"When the time bell blows my heart

And I have scored a better day

Well nobody made this war of mine"

Chapter One:

Three months. What were three months in one's life? She knew it herself; it would be over before she even had time to realize it had happened; to analyze all the things such peculiar situation could actually bring up. Hadn't she said herself that she wanted a family? Hadn't she kept on looking at the others with envy when they gathered and shared simple moments she had never got to live?

As Maura made it upstairs – mug of herbal tea in hand – she knew that this was her chance; maybe the only one she would ever get. It might not have been perfect, it was still there and Cailin was part of her family; to an extent.

Timidly, the honey blonde passed the door of the guestroom where the young student had settled in. Trying to ignore the way Cailin had unpacked a few things here and there without taking time to properly hang her clothes in the closet, Maura forced a smile; cleared her voice to catch her sister's attention. Within the last hours, everything had gone fast. Too fast. Hope had asked the scientist whether she could welcome Cailin while she would be abroad and without understanding what was really happening, Maura had suddenly found herself thrown in the middle of a cohabitation with a person she barely knew; to whom she was though linked in a peculiar way.

If she had never been good at handling human relationships, the idea of bonding with Cailin seemed to be a real challenge that she wasn't sure to be properly able to take up.

Looking up from her notes – lay down on her stomach on the bed – the brunette echoed Maura's smile and waited for the medical examiner to speak. She looked utterly comfortable, at ease. Too much, maybe.

Clutched to her mug, the blonde bit her lower lip. What was she supposed to say? After Jane had left, she had simply assumed that checking on Cailin to make sure that everything was alright came up logically. Yet now that she stood in front of the young woman, the realization that she had very few conversation plans was striking her rather harshly. Feeling a wave of panic crawl under her skin, she took a deep breath and swallowed hard.

"I hope that you will enjoy your stay, here. I know that this isn't your home but consider it as it and if you need anything, please let me know. I... I will do my best."

Her remark satisfied Cailin who nodded energetically before casting a glance at her notes; all the sheet of papers spread in front of her. College had just started yet she had a lot to study already.

"I will! All this might keep me up all night, though. So don't be worried. You and Jane can go to bed and if I need coffee or something, I'll go down to make some."

Maura smiled then froze as Cailin's words began to resound loud in her head. Confused, a thin line appeared on her forehead. Incomprehension and uncertainty settled in. Had she understood what her sister had told her the way she should have? After long seconds of doubts, she abdicated and shook her head before letting a nervous laugh pass her lips.

"Jane isn't spending the night, here. She... She went home. Although I might go to bed soon, you are right on this."

The brunette seemed genuinely surprised, which only managed to increase Maura's doubts about the insinuation of the previous comment. Curiously enough, the amused smile that suddenly played on Cailin's lips didn't reassure her at all.

"Oh... I'm nineteen, you know. It's all fine if she stays, here. I'm not close-minded or anything. As a matter of fact, some friends of mine are in a same-sex relationship. It's okay, there's nothing wrong with it."

If the medical examiner had been one to trust her instinct, she would have said that she had seen it come but until Cailin had made her point clear, she had assumed that she might have misinterpreted her sister's words. Though she hadn't, obviously. A wave of heat rushed up her cheeks and all of a sudden, she felt vulnerable – ridiculous – with her mug in hand; in her silky pajamas.

While a multitude of wonders were twirling around in her head, she tried to find a proper way – the best one – to clear up such misunderstanding but the words didn't manage to fix themselves in her brain. They kept on dancing around, slipping through her fingers before she had a chance to make a sentence out of them.

"Jane and I aren't together. I mean... We spend time together – a lot of time – so in this sense it is fair enough to say that we are together but we aren't like in... No. We... We aren't. A couple. We aren't a couple, if that is what you meant..."

Her mumbling didn't result very effective and the more she observed Cailin – whose face seemed a tad lost in incomprehension – the more Maura assumed that she had made the right choice about her professional career. Dealing with dead people was a lot easier than conversing with someone whose reactions were hard to handle.

"Oh."

The brunette didn't look bothered by her mistake, not the least. As a matter of fact, curiosity had settled in and frowning, she sat up on the bed before discarding the pen she had been holding until then.

"You've never slept together or you're not together anymore...?"

Maura chuckled. She hadn't expected that one of her first interactions with her sister would take such direction. Talking about sex wasn't a problem in itself for her and Cailin wasn't really a child anymore but still, there was something odd in all of this; the way things seemed to be escaping from her without leaving her a chance to ever try to get something out of it.

"No! I am... We are just friends, we have never... Of course not!"

A few seconds passed by during which Cailin didn't move, didn't say a word. Her eyes were simply fixed on Maura; as if she were trying to read through the honey blonde's own gaze. Finally, she bit her lower lip and shook her head.

"But you're still attracted to women, aren't you? You're not straight. You've dated women – slept with them – whatever you want to call it... Haven't you?"

The medical examiner opened her mouth to reply but not a single word passed her lips. Instead, her eyes began to scan the room nervously; desperately. Perhaps coming to check on her sister hadn't been a smart move. She was starting to regret it, little by little.

Cailin didn't miss her it; the way Maura seemed uncomfortable, now. Apologetically, she rose her hand and shook her head. It took her aback – completely aback – but maybe she had misjudged her older sister on her easiness to talk about some things; starting with her private life.

Perhaps the honey blonde had boundaries.

"Forget it, it's fine. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked. Some people don't like talking about it and... I don't know, I thought you didn't mind. It's okay, really."

Not knowing what to say nor do, Maura nodded in silence and turned on her heels. Very slowly, her steps led her to the door that she had let open but as her hand brushed the wooden frame – on her way out – she stopped and looked down at the floor. The silence of the house seemed heavy, all of a sudden. Loud, full of reproaches.

"I have no problem talking about my life. It is just that some things aren't made to be said out loud. It might sound wrong to you right now but one day you will understand what I mean. Goodnight..."