellowed, then turned to Tony, saying, "And I would not antagonize him if I were you."
"What," Tony cocked his head to the side, "he gonna do something with all his awesome not-quite-working-right-now powers?"
"No, I will," Thor stated, eyes suddenly hard.
Oh. Well. Tony put up both hands as if in surrender. "Alright, whatever. Go have some nice brotherly bonding moments in your chambers," he dismissed them, making his way to his bar. He noticed Loki trying one last time to get at Tony but Thor pushed him toward the elevators. He really didn't care what the hell they were doing, he was just having some fun. Loki of all people shouldn't take him so seriously- he usually never did. He was also usually better at verbally sparring with Tony; what was so different this time?
Steve walked toward him. "You really shouldn't, you know."
"Shouldn't what?" Tony asked flippantly, trying not to break something with his fingers still encased in his armor.
The soldier didn't answer as the corner of his mouth twitched up and he shook his head, following the gods' path toward the elevator.
... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...
Loki sat still as Thor dried him. With the mortals finally out of their presence he didn't mind the elder doting over him. It wasn't that he couldn't dry himself, he simply didn't want to. It had become a ritual over the centuries and neither god was able to let go of it.
He still wasn't sure why...
The towel- clearly Thor's towel given its size -wrapped easily around him as Thor tried to wipe him down without yet removing all his clothing. Still, he was drying, if slowly. Why wouldn't he remove the shackles?
"Loki," Thor stopped and looked to him, serious. "I will have to keep one part of you wet while I remove your restraints."
Loki's eyes widened. "What? Why? I'm already wet, why not remove them now and be done with it?"
Thor shook his head. "I am sorry, brother, but you are drying quickly and I cannot risk your escape."
Oh. Loki forced himself to roll his eyes. He didn't care; he was already wet. It didn't matter. "Fine. It's not as if I could stop you," he mumbled, looking away.
Nodding, Thor walked into the bathroom then returned with a bowl of water. Loki eyed it warily. It wasn't as if he couldn't be around water- no, of course not -but even touching water made it impossible for him to use his powers; he needn't be soaked. He swallowed nervously as Thor set it down on the nightstand nearby.
"Are you ready, brother?" asked Thor in a low voice.
"I'm not a child," was all Loki could think to say. He swallowed again, unable to stop staring at the bowl. So benign it seemed, yet still, to him, it was anything but. He tried to tell himself it wouldn't matter, he was already wet, and even were he not, Thor was here and he would never harm him- even if he deserved it. Thor had ever thought it dishonorable to fight Loki were he wet, and it made the trickster even more annoyed somehow, when even now as he was a so-called supervillain, Thor still refused to use that particular weakness against him.
Nodding, Thor bent down to one knee and removed Loki's left boot, then carefully, as if Loki might suddenly panic if he didn't, he slowly lowered the bowl and put Loki's now bare foot into it.
The two stared at it for a while, as if something would happen. Loki cleared his throat. "Are you trying to say something about my feet, brother?"
Thor chuckled, standing. "Well...I was not intending to say anything..."
Loki felt his lips tug upward, but managed a small frown instead as he lifted his shackled wrists. Thor nodded and unshackled him, then set the metal on the floor.
The elder helped him out of his wet clothing while making certain Loki kept his foot in the bowl of water. He had a mind to tip the bowl over and act innocent on the matter, but knew Thor knew him too well to believe him. And still, it was pointless, he wouldn't be able to dry himself quickly enough to escape.
With the damp leather finally off, Loki hated to admit that he felt better. The large towel wrapped completely around him now and he didn't refuse its comfort, although Thor, wisely, did not wrap his arms around him. Loki was in no mood for his coddling, even if, deep down, he might have wanted it. So many unpleasant memories jumped to the forefront of his mind when his powers were taken, and most of them were only soothed at the thought that Thor had always been there to make it a little better...even if not right away.
"Can I take my foot out of this water now, Thor?" Loki mumbled, not looking up.
Thor picked up the shackles and held them up. Loki sighed and slumped, holding out his wrists.
"Oh wait," Loki pulled back before Thor could clap the first cuff on him. "Aren't you going to find me clothing first?"
Chuckling, Thor set the shackles on the bed. "Of course, my apologies." He took the towel from Loki- making him feel somewhat vulnerable -then rummaged through one of the closets across the room.
Loki wrapped his arms around himself, staring at the pool of water as it rippled with his movement. He wondered why Thor had decided to take the towel first, but then, the thunderer rarely thought things through. Suddenly feeling less cooperative, Loki's big toe tipped over the bowl, the water spilling out.
Thor whipped his head around as Loki mumbled, "Oops."
"Loki," Thor warned as he walked to him, nostrils flared.
Loki pursed his lips innocently as he looked to his big brother. "My deepest apologies, I'm afraid I'm unaccustomed to the properties of water and its quite mysterious behavior..."
Thor growled under his breath as he dropped the same towel on the floor, although he warned: "Attempt to dry your foot and I will not be pleased."
The trickster smiled pleasantly. "But, brother, you're already not pleased."
"Less pleased, then. Do not try my patience."
The towel didn't do its job very well given that it was already so wet. As Thor grabbed the bowl and threw it aside Loki lifted his foot in a pointed manner and scrunched his toes, hiding his smirk whenever Thor looked at him. But when Thor walked forward and without care grabbed Loki and forced one of his Midgardian 't-shirts' over his head, Loki's smirk fell, replaced by indignation. "Thor-! No need to be so rough." But the elder didn't seem to hear him as he uncaringly pulled the shirt down. Loki looked down at it and scowled with distaste. "This is your color." Loki had never liked wearing red; it just didn't look right on him.
"You'll wear what I give you," stated Thor as he grabbed the shackles and ordered Loki to stay still. Discerning that it would be unwise to test his brother's mood now, Loki obeyed as the metal was again clasped around his wrists.
His foot was quickly drying- especially with the mortal 'air conditioner' going -but not enough. There was no hope of escaping now...yet.
Before Loki could say anything, or try a clever quip that he'd thought up, Thor forced Loki's right leg into some common 'blue jeans', which the thunderer knows he hates. "Ow, brother!" Loki protested as he tried to look less undignified sprawled across the bed. "That is my leg not some piece of timber to be snapped in half for firewood!" Thor ignored him as he forced in the other leg. "I can dress myself!" he tried next, but Thor was having none of it. Looking at the elder, Loki saw more than just irritation there. "It was just a bowl of water..." he muttered under his breath.
Thor suddenly leaned over him, arms flanking his sides on the bed. "No, Loki, it was not just a bowl of water. You cause mischief and disrupt this city's day-to-day functions and yet you still expect me to look after you, to turn the other way when you sometimes take it too far. Then you have the audacity to look baffled when I become angry. No, Loki, it is far more than just a bowl of water." Thor's eyes bored into his, his breath going in and out harshly through his nose.
Loki blinked several times, staring back. He frowned slightly, flicked his eyes away for a moment, then returned them to Thor's blue. "So...you will still be angry if I cleaned up the water..?"
Thor made a frustrated sound in his throat and pushed away, shaking his head, although there was some amusement there, however small.
A small smile formed on Loki's lips. "I'm sorry, Thor," he nearly chuckled, "but I don't know what you're so angry about. I've never asked you to 'look after me', as you put it."
"No?" Thor challenged, facing him again. Fortunately, he stayed away. "Then you would prefer I leave you wet and helpless, or allow SHIELD to keep you when they manage to capture you? Should I be unconcerned when Doctor Doom attempts vengeance upon you for betraying him- multiple times, I might add."
Loki sat up and shrugged, but did not stand. "It's not my concern that Victor has faulty memory. That halfwit can't seem to retain the thought that I'm untrustworthy."
Thor groaned and laughed through his nose, covering his eyes with a hand. "Why must you be so difficult?"
A long silence past as Loki pursed his lips. Then, he said, "Admit it, brother, you like me this way."
"No," Thor countered, deflating somewhat and chuckling. "But it is you." Then he smiled fondly. "And I will look after you." He took the one step necessary for him to reach Loki and pulled the younger's face against him. Loki might've protested if he thought it would do any good. Instead, he managed a meager struggle for a moment, at least enough to arrange it so his face wasn't crushed against his brother's stomach.
"Oaf," Loki mumbled against him.
"Brat," Thor responded.
A/N: My boyfriend found the use of "a-hole" in Guardians of the Galaxy absolutely hilarious, so I wanted to use it somewhere in my fics. XD
Anyway, this is designed to sort of be a one-shot, but I have more planned for this story so I'm likely to add more to it. Also, sorry about no Bruce, but it just went that way. He might be in a future chapter if I add more, though.
That thing you can ignore if you want (I do this a lot): Obviously, this is a much lighter version of comics!Loki mixed with MCU!Loki, the former of which, at the beginning, seemed much more concerned with general mischief (non-permanent mischief, even) and defeating Thor (not killing him), and had little-to-no interest in taking over Asgard. He became darker as the comics progressed, but I really loved the early version of him and his complete lack of extreme villainy. Also, the thing about him turning streets into ice-cream and reversing some mischief he'd caused with no prompting from anyone is true to the comics. Actual quote, word for word: "Listen to the fools panic! I'll wait another few minutes before I return them to normal!" Yep. He also disables a Soviet atomic bomb for literally no reason. Great villainy there, Loki.