A/N: Because I have the most delightful of ideas.
Mahora. Campus City. Educational facilities ranging kindergarten to university. The latest in learning material, the leading in overall student grades.
Oh, and the Library Island. Mustn't forget about that.
Or the delightful class of 2-A... or was it 3-A? Whatever. I said it was a delightful class.
On the beginning of the day known as October the 13th, which coincidentally, was also a Friday, a girl with blue (or was it purple? Whatever) and red eyes gave this yawn which was either cute or moe, depending on the audience. I should do a poll...
Okay, off-topic.
Miyazaki Nodoka woke up with a yawn, and cheerfully greeted the day.
On the outskirts of town, heavy boot feet crashed onto the soft grass turf, grins on faces, and guitars hanging off backs, and other terrifying instruments latched onto hands.
How these two seemingly unrelated topics come together to completely defy the universe, is thus, the topic, today, of our story.
Person With Many Aliases presents:
"Magic Metal"
A high-handed Companion Foray Into Insanity to "Fox Metal"
"Negima!?" and other related materials related to pimpin' ten year old brats, most likely property of Ken Akamatsu
Other characters probably property of Person With Many Aliases. Unless you know who they belong to.
Wow, this really not my usual style...
Class 3-A had gathered for homeroom on the last day before the weekend, enjoying the short moments of time to themselves before their iconic homeroom teacher arrived. all of them eagerly chatted up a storm about what sort of plans they hoped to abuse as much as possible for the 48 hours they were allowed. Most of them were probably going to the beach that Mahora somehow had, since Mahora probably had everything. Others wanted to go on shopping sprees in the malls in Mahora, since Mahora had everything.
Plus, there were others who had to do club practices, search for ever elusive Chupacabras, which in fact, did not make a home in Mahora, until I write another FF concerning OCs which are ones, practice magic, fly through space, get mechanical maintenance checks, take over the world, prey upon the blood of innocents and fail horribly at it-
"What? None of you guys are going to the concert?"
Everyone turned to look at Kazumi, who put up a front of casual indifference, as she reviewed photos she had taken over the month with her digital camera.
"What concert?" Konoko asked. Oh yes, I would try to have more characters from 2-A speak, but I honestly don't care about... two thirds of them. So Nyah.
"Anyone ever heard of Midnight Carnival?"
The two thirds I didn't mention suddenly exploded into excited chorus, which makes me sad that I won't be talking about them. This, I call divine justice.
Nodoka sorta looked about confused before attempting to speak.
"Um... what's this Midnight... Carnival?"
Nodoka was immediately verbally crucified.
"WHATOMIGUDYOUDUNTKNOWWHOMIDNIGHTCARNIVALAREOMIGUDWHATROCKYOUVEBEENLIVINGUNDERHONYACHAN!?" Berated the two thirds of the class which didn't really impact me, at various measures, so it sounded like a mass of spears that tried to fillet Nodoka's ears.
"...umm... no...?"
A unison of sighs. Nodoka was terribly sorry that she was unable to keep up with the popular trends that changes overnight. Everybody else terribly apologized, and after Ayaka managed to the get situation under control for "Negi-kun" who she failed to notice, had not yet arrived, Kazumi explained.
"They're a band-"
"They're not just a band! They're AWESOME SAUCE!" One of the classmates said, I'll say... uh... Makie, yeah.
"Makie!"
"Sorry..."
"Right. They're really popular band among these days, and they're constantly traveling and playing to anyone. People like to call them "The 21st century's modern bards", but the fact is they play pretty well, and I heard rumors they arrived this morning-"
"OMIGUDOMIGUDOMIGUD!"
"DANTE-SAMA!"
"BILLY!"
"I-NO'S HERE!"
Ayaka slamming on a desk. The blackboard carried various exclamations including, "A/N: Does this mean I am a bad writer or not since I'm putting an Author's Note here? Questions, questions...". After the class finally managed to quiet, Kazumi managed to complete her report.
"BUT! As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted... they'll only be practicing and composing for this week. Next Friday and Saturday is when they'll start performing."
"Oooh..."
Setsuna suddenly posed a very important question, "Then were you speaking of this while we were planning for the events of this weekend?"
"...Uh..."
Ayaka again, suddenly breaking in with genius ideas, "Of course, while everyone one of you will be happily frolicking about whatever activities you'll be doing for this weekend, I shall be asking Negi-kun to accompany I, the class representative, to the concert next week.
Mental screeches of stopped records.
It took Asuna a good five seconds to jump atop her desk, "THE HELL YOU ARE! YOU PEDO!"
"WHAT WAS THAT!?"
"Ah! I want to go to the concert with Negi, too!" Konoka decided to happily add to the raging fires.
"O-Ojou-sama! I cannot allow you to attend such barbaric conventions without protection-"
"I wanna go to the concert with Negi!"
"WE WANT TO GO WITH NEGI!"
"ME!
"ME!
"MEEEE!"
Somehow, it was only apparent to Mana, Zazie, and Evangeline (Who would one day in the far future, be empress of New Prussia, just to let you know), that concert tickets were a free-for-all matter anyways, so they could all just go with Negi. But we pay no heed to that while Civil War broke out again.
Negi Springfield stepped through the door, "Good morning everybody!"
Class 3-A grinned cheerfully in their proper seats, "Good morning Negi-sensei!"
"Wow, you guys are all properly seated already! That's a first!"
Asuna's grin started to hurt, "O-Of course... it's not like we never improve..."
Of course, the news of Midnight Carnival wasn't anything reserved only for 3-A only, since Paparazzi Kazumi and now Rumor Monger Haruna was in possession of the tasty musical treat. Hush whispers eagerly passed about, the news of the stage that was being set up in front of the World Tree.
Since Nodoka is the focus of the story, she therefore goes into a state of Angst in order for the audience to feel sympathy for her plight, while she moped on a bench. Her logic follows as such:
I... I really want to go to the concert with Negi-kun... but I don't really like loud sounds... plus, I wouldn't know what to say... what if I do something stupid at the concert? Then Negi might think I'm silly! Plus, I'm sure Negi would want to go with so many other people... like Konoe-san... or Kagurazaka... plus, Yue really likes him too, right? I don't want to get in her way...
So her bemoaning continued on, until she noticed that the sun was quite hot, and Nodoka decided to continue her bemoaning in the park, near the guest dorms, where the shadows were big and dark and perfect for more Angst sessions.
"Murder! Slash! Alright, that's good!"
Picks ripped into metal strings, Carnivalists shredding dark, gross riffs as they prepared for more practice. One of the musicians brought himself to the mic.
"MANY YEARS AGO, TODAY, SOMETHING GREW INSIDE OF YOUR MOTHER... THAT THING WAS YOU! YOU. YOU, YOU, YOU, YOU, DID SHE CRY? DID SHE SCREAM? ONLY THOSE THAT ARE BORN GET TO DIE-
"HOLD IT!"
Amps grated irritably. Suzumiya Haruhi tromped towards her other band members, obviously ticked off.
"Why do you guys want to play Death Metal for a school!? That stuff is nasty! It doesn't talk about anything totally cool at all! Just how to kill people! That's not cool! Totally not cool!"
Dante, son of Sparda, currently touring the world with his wicked guitar, sighed, "What do you want to play then? Your pretty, sparkly God Knows again?"
"It's a hundred times better than Birthday Dethday, and you know it!"
Dante grunted, "You know what? We've had this argument a hundred times. Fine, you can pick whatever songs you want this time..."
"Yes!"
"But I won't play for this concert, either."
With that, like a true whiny musician, for the sake of this story, please I apologize for any DMC fans, in my imagination I actually imagine Midnight Carnival meshing a helluva lot better, but due to ploticular reasons, Dante tromped off and spent the next majority of this fic moping inside the guest dorm.
Jeremy Colt, atop his drums, snorted, "Way go, genius. Just alienate the lead guitar, huh?"
"Can it, Colt."
Not long after, the half-manager, half-electronica synths, Person With Many Aliases came weeping out the front doors.
"Haruhi! Dante said he's not playing anymore for the concert! And he's hogging my PS2! Do something about it! I haven't even started playing Odin Sphere yet!"
Haruhi snuffed indignantly, "I'm not letting any Death Metal into the concert! For purity and inspiration of the student population that has come to hear my enlightening tunes, we totally need good old rock... or not as vulgar metal. Hmph."
"But that means we won't have any lead guitar! Dante's our only lead guitar!"
"Get Billy to second, and I'll lead."
Colt snorted, "One, Billy doesn't know any of YOUR songs, two, have you ever tried playing beyond rhythm? Being lead's an entirely different game."
"I'll learn it perfectly!"
"In one week?"
"Of course! How hard can it be?"
Colt sighed, took some aspirin for his chronic headaches, and turned to I-no, "Do that thing."
I-no ferociously played her winning pose solo from Guilty Gear. Haruhi's eyes bulged.
"H-How come you aren't the lead, then?"
I-no shrugged, "I don't like hard work. Men like softer bodies."
Haruhi glared while Midnight Carnival's drummer continued.
"So Haruhi, can you do tricks like that? Can you learn to do tricks like that in a week?"
"Uh..."
"I thought so."
"Fine! I'll get somebody from the campus to play!"
Colt slapped his face, "Haruhi, that's even stupider."
"Hey! Everyone here is a super genius or something, like me, right? Surely they can do something as simple as... whatever I-no did? Right?"
"Well in my opinion-"
"You're opinion's already been demoted to second-rate! I'm going to voluntarily arrest myself a lead guitarist! Colt! Person! With me!"
Colt's gaze flattened uninterestedly. "Hell no."
"Colt!"
"WHAT!?"
"Di-zz-y, Shrine..."
"...FINE!"
With that Colt marched after the smaller girl, while Person cheerfully followed behind, calling to Billy, asleep in his guitar, and I-no, who decided to take the pause to do a naked sun tan.
"Keep the engine warm, guys!"
To make the situation really, really, really succinct, this is the reason why, a few hours later, Nodoka, whilst in the wiles of sour dreams about how Negi would never see anything in a girl like her-
"EEP!"
...Like I was saying, while she was in the middle of her sour dreams, Nodoka found herself hanging upside down from a branch of a tree, a thick rope noosed about her ankle, while her hands were desperately trying to keep her short skirt defying gravity past her mid-thighs.
"Somebody... help...!" Nodoka only managed to squeak, given her shock over the situation.
"Nyah-HA! A big catch!"
Out of the brush work, Nodoka spied a threesome of fierce, horrible monsters. A short, crazed beast, dressed in army camouflage and wearing a battered helmet, adorned with face paint, and its face lecherously grinning. The second was stocky fellow, identified mainly by the bandanna mask with extremely long tails, he wore over his face, white eyes, and a psychotic grin. The third offset the two, arms folded from within a black trench coat and wide-brim fedora, glumly bleeding off the murderous intent.
"This is it guys! Get her!"
Nodoka shivered uncontrollably as the gloomy one approached slowly, as if playing with its pray, and when he came face to face, Nodoka was about to scream in complete horror-
"Boo."
Nodoka's world went black.
"...I'd say it's more of a blue color."
"Hell no. It's purple. Just a very blue purple. But it's purple."
"Well I think it's blue!"
"Purple."
"Blue!"
"Purple."
"Purple!"
"Purple."
"AGH! I fell for it!"
"Idiot."
"Dizzy Shrine!"
"YOU CAN'T BLACKMAIL ME FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS!"
Nodoka woke up to that angry holler.
"Ah-ha! So it means that it DOES exist, Colt!"
"...No it doesn't, Person, you idiot!"
"Then is her hair color blue or purple?"
"I... uh... er... PURPLE! ALWAYS WAS ALWAYS WILL BE!"
"Um... my hair color is blue..."
Everybody turned to the awakened girl. Colt snorted and turned his back, defeated.
Looking about her, Nodoka realized, due to the strong smell of varnish and paint, and the beautifully furnished environment, that she was in the guest dorms.
"I-I'm not... kidnapped... am I?" Nodoka attempted to say, though surrounded by a gaggle of heavy leather and curious faces put a damper on that.
"Not kidnapped, you've been... voluntarily arrested!" Haruhi offered.
"Which pretty much means the same thing." Colt retorted.
"Shut up!"
"Um... who are you guys?"
"Midnight Carnival."
"Oh..." Nodoka managed.
A few seconds past. Reality finally moved in.
"EEEEEEHHHH!?"
"Why is it that everybody does that?" I-no sighed. Person shrugged.
"B-but what do you people want from me...?"
Haruhi quickly answered, "You'll be our lead guitar for the concert? Got it? Good."
"Oh... WHAT DID YOU SAY!?"
"I thought you got it."
"B-but... but... but.. I don't play any instruments!"
Indeed. One of the reasons for Nodoka's low self-esteem was due to a incident in her childhood, concerning a recorder, herself, and "Hot Cross Buns".
Celebrating the new children's hospital, they had a kid come up to do a cute recitation.
Hot-Cross-Buns. Hot-Cross-Buns. Hot-Cross-OHMYFUGGINGODILLDESTROYYOUALL!
On the nine o'clock news, "Newly completely Children's Hospital collapses in a freak accident during opening ceremony. Hundreds killed."
Okay, the last part was a lie.
Regardless, Nodoka made sure not to touch anything that made noise ever again.
"Well, you're playing now!"
"B-But... I don't want to play..." Nodoka whimpered as she stood in the front lawn, surrounded by strewn amps and picks and guitars and Those Thingies You Step On To Change The Noise Of The Guitar.
A Gibson was thrown into her arms, which she helplessly caught.
"Play something!"
"But..."
"PLAY!"
Colt turned to I-no, "Five says she goes into a nervous breakdown."
"See you another five."
Person hollered, "Come on, Nodoka! Bring down the THUNDA!"
Haruhi ordered, "Play something before I... demote you or something!"
Nodoka, between the various calls, started seeing dots in her vision, eyes dilating, time slowing, breath getting louder, and her general shyness ordering her brain to freeze.
Then something inside of her awoke, with the feel of electric wires and wood in her hands, a power she never knew she had, suddenly unleashed.
"KYAAAH!" Nodoka pathetically cried out, slammed her eyes shut, and brought her fingers back and forth between the strings of the guitar, fully expecting everybody to laugh at her as she desecrated the instrument, and thus shutting her ears from the world, along with her eyes.
Eventually, her hands erupted in pain, and crying out, Nodoka realized she had been playing so hard, one of her fingers had been cut. How did that happen? She couldn't have been playing for much longer than a few minutes-
Nodoka choked as she saw the setting sun. Then she turned back to her audience.
Silence.
Nodoka then began to give a sigh of relief. At least now they realized she wasn't fit for playing-
"HOLY FUCKING SHIT! IT'S A DEMON GOD OF ROCK!" Colt suddenly screamed.
"HOW DID SHE MANAGE TO DO ALL THAT FOR SO LONG!?" I-no couldn't help but guffaw.
"THAT'S IT! YOU'RE OUR LEAD GUITAR!" Haruhi shouted happily.
"I LIKE PENGUINS!" Person also added.
Nodoka twittered, trying to find something to say, "...You do?!"
So while Haruhi was being kind enough to wrap up Nodoka's ring finger from the slight wound it had sustained, Person suddenly realized.
"Hey, she looks a lot like Hinata, don't she?"
I-no raised an eyebrow, "Who?"
"You know. Hinata? Last Dead's number one fan? Married it's lead guitarist and vocalist."
"Oh... Wait a fucking second- NARUTO DID WHAT!?"
"What, you didn't know? Didn't you go to the wedding?"
"She did," Colt bluntly put it, plopped on a couch and flipping through channels, "But she was so drunk off her ass she started hitting on some guy with fuzzy eyebrows. I now use the mental image to stay sober and win every drinking contest."
"Oh, fuck you, Colt!"
"No thank you, not from you."
"Wait, are you trying to tell me that she's THEIR kid or something?" Haruhi queried with a raised eyebrow before Colt and I-no decided to kill each other and thus force Haruhi to voluntarily arrest more people.
"I think it's more like descendant." Person explained.
"...Can someone tell me what's going on?" Nodoka tried to ask.
Everyone looked at each other, then looked at Person. He shrugged.
"Alright. Nodoka, was it?"
"...Yes?"
"Alright, here we go, your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-greatgreatgreat...great...great-great-great... I-no, how many?"
"Twenty-Six and a Half."
"Right. Nodoka, your great times twenty six and half grandfather, who married your great times twenty six and a half grandmother, was a hard rocking ninja demon god of rock. I-no trained him."
"...What!?"
"Nodoka, your great times twenty six and a half-"
I-no cut in, "Enough of that! Nodoka, I trained your ancestor to totally rock the FUCK OUT, and I think you got those genes, too! That's why you totally rocked the FUCK OUT an hour ago, and that's why you're going to totally rock the FUCK OUT at the concert next week."
"B-but I don't want to play! I'm not good at it!"
"Looks like she got a lot of the Hinata in her, too." Colt snorted from the side.
Haruhi grinned as she stood up and pushed up her sleeves, "Well, then Nodoka-chan, it's time to get some backbone, because it looks like you're in for a Suzumiya Haruhi SOS-Brigade Special All Week Crash Course in How To Be A Demon God Of Rock, 401!"
Nodoka eeped.
Saturday and Sunday:
"Smoke it."
"N-no! It's bad for me!"
"You wanna unleash the inner potential, smoke it!"
"NO! Let me out of here! I wanna quit!"
"No quitting the band! Colt! Get her!"
"NOOO!"
A few hours later, Nodoka, under a Deep Purple haze, was slamming out on her guitar. Not that she would remember any of it for Monday morning practice.
Monday:
It was time for 3-A homeroome. Nodoka hadn't arrived yet. Setsuna was on a high-horse, preaching to her Ojou-sama about the evils of metal.
"...because it's written by horribly fierce, evil, western demons, who wish to brainwash the population with their hideous lyrics, especially if they hid subliminal messages in the tracks that record backwards!"
"Really, Set-chan?"
"Of course! This music is named after steel, a device used for war! A kind, peaceable girl like you, Ojou-sama, has no need of violent sounds that sound like cats being thrown into pools of water!"
"So you won't go to the Midnight Carnival concert, no matter what?"
Setsuna nodded confidently, eyes shut, fingers rubbing her chin, "Of course! If I must maintain my stability of mind, body and soul, it is best to avoid such dangerous ideologies presented by this rock and roll, and the same goes to you, Ojou-sama."
"Well, still... I already bought tickets for the two of us, Set-chan..."
"You did!?"
"And I really want to go... don't you want to come with me?"
Setsuna deflated visibly, "I... ah... er... very well..."
Meanwhile, Yu muttered to herself, concerned, "Weird... Honya's never been this late before... I mean... even Asuna is here already-"
"What's that supposed to mean!?"
"I bet she probably got attacked by a chupacabra-aru!" Kuu Fei offered unhelpfully, Lao Shi mode on.
The Narutaki twins attached to each other, "REALLY!?"
"That may be a possibility-de gozaru." Kaede also unhelpfully offered.
The truth came out, when the doors slammed open, with a familiar nymph-like voice yelping "Sorry!"
Though the voice was familiar, what class 3-A was met with visually, was not familiar.
Nodoka's uniform was in place properly of course, though the girls weren't quire sure what to make of the addition of the MASSIVE, black leather, metal studded bracelets that had covered her wrists. Besides that, some ungodly thing was hanging off her back.
Ayaka was the first to vocalize this mysterious phenomena: "Miyazaki! What is that ungodly thing hanging off your back!"
Nodoka was instantly using the thick body of the device she was carrying as a shield for her face, "Sorry! It's a... um... what's it called again... Fender Telecasting Gibson Exploring Moderne...?"
Negi decided to make his presence known here.
"Morning class- MIYAZAKI!?"
"SORRY!"
"And everybody was looking at me weird! What if everybody thinks badly of me now?" Nodoka complained to her unlikely new comrades, who were slamming out various solos on their instruments, and somehow turning the whole thing into a whole song, whilst Haruhi and Person was furiously capturing all of it on paper.
"And EVERYBODY looked at me weird!/ What if everbody thinks badly of me NOW?" Haruhi recited as she scribbled down the lyrics.
Person whistled, "Wow. This stuff is great. Nodoka's sure takes to this stuff quickly. Maybe it's all the ready she does...?"
The girl in question, Fender Telecasting Gibson Exploring Moderne still hanging off her back, pouted and shouted for attention, "Everybody! Isn't anybody listening to me?"
"Who gives a damn if they think you're weird? If they don't like the idea they can't keep you in a box, they're not worth your notice!" Colt retorted.
"B-But... this is weird..."
"Whatever! Go someplace else if you want group therapy. You're here to jam!" I-no commanded, and pointed to an open amp, "Whatever you feel, tell me with your fingers! Now get to rocking the FUCK OUT!"
Nodoka sighed, and obediently trotted over to the amp.
Tuesday:
Everyone stared Nodoka down real good, wondering what it was that was different this time.
Haruna suddenly got it, "I know what it is! Honya's wearing fingerless gloves! And look at her hair, she's got something hanging off it!"
Everyone went "Ooh." while one of Nodoka's eyes twitched from under her large bangs, though this time in addition to the stainless steel, silver colored piece latched onto one tuft of hair.
Oh, and the gloves. Right.
"Am I some sort of freak!? I thought you dragged me into this to be the lead guitar! Not be some sort of... Metal fashion statement! I'm not going to look like you guys! Especially while playing in front of the whole school!"
"C'mon! Demon God of Rock, Honya!" Person cheered. The Coke in his hand probably explained why he was so happy.
"But I don't care about being a Demon Rock God!" Nodoka shouted back.
"But you're having fun right?" Haruhi asked.
"Well..."
"Well?"
"...I didn't think I was good at an instrument, before... so yeah..."
"Plus, who cool is it that you get to channel your true feelings through that thing in your hand?
"...Yeah..."
"So don't worry, Honya! You're totally in good hands right here!"
Nodoka firmed up, "...Right!"
Colt glumly stared at the mush, and decided to do something about it, "Hey, Haruhi. You said we were giving the librarian piercings tonight?"
Nodoka melted, "W-W-WHAT?!"
Wednesday:
Negi stared for a whole five minutes before words managed to reach his mouth to begin class.
It took the class a little longer than that.
Nodoka just closed her eyes and gave a sheepish grin, crosses and rings hanging off her ears at three different places each, big black boots wrapped onto her feet, and lots of leather peripherals hanging off her uniform.
And of course, the big Fender Telecasting Gibson Exploring Moderne that hanged off her back.
Thursday:
"Nodoka! What's all this about!?" Yue frantically asked, as she caught up with Nodoka's black leather back. It was the end of class as always, and with it, the girl always seemed to be running off somewhere.
"What, Yue?"
"You! What's happened to you? Ever since the Carnival's come to town, you've been changing! I'm worried for you..."
"Don't worry, Yue... it's been kinda weird week, myself personally... but I've found something good, and I like to do it so... I'll be fine, Yue."
"Nodoka... what are you doing?"
She smiled, "Learning how to totally rock out."
As for why this story suddenly turned into a tale of self-discovery half-way through, while Fox Metal turned into a Crack Fic halfway through, I have no clue. But enough of that, and we move to:
Friday:
Nodoka's guitar screamed.
Person conducted, with a little baton for some reason as well, "Murder!"
The guitar's voice changed pitch.
"Slash!"
The guitar changed direction.
"GUITAR HERO!
Heavy licking and riffing.
"MY SISTER'S DOG!"
"Which one?"
"The pirate one."
Strings barked and yipped. Person cried manly tears.
"Honya... you're ready for the show!"
"Oh... OH CRAP! THE SHOW?! I'M NOT READY FOR THAT!"
Somewhere in the deep dark of the guest dorms, a white-haired devil awoke.
"SOMEONE DARE TAKE MY ROLE AS LEAD GUITAR!?"
That night, all of Mahora gathered about the large stage situated in front of the World Tree. Thanks to Ayaka and her Oh-So-Richness, she managed to somehow bend the laws of nature, so that all of 3-A was right up in the front. Negi of course, was in the center of it all, and completely swamped by wimmens. Lucky bastard.
"Yue? You see Nodoka anywhere?" The child-teacher guilelessly questioned.
"No... I don't know where she could be. She completely disappeared after class. I don't know what's gotten into her..."
Chao hummed, "Come to think of it, she's been kinda funny this whole week, right?"
"Thank you, oh Master of the Obvious..." Chisame glowered.
Spotlights flashed on. Person With Many Aliases stepped onto stage, eliciting a wild reaction.
"YO! Everybody! Do I hear everyone Zettai Daijoubou!?"
The crowd went wild. Setsuna sighed and place her face in her hand, as she knew this concert was already a bad idea, what with crazy Canadians attempting Japanese, and failing horribly at it without even realizing.
"Ah-ha! Isn't this fun, Set-chan?" Konoko exclaimed, as she hugged her bodyguard from behind in excitement.
Setsuna immediately changed her declaration to "Best Night. EVAR."
Person With Many Aliases continued, "Guys and girls, I got good news and bad news. The bad news is that Dante won't be playing for us..."
A wave a murmuring and mournful breakdowns into tears by the fangirls. No lead guitar? Is the show going on? What's the good news?
"But the good news is, that we found a new lead guitar! And guess what? The talent was from one of you guys!"
Class 3-A had one single thought.
Oh, FUCK NO.
"Everybody! Warm applause to the Devil's Own Library! MIYAZAKI NODOKO!"
With the wild applause, Haruhi was dragging a wailing Nodoka onto stage, this time with everything else and a new pair of nose-pinching sunglasses.
Asuna choked, "They're going to make Honya lead guitar!? Since when did she play!?"
Yue was also beside herself, "They can't make her play! She can't learn that sort of stuff in a week! Everybody's going to laugh at her-"
Negi stopped her, "Wait... let's see what happens... something's different..."
Nodoka walked up to the mic hesitantly, "Ummm...Hi... this is my first time playing in front everybody... so... please be easy on me!"
Colt snorted from his drums, as he watched her bow deeply, "Oh fuck that, Honya! Blow their brains out! Haruhi! First Good-Bye! ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!"
And in front of a cheering crown, Nodoka belted out on her Fender Telecasting Gibson Exploring Moderne, while Haruhi screamed into her mic.
The back half of the crown went wild. The front half went wild and deaf. Class 3-A was just dumbfounded.
And the night wore on.
"Ummm... everybody... They said I could dedicate a song... so... uh... this is for... uh..."
Nodoka sweated long and hard at Negi. The others of Midnight Carnival got the connection and wondered what was going to happen. If it was going to happen.
"So... this is... this is... this is... this is for... thisisforallmyfriendsinclass3A!"
Everybody groaned.
Then the stage exploded next to Haruhi and Nodoka.
"The heck was that!?" Haruhi venomously growled at the new ruckus.
Negi suddenly felt something wrong, "This... evil energy!?"
Then Dante stepped out of the smoke.
Devil-Triggered, and very pissed.
"I HAVE RETUUUUURNED!"
"Fuuuuuu-uuuuck!" Nodoka and Haruhi said in unison, seeing nothing else really to say at what was about to happen.
"YES YOU ARE FUCKED!/ SHIT OUT OF LUCK!/ NOW I AM BACK AND MY COCK YOU WILL SUCK!/ THIS WORLD WILL BE MINE/ AND YOU'RE FIRST IN LINE!/ YOU STOLE MY LEAD ROLE AND NOW YOU MUST DIIIIE!"
With that, Dante pointed his deep purple electric guitar, Nevan and pointed it dangerously at the two girls.
Negi was horrified, "Nodoka! I gotta do something-"
Asuna's hands were already wrenching the boy back into the crowd before he could start bringing out his wand and whipping out spells in front of muggles.
"You idiot! You want to turn into an animal or something!?"
"But I have to do something-"
Nodoka's hand shot into the air, pointed at the large demon Dante. Something had awakened. Something she didn't know she had inherited, but being from a line fathered by a Demon God of Rock, and with her honor being threatened by another Demon God of Rock, but the words suddenly came out of her mouth.
"Waaaiiiiit!/ Waiiiiiit!/ Waaaaait, you motherfucker!"
Everyone stopped. Most of them at Nodoka's new vocabulary.
"We challenge you to a rock-off!/ Give us one chance to rock your socks off!"
Dante was silent for one millisecond before thundering, each time making the crowd shiver.
"FUCK!/ FUCK!/ FUUUUUUCK, THE DEMON CODE PREVENTS ME/ FROM DECLINING A ROCK OFF CHALLENGE!/ WHAT, ARE YOUR TERMS/ WHAT'S THE CA-AH-TCH?"
Haruhi picked it up from here, "If we win/ You must take/ Your sorry ass back to he-ell./ And also you will have to pay our rent!"
"AND WHAT IF I WIN?"
"Then you can take Negi back to hell-"
Nodoka jerked her head in shock, along with everybody else in 3-A ,"...What!?"
"Trust me, it's the only way..."
"What the fuck you talking about-"
"-To be your little bitch."
"FINE! LET THE ROCK OFF BEGIN!"
A burst of flame that blinded everyone. As the light cleared, Dante was slamming out beats on Colt's drums, whom he had kicked off.
"I'M THE DEVIL/ I LOVE METAL!"
Another burst of flame. Dante was back on stage, clutching his guitar, Nevan.
"CHECK THIS RIFF/ IT'S FUCKIN' TASTY!"
Nevan screeched and screamed, awing the crowds.
"I'M THE DEVIL, I CAN DO WHAT I WANT/ WHATEVER I'VE GOT I'M GONNA FLAUNT!/ THERE'S NEVER BEEN A ROCK OFF I'VE EVER LOST!/ I CAN'T WAIT TO TAKE NEGI BACK TO HELL/ GONNA COOK HIM INSIDE HIS CELL!/ I'LL MAKE HIM SQUEAL LIKE THE SCARLET PIMPERNEL!"
"NOOOOO!"
Haruhi interrupted the song, and then faced a very white Nodoka.
"Come one, Honya! Bring the THUNDA!"
"There's just no way we can win/ That was a masterpiece..."
"Listen to me-"
"He rocks too hard because he's not a mortal man."
"God damnit! He's going to take Negi away/ Make him slave for days-"
"No!"
"-Unless we bust a massive monster mama-jam!"
The crowd was silent as they heard Nodoka's reply.
"Dude, we've been through so much shit-"
"Deactivated lasers with my... wait, that doesn't work..."
Despite Haruhi's problem with rhyme, they both decided to pull out their guitars and sing in unison.
"Now it's time to blow this fucker DOWN!"
Nodoka's guitar began to sing.
"C'mon Nodoka it's time to blow doors down-"
"-I hear you, Haruhi, now it's time to blow doors down!"
"Light up the stage/ 'Cause it's time for a showdown!"
"We'll bend you over and then take you to down town!"
"NOW-WE'VE-GOT-TO-BLOW-THIS-FUCKER DOWN!"
"He's gonna get Negi if we do not blow doors down!"
"C'mon Honya!/ 'Cause it's time to blow doors down!"
"Oooh, and who will pile-drive ya/ It's time for the smack down!"
Haruhi shot a finger at Dante.
"Hey Anti-Christer!/ Beelzeboss!/ We know your weakness/ Our rocket-sauce!/ We rock the Casbah/ and blow your mind!/ We will defeat you/ for all mankind!/ You hold the scepter/ we hold the key!/ You are the devil/ we are the... C!"
Nodoka and Haruhi jammed on their guitars, together, in unison singing.
"We are the C/ We are the C/ We are the C/ We are the C/ We are the/ We are the C-"
It broke out into a fast jam, "We are the C" screaming out the entire way, while Haruhi broke into a dance.
"-WE ARE THE C!"
Dante had only one thing to say.
"YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING LAME! C'MON NEGI, YOU'RE COMING WITH ME!"
Nodoka's world went in slow motion, while Dante pointed his guitar at Negi.
"TASTE SOME LIGHTNING, FUCKER!"
"NOOO!"
Bravely jumping into the way, Nodoka took the bolt of lightning.
What nobody expected, except for Tenacious D fans, was that the bolt rebounded off the body of the Fender Telecasting Gibson Exploring Moderne, the lighting smacking a horn off the Devil-Triggered Dante's head.
"OW! FUCK! MY FUCKING HORN!"
It landed by Haruhi, who immediately knew what to do, and picked it up and pointed it at Dante.
"OH NO!"
"From whence you came, you shall remain, until you are... COMPLETE AGAIN!"
"NOOOOOOOO!"
Dante began to sink into the ground, and all the way he screamed.
"FUCK YOU NODOKA! AND FUCK YOU HARUHI! I'LL GET YOU, TENACIOUS D...!"
As soon as he disappeared, Colt could only say this.
"But... that's not the name of the band... oh fuck this, my head hurts."
And everybody clamored about Nodoka, saying how cool she was, and how awesome the show was.
"I didn't know you played so well!"
"Omigud! You played with Midnight Carnival!
"Can I have your autograph!?"
And so on, until she met up with her classmates.
Awkward silence until it was masterfully handled by Ayaka, as usual.
"A somewhat unusual performance, but an enjoyable one nonetheless..."
"Are you kidding me!?" Konoka argued, "It was brilliant! I have to go see the Saturday show as well!"
All the others quickly agreed to change their weekend plans to make way for Nodoka's weekend gig. She nervously laughed at all the attention.
Then she came face to face with Negi and...
...and...
...and...
"What the hell? Are you going to finish the story or not?" Colt grumbled as he looked over Person's shoulder at the laptop.
"But... I don't know how to end it! It's gotta be perfect!"
"Oh whatever I'm outta here!"
With that, Colt tromped to the backside of the private jet, while Haruhi took his place.
"Person..."
"Yeh, Haruhi?"
"You think we forgot to do something?"
"...Oh yeah! I almost forgot!"
Evangeline threw her cloak onto the nearest chair before flopping onto the bed. "Leave me be, Chachamaru. I wish to be alone."
"Did you enjoy the show tonight?"
"It was a gaudy display of pyrotechnics and poor singing. Human work, as usual."
"Yes. Master."
With that, Chachamaru left the vampire to her own thoughts, which slowly began to drift into sleep, of days when she fought fiercely with and against That Man.
"Thousand Master-"
"NOW-WE'VE-GOT-TO-BLOW-THIS-FUCKER DOWN!"
Evangeline's eyes shot open in horror.
"He's gonna get Negi if we do not blow doors down!"
"C'mon Honya!/ 'Cause it's time to blow doors down!"
"Oooh, and who will pile-drive ya/ It's time for the smack down!"
Hey Anti-Christer!/ Beelzeboss!/ We know your weakness/ Our rocket-sauce!/ We rock the Casbah/ and blow your mind!/ We will defeat you/ for all mankind!/ You hold the scepter/ we hold the key!/ You are the devil/ we are the... C!"
And Nodoka and Haruhi's voices together sung in union:
"We are the C/ We are the C/ We are the C/ We are the C/ We are the/ We are the C-"
Evangeline screamed bloody murder.
END
A/N: I had to do it. I'll probably end up doing Angel Metal some time as well.