It was after she finished telling her story that I felt my heart break for the second time. And it was the first time I felt the real weight of the fact: she was already dead. And she was going back.

It was already dark and I had school in the morning but I'd told mom I was going to run to the store for bread. In the moment that I looked up, away from her pained face I felt like the moon was mocking me, by shining so bright and calmly and climbing slowly into the arms of the sky. The first of the stars had started to blink themselves awake, making my heart squeeze. That's was she was to me in so little time. My star.

And suddenly my hands found their way into her dark, knotted, curly mane. They ended up tangled there and I wasn't especially careful when I tugged them through. She had already told me that she wasn't sure about how she felt, about me, about us. Yet at the moment, I didn't care.

I started at her forehead and left a trail down her face and neck with my lips. Something wet touched my cheek and I realized she was crying. I wiped her warm, brown cheeks with one of my hands and her stormy eyes stared back at me, looking more sorry than I'd seen them so far. It wasn't until she reached up and started wiping my cheeks that I realized I was crying too. An involuntary sob crept up my throat when I leaned my forehead against hers. I tried to disguise it as a cough.

"This isn't right," she whispered. An owl hooted somewhere far behind me, and the distant lights of my neighborhood shown through the trees. "This can't happen. We can't happen. Jude, are you hearin' me?" Her voice was thick and pained, and there was that accent again. I heard her all right, but I wasn't listening.

Next thing I knew, my lips where on hers. It was my second kiss ever, the first intentional one at that. Sadly, it was rushed, desperate, messy. I poured all the sadness, fear, and regret I could into it. She was doing the same, I think . I didn't realize how hard I was pushing against her until she stumbled backwards, falling against a tree. It audibly knocked the wind out of her, our foreheads banged against each other, but somehow that only made me press harder. She pushed back. I took a second to thank all the gods I could think of that a nymph hadn't come out to chastise us.

"Jude...we can't..." she mumbled against me when she could. I didn't let her say anymore. For a while, it was just us, and the air around us heating up, and the sound of her hair catching on the bark, and bullfrogs, and crickets. If I'd had the chance I would've recorded us and fallen asleep to the sound of that forever. Which to be honest is kind of creepy. Don't judge me.

I pulled back slowly, both of us breathing hard. My hands where curled into her hair again and hers were holding my face and I swear I couldn't have asked for a more perfect moment. Until I realized she was becoming translucent. She was being summoned back, like she'd told me would happen. I was still taken by surprise.

Then I panicked, "Hester, I think I love you." Yes. Smooth Jude, confuse the girl more than she already was. Way to ruin the mood.

She looked down at her clean, black Chuck Taylors. I thought she'd be disgusted or angry. I mentally beat the crap out of myself until she made a small noise. She was crying and my hands were starting to sink into her fading body. "Star, stop crying. Look at me. I want to look at you one more time. So I never forget." Cheesy, I know, but that's how I really felt. I firmly grasped her forearms so she would look up.

Four feet and ten inches of spunk, prestige, apathy, and hot temper; my orange sweatshirt came down to nearly her knees because at five-eleven I was more than a foot taller than her. Her straight leg jeans were folded up neatly once, the way they always were. I let my gaze wander up her body. The sleeves of the sweatshirt were shoved up, her thin dark arms hanging limply at her sides. Her face was slick with tears. Some of her frizzy hair still had white paint on it from helping Chiron fix a hole in a wall earlier (and I would never tell her this, but the rough bangs she'd cut when I'd gotten gum tangled in there, looked absolutely awful). It waved out in all directions and stuck up more often than not. She rubbed her upturned red nose on her arm. I wrinkled my face at her and let go of her arms, "Gross, did you just get snot on your arm?" She scoffed and punched me in the shoulder. Or she tried.

Her arm went right through my torso. I could see through her face to the rough bark of the tree behind her. I registered worry, fear, and frantic anxiety flash through Hester's eyes. She reached for me again and I lean forward to kiss her one more time. For a second I felt her damp lips against mine, then gravity yanked me forward by my collar and I executed a perfect faceplant on the tree. She squeaked and jumped to one side. I'd gone right through her.

At this point she became hysterical. I ended up sitting on the ground, my back to the tree. She cried into her palms next to me. After a few minutes I could barely make out her outline. She finally calmed down and looked up. Her eyes were puffy and her nose was starting to run.

I was going to say something along the lines of, hey, the translucent look is all the rage in Hades right now, but she cut me off (thankfully). She tried to place her hand on my thigh, but it went right through, turning her hysteria into angry. "Jude, when you said you thought you loved me... Did you mean that?"

Now I could only see the parts of her that the moonlight was bathing. "I did, Star."

"Okay. I think I love you too. I love the way you're completely insufferable. I love your long fingers, and your harp, and your nasty, greasy blonde hair-"

"Hey, none of that is good stuff! And what the hell my hair is not-"

"Hush up...I'm not done," She passed her insubstantial hand down my neck. I couldn't feel it but I shivered anyway. She continued. And what she said next shocked me so bad that I didn't notice that she'd completely faded. I sat by myself amongst the dark trees and let the stars mock me.

You're probably wondering why the Hades it is I'm reminiscing about kissing some girl in the woods. To be honest, I'm not completely sure myself. All I know is that I was never supposed to have been able to she her. Yet Hester had suddenly become the person who meant the most to me. Now I doubt I'll ever see her again.

My name is Jude Blackbourne and if you're reading this, looking for a beautiful romance between starcrossed lovers then you might as well leave. Hester and I are more than crossed- we're folded, twisted, bent, tied, stretched, more than just fated to be kept apart. This is your last chance to back out. Otherwise stay, and hear this fucked up story that I call my life. Pray it won't happen to you too.

it's kinda rough rn & really short but what d'yall think? should i keep going?
thanks for reading, review if you want