My Third fic for the Durarara! Fandom XD YAY! And this time it's for my fav. Alternate Shizaya Pairing - TsukiHachi! XDDD
I love this song and I probably will never stop loving it. I swear, I incorporate it to just about every OTP in every fandom I have!
If you haven't listened to it yet... you're missing out! XDD Especially since it has a really awesome Shizaya MAD so go watch/listen to it XDD
Warning: Not sure if it applies but... my friend and my beta before -MysticShadowDemon - said they cried before when they read this O_O... (I do have to say it's very heart wrenching for me too... TT^TT ) Also, this is a two shot ssu, I dunno when the second half'll be finished... =_= Hopefully by the end of the week
Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara! It's too awesome for the likes of moi!
Anyways, I hope you enjoy anyway, and Please Review! XDD
*-*-*-*_~The Story You Don't Know~_*-*-*-*
It was a day just like any other. The sky was particularly clear that afternoon with only a few clouds scattered about; the warm summer breeze bringing a soothing calm to the land, making it a perfect day to play outside.
However, it didn't do anything to soothe the pain in the raven's heart as he glanced up at the heavens, sitting a distance away from the rest of his peers. His face held no expression -as it seldom did; a glum atmosphere seemingly radiating from his being.
His lunch lay open in front of him, but he wasn't paying it much attention. He wasn't all that hungry -he never was- and his attention was more or less focused on the bickering of two of his companions; one of them being his older brother, whom he shares a similar face, and the other...
He looked down as he saw the blond upperclassman clench the fabric of his older brother's shirt, faces coming just a little too close to each other's even as they wore venomous grins. He curled up on himself as he tried not to think about it. About how, ever since they were young, the blond would always always look at his older brother; no matter what the situation, no matter who he was facing, no matter what the younger raven was doing, whenever his older brother appears, the blond would always always look that way, would always devote his attention to the older raven, while he would always be there forgotten as he watches the two bicker, claiming to want to kill each other.
He felt a sting in his heart as he tried, once again, not to think of it.
...the other, the blond boy with the beautiful, beautiful honey coloured eyes was his childhood crush. Orihara Hachimenroppi's first love. And his older brother's best friend and rival...
And lover -he knew, but he never wanted to think of it.
He felt his fists clench tightly on the fabric of his jacket as he tried to ignore everything. Ignore how two have always looked perfect for each other, ignore how two looked at each other, ignore how he could see just how much the two meant to each other…
He ignored the stinging in his chest, suppressing just how jealous he is of his perfect older brother; always the smarter, the skilled, the one the blond truly loves… He just couldn't believe how much pain he felt from something so hopeless.
He knew ever since he was little it was a futile love. He knew ever since he was little that the blond liked his older brother more than him. It was more than obvious, everyone loved Orihara Izaya more than Orihara Hachimenroppi. But no matter what he did he couldn't stop feeling like this for the blond, even after the day he knew that he and his older brother were finally together in that way and his heart broke into a million pieces.
It was hopeless… hopeless from the start. And he knew he was an idiot for letting it affect him.
But it hurt.
And he couldn't do anything to stop it.
*\*\*\*_*/*/*/*
It was a day just like any other, and just like any other day he was still looking at him. And just like any other day, he was still looking at him.
He doesn't know exactly why the young raven always did this. He hates seeing those pain-filled eyes always staring at his older brother; especially since he knows no one else could see it but him. And he hates how he just might look the same way whenever he looks at him.
Heiwajima Tsukishima has always felt pain stab his heart whenever he sees his best friend, Hachimenroppi, stare at his older brother, Heiwajima Shizuo, with hurt-filled eyes. And the pain only grows because he knows that the younger raven knows that their older brothers are together.
He knew that what the younger raven was doing was only hurting himself, and Tsukishima wanted so desperately to make him stop.
He didn't know what hurt more; seeing Hachimenroppi always hurting himself, emotionally and physically, because of his older brother, while he just watched powerless to make it stop...… or the fact that his deep love for the raven can in no way help him and his love from the pain they both felt.
And he's always wanted more than anything for the raven to stop hurting... and... there was also the selfish wish for the raven to notice him.
Tsukishima has always loved Hachimenroppi…but it was unrequited as he knew that the raven loves his older brother, and he has always been scared of confessing his feelings for fear of rejection and losing the friendship he has with the young raven.
He didn't want to hurt Hachimenroppi any more than the raven was already hurting. He wanted more than anything to relieve the raven of his pain.
But, there was a time when he almost, almost confessed; the time when he found out that his older brother and Hachimenroppi's older brother were finally together, and that time he was filled with a naive joy thinking he may have just acquired a chance to confess his feelings to the young raven. And maybe there's even a slight chance the raven would understand and even be able to return them. He came close too, so close, but in the end he couldn't do it.
Because Hachimenroppi refused to even look at him, and the raven's beautiful crimson eyes held nothing but pain and hurt and tears.
He felt his world collapse then, and it hurt so much.
His fears made themselves all too clear to him then, because Hachimenroppi, the person he loves with all his heart, looked so very broken. Perhaps even more broken than he himself felt, and he was scared that if he confessed, he would break him even more. It was inconsiderate and selfish, and he fought the urge to just cry out in pain.
So he kept quiet. Forcing out an understanding smile, he did his best to console the raven, hiding how he was trembling. He let his love cry on his shoulder and soak his snow white scarf with tears, while he tried his best to hide his own crying and how his scarf was also soaking in his own tears.
That time, Tsukishima felt his heart break into a million pieces.
It's been two years since then, and his heart is still broken. Hachimenroppi still likes his older brother, and the young raven is still broken and hurting over it while he is still hurting over it too. He's still scared of making things bad or worse.
He sighed.
He wonders if a day will ever come when he can finally be honest with his feelings, when he can heal his broken heart, when he can finally save the love of his life from the pain of hisbroken heart.
And deep inside him, he silently wishes that he would be the one to heal the other's broken heart, just like how he knows that the other is the only one who can heal his own.
He hopes for a time when he can finally see the love of his life smile again, just like he did so long ago...…
He hopes it will come.
*\*\*\*_*/*/*/*
It was a day like any other, and Shinra sighed at his two best friends' antics. Sure it was a common occurrence, an everyday thing, and he was practically used to it, but considering how the two were going out and are still trying to kill each other on a daily basis...yeah, it could get tiresome sometimes.
But that's not really the problem right now, not as he observed his two best friends' little brothers who were sitting quite a distance from the group.
The weather was so nice out with the sun shining brightly up in the clear blue sky, and yet you can practically see the dark, heavy rain clouds circling above the youngest members of their group from a mile away with the depressing aura they were emitting.
He knew Hachimenroppi was a gloom from the moment he first met the boy, but Tsukishima was usually all smiles... or at least...hidden behind smiles, although there were times he became quite terribly depressed. But today, the two seemed a little more than their usual under-the-weather...
He smiled a little sadly as he started on his lunch.
It was almost graduation for the seniors of Raijin academy, and he knew that Izaya and Shizuo are going to be moving in with each other as soon a school finished. He guesses this makes the two freshmen quite lonely...
And of course, one can't rule out the two's unrequited love.
His friends always have been the type to be quite complicated where love was concerned. Even Izaya and Shizuo took 6 years of mutual hatred and deadly play fights with each other before they found the truth to the saying 'The More You Hate, The More You Love'.
Aah how lucky he was to have such a perfect relationship with the love of his life, Shinra thought to himself with a goofy smile. Now he wonders how he can lighten up the mood for his little kohais.
Placing his empty lunchbox down, he stood up, an idea clear in his mind.
"Hey guys," he called out, catching everyone's attention, accidentally preventing his raven haired friend from getting a black eye. He smiled brightly, noting how the youngest two momentarily snapped out of their gloomy gaze to regard him. "So..." he paused, regarding the slightly annoyed faces of his peers. "I heard there's going to be a meteor shower tonight"
His smile grew wider when he saw a hopeful look on the younger blonde's face, and the younger raven perked up.
*\*\*\*_*/*/*/*
Hachimenroppi felt his heart race as he stared down at his feet, his head propped up on his knees.
A meteor shower...He's only ever seen them on TV, and even only through a screen he would always feel this breath-taking sensation as he watched the heavenly bodies shoot through the skies, falling like rain.
It was so different from just the ordinary lights of the city of Tokyo, or the lights from the night clubs his older brother would sometimes drag him into…
His eyes twinkled with childlike wonder as he thought. He really, truly, genuinely, wanted to see it.
Without even noticing, he stood up, his mouth opened.
"Then, let's go see the stars" his own words, albeit only slightly more than a whisper, surprised even him. He stiffened, suddenly uncomfortable when he discovered all eyes directed at him.
Shizuo blinked at him, once, twice, three times, then his face broke into a wide grin and he approached the younger raven.
Hachimenroppi instinctively backed away slightly, uncertainty on his features as the blond stepped closer to him. Whether the taller blond saw this or not was a mystery for the man only placed a hand on the raven's hair, ruffling it affectionately as his grin grew wider.
"You think up good things once in a while kid" he stated, letting the bewildered young raven go before turning to the rest of the guys. "Well, what'dya all say? Wanna go stargazing tonight?"" he asked.
After a quick exchange of glances and curious stares, the grin on the older blond's face was mirrored by 4 others.
Shinra wore the brightest of them all.
*\*\*\*_*/*/*/*
Tsukishima never took his eyes off Hachimenroppi as Shinra spoke, and a smile grew on his lips as he saw the thoughtful look on the young raven's face. He knew how much the raven loved shooting stars, he remembered how the raven used to gasp out in glee whenever they watched any astronomical shows when they were younger.
He probably had to thank Shinra-sempai later for bringing it up, because the raven looked decidedly more cheerful than he normally is, and thus, it was also able to lift the young blond's spirits.
He ignored the pang in his heart when he saw how flustered his first love became when his older brother ruffled the raven's hair; an affectionate gesture. He couldn't really do anything about it, and he wouldn't so long as Roppi was happy. It still hurt to know that Roppi still liked Tsuki's older brother though.
He looked up at the sky, imagining how it would look like once the sun has set and the stars started raining down on them. He felt oddly light, almost weightless. Perhaps... even if it's dark I should bring my sketchbook. He thought with a smile, imagining his first love standing in the dark of the night before a field of stars. His eyes would be the brightest of them all though.
"-kishima? Hey Tsuki!"" he was suddenly brought to reality when he felt someone shaking him, and he found his older brother leaning down in front of him. He blinked, his scarlet eyes looking curiously at gold.
Shizuo quirked a brow at his little brother, before sighing. "You're coming right? Cause I'm definitely dragging you out whether you like it or not" the older blond stated.
Tsuki blinked again, before grinning in slight embarrassment. "Yeah, I'm coming" he stated, silently apologizing for spacing out like that.
The older Heiwajima grinned as well. "Right, then that's settled"" and at that moment, the bell signalling the start of afternoon classes resounded. "And we should all head back to class now. We'll see you guys later""he called, walking out with Izaya skipping behind him.
From the corner of his eyes, Tsuki spotted Roppi's gaze following them until the two disappeared behind the doors. The young blond couldn't help but pout at that, but he swallowed all his uncertainties and approached the raven. "So Roppi-san, we should head back too" he offered a hand, a smile on his face.
Hachimenroppi stared at the hand for a couple of moments, but he took it with a nod and a small smile at Tsukishima. And just like that the two walked out side by side.
Shinra and Kadota were the only ones left and the scientist couldn't help humming. Kadota, being himself, stared oddly at the bespectacled brunette. "Are you planning something?" he asked suspiciously.
Shinra just kept humming. "What ever could you mean Kyohei-kun?"
"I dunno, you're just being weird again is all" the taller brunette stated, then stretched and began to walk out. "Well, I suppose it doesn't really have anything to do with me so I'll just leave you alone" and that he did.
Shinra smirked before skipping out as well. He wasn't really planning something. He's just providing opportunities. After all those two freshmen looked utterly adorable together but they're making themselves miserable. Celty has been the one who told him that, and so he would do her the favour of bringing the two 'together' together. If you know what he means.
*\*\*\*_*/*/*/*
Night had already fallen when the group met up, and all throughout Hachimenroppi looked glumly at the night sky, ignoring his older talking and skipping by his side.
Above was pitch black, all forms of heavenly bodies drowned out by the neon lights of the city.
Ikebukuro… Tokyo in general was a big city. Everywhere you look there were flashing lights from buildings, advertisements and billboards… it would have been a sight for others, but for someone yearning for the literal stars it was a very dejecting sight.
Maybe.. the young raven thought as he stared at the black sky, a desolate frown on his face. Maybe we won't get to see the stars after all...
He flinched when a hand suddenly connected with his shoulder, making him almost bolt before he could look behind him to find Shinra there leaning just a little too close. "S-Sempai...?"" he asked nervously, taking a couple of steps back.
The bespectacled man smiled. "Come on Roppi-kun. We're headed this way" he stated, pointing behind him to a narrow pathway into the forest. Hachimenroppi hadn't noticed they'd stopped walking, completely lost in his own thoughts.
They were already at the outskirts of the city, and looking through the dense trees unnerved him just a bit for some unknown reason, but that didn't stop anyone from entering it.
Inside the forest was dark. Darker than he expected. And cold.
He walked just a little behind the group, not wanting to get lost or anything in the thickness of the trees. Almost as an afterthought he took note to keep an eye on Tsukishima as well to make sure the ditzy blond doesn't get lost.
He almost smiled at the thought, thinking back on all the times he'd had to bring the young blond home whenever he got lost; then of course he'll always look inside the blond's house to see his older brother hanging over his crush.
He never stays very long, but Tsuki is kind enough to keep him company.
Even now Tsuki is still very much prone to getting lost, and that, coupled with a dark forest path would be disastrous.
Shivering as a cold gust of wind hit him, he clutched his jacket closer to himself only for his eyes to snap wide.
He couldn't hear anything past the whisper of the wind.
There was no one around. He didn't know when, but somehow he was on his own.
Fear clenched his throat as he looked around him, his breathing almost deafening in the silence. Everything was pitch black. He couldn't see anything, and he soon found that he couldn't move -his limbs frozen in place by the oppressive atmosphere.
His vision was getting cloudy, and his breathing came out harsher and harsher as panic ate at him.
Where was he? Where were the others? Did they leave him? Was he forgotten? ...Did it matter?
He was alone...
He was alone.
Always alone
Always always always.
The unwanted child
The shadow
The failure
Failure failure failure...
A hand suddenly clamped down on his shoulder, making him gasp as he was brought back to reality. His heartbeat quickening, his breath almost hitched when he saw familiar blond hair.
And came face to face with crimson eyes instead of gold. "Tsuki..." he breathed, calming down. If he was disappointed, his poker face didn't show it.
Tsukishima gave him a nervous smile. "S-sorry... did it hurt..?" he asked quietly, reluctantly retracting his hand from the other's shoulder.
Roppi only shook his head in reply.
Although Tsukishima possesed the same abnormal strength as his older brother -one which made refrigerators seem nothing more than paperweights- the younger blond was gentle in nature. Something that makes the ability almost nonexistent as he seldom lost control (unlike the volatile Heiwajima Shizuo).
Nonetheless, he still fears hurting others. Something the brothers had in common.
The blond sighed in relief as he saw this. "I'm glad I managed to find Roppi-san. I panicked when you suddenly disappeared"
The raven's expression softened just a bit. "Sorry. I was preoccupied. I guess I must've strayed... Sorry for worrying you" he stated.
Ah. That's right. Roppi was just thinking about keeping an eye on Tsukishima so the blond doesn't get lost... how ironic that it was him who disappeared.
"It's alright. You were always the one finding me whenever I get lost, so I guess I'm happy to be able to return the favor" Tsukishima smiled, almost warming the cold night air around them.
Roppi couldn't help the slight twitch on his lips. "Thank you" he stated monotonously... then a little more playful... "But do you know the way back?"
And just as he expected, the blond's face paled. A small smile finally broke out of his face at this. Well, at least he wasn't alone anymore...
He paused, replaying the last thought in his head...
Huh...?
The raven inspected his companion as the taller blond stuttered out a mass of apologies, face red out of embarrassment...
Cute...
The raven's eyes widened as the word echoed in his mind, surprising him. And for the first time ever... Hachimenroppi realized that, indeed, the blond in front of him was cute. Adorable even, now that he had room to think about it...
And he was always there...
"Roppi-san, look!" the blond exclaimed, a finger pointed skywards.
Hachimenroppi took his time averting his eyes from the wonder-filled expression lighting the other's face, before looking up towards the skies above them.
His eyes widened.
Stars.
It was raining stars.
*\*\*\*_*/*/*/*
"That's Denev, Altair and Vega, the summer triangle" Hachimenroppi explained as he pointed out three of the brighter stars in the sea of thousands, and Tsukishima made a point to remember them.
After the meteor shower began, neither Hachimenroppi nor Tsukishima felt the desire to move from their spots as they watched the heavenly bodies dance in the night sky. The both of them didn't realize until after some time, after their eyes had become accustomed to the darkness, that the spot the raven had ended up in was a spacious clearing, and the two freshmen decided to settle down on the soft grass.
The sky was as clear as it was earlier that day, and the darkness of the forest around them made the sparkling diamonds above all the more beautiful. Tsuki couldn't help the smile on his face, the feeling of absolute contentment he felt at that moment.
It was just him and Roppi. Just the two of them, watching the stars.
And for the first time in a long long while, Tsukishima was able to marvel at the peaceful -beautiful- smile on his love's face, eyes shining with awe and contentment; and as he expected, the other's ruby orbs were indeed the brightest of them all.
Subconsciously, he wonders if it would be alright to say it. To say the things he's been keeping inside him for so long. To tell the only person he's ever... he'll ever... love his honest feelings.
He thinks that if there ever was a perfect moment for it, -like in romance novels and shoujo mangas- it's now.
It was like a dream, and before he can even begin to think things through, words were forming from his lips. "Roppi-san... t-there's something I want to tell you... Will you listen?"
His heart skipped a beat as crimson eyes faced his own, curiosity mixing in with the earlier content as the smaller teen gave his silent permission.
Tsukishima felt his heart beat speed up as he opened his lips, hoping against all hope, words he's always wanted to say -yet was always so afraid of- at the tip of his tongue...
...Since when? he wonders. Since when had he been chasing after the raven before him? Since when had he been wishing for more than the friendship they had?
Since when had the pain in his chest been so unbearable that he just can't keep his heart hidden anymore?
P-Please Roppi-san... don't be surprised... y-you see I...
"Y-you see... for the longest time I've... about Roppi-san I... I lo-"
"OOY! TSUKI! ROPPI!" the blond jumped, snapping back to reality at the sudden call. He felt the blood drain from his face when he realized just what it was he had almost confessed, and the great risks that would've come with it.
Roppi was still staring at him, eyes swirling with unmasked confusion, and he almost forgot how to breath.
He did't know whether he was relieved or dejected when Shinra emerged from the thicket of trees, followed closely by the others.
"Thank goodness you're both alright!" Shinra exclaimed. "Although me and my lovely Celty knows this forest well enough, it's still not 100% safe"
Shizuo wasted no time in reprimanding him. "THE FUCK TSUKI?!" he roared, practically shaking the entire forest. "DON'T JUST KEEP DISSAPEARING LIKE THAT! WHAT'D I TELL MOM AND KASUKA IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TO YOU DAMMIT!"
Although incredibly angry, Tsuki knew his older brother well enough to see that he was just worried, and the younger did feel guilty at suddenly dissapearing like that... although it wasn't exactly on purpose. "I-I'm sorry nii-san..." he mumbled in an awfully quiet, shaky voice; a sharp contast to the older Heiwajima's volcanic erruption.
Shizuo sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Sorry Izaya's little brother..." he said, acknowledging the silent raven. "Thanks for always takin' care of my little bro, specially when he keeps gettin' lost like this..." he sighed again.
"Uh... no. Actually it's my fault this time..." the raven confessed monotonously. (Tsuki felt an arrow of guilt pierce his chest at this. Honestly, he did get lost... he was just lucky that he was actually able to find Roppi as quickly as he did)
"Still, thanks for always bringing him back" the older blond smiled, ruffling the younger raven's hair.
Tsuki turned away, closing his eyes. He didn't need to see to know the expression the raven was making at his brother's gentle gesture.
I couldn't say it after all... he thought, a sad smile on his face as pain he was so accustomed to stung his chest. Well... it.s alright.
Just being by his side is enough.
*\*\*\*_*/*/*/*
"Still, thanks for always bringing him back"
...Something's strange, Roppi realized as he replayed those words.
Shizuo was in front of him. Smiling down at him with that gentle look that he's always adored, his hair being ruffled by the same warm hand that he's always loved...
But somehow the only thing he could think of at that time was Does Tsuki really get lost that often? which is strange because Roppi knows that he does. Because Roppi was always the first to look for him.
Now that he thinks about it, he was always the one who finds him too...
But then, it was only natural. He's known Tsuki for years now after all, who knows just what sort of trouble the young blond could get into on his own?
Despite his monstrous strength, Tsuki was nothing more than an innocent, sometimes airheaded child inside; which is exactly why Roppi is compelled to take care of him.
That's just how it was.
At that moment, Izaya suddenly cut through his train of thought with a witty comment directed at the blond in front of him, starting another cat-and-dog chase as both sped away and Roppi was confused when it didn't bother him as much as it usually did.
He didn't really know how that was, but then he met his older brother's eyes, and he found no trouble interpretting the other's silent message.
I know something you don't, read the older raven's eyes, and this only served to confuse the teenager further.
What's more was the sudden clench in his heart, the sense of foreboding that came with it...
Because Izaya rarely, if ever, looked sorry.
*\*\*\*Part 1: End*/*/*/*