July 11, 2011

1:13 pm

Interstate 84, Oregon/Idaho border

Chapter 1: Road Trip

Seth Clearwater POV

Life was strange. I mean, my life was always strange by normal people's standards: shifting into a giant wolf to fight the enemies of my people; telepathic links to my pack mates and my sister. Yeah, I guess that qualified as really strange. But today, things just seemed even stranger.

Last Friday, I got a call from the self-styled "Prince of Seattle" telling me that he had a situation that he might need my specific help with. That was strange to me, since this guy's never contacted any of my pack mates directly, except Jacob, and that was an extreme emergency. And then Sunday night, he called me back and told me he needs me to go to Arizona, because the shifter pack down there has a medical problem, but they absolutely will not allow vampires on their territory, so that rules out him, Edward, or Carlisle. And then this morning, he drops on me that Kyle is coming, too. That's the weirdest, because since Kyle's come back us, he never does anything or goes anywhere. But right now, he was driving a Cullen Volvo with me riding shotgun.

I mean, it wasn't totally weird, given that Kyle had actually finished medical school and I'm just a part-time EMT. But he never talks about it, and I only know this because I teased it out of Jared. Sam's pack didn't like to talk about this guy, and I suspected they were under some kind of alpha order regarding the topic. And Kyle wasn't saying anything either. Of course, he'd only been back a few months, so maybe he'd open up. However, we had already been driving for hours and there had not been one word from him.

"Uhh, what kind of music do you like to listen to?" I asked, reaching for the radio.

"This is fine," he stated flatly. Not rude, but definitely icy.

So much for that icebreaker. But I was pretty sure I'd go absolutely insane if the whole trip was like this. I decided to just go for it. It was silly to be intimidated by a guy who was one hundred thirty pounds soaking wet.

"Sooooo...why did you agree to come, again? I mean, you don't even go on patrol or anything. You come to meetings at the Cullens' house but look like you can't wait for them to end."

"That's my concern, not yours."

"Seriously, dude? There's no reason to be a dick about it."

"I'm not trying to be a dick. I just don't like to discuss my… condition or anything related to it."

Oh, man. He always calls it a "condition". Like it was a fucking disease or something. He never brought up even trying to help out on patrols or anything of the sort. Leah hated him for it, calling him a huge coward. Come to think of it, I had not seen him once in his wolf form. Sighing, I pressed on."Well, it would be nice to have some clue about what's going on here."

"I don't know any more than you, I assure you. It's a medical-related problem, and the Navaho shifters will not [E1] tolerate the presence of vampires."

"Yeah, but we don't get medical-related issues!"

"I have no idea, nor do I have any way to offer any conjecture. I completely lack Carlisle's expertise in supernatural medicine."

"So why did you agree to this trip? The old fossil in Seattle got a cure for you or something?" Back to that again.

"There is no cure," he snapped. The look on his face conveyed a certain level of experience with that topic. "It's still none of your business, but I can tell that you certainly live up to your reputation and will probably never shut up unless I spill something."

I grinned. I was used to people complaining about my talkative nature. "You betcha!"

He finally diverted his gaze from the road just a bit to glance sideways at me. "Wilhelm, our illustrious Prince of Seattle, claims he can get me information about my lycanthropic strain, but only if I do him this favor."

"Dude, he won't just tell you? That's bullshit!"

Kyle's lip curled up into a rare smile. "I can see you're picking up speech habits from your sister. No, he won't just tell me. He claims that the Cullens have been too indulgent with me, and that I need to earn this myself."

"Can you blame the Cullens?"

"What I did, I would have done for anyone, I suppose. The fact that Bella's mother was involved was just chance. Given the results, I think I was very lucky and consider that incident to be the extent that I should be involved in any of this."

"Is that why you don't really participate in patrols or anything?"

"Seth, it's my policy to phase only when I'm forced to by lunar cycle. It minimizes the chances of infecting others. Besides, given my size and strength, or lack thereof, what exactly do you expect me to do? Not to mention the lack of telepathic link with any other wolves. Not that I miss that."

"I still think there's something more you can do." I let the telepathic link comment go. The expression on his face had not been pleasant when he had gotten to that part.

"Of course you do, Seth. You're the eternal optimist. I, on the other hand, have had reality shown to me. Often in very painful ways."

"Want to talk about that? I saw what happened through Jake's link."

"No, not really. You already know what you need to know about that."

"Dude, you survived being eviscerated. Literally. You should be proud. Or cocky. Or something."

A pained look took over his face, and the icy tone returned. "That's enough for now. I don't speak of it. Ever."

It was too much to hope for, getting him to dish on that. I really wanted to know exactly what had happened when he'd first started phasing and what he had been doing for the last five years. He was totally maladjusted to his "condition". And the "Florida Incident" —as Wilhelm called it— was key, I was sure. But this was a start. And I had all the way to Arizona to wear him down. What was he gonna do? Beat me up like Jake often threatened?

Well, I found out the hard way what he would do. And that was: to not talk to me until we stopped in Salt Lake City after my demands for some food that wasn't from a gas station.

I tried my best to be upbeat. "Where do you want to eat?"

"I don't care. I'll find something at whatever place you want to eat."

I was really hungry, so I picked some buffet-style joint. After we paid, I quickly went about loading up my plate. I went to look for Kyle, and he had selected a booth far off in the corner. I sat down with him and was surprised by the small amount of food on his plate.

"That's all you're going to have?" I asked, gesturing at his plate of mostly green stuff.

"After being overweight before all this happened, I'm a bit wary of overeating. That's all. You're just used to your pack brothers."

"Well, you're rail thin now. I don't think you're in any danger of being overweight any time soon. You sure that's all you want?"

"Yes, now drop it!" he hissed sharply.

Wowza. I was now a bit on edge from his confrontational attitude. This was going from bad to worse. I think I preferred it better back in the car with silence. But just as I was lamenting my bad fortune of being stuck on a road trip with this guy, something changed in his demeanor. He stopped eating and put his head down in his hands. His whole body seemed to sink down a couple of inches in the booth seat and seem smaller than it already was.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. It was barely loud enough for my wolfy hearing. He continued, this time a bit louder. "You and Jake have been among the kindest to me since my return. It's very stupid and ungrateful of me to treat you like this." He raised his head to look at me. "I really despise this existence, and I don't know what to do."

Holy mood swings, Batman. I just stared at him for what seemed like ten minutes but was probably more like thirty seconds. "Uhhhh, it's okay?"

I had no idea what to say to this guy. I was extremely uncomfortable with this sort of thing; Jake was much better at it. One of the reasons he was a great Alpha.

I blurted out the most obvious thing ever. "Umm, what exactly do you hate? And have you talked to Jake about this? Or Edward?" I glanced around to make sure no one was close enough to overhear any of this conversation.

"I'm trying very hard to not be a burden, so no, I don't pester Jake with my problems. What is he going to do, anyway? Or anyone else for that matter?" Bitterness dripped off his words, but so did resignation. All pretense of attitude was gone. Defeat remained.

"And as for the Cullens, I avoid our cold friends. I think you know why. And as far as Edward goes, I don't want him in my head for his own sake. I don't hate their kind, especially not the Cullens. I just want to keep my distance."

Yeah. I could see where a guy having his guts torn out by one might have that effect. Jake had bounced back from the time he saved Leah from that newborn, but Jake was a real badass.

He continued, "I hate the nightmares. I hate the slow, painful transformations. I hate having to eat meat. I hate having to live on the fringes of human society. I hate… " He trailed off, looking away.

The meat thing seemed kinda weird. But he didn't finish. I was more curious about what he didn't want to say. "What else? You should come clean to someone."

"I hate, or rather, I'm just envious of shifters like yourself. No painful transformations. No forced lunar transformations. Insta-awesome body. My time as a shifter sucked, but even then, I really never was one. It was a fucked up situation. But I can't keep up with you guys, nor can I fight like you, even if I wanted to. So I just stay out of the way. And try not to be a burden." His eye seemed to twitch a little at that point, and he reached up to his eye. "Oh, and I hate contacts, too."

I was pretty overwhelmed by his confession. So I focused on the obvious again. "You wear contacts? Don't you have perfect wolf eyesight at least?"

He seemed almost glad that I didn't address his other points. "Yeah, I do. But they're not corrective. I have them because, since I started phasing, my eyes are actually solid black. No irises. No pupils. Just black." He glanced around and lowered his voice. "Even the vampires can get away with their yellow-almond eyes. Just another awesome side effect."

Upon this revelation, I realized just how little I knew about a guy who had been coming to our pack meetings for months. I also realized just how used I was to the telepathic bond eliminating secrets with my pack brothers. "Do you have any idea why your eyes are black?" After I said it, I felt a bit stupid for asking something he likely didn't know the answer to. Probably not a good idea with someone obviously insecure.

"Well, it probably has to do with how my vision works."

"What do you mean, how it works?"

"It was something I really struggled with when I first truly became what I am. I can see into the far infrared and far ultra-violet spectrums. I've got extra muscles in my eyes to control which spectrum I'm seeing in, along with the usual focusing muscles. It took a while to learn to control them. It was very frustrating. But I don't smell too well by wolf standards, and when I hunt on new moons, my wolf uses mostly sight and sound to hunt."

"Well, that sounds… useful." I was trying hard to be encouraging here.

"I guess. Maybe. Seems like kind of a hassle to me. I'm still not used to the contacts."

I considered him for a moment. Something didn't quite add up. Wait a second… "Haven't you had to wear those for years, now?" It just came from my train of thought.

"Not… exactly," he admitted, lowering his head and looking away again. "I've only been phasing for a few months now. In fact, only three months before the Florida incident."

That was impossible. He had run away five years ago. "How long did it take for this lycanthropy stuff to kick in over your shifterness?" Was that even a word?

"It's kind of a long story. We've got to get back on the road soon, you need to start eating, as I know how much you guys eat. Let's just say, I can tell you that there is no real cure for my condition. And that I was able to avoid phasing for all those years, but the price was high. And all I did was put off adaptation, evidently." He finished up the last of his food.

I had a lot of food to eat, but I wasn't quite done yet. "It's not a 'condition'; it's who you are. Try to remember that. And one more thing, please: were you telling the truth about why you agreed to come with me? I'd kind of like to know, since we're in this together." I felt I had a right to know.

"Yes, I wouldn't lie to you about that. Without a telepathic link, I feel it would be a horrible violation of trust. That's one of the reason I'm silent so much: I'm so tempted to lie. But to clarify, I've met other lycanthropes. They saved my life; another long story. But they didn't recognize my strain. The Cullens don't recognize it. The Denali clan doesn't recognize it. Even Wilhelm didn't know at first. However, he came into new information, but will only tell me if I do this for him."

I digested that for a second. I tried to imagine being a werewolf without having a pack there to tell me the rules. Yeah, that would suck. "Well, don't worry. I'm sure between the two of us, we'll get this cleared up in no time!"

"Yeah, I hope so, Seth. Sorry for being an asshole earlier."

"It's okay! I just hope you feel better soon!"

"I'm not sure how that's going to happen exactly, but I appreciate it. I have a feeling that the others are not as understanding. At any rate, better eat up."

I finished eating, and we were back on the road within ten minutes, this time with me driving. There was another long stretch of silence on the way to Arizona, but without the hostile body language. He seemed to be really lost in thought. Even though I had a ton of questions, I left him alone, figuring that he was probably done for a while after the buffet conversation.

Hopefully, Arizona would yield some answers. Like what the hell was going on with our Navaho brothers.