Blame

by Klada

Something has Jace broken apart beyond belief. So much that he has begun to see things, and the Lightwoods can't help him. Only Jace can help himself, but what if he's not willing?

1. Cry

My heart hurts.

Something's burning inside of me, a quiver.. a shake. This is worse than any battle wound, any Mark. This pain is worse than anything I've ever felt before because… I had to for the first time, admit I did something wrong. Admit that my foolish pride is to blame. Admittance is something that has never come easy to me.

It's my broken pride and sprit, as well as another thing that I won't even begin to mention to myself that has me curled up on the cold tiled bathroom floor of the Institute. The shaking thought that everything that happened last week is my fault forces me to notice that the pain I feel is not because of the stab wound in my side that is still healing.

It's because I'm trying too hard to not cry.

"My fault."

Those words break my pride even more, until I have nothing. I realize as well something else. I have nothing else left to lose.

For some reason, after that thought echoes around the walls of my mind… I lean into the bleach white basin of the toilet to throw up.