Trials of the Heart- Part One: Old Friends
Introduction: To some of you, this may seem familiar. That's because I've already posted it once. But after letting it set here at ff.n for awhile, I've decided to rework it a bit, edit it, and make the chapters shorter. Of course, nothing from Star Wars is mine, not even the simply loverly Qui-Gon Jinn. However, anything else, such as Jaydn, belongs to me. Read, enjoy, and of course, review! Reviews make the world go 'round, after all.
Chapter One: In the Beginning
* * *
The burning glare of the double suns bounced off the desert sands, scorching the girl's bare arms and legs, which were already dark from the suns' abuse. She stood stoically, keeping her head raised proudly and facing away from her master as the thick, braided whip was raised in the air.
A second later, she felt the familiar rip of pain scream across her back. She winced, but bit her tongue so that she wouldn't cry out. She was too strong for that. She wouldn't submit to the pain. But as the whip cracked down again and again, her legs buckled and she collapsed, falling to the ground. Still, she would not cry, even when a heavy, booted foot kicked her in the shins. "Get up, Slave!"
She looked up into the cruel, ugly face of her Vinnian master, Que-Kay. The folded-over tips of his ears were twitching, as they always did when he was upset or excited. She could never tell if he was angry or happy when he beat her. It was hard to tell.
His deep-set green eyes, which contrasted sharply with his pasty skin, glared out at her from beneath heavy lids. She slowly got to her feet. "My name," she managed to say in her clear, sure voice, "is Jaydn."
He laughed at her. "You have no name, girl. You're an orphan, you don't even know who your parents were." He grinned wickedly, showing his sparse, flat teeth. "You've been a slave all your life, and you'll never be anything more."
There it was. The statement that summarized each slave's destiny- to always be a slave. She stared at him defiantly, then spit on the ground at his feet. "Yes I will!"
He snarled angrily, snapping his whip out once more. It curled around her legs and he pulled it back, bringing her back down onto her back into the dust, which was where she belonged in his opinion. "Sure, you may be bantha fodder, if you're lucky." He recoiled his whip, placing it at his waist. "Get out of here, girl, I don't want you in my sight any more today. And you'd better not be late tomorrow, if you value your hide."
She hurried towards the slave's quarters, to the small pathetic hut that Que-Kay had given her when he bought her. For many nights after she first arrived, she'd stayed up working to patch the holes in the walls and roof, clean the entire building, and make it seem like... home. It was a strange idea, because she had never really known what home was. She was a slave, bought, sold, and worked like an animal. That was the way it had always been, and probably always would be. She would never have a true home since Que-Kay would most likely sell her as soon as someone offered enough credits for her. He hated the sight of her, as he did all humans, but he would keep her as long as he knew he could get a higher price. That was the way it had always been, for as long as she could remember.
Jaydn's parents had been killed on slavers' raid on in her home village, while trying to escape. She had only been an infant. The slavers had taken her, and for the first month or so, no one thought she would live. Not that anyone cared. She was a baby, and no one would pay money for a baby. But she did live, despite all expectations, and when she was four, she was sold for the first time.
Of course, she didn't know any of this. She barely remembered her first master. His name had been Mikal, and he had been the one to name her. Before that, she had been called Slave. Mikal had been her kindest owner, but he had a weakness for gambling, and he lost her to a slimy Hutt after barely two years. Five years later, Que-Kay had bought her.
Now she was seventeen and had spent six years working in the Vinnian's store and being beaten weekly. She was small and thin, with wavy black hair that, when loose, fell just past her shoulders. She wore the typical slaves' clothes, a heavy, rough cloth tunic that was cut off above her knees and worn-out sandals. With them, she kicked at a rock, sending it skittering down the road. She hated her life. There was only one person in the entire galaxy who could ever make her feel better. And that was...
"Qui-Gon!" Her entire face brightened as she saw the young Jedi running down the path towards her. He reached her and scooped her up in his arms, enveloping her in a mass of robes. She wrapped her arms around his neck and breathed in his musky scent, holding on like she would never let go.
He kissed her cheek. "Jaydn..." He set her back down on the ground and looked her over. "Gods, you've grown!" he exclaimed, reaching out to muss her multiple braids.
She smiled, though the gestured would normally have annoyed her. "So have you." Qui-Gon Jinn had been off world for almost a year with his Master. He was training to be a Jedi Knight and was not, she thought with slight bitterness, a slave. His dark hair was cropped short, save for a thin braid that hung down the right side of his face. He had beautiful blue eyes that sparkled when he smiled, which he often did. He was now eighteen, and had grown a lot in the past year. He had also lost all traces of baby fat and was lean and muscular. Jaydn wondered how she must look to him.
He hugged her again, and she winced as he touched her newly inflicted wounds. Sensing her pain, he looked down into her eyes. "Did he hurt you?"
She avoided his gaze. "It's not bad."
"Jade..." With a hand, he brought her face back up towards his and was about to say something. But he saw in her eyes the pain that she felt and knew better. So he smiled and instead said, "I missed you."
"Missed you too." Her hand found his and she squeezed it, looking up to the sky. The suns were rapidly setting, and she needed to get home. "See you tomorrow morning?" She had already forgotten Que-Kay's warning about being late.
He grinned. "Of course." Qui-Gon walked her the rest of the way home, then hurried back to the house he and his master shared.
Jaydn sat down on her cot, reaching down to rub her leg, where a dark welt was forming. She cursed softly in Huttese. She had picked up many languages throughout her seventeen years, between three masters and now working in the store. You had to know at least twenty languages to get by.
After doing her best to wash the cuts on her back, she dressed in a ragged robe and knelt next to her bed. Reaching under a mattress, she pulled out a small leather bag. In it were the only treasures she had in this world. A blaster, a crystal given to her by a sympathetic humanoid couple, and a handful of credits. For the past several years, she'd been sneaking out at night to work for other merchants under a false name and the pretense that she wasn't a slave. In this way she'd made sparse money, enough to buy a few things. The rest she saved.
Tonight, she counted the credits, as she did so often. She sighed. There wasn't enough. There would never be enough. But enough for what? She would never be able to buy her freedom. It was forbidden for a slave to buy his or her own freedom. But maybe she could give it to Qui-Gon, and he could set her free... she allowed her mind to follow this happy thought until she cut herself off. No... it would never happen. Que-Kay would rather kill her than have her free. And she wouldn't be surprised if he did kill her eventually.
She put the things back and climbed underneath the thin sheet. She needed to wake before the sun rose to meet Qui-Gon. In a few minutes, she fell into a deep sleep, dreaming once more of the parents she had never known.
Jaydn woke automatically the next morning and dressed, tucking her blaster out of sight. Then she ran out to where she and Qui-Gon would meet on the edge of town. There she waited, perched on a large rock. She stared up at the still starry sky until she heard his footsteps approaching. "Sorry I'm late," he apologized. "Master wouldn't let me leave."
She grinned at him, just happy to be able to see him again after all this time. "It's okay." She hopped off the rock, glanced at him, and took off running, calling behind her, "Race you to Dark Canyon!"
He didn't even pause to protest, but quickly followed. Soon, they were neck and neck at a dead run across the desert, each determined to beat the other. Jaydn's face was a mirror image of Qui-Gon's, taunt and beaded with sweat. She ran barefoot, her feet tough and brown, whereas the boy wore his boots. Slowly, she began to pull ahead, and finally skidded to a stop, tagging the boulder barely a second before Qui-Gon. "Beat you."
He sighed. "Again." Flopping down on the edge of the cliff, he let his feet hang over. Jaydn joined him, already catching her breath. She pulled out her blaster.
"Bet you I can hit that womprat on the far side."
He grinned, knowing full well that she could. "Naw. I don't want to make you feel bad if you don't."
She smiled back at him, knowing the routine. "You're just saying that because you can't hit anything."
"Oh yeah? Then let's see you hit it." She aimed quickly and fired before the womprat even had a chance to flinch. Qui-Gon laughed. Jaydn was one of the best shots he'd ever seen. She could shoot the braid from his head and not even nick him, if she wanted. He didn't know how she did it, but she was good.
They spent the next half-hour picking out targets for each other, competing to see who was the best. Jaydn seemed to never miss. Qui-Gon was good, but not as good. He knew that the times that Jaydn actually missed, she was only doing it so that he wouldn't feel as bad. The thought made him feel worse.
After they'd finished, they sat leaning against the stone wall of the canyon. Jaydn looked up at him. "Did you think about me when you were gone?"
"All the time." He grinned.
"Seriously, Qui-Gon."
He put his arm around her, pulling her closer to him. "I am serious." He sighed. "Jade... I missed you a lot. I wouldn't lie to you about that... or about anything. While I was gone, all I wanted was to come back and see you again." She smiled, resting her head against his shoulder. To her surprise, Qui-Gon leaned over and kissed her tenderly on her forehead. There was a long silence as he looked down at her. Then he voiced what he had been keeping inside for so long. "I think... I think I'm in love with you, Jade."
Her breath caught in her chest, and for a moment, she couldn't breathe, think, or move. What he had said was impossible. She was a slave, he was a Jedi... Were Jedi even supposed to fall in love? Somehow, she didn't think so. "Qui-Gon..."
He pressed a finger to her lips. "Shh... don't say anything." He stood abruptly, nervously fingering something in his utility belt.
She got up and moved to stand by him. "What's that?"
He pulled out a slender metal rod, fashioned with a black handgrip and a small red button on the side. "My lightsaber. Every Jedi has one, and it's tradition for a Padawan to make their own. I made it while I was gone." He held it out to her. "You can try it."
Her eyes were wide as she took the weapon in her hands. This was his lightsaber... he'd told her how important they were to a Jedi. She looked up at him. "Are you sure?"
He nodded. He would trust her with anything. Something deep inside him knew that he could trust her. She ran her fingers along the smooth metal for a moment, then stepped back and pressed the button. Instantly, a deep green blade shot out the end, crackling with energy. She closed her eyes, feeling the power course through her body. Then she shut it off and handed it back to him. "Done?"
She nodded. "Yeah. I..." her voice trailed off. The simple experience of holding the lightsaber had filled her with a strange sense of sorrow.
"What?"
"I wish I could... do what you do."
He pulled her small frame close, hugging her. "I know, Jade... I wish you could too." He sighed. "One day... you're going to do great things. I can feel it."
"I hope you're right." Suddenly she pulled back and looked up. The sun had already risen. "Oh no, I'm late, Kay's going to kill me!" Without waiting for Qui-Gon, she grabbed her blaster and ran off as fast as she could. But it wasn't fast enough to beat the quickly rising sun, which signaled the impending beating she would receive.
She raced through the crowded streets, tucking her blaster safely inside her belt and under her tunic. When she came to a stop in front of Que-Kay's shop, he was waiting for her, hand on his whip. There would be no chance for excuses.
She almost turned and ran, but knew it would only be worse for her if she did. Almost crumbling under his glare, she slowly walked towards him. He grabbed her arm roughly, dragging her out behind the store. He called for another slave to watch the shop. As she was thrown to the ground, she covered her head, hearing the wicked crack of the whip.
"Ungrateful wretch!" The leather bit into her back, and she couldn't keep the tears back. "All I've done for you, give you a place to live, a job, enough money to buy food, and I get nothing back. I should kill you, it would do me more good." The whip cracked down over and over, cruelly punctuating his words, until he finally stopped, leaving her to lie on the ground, bloody and broken.
The alien strode inside the store just as Qui-Gon ran up to him. The storeowner scowled. "Your girlfriend's out back, if she's still alive."
Qui-Gon glared at him, resisting the urge to give in to his anger. The phrase that his master had told him countless times ran through his head. "A Jedi shall not know anger. Nor hatred." He conveniently left out the last part of that phrase- Nor love.
He ran past Qui-Kay to the back of the store, stopping dead in his tracks when he saw her. He had never seen her, or anyone, like this. He had been shielded against these acts of cruelty for eighteen years. Of course, he knew they happened, as evidenced by Jaydn's pain that he both felt and saw, but he had never seen this part of it... he shook his head, kneeling by her side. "Jaydn?" She was sobbing and reached out to him, needing him more than she had ever needed him before.
He gathered her in his arms. "Gods, I'm so sorry. It's all my fault..." She didn't answer him at first as she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his robe.
Finally her voice came to him, trembling and weak. "Take me home, Qui-Gon."
END CHAPTER ONE
Introduction: To some of you, this may seem familiar. That's because I've already posted it once. But after letting it set here at ff.n for awhile, I've decided to rework it a bit, edit it, and make the chapters shorter. Of course, nothing from Star Wars is mine, not even the simply loverly Qui-Gon Jinn. However, anything else, such as Jaydn, belongs to me. Read, enjoy, and of course, review! Reviews make the world go 'round, after all.
Chapter One: In the Beginning
* * *
The burning glare of the double suns bounced off the desert sands, scorching the girl's bare arms and legs, which were already dark from the suns' abuse. She stood stoically, keeping her head raised proudly and facing away from her master as the thick, braided whip was raised in the air.
A second later, she felt the familiar rip of pain scream across her back. She winced, but bit her tongue so that she wouldn't cry out. She was too strong for that. She wouldn't submit to the pain. But as the whip cracked down again and again, her legs buckled and she collapsed, falling to the ground. Still, she would not cry, even when a heavy, booted foot kicked her in the shins. "Get up, Slave!"
She looked up into the cruel, ugly face of her Vinnian master, Que-Kay. The folded-over tips of his ears were twitching, as they always did when he was upset or excited. She could never tell if he was angry or happy when he beat her. It was hard to tell.
His deep-set green eyes, which contrasted sharply with his pasty skin, glared out at her from beneath heavy lids. She slowly got to her feet. "My name," she managed to say in her clear, sure voice, "is Jaydn."
He laughed at her. "You have no name, girl. You're an orphan, you don't even know who your parents were." He grinned wickedly, showing his sparse, flat teeth. "You've been a slave all your life, and you'll never be anything more."
There it was. The statement that summarized each slave's destiny- to always be a slave. She stared at him defiantly, then spit on the ground at his feet. "Yes I will!"
He snarled angrily, snapping his whip out once more. It curled around her legs and he pulled it back, bringing her back down onto her back into the dust, which was where she belonged in his opinion. "Sure, you may be bantha fodder, if you're lucky." He recoiled his whip, placing it at his waist. "Get out of here, girl, I don't want you in my sight any more today. And you'd better not be late tomorrow, if you value your hide."
She hurried towards the slave's quarters, to the small pathetic hut that Que-Kay had given her when he bought her. For many nights after she first arrived, she'd stayed up working to patch the holes in the walls and roof, clean the entire building, and make it seem like... home. It was a strange idea, because she had never really known what home was. She was a slave, bought, sold, and worked like an animal. That was the way it had always been, and probably always would be. She would never have a true home since Que-Kay would most likely sell her as soon as someone offered enough credits for her. He hated the sight of her, as he did all humans, but he would keep her as long as he knew he could get a higher price. That was the way it had always been, for as long as she could remember.
Jaydn's parents had been killed on slavers' raid on in her home village, while trying to escape. She had only been an infant. The slavers had taken her, and for the first month or so, no one thought she would live. Not that anyone cared. She was a baby, and no one would pay money for a baby. But she did live, despite all expectations, and when she was four, she was sold for the first time.
Of course, she didn't know any of this. She barely remembered her first master. His name had been Mikal, and he had been the one to name her. Before that, she had been called Slave. Mikal had been her kindest owner, but he had a weakness for gambling, and he lost her to a slimy Hutt after barely two years. Five years later, Que-Kay had bought her.
Now she was seventeen and had spent six years working in the Vinnian's store and being beaten weekly. She was small and thin, with wavy black hair that, when loose, fell just past her shoulders. She wore the typical slaves' clothes, a heavy, rough cloth tunic that was cut off above her knees and worn-out sandals. With them, she kicked at a rock, sending it skittering down the road. She hated her life. There was only one person in the entire galaxy who could ever make her feel better. And that was...
"Qui-Gon!" Her entire face brightened as she saw the young Jedi running down the path towards her. He reached her and scooped her up in his arms, enveloping her in a mass of robes. She wrapped her arms around his neck and breathed in his musky scent, holding on like she would never let go.
He kissed her cheek. "Jaydn..." He set her back down on the ground and looked her over. "Gods, you've grown!" he exclaimed, reaching out to muss her multiple braids.
She smiled, though the gestured would normally have annoyed her. "So have you." Qui-Gon Jinn had been off world for almost a year with his Master. He was training to be a Jedi Knight and was not, she thought with slight bitterness, a slave. His dark hair was cropped short, save for a thin braid that hung down the right side of his face. He had beautiful blue eyes that sparkled when he smiled, which he often did. He was now eighteen, and had grown a lot in the past year. He had also lost all traces of baby fat and was lean and muscular. Jaydn wondered how she must look to him.
He hugged her again, and she winced as he touched her newly inflicted wounds. Sensing her pain, he looked down into her eyes. "Did he hurt you?"
She avoided his gaze. "It's not bad."
"Jade..." With a hand, he brought her face back up towards his and was about to say something. But he saw in her eyes the pain that she felt and knew better. So he smiled and instead said, "I missed you."
"Missed you too." Her hand found his and she squeezed it, looking up to the sky. The suns were rapidly setting, and she needed to get home. "See you tomorrow morning?" She had already forgotten Que-Kay's warning about being late.
He grinned. "Of course." Qui-Gon walked her the rest of the way home, then hurried back to the house he and his master shared.
Jaydn sat down on her cot, reaching down to rub her leg, where a dark welt was forming. She cursed softly in Huttese. She had picked up many languages throughout her seventeen years, between three masters and now working in the store. You had to know at least twenty languages to get by.
After doing her best to wash the cuts on her back, she dressed in a ragged robe and knelt next to her bed. Reaching under a mattress, she pulled out a small leather bag. In it were the only treasures she had in this world. A blaster, a crystal given to her by a sympathetic humanoid couple, and a handful of credits. For the past several years, she'd been sneaking out at night to work for other merchants under a false name and the pretense that she wasn't a slave. In this way she'd made sparse money, enough to buy a few things. The rest she saved.
Tonight, she counted the credits, as she did so often. She sighed. There wasn't enough. There would never be enough. But enough for what? She would never be able to buy her freedom. It was forbidden for a slave to buy his or her own freedom. But maybe she could give it to Qui-Gon, and he could set her free... she allowed her mind to follow this happy thought until she cut herself off. No... it would never happen. Que-Kay would rather kill her than have her free. And she wouldn't be surprised if he did kill her eventually.
She put the things back and climbed underneath the thin sheet. She needed to wake before the sun rose to meet Qui-Gon. In a few minutes, she fell into a deep sleep, dreaming once more of the parents she had never known.
Jaydn woke automatically the next morning and dressed, tucking her blaster out of sight. Then she ran out to where she and Qui-Gon would meet on the edge of town. There she waited, perched on a large rock. She stared up at the still starry sky until she heard his footsteps approaching. "Sorry I'm late," he apologized. "Master wouldn't let me leave."
She grinned at him, just happy to be able to see him again after all this time. "It's okay." She hopped off the rock, glanced at him, and took off running, calling behind her, "Race you to Dark Canyon!"
He didn't even pause to protest, but quickly followed. Soon, they were neck and neck at a dead run across the desert, each determined to beat the other. Jaydn's face was a mirror image of Qui-Gon's, taunt and beaded with sweat. She ran barefoot, her feet tough and brown, whereas the boy wore his boots. Slowly, she began to pull ahead, and finally skidded to a stop, tagging the boulder barely a second before Qui-Gon. "Beat you."
He sighed. "Again." Flopping down on the edge of the cliff, he let his feet hang over. Jaydn joined him, already catching her breath. She pulled out her blaster.
"Bet you I can hit that womprat on the far side."
He grinned, knowing full well that she could. "Naw. I don't want to make you feel bad if you don't."
She smiled back at him, knowing the routine. "You're just saying that because you can't hit anything."
"Oh yeah? Then let's see you hit it." She aimed quickly and fired before the womprat even had a chance to flinch. Qui-Gon laughed. Jaydn was one of the best shots he'd ever seen. She could shoot the braid from his head and not even nick him, if she wanted. He didn't know how she did it, but she was good.
They spent the next half-hour picking out targets for each other, competing to see who was the best. Jaydn seemed to never miss. Qui-Gon was good, but not as good. He knew that the times that Jaydn actually missed, she was only doing it so that he wouldn't feel as bad. The thought made him feel worse.
After they'd finished, they sat leaning against the stone wall of the canyon. Jaydn looked up at him. "Did you think about me when you were gone?"
"All the time." He grinned.
"Seriously, Qui-Gon."
He put his arm around her, pulling her closer to him. "I am serious." He sighed. "Jade... I missed you a lot. I wouldn't lie to you about that... or about anything. While I was gone, all I wanted was to come back and see you again." She smiled, resting her head against his shoulder. To her surprise, Qui-Gon leaned over and kissed her tenderly on her forehead. There was a long silence as he looked down at her. Then he voiced what he had been keeping inside for so long. "I think... I think I'm in love with you, Jade."
Her breath caught in her chest, and for a moment, she couldn't breathe, think, or move. What he had said was impossible. She was a slave, he was a Jedi... Were Jedi even supposed to fall in love? Somehow, she didn't think so. "Qui-Gon..."
He pressed a finger to her lips. "Shh... don't say anything." He stood abruptly, nervously fingering something in his utility belt.
She got up and moved to stand by him. "What's that?"
He pulled out a slender metal rod, fashioned with a black handgrip and a small red button on the side. "My lightsaber. Every Jedi has one, and it's tradition for a Padawan to make their own. I made it while I was gone." He held it out to her. "You can try it."
Her eyes were wide as she took the weapon in her hands. This was his lightsaber... he'd told her how important they were to a Jedi. She looked up at him. "Are you sure?"
He nodded. He would trust her with anything. Something deep inside him knew that he could trust her. She ran her fingers along the smooth metal for a moment, then stepped back and pressed the button. Instantly, a deep green blade shot out the end, crackling with energy. She closed her eyes, feeling the power course through her body. Then she shut it off and handed it back to him. "Done?"
She nodded. "Yeah. I..." her voice trailed off. The simple experience of holding the lightsaber had filled her with a strange sense of sorrow.
"What?"
"I wish I could... do what you do."
He pulled her small frame close, hugging her. "I know, Jade... I wish you could too." He sighed. "One day... you're going to do great things. I can feel it."
"I hope you're right." Suddenly she pulled back and looked up. The sun had already risen. "Oh no, I'm late, Kay's going to kill me!" Without waiting for Qui-Gon, she grabbed her blaster and ran off as fast as she could. But it wasn't fast enough to beat the quickly rising sun, which signaled the impending beating she would receive.
She raced through the crowded streets, tucking her blaster safely inside her belt and under her tunic. When she came to a stop in front of Que-Kay's shop, he was waiting for her, hand on his whip. There would be no chance for excuses.
She almost turned and ran, but knew it would only be worse for her if she did. Almost crumbling under his glare, she slowly walked towards him. He grabbed her arm roughly, dragging her out behind the store. He called for another slave to watch the shop. As she was thrown to the ground, she covered her head, hearing the wicked crack of the whip.
"Ungrateful wretch!" The leather bit into her back, and she couldn't keep the tears back. "All I've done for you, give you a place to live, a job, enough money to buy food, and I get nothing back. I should kill you, it would do me more good." The whip cracked down over and over, cruelly punctuating his words, until he finally stopped, leaving her to lie on the ground, bloody and broken.
The alien strode inside the store just as Qui-Gon ran up to him. The storeowner scowled. "Your girlfriend's out back, if she's still alive."
Qui-Gon glared at him, resisting the urge to give in to his anger. The phrase that his master had told him countless times ran through his head. "A Jedi shall not know anger. Nor hatred." He conveniently left out the last part of that phrase- Nor love.
He ran past Qui-Kay to the back of the store, stopping dead in his tracks when he saw her. He had never seen her, or anyone, like this. He had been shielded against these acts of cruelty for eighteen years. Of course, he knew they happened, as evidenced by Jaydn's pain that he both felt and saw, but he had never seen this part of it... he shook his head, kneeling by her side. "Jaydn?" She was sobbing and reached out to him, needing him more than she had ever needed him before.
He gathered her in his arms. "Gods, I'm so sorry. It's all my fault..." She didn't answer him at first as she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his robe.
Finally her voice came to him, trembling and weak. "Take me home, Qui-Gon."
END CHAPTER ONE