A/N: Even though this is quite obvious, I do not own Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt, or Bleach, as if I did, I would be too busy making a second season of PSG to make fan-fiction. I'm only doing this because I'm really bored, so I may cut off the story before it finishes, unless this somehow gets a large number of reviewers. Pfft, like that's gonna happen. Also, this isn't gonna have Ichigo or people from Bleach, other than the first paragraph. The reason it's a cross-over is because I'm using an OC Shinigami from Bleach. Yup, I can feel the trolls already.
Rated M because... Well, if you've seen PSG, you know why.
Coren yawned, making Captain Kyoroku sigh.
"Were you even listening?" Coren shook his head. "I said that you are being assigned to a place called Daten City. For some unknown reason, Souls have been changing into beings known as Ghosts, rather than Hollows. The Head-Captain want's you too investigate the abnormality."
"And you want this over with already so you can get back to sleeping. Don't worry, I got this. Chances are though, it's an abnormality caused by an incredibly powerful being using certain abilities to change Souls into Ghosts, but that's just speculative bullshit, so I'ma get going now. When I get back, I'll have either figured out and fixed everything, or I'll have banged to many woman and broke something."
After high-fiving Captain Kyoroku, Coren headed for the Senkaimon. He walked through silently, his Hell Butterfly guiding him through the Precipice World.
"Fuck!" screamed the blond woman as she shot the Ghost. This was the Angel, Anarchy Panty, whom acted like anything but what she was.
"Will you shut up already? We have work to do," said Panty's sister, Anarchy Stocking, the sweets addicted Angel, whom sliced a mini ghost with her sword.
"Ah, this is a waste of time anyway! I want to get back to my goal of fucking 1000 people!"
"You really are a bitchy slut. Can't you go one day without thinking about dicks?"
"Ha, that would be the same as asking you to go one day without sweets." Stocking cut through another mini ghost, but then turned to glare at Panty.
"That's totally different. You can live without a dick inside you, but I can't live without my sweets!"
"Panty, look out!" Panty turned to see the Brief, the orange haired geek whom seemed to take a liking to her, charging her. He tackled her out of the way just in time to keep her from being crushed by the giant rock thrown by the big bad boss Ghost.
"Get off of me Geek Boy!" Panty started to shoot Brief, but since he was human, it had the same as shooting him with a BB gun. The bullets bounce off, but it still stings like a bitch.
"Owowowowow! But Panty, I just-"
"Get back here Geek Boy!" Brief had stood up and backed up a bit, to which Panty had gotten up to chase him.
Coren walked out of the Senkai Gate and looked around. "So, this is Daten Cit- What the fuck?" He looked out in the distance to see a giant black rock with yellow highlights, and a giant grinning mouth. "Is that a Ghost..?" he thought for a second, but was interrupted by what felt to be a rock striking the side of his head. He turned to see a blond woman chasing a geek-ish orange-haired boy, shooting him with a weird looking BB gun. As they ran past him, Coren stuck out his leg to trip Blondy, and when she fell, she slid, making Coren chuckle.
"Fuck! Who the fuck do you think you are, fucking tripping me like that!"
"Who the fuck do you think you are, to be shooting someone like that, not even caring that you could hit a bystander?" was Coren's calm response. "Now then, perhaps you could tell me if that giant rock is normal?" Coren asked, gesturing to the rock in the distance. "I'm new here, so if you could help, I'd forgive you for shooting me upside the face." Coren's tone had an accusatory tone in it, which only pissed Panty off more. She got up, whipping around to look at Coren, and she froze at the sight of him.
"Holy fuck, he's hot!" thought Panty.
"Damn, she's fuckin' hot!" Coren sighed, annoyed by the way his Zanpakuto was always thinking. "And she's feisty too. And look at those huge-"
"Well?" Coren asked, getting impatient, and slightly annoyed with his Zanpakuto.
"Watch out!" Coren turned to see a huge boulder flying at the two of them. Coren mentally reminded himself to thank the geek for pointing that out, as that boulder looked painful.
"Burakkuonsurōto," he said as he unsheathed his pitch black sword. As the boulder came closer, he swung his blade, letting out a huge wave of energy, shattering the boulder into small BB sized pieces. That hit Geek Boy in the face repeatedly. "Fuckin' rocks."
"I agree with that," said both Panty and his Zanpakuto, Kain. Oh god, she's as perverted as he is.
"This is why I lost my faith in mankind. Get up and run, I don't want you two getting hurt." The giant Ghost-Boulder he noticed upon entry was flying at them at an incredible speed.
"Run! Who the fuck do you think-" Coren suddenly tackled Panty, shutting her up and moving her out of the way of a giant scythe flying at her. Coren drew a handgun he'd bought last time he was in the world of the living, and aimed at the area where the scythe had come from.
"Alright slutty Angels, this Ghost will spell your end." Two red-skinned women appeared, wearing school-girl outfits. They had demon-like tails, and they had weapons.
"Damn right! Those puppies are lethal!"
"I'm gonna kill you Kain, if you don't shut up..." he muttered quietly. Now that he looked though, the two of them were pretty hot. Their skirts were incredibly short, showing off their perfect asses, and they certainly weren't lacking in their breasts. Seriously, if Kain could drool, he would be. "Oh great, more distractions."
"They may be distractions, but they're damn good ones!" At this, Coren closed his verbal connection with his Zanpakuto as he raised his sword and pointed it towards the two newcomers.
"Now then, get out of the way. I'd much rather not destroy you with the giant rock."
"Oh, so you found a replacement for Geek Boy? I must say, this is a major improvement. With the quality of the men you sleep with, finding him must have been dumb luck."
"I don't have time for this." Coren walked forwards and pushed the two of them out of the way, as he roared, "Blood Kain!" and swung his sword. He let out an even larger blast from his sword, obliterating the giant Ghost in a single blow. "Burn." He sheathed his sword, which then exploded into black flame, engulfing the falling stones, turning them from pebbles to disintegrated ash. Once his sword reformed itself, he turned to the awestruck redheads.
"I need to kill myself for making that pun." thought Coren.
"Now then, what were you saying? I believe it was that you called Blondy a slutty Angel?"
"This just keeps getting better. Where's the popcorn?" Coren resisted the urge to cut the verbal link again, but decided otherwise. He'd have to re-establish it if he wanted to do any powerful moves anyway. Before the red-skinned girls responded, a little gothic girl with purple hair and pink highlights came down. She had one stocking on, and she was holding a sword with the same pattern engraved in it as the stocking did.
"Holy shit, those aren't tits, they're moons! Those things are HUGE!" Coren cut him off again. Being perverted is one thing, but quoting Star Wars incredibly poorly to make a bad tit joke? Now that's going to far. But he was right though, those were some tig 'ol bitties.
"Hmm, I guess the slutty Angel at least has some taste in men, even though all the other men she fucks suggest quite the opposite."
"What the fuck did you just say!" Coren droned out the resulting bickering that came from the four of them, completely bored out of his mind, yet still annoyed beyond belief. Thankfully, something came out to break up the arguing. That 'something,' being a giant stone fist about to slam into Geek Boy. Coren unsheathed Kain as he Shunpoed next to Geek Boy. He blocked the stone fist with the flat of his blade, which he held behind him, parallel to his back.
"You alright there?" after he nodded, Coren asked "What's your name?"
"B-Brief. Breifers Rock." Coren nodded.
"We're gonna need to talk. The women seem to be to bitchy to talk to." Brief still seemed rather amazed that Coren had blocked the fist so offhandedly, with one arm. "The name's Coren Keitaro."
"Hey, who the Hell are you calling bitchy!" screamed Blondy.
"All four of you. Now if you don't mind, I'll be kicking ass while you 4 bicker mindlessly like mentally retarded children." Coren slammed back the stone fist, which exploded, only to reform. "Fuck. Maybe a little change of pace might do well." Coren spun Kain around and said "Cleanse the world with blood and violence. Buraddokain." Coren's blade shattered, it's shards sliding within Coren's flesh. "Element change, Light." his arm glowed with a celestial light as he charged forwards. As the giant Ghost-Boulder turned into a fist again and charged him, Coren leapt to the side as he arm changed into a shining silver blade. He dragged his sword through the stone fist until it changed into a boulder again. It then tried to launch itself into Coren, but he released several hundred shards of the sword, tearing the boulder into tiny pieces, and the only part to hit him was a small black pebble. He caught it as his swords disappeared and returned to his arm, showed by an increase in the light around his arm. The light turned black as he crushed the small Ghost in the palm of his hand, resulting in it turning into 6 golden coins, and the church bell ringing.
"Way to easy." Coren sheathed his blade, but kept it in Shikai. "Well, see you later Brief." he said, pocketing the 6 coins and walking away.
"What the fuck." Coren glanced behind him to see Blondy staring at him. "Give us those coins."
"And why would I do that, ya bitch?" Coren's tone seemed slightly playful, but solely because Kain still had influence. Coren didn't recede from Shikai to sealed state, as Blondy might go bat-shit crazy, but he did lessen Kain's strength.
"Because those are ours." Before Coren could point out he earned them against that stoner, the demonic looking girls interrupted him.
"You killed our Ghost! You just broke one of our rules, and now you will pay!" the way she rolled the r's in Rules was kind of odd, but Coren ignored that part.
"You made that thing?" Count one to that BS speculative theory...
"Yes! I'm Scanty!"
"And I'm her sister, Kneesocks!"
"Wanna know something? I've never heard of any of you."
"What! You bastard!" the four of them all attacked Coren at once. Coren easily deflected each of their attacks, mainly because Scanty and Blondy were trying to beat him to death with their guns, but also because only Goth and Kneesocks had good aim. Sadly, they then made use of their superior numbers, as Goth and Kneesocks attacked at separate times to make it harder to block, and Blondy and Scanty stopped being idiots and shot at him. He deflected every hit, but that wasn't gonna last. As he jumped back, Blondy laughed.
"What, giving up already?"
"Tch. Like Hell I am." Coren swung his sword, releasing a small burst of energy. Goth and Kneesocks deflected it easily, and didn't notice that Coren had bitten open his thumb and purposefully bled on his Zanpakuto.
"Here, give us the coins and I'll show you a night you'll never forget."
"Take the deal man! You haven't gotten laid in a whole week!"
"Sorry, but sluts and bitches aren't my thing. Guess that's bit of a double negative for you though." the other three girls began to laugh, but Blondy didn't seem to find it amusing.
"That's it, you may be sexy, but I'm still gonna fuck you up."
"Sorry, but I've already been to Hell once. Wait, you stopped talking about sex, didn't you?" the other three girls pretty much burst out laughing at that, and Panty started shooting at Coren, who disappeared and thwapped her in the back of the head, sending her flying.
"Hey, nobody does that to Panty!" Goth charged Coren just as he tried to speak.
"Wow, her name's Panty. Schwing!" Coren got distracted by Kain, and screwed up the wording for his Bankai, and got his cheek cut by Goth's swords. She now had two swords, but no stockings.
"Wait, you can transform your stockings into swords?" Goth looked a little surprised, and Coren took advantage of that. "Drown this world and all others in an endless sea of black blood. Show your Dark and demonic heritage, Buraddokain." a huge wave of energy flooded the area, knocking the four girls to the ground. His blade faded out of existence as all lights dimmed. "I'm tired and hungry. Good night." as all light disappeared, the four girls fell unconscious. Brief was fine though, as Coren targeted just those four girls. "Hey Brief, do you happen to know of any good pizza places? I like pizza."
"W-What did you do to them?" Brief asked, scared that they all had been knocked unconscious.
"In a nutshell? I screwed with their senses. The darkness I pushed them into is actually non-lethal. I can't kill with it. It's only power is complete incapacitation for up to one hour, depending on how strong they are. Anything else probably would've killed 'em, and while they are really bitchy, they ain't that bad."
"I can second that." a man in a black trench-coat materialized next to Coren, though he was only staring at the four unconscious girls. "Damnit, I wish I had a sleep fetish. Then this would be so much hotter." Coren sighed.
"This is my... Friend. And by friend, I of course mean in the terms that the one perverted asshole who lives in his mother's house, and crashes at yours sometimes, and constantly screws up everything for you, is your friend. In short, he's a really crappy friend." Kain shot him a glare, though not one of him being pissed off at what he said, but that he was annoyed Coren wouldn't let him sleep-fuck the four of them. "Ooh, I smell pizza." Coren said, running in a certain direction.
"Damn, his mind is almost as one-track a mine... Hellooooo nurse!" he said, looking at a random passer-by. Coren turned around, grabbed him, and dragged him along to the pizzeria.
A/N: Yeah, I think I might've over-done it just a bit. Anyway, if you actually read this, please review so I can figure out what I should work on.