It wasn't the first time

a sorta-depressing one-shot by LadyMac

Rating: M for mature audiences only. Sexual content.

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek, and I make no money by writing about it.

It wasn't the first time they were relieved to have made it back unscathed from an away mission, and it wouldn't be the last. It also wasn't the first time that their relief had turned quickly to fevered touches, and they stumbled to Nyota's quarters, which were closer to the transporter room by approximately 25.8 seconds.

This time, it was Nyota who appeared on the transporter pad, and Spock who was there to meet the returning team, though he was officially off-duty. He knew there had been tension planetside, that warring states on this world were in a tense standoff with barbaric nuclear weapons -- a "cold war," Jim had called it. Spock also knew that Nyota was needed on the ground to facilitate communication between the Captain and the two Ministers, and that things had gotten, in human terms, "a bit hairy down there."

It wasn't the first time that Spock had been surprised by the relief he felt when she appeared, unharmed but for fatigue from long hours of work. He needed to touch her, to reassure himself that she was well. She took his offered hand as she stepped off the pad.

"Let's take about ten hours," Kirk said, rubbing his neck and glancing around at the bedraggled party. "Debriefing at 0900 tomorrow in the main conference room. Spock, you come too."

"Of course, Captain," he replied, but his mind was on Nyota, caressing her fingertips and fighting back the primal urges that she inevitably aroused in him whenever she came back.

She was exhausted, of course, but felt the same thing. Back on her Enterprise, back with her Spock, her body craved his touch. Hands clasped, they proceeded more than briskly to her quarters. Once inside, lips met and clothing was discarded without thought. It was almost a routine, she mused as his mouth trailed down her neck to one soft breast. Teeth on her nipple dragged a gasp from her throat and drove all coherent thought away.

She pulled him onto the bed, legs open, and guided his penetration with one hand before gripping him to her and meeting him thrust for thrust. Their legs tangled; she tried to free hers from an awkward position. Above her, Spock moaned, and his hands clutched her shoulders.

Nyota's brow furrowed a little -- the angle was off, he wasn't hitting her where he normally did. She felt raw, and the delicate skin pinched a bit between them. Still she encouraged him on, begging him to fuck her senseless, and hoping that the off feeling would go away.

They weren't telepathically linked when he came, but she knew when his body became rigid and his thrusts erratic as he pounded her, and finally he stilled. A puff of breath escaped his lips and his eyelashes lifted off his cheeks. When he spoke, his voice was breathy. "Nyota."

She met his eyes with a level gaze. "Spock."

Obvious guilt crossed his features. "I apologize, I did not..."

"No, it's okay." She grabbed a tissue to clean up as he pulled out. "It can't always be good."

"I could perform oral sex, if--"

"Really, it's okay. I'm not feeling it now anyways."

He sat back on his heels and watched as she finished cleaning herself up, then headed to the bathroom. While she was gone, he picked up their clothes and folded them neatly on a chair, then folded back the bedclothes and slipped in.

Nyota reappeared a minute later and slid in beside him.

"I am sorry that I disappointed you tonight, ashayam." He touched his fingertips to hers, sending her his apology telepathically as well as verbally. In return, he felt resignation and exhaustion, and a bit of annoyance.

"No big. Good night, Spock. Computer, lights off."

She rolled onto her side, away from him. In the darkness, she felt him watching her for a moment longer before he too rolled over and went to sleep.