Night Terrors
Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight then I wouldn't be on this site writing free stuff for all of
you now would I?
Authors Note: I know I should be slaving away on my other stories but one of them is
sick with writers block and so I can't touch it, and the other has a bit too many possibilities so I can't right now. I promise to update both as soon as possible though.
P.S. - POV changes a lot in this chapter, because there are large time lapses, it's the only
way I can make this work without boring you.
3S.S. - I was reading someone else's story and was inspired to write this.
Chaos-Panic-&-Disorder- I think she's mad at me.
3S.S. - OF COURSE I AM, YOU TIED ME TO A CHAIR!!
Chaos-Panic-&-Disorder- /giggles nervously/ sorry…?
3S.S. - /sighs/ anyway on with the story….
Memories of Abandonment and Pain
"I don't want you anymore Bella…" Those were the last words I had ever heard him say through his perfect marble lips. He didn't want me, it made sense I had always known he was to perfect for me. I would never be good enough for him, it never made any sense that this god-like creature would want to spend even a second's worth of time with plain, clumsy me. He should be off wooing super models and actresses. I sat and remembered what it felt like to be in his arms, the way he smelled, the way he whispered my name. It was all too good to be true, I should have known it was all a dream, never anything more. I went to our meadow, well his meadow that he decided to show to me; it was still as beautiful as ever but it was lacking the one thing that made me love it, Edward. I wrapped my arms around my chest trying to hold myself together as I felt my heart being ripped apart at the remembrance of his name. I couldn't stand this anymore, Jacob my sole comfort since my angel left me was now refusing to talk to me and…he didn't love me anymore, never had actually. I saw a rock that had split in half the edge was razor sharp and it lay in reach of my out stretched hand glinting in a welcoming way. I thought of the relief that this small rock could grant me, the end to the pain. I briefly thought of Charlie, and how he would feel about all this; but I couldn't and wouldn't pass up this opportunity. I had been causing Charlie pain with my depressed numbness anyway so if anything he would probably feel relief at my death, and if he didn't well Charlie was more used to living alone anyway, he would survive without me. Resolute in my decision I picked up the rock holding it hard enough to make my hand bleed. Somewhere close by a wolf howled as if in pain, I began to turn my head in the direction of the creature but then turned back, nothing could stop me now. I slammed the point of the rock into the crook of my elbow, I cried out in pain as the sharp rock dug into my flesh and somewhere close by the wolf whined with me, but I was determined and I dragged my makeshift razor down my arm, following the line of my vein to my wrist. I repeated the action on my other arm and watched in disgusted fascination as blood poured from my self inflicted wounds. I cried softly in both emotional and physical pain and closer now the wolf whined and howled with me. I turned my head, but it was not towards the crying wolf that I turned instead I looked towards the face of the blood lust filled eyes of Laurent. He glanced around nervously and then ran at me at vampire speeds knocking me to the ground, I cried out in shock the wolf began to growl and snarl viciously. Laurent put his mouth to my wrist frenziedly sucking the blood from my wounds. I cried out in agony as I felt the venom from the back of Laurent's throat mingle with my blood and begin to shoot up into my veins. The wolf's cries became more frantic and soon there were more wolf-cries all of them much closer than the first had been before. Just then I heard a crashing sound and a gray, reddish brown and black wolf burst into the clearing followed shortly after by several other wolves that I couldn't see clearly. Laurent gave a strangled growl and leapt away from his easy meal racing off into the trees, all of the wolves followed him growling, snarling, and howling as they went. I threw back my head and screamed in agony, waiting for the hungry wolves to come back and finish me off before my change could be completed. I screamed and wailed calling out the names of the two men I had loved the most, Edward and Jacob. Even now his name was still agony to say even to myself. I continued to scream and writhe as the fire spread through my veins and my flesh became colder and colder. It was about fifteen minutes later and my screaming brought one of the wolves back to the meadow, it was the reddish brown one I had first seen leap into the clearing. It crawled over to me tail between its legs and head ducked it whimpered and gently nudged my arm that was closest to it. I screamed louder the movement increasing my pain, the wolf whined helplessly and began to quiver then suddenly it was Jake, naked as the day he was born, lying on his stomach with his hand stretched out towards me. Jacob was shaking hysterically with the violent sobs that were wracking his body. He slowly reached out and grabbed my hand rubbing his thumb in slow soothing circles on the back of my hand.
"Oh God, Bella why?! Why would you do this to yourself? Oh God, it's all my fault I couldn't save you; I smelled the vampire, he was attracted to the smell of fresh blood, but the rest of the pack wasn't close enough for us to get him in time! Oh! Why Bella why? Why did you want to kill yourself, he wasn'tworthitBellaIloveyouhedidn'tdeserveyouheneverdidOhGodBellaIloveyou! Iloveyousomuch!!" He cried he was insane with grief it was impossible to understand the last few things he said they were said so quickly said and jumbled together. He cried over my hand lightly kissing my palm whenever my screams would become more intense. He stayed with me all three days of the change and didn't leave me until it was time for him to take me somewhere to feed. He took me to a grove filled with a herd of deer and I drained them all of blood. But I was a newborn and while Jake couldn't allow me to drain any humans I couldn't resist the smell of them and Jake chased me far from the Quillette lands. He told Charlie I killed myself by throwing myself in the ocean, he had seen me do it, but he couldn't reach me in time to stop me and no one ever found my body. I may have been a newborn but I had only one goal in my mind, to go to Italy and join the Volturri as a guard. I had no memory of my human life at all, my first memory was of Jake holding my hand, but I had heard another vampire speak of the Volturri in Italy with an awe filled voice and I wanted to serve them. I didn't know what I could tell them to make them accept me, I mean after all I was a newborn who couldn't even remember her own name…
(Brief Authors Note: Alice would not have seen Bella try to kill herself because Jacob was very close to her. I just figured I would clarify that before I receive torrents of why didn't Edward try to kill himself when Alice saw Bella die, well it's because they had no clue. Also I will include what happened to Bella in the twenty five year time span, but it will be her telling it not part of the story line)
Twenty-five Years Later
Edwards POV
"YOU MADE US ALL ABANDON HER! LEAVING WITHOUT EVEN BEING ABLE TO SAY GOODBYE AND NOW YOU WANT TO JUST RANDOMLY GO BACK?! WHAT ARE YOU EXPECTING TO DO EDWARD HUH? HUH?! RUN BACK TO HER AND HAVE HER BE WAITING FOR YOU WITH OPEN ARMS?! YOU LEFT HER EDWARD AND YOU MADE US ALL ABANDON HER TO! WE LOVE BELLA …."
"SHUT UP ALICE, I AM NOT GOING BACK TO CHANGE HER OR EVEN TALK TO HER. I JUST WANT TO CHECK UP ON HER, FROM A DISTANCE…make sure she's alright." I muttered defeated, Alice was right after what I did I had no right to go back to Fork's and try and see Bella. I had negated that right the second I left her and claimed I didn't love her. But still I hadn't seen her in 25 years and it would be easy to find her and watch her sleep, if she was still in Forks, and that would silence all my worries about her, just to see her sleeping softly and soundly one last time. My whole family thought I was a fool for leaving Bella alone just because of one little incident, Alice was a bit more extreme with this; she just flat out hated me. Ever since we had been forced to leave Jasper had blamed himself for my unhappiness and had been inconsolable for the first two years, now he was merely always slightly sad. Not only did Jasper's sadness make Alice sad but I had not been the only one in my family to love Bella and Alice missed her best friend and blamed me both for her husband's depression and the loss of her best friend. I had really screwed up, but we had moved into Seattle and we were close enough to Forks that I could drive down there and see Bella just one more time. It was something I couldn't make myself not do, no matter what Alice said.
Later that night while my family was out doing their own thing, I got into my silver Volvo and drove down to Forks. I silently broke into Charlie's house and looked for where he kept any information about where Bella lived now. Finding nothing I went upstairs and watched Charlie sleep, the man was old, very old; his breathing was labored and his entire body consistently shook from the light breeze blowing through the open window. I looked fondly upon the old man who was once going to be my father in law. I gently pulled the blanket up to cover him better and softly shut the window to try and make him a little more comfortable. Charlie was going to die within the hour that much was obvious, I could hear his heart fluctuating between beating very loudly to very quietly and I knew it could only keep up it's weak attempts at keeping the old man breathing for so much longer. I bent down and whispered Bella in Charlie's ear, his thoughts would betray him here, his subconscious mind would unwillingly think what I needed to know. At the name of his only daughter Charlie began to toss and turn in his sleep, he immediately broke out in a cold sweat.
"Bella…my beautiful baby girl…why did you leave me?" Charlie muttered brokenly in his sleep. Then he thought the most disturbing images I had ever seen. Bella broken and sobbing, Bella walking around like a zombie for months on end, Jacob helping Bella to heal, Bella when Jacob stopped talking to her, and finally Jacob coming over one day and telling Charlie that Bella had thrown herself into the ocean and had never been found again. I ran as fast as I could, I ran until I had no idea where I was or where I was going I just knew I had to go somewhere, to do something. When I finally stopped I found myself back in my room in Seattle. Alice was standing over me; her mind beseeched me to tell her what I discovered. I looked at her brokenly.
"Bella killed herself months after we left. Jacob saw her jump off of a cliff, he couldn't stop her and no one was ever able to find her body. I made her kill herself, she died because of me. It's all my fault…you were right all along Alice, I killed her. I ruined her life when I left and it resulted in her being more willing to murder herself and hurt everyone who loved her than live with the pain. I…I…I really am a monster Alice. This is exactly why angels shouldn't fall in love with monsters, because over time the angels get hurt." After that I broke down dry sobs wracked my body and I lay in my bed for a month refusing to eat, refusing to be comforted. I was a monster; monsters deserved all the pain they received for their evil deeds. It just killed me that my angel was the one who had to suffer for my idiocy.
"Oh God why did you let her kill herself? She was so innocent so pure, she deserved better than me. Bella, I loved you so much, how could you do it?" Alice slowly walked into my room without knocking.
"Edward…I'm so sorry for what happened. Don't kick me out, I only came in here to say that Carlisle thinks that maybe if we weren't living so close to Forks that then maybe you would feel a little better. So we're moving again. To Italy this time, Aro has been trying to get Carlisle to move back in with him and he has invited us to an upcoming Ball so we are moving in with them. Pack everything you want to take. We are leaving tomorrow."
The Volturri…we were moving in with the Volturri. This could be exactly what I needed to end my pathetic existence. No planning though, I need to keep changing my mind, Alice can't know.
Bella POV
It had been twenty-five years since I had stumbled up to the gates of Volterra and begged the Volturri to let me be their guard. Aro had seen what an odd life I had lead and had therefore allowed me to stay, the first week was spent with him explaining who I was before I moved to Forks to me, apparently I had repressed my memories so much that I had made myself forget everything that happened while I was there, I had also somehow managed to make myself forget my name; no one knows why I did that. Months after I was accepted the Volturri admitted letting me join them was the best decision they had ever made. My powers were, unique…to say the least. Since it was a werewolf that had saved me when I was changing I was completely immune to them…they couldn't kill me, since I had to change my personality to reflect the people I was around now I could change my physical appearance just as easily, I could take other vampire's powers with just one touch because almost all powers were immune to me-which they still were-, I could control all the elements because I was happy in the sun and sad in the rain, and I could make any vampire fertile…I don't know where that one came from. . I was also, for some very strange reason, the most beautiful vampire anyone had ever seen, no one knew why my beauty would be magnified with my change. All anyone knew recently was that for the first time ever Volterra was terrorized by eight vampire children, all of them fully trained in how to incapacitate a human and mostly trained in their unique powers. There was to be a Ball held in a few weeks time to declare them as official members of the Volturri, there was a lot of planning to do. I was in charge of coming up with suitable decorations for where the party would be, and planning the security for Aro, Marcus, and Caius; this party would be packed and they needed to be protected at all costs. Unfortunately I had a third task and one I was not looking forward to, I was supposed to design a wing of Volterra castle for the Cullens, a new vampire family who was coming to live with us, while they would probably not get a chance to meet me until the Ball it was still annoying putting up with new vampires. Oh well, I already had an idea about what I would do with their original rooms, Aro had given me a description of each of them. That was unimportant at the moment though, it was time to feed…
Authors Note: So that's it, tell me what you think should I continue or abandon.