Hello, everyone! So, I'm writing two different fics right now, but I'm kinda bored, and in the middle of writig them, so I figured, why not write some cotton candy while I'm at it. So, FUCK IT. HERE IT IS.
DISCLAIMER: ANDREW HUSSIE IS A HEARTLESS DEMON WHO OWNS THIS AND PLAYS WITH MY EMOTIONS. THAT IS ALL.
!
Jane: Get wasted.
You don't have to get wasted, for you already are. You've gone through a couple of bottles of vodka, foregoing a martini glass in favor of just drinking straight out o the bottle.
Oh well. You were out of olives anyway.
You're currently in your room, drowning your sorrows in alcohol. Your sister Rose is downstairs. She comes up every so often to check in on you, though it's mostly because if she leaves you alone for to long you tend to break things in your room in a drunken rampage. The pile of rubble that was once your computer can attest to that.
Anyways, the tears finally stopped coming, leaving dried black trails down your face. Your black lipstick is smudged and blotchy, most of it on the mouth of the bottles surrounding you. You're laying in bed, saring up at the ceiling, giggling every so often at nothing.
You take another sip, relishing the feeling of the burning liquid travelling down your throat. Because physical pain is much easier to deal with.
You suppose that you should probably get the makeup off of your face, and have a decent night's rest.
You stumble into the bathroom, astounded that you can even stand, and grab some makeup remover.
"Roxy? You there?" Rose's voice drifted through your bedroom door.
"Heeeeeeeeey, siiis. I'm in her. *Hurr. *Here heh." You say, leaning against the door. Rose comes in, followed closely by her girlfriend, Kanaya. You felt bad about interrupting their datenight, but that was back when you were still sober, and now, you give zero fucks.
"Roxy. Let me help you with that." Rose says gently, taking the makeup remover and holding you upright, signaling for Kanaya to bring a chair. She sits you down, and slowly removes the dried makeup from your face, as Kanaya leaves the room. She blocks most of your view, but you can see the red rims around your eyes clearly now.
You look like shit. And you can't really make yourself care.
Once she gets all of your makeup off, she leads you gently back to your bed, you leaning heavily on her for support, stumbling slightly.
She lays you onto the bed, and tucks you in, planting a kiss on your forehead. Kanaya comes back in, leaving a tall glass of water and some painkillers on your nightstand. Rose takes her by the hand, and she in turn kisses your sister's head, wrapping an arm around her and leading her out of the room.
Roxy: Remember what happened.
You'd rather not.
Roxy: Do it anyways.
No. You just wanna go to sleep.
I don't give a fuck. Remember what happened.
FINE. Gosh. Your subconcious is an asshole.
FLASHBACK
"Heeeeeey, bffsie!" You say, hopping out of your pink convertible. Jane is waiting for you on her front steps, and she hugs you tightly. For this particular trip, you'd decided to stay sober, just this once, for her.
"Roxy! I haven't seen you all Summer!" She says, burying her face in your neck. You feel the familiar pang of longing in your heart. It was Summer, obviously, and you two were going into your Senior year. You had been best friends since the first grade, and you first realized you loved her in a not-so-friendly way.
"I'm sorry, Jane. I've been a bit busy." You reply, closing your violet eyes and biting your lip, feeling guilt momentarily wash over you.
The truth is that you'd gotten tired of hearing Jane talk about a boy by the name of Jake English. He transferred from England (go figure) during your Freshman year, and Jane immediately became wrapped around his finger.
You couldn't really fault him, though. The boy's quite oblivious to other people's feelings.
Anyways, he had recently gotten out of a relationship with your cousin Dirk, and it felt like every time you talked to Jane recently, he was always the topic you two discussed.
Jane broke away from you, and you immediately plastered a smile onto your face.
"C'mon. Let's go inside. It's sweltering." You say, fanning yourself. She giggles, and to you, it sounds angelic.
!
You two hang out around her house, baking cupcakes and munching on them happily. Her father is away on a business trip, and both of you are revelling in the alone time.
You finish your cupcakes, and are currently chatting, making idle coversation.
And then, the subject takes a turn. A rather ENGLISH turn.
"So I saw this program on guns that I think Jake would really enjoy." She says, starig dreamily at the ceiling.
Oh God, you think to yourself, it starts.
"Really? Was it any good? My sister is looking for a bit of protection around the house." You lie, trying desperately to change the subject.
"Oh, no. I don't understand what half of what they were saying was. Hmmm..." She thinks for a moment, then suddenly sits up, looking at you excitedly.
"That could be an icebreaker! I could ask him about guns! He always seems to like them, and I'd certainly love to listen to that accent of his." She starts, and you groan interally.
"Hey! Do you wanna play Problem Sleuth?" You ask suddely, hoping her favorite game will entice her away from her rambling.
She lights up. "Are you sure? I mean, it is sort of a childish game." She says, blushing and looking away.
You cup her cheek, smiling comfortingly.
"Positive. Now, go get your totes adorbs mustache and bowtie." You say, pushing her off the bed.
!
"And you say your scarf was in your car the last time you saw it?" She asks, deepening her voice to sound more masculine. You just think it's adorable, and suppress the urge to giggle.
You put on a Southern Belle persona.
"Well, I had put in in the back seat of my car, and thought nothin' of it. Lord have mercy, it IS hot outside." You say, fanning yourself.
She nods solumnly, taking notes on her little notepad.
"Do you know of anyone who could possibly want your lovely scarf?" She asks, twirling her mustache.
"My no good Sister-in-Law has always had an eye on my scarf. I do declare, she's quite the minx, bless her heart." You say, giggling.
"Very well, madame. I will find your beloved scarf!" she says, rushing off.
You smile. You know she will. You hadn't really hidden it well. But you had hatched aplan for it, and it would require her finding it, and quickly, so you didn't lose your nerve.
!
"Miss Sally Peaches! I've found your scarf!" She says a short while later, running down the stairs, scarf in one hand, and magnifying glass in the other.
You grin wide. "Thank you, Mr. Sleuth! I was so worried!" You say as Jane passes it to you.
You cuddle it to your chest, then look at her.
"But, how will I ever repay you?" You ask, sauntering closer.
She appears confused, and slightly flustered, not expecting what comes next.
Before she can protest, you grab both ends of the scarf, throw it around her, pulling her close and crushing your lips against hers.
She hesitates against you, and you drop the scarf, wrapping your arms around her waist, softening the kiss.
Slowly, she responds, dropping the magnifying glass on the carpet and tangling her fingers in your hair. You run your tongue along her lower lip, and she opens her mouth, granting you access. You immediately seek hers out, and the two battle for dominance.
You walk her backwards, the back of her knees hitting the arm of the couch. You lay her down gently, not breaking the kiss.
Her hands untangle themselves from your hair, moving down to your shoulders. You, in turn, take your hands off of her waist, bringing them up to rest on either side of her, to ensure you aren't crushing her.
Eventually, the need for oxygen becomes too great, and you break the kiss, placing your foreheads against one another and breathing deeply.
"I'm sorry. I just. I-I've loved you for as long as I can remember. I've wanted to do that for so long." You say.
She doesn't respond, and you roll off of her, resting next to her on the couch.
"You're drunk, aren't you Roxy?" She asks, looking at you.
You almost say no. That you've truly loved her more than anything for years. But then you realize, it isn't a question. It's a way out.
Because she doesn't want you like you want her. She wants Jake.
Even though you can feel your heart shatter inside of your ribcage, you plaster a smile onto your face.
"Sorry, Janey. I should goo, er, go." You say, trying to mimic your usual drunk self.
"Wait, Roxy-" Was all Jane could get out before you hop up quickly from the couch, grab your scarf from the floor, and run out of the house. You can hear her following you, and you open the door, slamming it shut, and rush to your car. You get it started and back out of the driveway just as she gets to the front door.
By this point, tears are rolling down your cheeks, making it kind of hard to see. You two share a moment of eye contact, and then you speed off.
!
You get to your house, seeing Kanaya's black Mustang in the driveway and parking next to it.
You open the door clumsily and see Rose on the couch, on top of Kanaya, a shitty Nic Cage movie playing in the background. They're making out, and you'd totes make fun of them, accept you were in that position not too long ago, and that just reminds you more of how you were basically rejected, and it makes you sob a little more.
The sob breaks them out of their bliss, and sparks Rose's sisterly instincts, and she's of of Kanaya in a flash, cradling you close and letting you sob into her shirt.
"Didn't go so well, I take it." She states, and you shake your head into her chest. Kanaya stands next to you two, not knowing what to do. You feel Rose flash her an apologetic look, and Kanaya nods knowingly, going back into the living room and giving you two privacy.
Eventually, you stop sobbing enough to choke out what happened, and she rubs your hair sympathetically.
You apologize for ruining Rose's date night, and escape upstairs before she can say anything.
!
When you arrive upstairs, you toss your phone, which had been blowing up with texts from Dirk and Jane, onto your desk. You go to your computer, hoping to forget what happened by writing wizard fanfiction, and see that Jane had been pestering you..
gutsyGumshoe {GG} began pestering tipsyGnostalgic {TG}
GG: Roxy?
GG: Did you get home okay?
GG: Roxy? Please answer me.
GG: Roxy! You're starting to worry me.
GG: Please don't tell me you're drinnking yourself to death.
That pissed you off, and you decided, fuck it.. You pull a few bottles out from under your bed, crack a vodka bottle, and take a long swig. You then take out your frustrations on your poor defenseless computer.
FLASHBACK ENDS
Though you'll never admit it, you cried yourself to sleep that night.
!
The next day, you wake up to a hangover.
You wince, feeling tiny midgets smacking your head with a sledgehammer. You look to the water and pills Kanaya left for you, and quickly take them. Because those midgets are assholes.
Pretty soon, you're feeling better again, and walk down the stairs, wanting to apologize to Rose for being an ass. Before you leave your room, you grab a bottle of vodka, half full, resolving to throw it away when you get downstairs.
Instead, you find Jane in the doorway of your house, arguing with Rose. You sit down on the bottom step, listening in.
"Can I just talk to her?" Jane asks, trying to reason with Rose.
She is having none of it, her sisterly instincts going into overdrive.
"Haven't you already done enough? Because Roxy came in last night crying. I don't want you around her if that's gonna be what happens." She replied, leaning against the doorway to prevent entry.
"I know! And I'm sorry. I just want to talk to her."
Rose sighed. " I'm sorry, but I don't think that's a good idea."
You jump up from your seat, stumbling towards the door, a plan in the works.
You sling an arm around Rose.
"Rose! We hev, have, company! Don't be so ruuuude." You say, gesturing towards Jane with the bottle in your hand, taking a swig out of it. Rose is currently glaring daggers at Jane, who's looking at the ground.
Before Rose could say anything, you'd grabbed Jane's hand, pulling her into the house and upstairs, headed for your bedroom.
!
"Sorry about the mess." You state, throwing bottle into a pile of empty ones.
She winces at the mess, knowing that she inadverdently made you like you are right now, or rather, like you were last night.
"So what's up, BFFsie?" You ask, a little venom seeping into your voice as you flop down onto your bed.
She sighs, sitting down next to you, and takes great interest in her hands.
You prop your head up onto your arm, studying her face with your violet eyes.
She really is beautiful.
You push those thoughts aside, and scoff, rolling onto your back. You know you're being a bitch, but Jane could've at least had the decency to reject you. And quite fankly, you were sick of her writing off everything you do as "being drunk".
"So, your mom looks a lot younger than I expected." Jane starts. You remember that she'd never really seen Rose, since she often had to do tours for her book.
"She isn't my mother. She's my sister." You say, not moving from your position.
"Oh, come on, Roxy. Would you stop with that? I've just met your mother. She isn't dead."
You get off of the bed, and pace back and forth, trying to calm yourself down. Then you say, fuck it, she deserves it.
Roxy: Explode.
You explode.
"First of all, that is not my mother. Get that through your head, Crocker. Second of all, do you know how much it hurts? Do you know how miserable it is for your 'BFFsie' to doubt you, when you tell her that your mother is dead? Do you know how badly it hurts to sit there and listen to the person you've been in love with to talk about some asshole like he's the bee's FUCKING knees?" You growl, getting in her face.
Your voice gets softer as you pull back, walking across the room, your back turned to her.
"Do you know how many nights I've cried myself to sleep over you? Or how many nights Rose has had to stay in here to make sure I don't drown myself in alcohol?"
You steel yourself, turning towards her. She looks so broken right now, still looking into her lap, tears silently streaming down her face. You want to comfort her, but you can't. You still have so much to say. You grab the vodka bottle you'd thrown previously, sitting on the desk that used to house your computer. You take a long swing before continuing.
"Because I do. When it comes to unrequited love, you can call me the motherfuckin' queen. All those years, I've wanted somebody who's unnattainable, and I've had to listen to them talk constantly about how amazing some guy is, and how she hopes he'll come riding in on a white horse like a knight in shining armor, busting down doors, guns blazing, and save her? All the while, wanting to be that knight?"
Another swig.
"Because it fucking sucks. Your heart breaks a little everyday, and you try to glue it back together every night, only for it to break twice as much the next day. But you can't let anyone know, because she's your best friend, and you'd just ruin the friendship. So you plaster on a smile, even though it kills you inside, and you drink constantly, because you didn't need a functioning liver anyways."
Another swig. And a small, rueful laugh escapes your mouth.
"But you decide one day, fuck it, I'm gonna let her know how I feel, because maybe she feels the same, and I just haven't read the signals yet. So you kiss her. And everything's going awesomely. Then she accuses you of being drunk, even though you were sober just for her. So you roll with it, and get out of there as fast as possible."
You finish the bottle, feeling slightly tipsy, but otherwise fine. You walk over to where Jane is sitting.
"So you decide, you aren't gonna get drunk. No. You're just gonna calm down, sur the internet, write a bit, maybe. Then you see that she expected you to 'drink yourself to death' and you decide that if she wants drunk, she'll get drunk. So you get absolutely plastered, and numb the pain in the process. Because she didn't even have the decency to turn you down. "
You're standing right in front of her, your arms crossed, staring down at her with a blank look.
"And you know what the worst part is, Jane? I still love you more than anything." You laugh at yourself, putting your head in your hands, and feel wet tracks on your cheeks. You wipe them away quickly, before speaking again.
"It's like, my brain is telling my that you're no good for me, and I should just move on with my life, but my heart is telling me that I can't. Because I only have eyes for you."
You stand there some more, arms once again crossed. The room is silent, save for the occasional sniffle from Jane.
Eventually, she stops crying, and looks up at you. Her eyes are red rimmed, and she looks so fragile, but damn if she isn't the most beautiful thing you've ever laid eyes on.
You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose.
"So what were you here for, Jane? To see if I was okay? Because I'm just fuckin' peachy. Or maybe to give me the whole 'I don't swing that way' speech? Because I defina-"
Your cut off by a soft pair of lips.
You immediately respond, your arms snaking around Jane's waist as hers wrap around your shoulders. You immediately relax. She tastes of cupcakes with a hint of toothpaste, something you wouldn't normally think goes together, but fits perfectly.
Your heart feels whole for the first time in years, because she loves y-
You break the kiss, your eyes wide. You step away from her, immediately missing the warmth, but you need to know if she isn't just pitying you.
"What. What was that?" You ask.
She looks at you for a moment, smiling slightly.
"After you left, I thought long and hard about what you meant to me. I realized that I elt the same way you feel right now. When Jake came, I obsessed over him, trying to forget my feelings for you, and hoping that if I wanted to want him hard enough, it'd happen. But I couldn't. And when we kissed yesterday, it felt so right, so...perfect, that I thought it was too good to be true, and that you'd just regret it the second we stopped."
She reluctantly grabbed your hands, waiting for you to snatch them away. When you didn't, she went on.
"So I gave you a way out. A reason to let me down easy, so that we'd still be friends. But I knew it was the wrong thing to say as soon as you started to leave. I just wanted you to be happy, even if it wasn't with me. So, I came here to try and fix things."
You've started crying again, not realizing it until she gently wiped your eyes with her thumbs, cupping your face. She gently guides your lips to hers, giving you time to pull away. You push forward, wrapping your arms around her waist. You both back up towards the bed, laying her down on it, and look into her sky blue eyes.
"I love you." You tell her cupping her face with a hand.
"I love you, too." She says back, kissing your hand.
And you know then, she loves you like you love her.
You kiss her once more, your tongue gaining entry to her mouth, the hand that isn't on her face snaking up her skirt to cup her ass.
She lets out a giggle, and you decide that it's the most beautiful thing you've ever heard. You guide her up the bed, and rest her head against the pillows.
You flop down next to her, and she cuddles up next to you, resting her head in the crook of your neck. You smile, kissing the top of her head, and wrapping an arm around her.
You both drift off to sleep, a happy sleep, for the first time in years.
Roxy: Be happy.
You don't need to be told twice.
!
So, that's it. I was gonna do some smut, and you can kinda tell, but I dunno. I feel like I need express permission to do that. So, it's goin' under completed, but I'd be happy to add somethin' in if you want it. I dunno. Anywho, have a wonderful day, and leave a review, if you want!
-Z