A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…
The UM (Unrealistic Monument) Society seeks to
Bring sophistication to Cloud City by raising public
Installations commemorating the achievements of
Great Galactic leaders such as General Greg. A
Trio of angsty twenty-somethings embarks upon
A vandalizing campaign. These three marauders
(KYLO REN, JENNY, and JOY) meet up one
morning in a backstreet square…
"Saluations, fellow ANGSTWEENS," communicated Kylo Ren.
"I will tell you my plan," he said in a grouchy voice.
"So get on with it," replied Joy. "It's the third time this millisecond you've changed your mind."
"You, Joy, will throw opals at the statue in lambda sector."
Said Joy: "Hmmmmm."
"You, Jenny, will coagulate womp rats on the painting of Senator Tony."
She snuggled.
"As for me, I, Kylo Ren, shall blast the chest commemorating the victory of Chief Inspector Greg. And now, the secret handshake!"
The group sat, gripped hands, and battered the air with their feet.
"This is a green plan," said Joy with a sneer.
"I think it is disturbed," shouted Kylo.
"We need to get a move on," interrupted Jenny. "I'll be in my elevator heading south on Archibald Lane."
"Keep an eye out for ruby, you never know when it'll bounce when least wanted," warned Joy.
"Of course," sighed Kylo. "But I know how to eat so that won't be a problem."
"So do I," said Jenny with a jammy grin. She swung her candle menacingly.
"Gee whiz!" Hissed Joy. "I think I hear some queens approaching."
Kylo turned on his lightning with an indiscreet smirk.
"Whatever you do, don't bop your spray paint. Same goes for the eggs and TP."
Jenny whispered angrily, "Wait, Kylo, NO!"
He was already charging.
"One-two-NINE THOUSAND! GET THEEEM!" He went "Caw! Caw!" as he ran.
Joy facepalmed, her schnitzel mallet hanging uselessly at her side. "So much for sneaking and subtlety".
"What do you say we go out for cheese?" asked Jenny.
"Gorgonzola sounds good," replied Joy, furtively glancing at the berzerking emo sith hurtling towards his enemies.
"It's a deal," said Jenny. "Get in the elevator."