What am I to you? - Chapter 1
It was 9 pm but you were in your bed trying to sleep because you had a hard day at work. You were also trying to forget what happened last week, but that didn't seem to work. Your mind was occupied with the image of him and how he was playing with you and your mind. How he didn't seem to care that you were really hurt by his actions.
The only thing you wore was a long grey hoodie and black leggings. Suddenly you felt something tickling your thigh but didn't want to look, you just wanted to ignore everything. It didn't seem to work because suddenly you felt a hand touching your ankle lightly. Now you were fully awake, and opening your eyes you saw Yoongi. He was right next to you, smirking when he saw you all flustered. His eyes pierced right through you, making you shiver.
Then you felt his hand going up from your thighs to your panties trying to apply pressure, his eyes still making you uncomfortable. His tail was now wrapped around your wrist and his ears risen from the black locks.
"Yoongi, stop…!" you said as you felt his long fingers thrusting into you, his other hand covering your mouth so that you couldn't whine. You felt so weak and vulnerable around him. From the first day you had him in your house, it seemed like you were not home. Most of his time was spent in the living room, so you tried to avoid it like it was mined land. Three months. Three fucking months you two shared the house. A few incidents in the first few days. That was all. Everything got heated up after two weeks when you were a little drunk but to your luck, the only thing you did was to just get his t-shirt off. After that, nothing happened. Not anymore. Everything was okay. At least since last week. From then, your whole body hurt, you felt dizzy and you had a hard time to be near him, more than usual. You couldn't call it anything but rape. He didn't stop when you told him that maybe it was not a good idea, because the hell, you are 18 and he didn't stop neither when you begged him to because it hurt too much. He didn't found out how much you cried in the bathtub, even falling asleep in there, having to call to cancel your whole week from work.
You woke up to reality to feel his tongue on your inner thighs, sliding it ll the way to your core, now nuzzling his nose to your clit, thing that made you moan. He started to lick your folds, his fingers deeply in the flesh of your hips, surely living bruises. Your breath was uneven and your moans made him smirk. You were close to your orgasm, and he noticed this, fastening his pace. After that, you were just happy it was over, you thought that he will leave you alone. You tried to stay away from home all week and got there after midnight, when he was usually sleeping. Your fucking bad luck that you were tired and wanted to just sleep after a rough day.
You really thought it was over, but he started to work with his tongue again at a more faster pace while his hands were wondering on your entire body. The second orgasm. He didn't stop there, making you squirm under him, moaning so loud, trying to push him away. The third one, and the fourth one. Your efforts worked because he stopped, licking you clean, looking now right in your full of anger eyes.
Opposed to your expectations, he didn't stop you when he saw you were heading to the bathroom, and you were happy he didn't. The water started pouring over your naked body, trying to hold back your tears, thinking if it would a good idea to just kick him out. Would that be too tough? You always bought him things like rings and bracelets or clothes, always were checking to see if he had milk, always buying him sushi or fish in general. At one point, you though that maybe you like him. But not anymore. You didn't want to be his toy and that frustrated you more than you could say.
After you exited the bathroom, he pushed you against the wall, removing a strand of your hair below your ear, looking in your eyes. Something was different. He always looked at you as if he was bored. Or just smirking. Now he seemed sad. And that annoyed you. Why the hell would HE be sad when he took advantage of you. It was not like he was way older than you, with like seven years, and didn't hesitate to make a move on you.
"Get out of my house", you said calmly, looking away from his eyes.
"W-what?… ", his eyes got bigger, holding your chin with his fingers, wanting you to be looking at him. " Yoongi…"
"Yoongi nothing, just get out, Yoongi", you were so angry you didn't even realize you just yelled at him, avoiding to stay near him. When he heard his name said with so much hate, a tear ran down his cheek, but you didn't care. "Don't you dare to cry or I am going to hit you" you said a took a step closer to him. He flinched, acting like he was scared.
"Okay, I know I screwed up, b-but I have g-good reason. I-i just panicked. I did-", yeah that sure was making sense. Why the fuck would he be panicking?
"A good reason you say. I don't think it is a good reason for you to literally rape and take advantage of a clearly younger girl". You then started to scream and tell him everything, about the pain, that you slept in the bathtub and every reason you felt miserable about and why you were afraid of him.
"I never told you what happened to me, I never told why I am l like this" And then you snapped. You just didn't want to listen to him anymore.
"Get out. Now" Everything happened in slow motion. You opened the door for him to finally leave, both of you crying, taking small steps, looking at you, hoping you will listen to him. But you had enough, closing the door, leaning against it, crying harder.
You then got up, going straight to bed. You wanted to just sleep and forget. But for two hours all you did was tossing and turning. Finally you fell asleep but after four hours, at 4 am you hear a knocking on the door. It was raining like hell so you decided to not wake up, because that weather helped you sleep. Another knock, and then another. You were annoyed so you went to the door and the thing you saw when you opened it was the guy you kicked out, in his pajamas, all wet, looking at you, still crying, his little cat years hiding in the black locks of his hair.
"I just want you to listen to me. And if you don't think this is a reason good enough for all of this, you can kick me out. For good. Just listen"
You let him in, inviting him to sit on the couch, while you excused yourself to go upstairs. You wanted to bring him some new clothes and a glass of milk. He thanked you with the most beautiful and shy gummy smile of his, and when he got back after changing his clothes, he started to drink his milk while you just sited next to him on the couch.
After a few minutes you saw he started to sob. You were still a little scared to hug him or something like that so you just started to lightly rub his back, whispering slowly that he can start when he felt ready. His tail got around your wrist, but that didn't make you mad. He sighed and closing his eyes, melting in your touch, started to talk.
"So, um… I… Never met my parents and I was on the streets all my life. That until I turned 18. A family adopted me and they had a daughter that was 13 at that time. I was so happy that someone wanted me and I was happy to be part of something. But then-"
He stopped, a tear running down his cheeks, his words stuck in his throat, wanting to cry harder.
"After one month or so, I needed a favor from her. A small one. And she had a condition. Something I couldn't agree. I though she was kidding, she was so young I couldn't take her serious. But then she dragged me into her room and started to undress me"
"Wait. Did she rape you?…"
"Kind of. I mean yeah. And it didn't happen once. It was like this for a few years. Anytime she just wanted to take advantage of me she did it. I just couldn't say no"
Your eyes got bigger with every second and you just couldn't stay quiet.
"Maybe that's a stupid question, but why didn't you tell anybody, like her parents?"
"How could I?" He laughed bitterly. "They wouldn't believe me. And she threatened me. If I tried to tell her parents this, she would told them I was raping her. And I would've end up in the streets again"
His last words were shouted and his voice cracked between tears.
You put his head in your lap and started to play with his hair, thing that calmed him a little bit. You saw him so broken, so vulnerable.
"You can stop if you want" Your voice was cracky as well.
"No. I want you to know all of this" He took a deep breath and then he closed his eyes after he gave you a soft smile. "When she turned 18 she finally got a boyfriend. I was so happy, I thought it was over, but I was so wrong. She used to tell him that I rape her. He was coming over very often and everytime it happened, I got beaten up. Every fucking day"
"When I was slightly drunk and I took your shirt off, I saw scars on your hip. Did they do this to you? Please say no"
He opened his eyes, got up and took his T-shirt off, showing his scars not just on the hip but also on the shoulder. Scars that were really visible and clearly made by something that burnt him.
"They used to extinguish cigarettes on my skin and burn me with coals. Actually, he did this. Only him, cause he really though that I rape her. She was just watching and smiling when I was screaming"
Your eyes started to water and without noticing it you bursted in tears. That made him softer than he already was and put you in his embrace.
"Anyway… Um… I finally said something. Of course they didn't believe me and kicked me out. I was on the streets again until some dude pitied me but couldn't afford to keep me so he sent me to the shop your friend got me from. If you still want to kick me out, I really understand. It's not an excuse for what I did. I just… Couldn't let another younger girl to do that. So I did it before you to do it. I should have known that you wouldn't do that. But I still was unsure of your intentions so I kept going. That until I realized I like you- Fuck"
Since when your face was in the crook of his neck, you raised your sight to look him in the eyes to be sure you heard right. You kind of liked him too, but after what he did, you weren't so sure. However, his story changed your perspective.
"We can talk about this tomorrow. Can we sleep now? I have work in like 4 hours" You said scrunching your nose, starting to play in his hair. After a few minutes of silence, you felt him startle when he heard a powerful thunder and the room lightened like it was day. "Are you afraid of thunderstorms?"
He didn't answer and instead he nuzzled his nose on your chest, his tail wrapping around your ankle and his little cat ears were hidden behind the black locks.
"Can-… can I sleep with you tonight? I swear I won't do anything. I just… I hate this weather"
You didn't answer but you took his hand in yours and led him to your bedroom, inviting him to sit on the bed while you were looking for your pair of headphones. You gave it to him and he looked kind of confused. You explained that it will stop him from hearing the thunders, and he smiled softly while still breathing heavilly. You could clearly see and feel his level of stress, and the storm was not the only reason.
After you changed into something comfortable for sleeping, you layed in bed, your back facing him, giving him the possibility to hug you from behind. His hand roamed around your stomach area not wanting to be disturbing, and you could clearly feel his hot breath against your back.
You couldn't sleep, which was going to be a tough thing in the morning, but you were happy when you could hear his little snore, sign he fell asleep.
When you saw him like this, totally vulnerable and fragile, your heart ached. You wanted to forgive him, you wanted to tell him that you truly understand what happened and that's okay. You wanted to tell him that you understood his reason for being like this. For taking his revenge because he was scared. However, after work and after you would talk, everything would change, and you were okay with that thought.