DISCLAIMER: We do not own Akatsuki, the Cullens, or anything else used in this story.
YAY!
Briana: Okay- so the deal is, my sister is (basicly) A Twilight fan. Not a big one, but she is. And I. Do. Not. Like. Twilight. The books were fine, but the more time goes on the more the good-writing high wears off and I start to notice how Bell & Eddie have no personalitys... Rosey has more personality, and mainly- Why did they fall for eachother? Because he's pretty and she's tasty? Moving on...
Now- however not Twi-tard. I am one thing- AN AKATSUKI-TARD! (And Narutard in general) SOOOOOO! Me and my sister are starting this collaberation- AKATSUKI MEETS TWILIGHT!
THE DAWNING OF TWILIGHT! WEEEE!
This should take place losely in-between book 2 and book 3. My sister wants to put a horror-movie-zest on it. Although I'm not sure how that'll work out. I'm just going to make sure Akatsuki's in character. So that we can accurately see who kicks most ass... It's Akatsuki of course, because they have awsome ablilitys, PERSONALITYS, amazing good looks... And just that bad-boy-but-only-cuz-our-daddys-didnt-hug-us-when-we-were-little-thing.
Then there's Zetsu... Who will most likely be badly under-mentioned... He'll basicly be guarding the Akatsuki's 'area' and all that crap.
There will be times where the writing style takes a giant change and things get more-make-sense and more in-detail... THAT IS WHEN I AM WRITING... The other stuff is my sisters... She's not one for detail- or suddleness... Very blunt actually, and I'll have to keep her from making Deidara in a love square with Sasori, Itachi and Tobi like she seems to love to do... Oh- right, and the Cullens... Don't know how she'll write them... She's only seen the movies...
Moving on~ I'll write the Akatsuki-prolouge myself, and then she'll write the Cullen-prolouge. Neither of us will intervine in the prolouges (So she might make the Cullens out of character, sorry.) So yeah. It'll be almost impossible to make my sissy refrain from Shonen-Ai hints. And she'll likely ignore all Cullen romance save for Ed-Bell-Jaco... How are we gonna do this?
I've also had to do alot of soul searching... ALOT... Of deciding wether or not I'm gonna re-write the personalitys for the Twilight characters, or just leave them the way they are and have the contrast between them and the Akatsuki be embarressingly bad... I've decided for the latter...
Anyway- I'll just write this Prolouge now... Get ready, set, ACTION!
-Akatsuki Prolouge-
Oh, how the Akatsuki just loved Tsunade.
Once upon a time. They were ruthless villians. Known throughout the world for the terror they caused. But then of course, those days ended when some little fat girl with a rant problem and Mary-Sue powers(whatever those were) captured them and handed them over to Konoha. Now, they were forced into life-time parole. Having to listen to the Leaf village and do their bidding. But unless serious help was needed- their actions were reduced to purely D-rank missions.
None of the members really cared though, they got to sit around their cave-base all day. They didn't care if they were good or evil. Because- well... They're often times rather lazy, mostly having joined Akatsuki because it gave them a roof over their heads or because Madara and/or Pain had given them the 'Or else I'll kill you' glare.
Konan was even happy with the change. Her quiet personality did a three-sixty and she was like a den mother now... Isn't that nice...
But even with all that- this is not why right now- Pain is seething. Kakuzu's clutching Hidan's(now bleeding) arm to try and prevent a heart attack. Deidara's hyper-ventilating. Sasori's weighing the options of killing everyone around him or just himself. Konan is wearing the 'please-dont-go-on-a-rampage' face. Kisame's wearing a 'this-probably-means-we're-screwed' face. And Tobi's-... well, Tobi was licking a lollipop no one's quite sure where he got from. But regardless.
Itachi held his face in his palm. He's not quite sure why the others are reacting like this. It's just a harmless B-rank.
"Lady Tsunade," Pain tried to force out his mouth while he and the other Akatsuki stood infront of the Hokage's desk. "Are you sure? I mean, some of my-... men, might not be capable of a task such as that you have given us." His face was still pale and body shaking.
"Listen, you all have proven your loyalty to Konoha. I trust you with this task." She explained, although it was technically Naruto who'd said the Akatsuki were perfect for the job. She wasn't going to argue with this organization full of tempermental teenagers and cranky old geezers and... well, then there was Kisame.
"I think we can handle this." Sasori said calmly. After finally deciding that if he attacked anyone they'd sick Naruto on him and he was just too vain to kill himself. "We just need to keep our composure. Right?"
None of the Akatsuki were- as this was very obvious- keeping their composure.
The mission was that there were some unsolved deaths in the civilian lands. Which were the lands far across the sea where the people were unaware of the ninja lands. Some people had ventured to the ninja lands. But most either stayed- pledged silence- or were just plain killed by rogue ninja. This was to be a mission where the entire Akatsuki(it wasn't allowed for the Akatsuki to split up) had to go under-cover, obtain residence and become citizens of the town that'd been having the murdering troubles. The people there thought it was animals. But the shinobi of Hidden Leaf could tell otherwise. And there had been so many other unexplained happenings over there, that the latest Go-Summit had decided that it was time they finally intervined.
Because of their ages. Tsunade gave them a scroll proposing their actions- the younger and younger-looking members(them being Deidara, Hidan, Itachi and Sasori.) would go to the Highschool. Pain, Konan and Tobi were instructed to choose between trying to pass as teenagers or not. And Tobi was likely to stay hidden anyway. No telling when the Madara personality might try and influence him to cause havoc. Finally, Kisame and Kakuzu were going to get jobs while Zetsu stayed watch to protect their residence. Which Tsunade had given them a jutsu scroll to make a house apper in the woods if need be.
But the conditions were steep for such as powerful as the Akatsuki. They would have to stretch as many lies as possible, hide their powers and ablilitys, and basicly act civilized and normal...
And S-ranked ninja's. No matter how skilled with espionage. Are always lacking when it comes to acting 'normal' (expecially when you're talking about people like the Akatsuki, where every member seems to be suffering from their own forms of pyschosis)
"We're honored that you're giving us such freedom Milady." Was what Itachi said after a few moments of awkward silence spent with nervous shaking and Tsunade wondering why the living hell did I listen to Naruto?
"So then you all will agree to the mission?"
A few members gulped. Hidan shook his head violently. And Pain swallowed all his knowladge of his unstable team members and looked up at her with attempted confidence. "Yes, Lady Tsunade. We will do our best."
Three minutes later. When they'd gotten their scrolls and made it outside the building. "How the HELL are we going to DO THIS?"
"Well Hidan, I think the best way to start is to tape your mouth shut." Kakuzu growled, trying to calm himself down so that his remaining hearts didn't give out. The reason they were so very jumpy about possibley failing the mission was that then their parole would become stricter and they would be downgraded to even worse and pointless work- or, if they failed it too badly. The parole system might just give out and they'll be imprisoned. Or if they don't get enough people on their side and Danzo tries to intervine. Death sentances for some of them could become inevitable.
Deidara leaned against a wall with arms crossed. "Just keep quiet and we all stay invisable. Right? Should be fine, hn." He said with some struggling breath.
"Actually, you're the one we're all most worried about not being able to Deidara. I want you to leave a mayjority of your clay at the house whenever we leave it." Deidara rolled his eyes and nodded. He was already made to wear gloves when leaving the base. Pain then turned to the other artist. "Sasori, we'll need you to leave most of your puppet scrolls with your Grandmother. Take only enough to need. And I don't want any of them to be the Third Kazekage."
Sasori nodds. But reluctaintly. "What do we do about Hidan? He'll insist he do rituals." Kakuzu asked.
"Ey! don't talk about me like I'm not he-"
"Hidan. Depending on how long we stay there. You will do one a month- regular rules apply. Forest wildlife only."
The Jashinist glares. And groans, "Shyea' whatever."
-Akatsuki Cave
Yes, they live in a cave. It has internet, a big-screen TV. And a food storage that Kakuzu doesn't tell them they have. Moving on.
Hidan was chugging the milk they had in the fridge while Kakuzu was packing all the money. Konan got little knic-knacks. Deidara was trying to stuff as much as possible into a single suitcase. Zetsu was eating the leftovers from last night. And Tobi still had that damned lollipop. How is he licking it through the mask anyway?
Itachi, was chatting on the phone with his brother. "Are you sure you'll be fine Sasuke?"
"Yeah. Orochimaru has a room for me, and Naruto isn't leaving me alone regardless." Even after finding out the truth about Itachi- Sasuke was still somewhat mentally scarred. One of the many reasons besides natural brother instinct for Itachi to worry about him.
"Well listen, I'll call you whenever I get the chance to."
"I know,"
"Are you not gonna let me pick on you anymore?"
"Hn,"
"Well meet me at the gate. We have to leave as soon as we're packed."
"Like Naruto'd let me miss out on that."
"I love you Sasuke~"
"Hn hm-liv-too." Itachi laughed after he hung up. He loves embarressing him.
"Well, I'm done." Kisame set his bag next to the hallway. "What are you packing Itachi?"
"I just got some clothes and photos." He murmured and looked around the room to the best extent his vision would allow. Kakuzu set his bag down next to Kisame's. Hidan's was full of- literal Jashin-crap. And Sasori had spent almost ages trying to decide what puppets to bring before putting two un-marked scrolls into his backpack.
Pain emerged with his tiny bag and Konan followed him. Then Deidara finally emerged from his own room, with a bag that was tied shut with five seperate belts. "Good lord Deidara. We'll probably only be there a week."
"So? I need what I need."
"God, is your entire Malibu Barbie collection in there or somethin?" Hidan chuckled. Deidara's eyes started to flare and he started towards the immortal...
Normally, a fight between these two includes Deidara blowing a part of Hidan off. And(if he's able to after the explosion) Hidan then chasing Deidara fruitlessly untill someone either grabs them or they reach Konoha and decide to stop for some Dango.
Pain grabbed Deidara's shoulder and put a hand over Hidan's mouth. "This is what can't happen. We will all be on our best behavior. Do you all understand this?"
"Yeees Gooood~~~" Deidara and Hidan chimed. Earning a sweatdrop from Pain. They then put aside their diffrences and went to the back of the gathering to chuckle over their favorite nickname.
"... Now, is there anything any one'd like to say?" He asked, brushing it off.
" I don't want to do this."
"You don't like doing anything Sasori. Just suck it up." He said bluntly.
"Not that I really want to. But we all need to buy new things to use and wear once we get there."
"We'll go on a late-night shopping trip first stop. Anything else?"
"Can we eat out too?" Konan asked. Pain sweatdropped. But then Hidan and Deidara cheered on.
"Find a popular place and go there to establish to the people that we're new in town."
"I don't wanna change my name."
"We don't have to. We can just say that we were all adopted by now-dead parents who were interested in exotic names."
"I don't see how 'weasel' is exotic, hn."
"Shut up Deidara." Pain took a deep breath. "Okay, now everyone set out."
-Konoha Gate.
"So, Naruto? I hear you're the gentlemen that suggested us?" Deidara cooed at the fellow blonde that was now looking very pale.
"Sasuke? are you sure you'll do fine?"
"I'm good Itachi, don't worry about it." Likewise, Sasuke worried about Itachi's physical health as much as Itachi his mental. The two Uchiha's shared(almost annoyingly) 'be safes' and 'take cares'
"You look like you've all got your barings." Tsunade commented to Konan.
The younger smiled looking out at all of them. "I'm still worried, we haven't had a real espionage mission in a while. All that soft stuff can make even the best rusty." She sighed, "But I guess I should just worry about keeping them from killing eachother for now."
Tsunade nodded. Keeping a subtle eye as everyone was settleing. Pain walked up to her and she handed him the teleportation scroll that would take them to the woods of the town. Tsunade absent-mindedly scoped the place before just then noticing something. "Where's Tobi?"
The Akatsuki had left the hundred-year-old evil genius sucking his lollipop on the couch back at base.
-Later
"But Deidara! Tobi promises that he'll be good this time!"
"No, no, no and no."
Now they were getting ready to leave. After retreiving Tobi and conviscating the candy.
"Sorry about that."
"Never mind it." Tsunade pulled the Team 7 that had come to see them off to the side. "Make sure you're all close so it takes all of you."
"Bye Sasuke,"
Sasuke just nodded, Naruto was the one that replied "BYE ITACHI!"
"I'm being instructed to check on you in a week. Behave so I don't have to stay and babysit." Kakashi joked with the fake sense of dread in his voice. Even Sakura waved off at Sasori as Pain took out the scroll.
"Oooh~ Wazzat do?" Tobi cooed annoyingly.
"Stay still Tobi!"
"You're yelling in my ear."
"I doubt that thing even leads anywhere!"
"STOP YELLING HIDAN!"
"Screw you!"
"Fight, fight, fight, fight."
"Boys-"
"Ugh,"
They all dissapeared in a big dramatic poof of smoke. Leaving Tsunade and Kakashi pale and nervous. Sasuke just pale. And Naruto trying not to laugh.
"Where are they going anyway Lady Tsunade?" Sakura asked. Even after seeing that scene the girl was somewhat nervously optimistic.
"Some small town with the hostile status of the Hot Spring village." She said, groaning, and still wondering why she'd listened to Naruto. "A rainy place called Forks, Washington."
-End Chapter-
TA-DA!
Weeee~ this'll be fun~
Oh, how I love the Akatsuki. And writing in a serious style in order to accent their craziness was just so~~~ entertaining.
How I love theeeeeeem~~~
Also, My sissy's taking a while to write the next chapter- YOU'LL BE WAITING FOR HER! She only has, like' two paragraphs... But me posting this should kick her into gear.
If you have any quesitons, just review them. And once again, I'm not sure what my sister'll write. But the couples I'm going for are (the obvious) CarEs. JasAli. EmmRosa. EdBellJac. Then, slight PaiKon, and possible Shonen-Ai jokes or fluff.
My sister will likely try and write explict Yaoi. But I will not let her- NEVER! If she wants yaoi in this, she can ship Jacob and Edward. But this isn't one of her smut stories~
But, the question right now is... What Team are YOU on?
Team Itachi, or Team Deidara!
THE ETERNAL STRUGGLE CONTINUES! (I think I just voted for Sasori XD)