I was running. I moved so fast that the forest became a blur around me; I was a silver streak within it. I ran without direction, thinking of nothing but pushing myself faster, farther. Small animals darted out of my way, larger ones crossed my path, but I ignored them. I continued running, with no end in sight. Running was all I could do; it was my only escape. I wanted privacy, as I knew I'd need to be able to think in peace eventually, but I was too deep in the forest to risk changing now. So on I went, concentrating on nothing but sheer velocity.

And suddenly, I collapsed. Or maybe it wasn't suddenly, but I'd lost track of time. But I fell to the forest floor, gasping for breath, and instinctively knew I wouldn't be able to pick myself up right then no matter how hard I tried. I drew in ragged breaths, trying to make sense of it all. I hoped, with what little bit of me was left to hope, that the rest of the pack was in human form or asleep. Or that I was far enough away that the mind link had been broken. I hadn't heard them, but since I hadn't been listening that didn't mean much.

But it didn't matter; I couldn't keep these thoughts from my mind any longer. The pain crushed me deeper into the dirt, and had I been human I would have found myself in a lake of tears. As it was I continued gasping for breath, hyperventilating, and unable to do anything to help myself.

Jacob's imprinting. Dealing with vampires. I could handle that. It wasn't fun, but life being unpleasant wasn't exactly new for me. I accepted the awful smell; I had made peace with the fact that the one person I knew who finally understood me was no longer in my situation. Sure, he still understood, but it just wasn't the same when he couldn't relate anymore. Not that he and I had ever been close, but we were still bonded in a way – it had been nice.

Then the real torture – Sam and Emily's wedding. I knew it would be tough, as it was the last place on earth I wanted to be. But there I was, smiling through the suffering as I walked down the aisle to be a bridesmaid. At least Sam was happy. If he couldn't be happy with me, I guess it was the next best thing. It certainly didn't make things any easier for me to accept, but it made it one degree less miserable.

All that I could handle. I was expecting it. But not Seth's imprinting. Not seeing my baby brother find his soulmate while I was still alone. Not watching my mother fall in love with Charlie Swan. Not knowing that I was a freak, that I was beyond loveable, and that I was destined to live longer than any normal human in my solitude. Not that.

It was too much to bear. I couldn't believe the crushing weight of the pain hadn't killed me already. My heart hadn't crumbled, and my brain was clearly still functioning as I had all my senses. I had no escape. Even death evaded me, as none of the Cullens were going to break the treaty and I healed too fast and was too strong for anything else to work. Did everything have to go wrong for me? Clearly it did, but why? Why me? What did I ever do to the universe?

I had no answers, no brilliant insight as to how to fix my problems. I just lay in the forest, struggled to get my breathing under control, and waited for sleep or death to take me.