For Les and Briony.
She runs through the October rain, one destination in mind. She runs through the October rain because she has nothing else to do and there's this feeling in her heart that makes her blood hum and her bones ring so loud she can hear it and it's driving her mad.
It started last year. The insanity that's been eating away at her heart, that is. Sometimes it's so bad it hurts. Other times it's like this. She can't sit still and she just needs to run, to feel the wind her hair and the earth spinning beneath her feet.
It started last year. It was her first year of college and she met this loud boy named Naruto. All she'd been looking for was someone to talk to, but then Naruto grabbed her arm and dragged her down the hall.
And she met him. She doesn't know if she should thank the blonde for introducing them or if she should strangle the boy, but she met him and that one moment when Naruto dragged her down the hall has changed her life in ways she never imagined possible.
He's all she can think about and it's driving her mad. She wants to scream at him sometimes because he's driving her mad. He's falling all over her thoughts, splattering them with bits of him that she can't wash away.
She hates it. She wants to hate him but she can't seem to. She doesn't think she'll ever be able to hate him. He's too ingrained into the lines of her heart by this point.
His name is Sasuke and she is running barefoot through the October rain to reach him. She has nothing else to do but run to him because she can hear him breaking, knew it was happening when she got that phone call from Naruto, and she knows she has to get to him. This has been coming for so long, Naruto tells her. She trusts his word because he has known Sasuke his entire life and so he knows all the damage the dark boy is suffering from.
That phone call that she so hated told her more than she thought possible. Naruto has told her about the darkness in the Uchiha family. She is afraid now, because she doesn't know what is going to happen.
She knows about Itachi now.
The name has never come up before, nor has it ever been mentioned that Sasuke isn't an only child. Sakura knows she hates the man, though she has never met him. Likely never will at this rate and that's okay. She isn't sure she wants to meet him. After what he's done, how he has broken this boy devouring her thoughts, she thinks she would try to kill him if she ever met him.
She can feel it pulling on her heart, the knowledge of what has happened. With one son gone, the one remaining must be better. Sasuke must be better. She knows this and knows that everyone who knows what has happened knows this and she hates it.
She hates it because Sasuke is Sasuke. He is nothing else. It's horrible to expect him to be anything but because now he's breaking apart beneath the crushing of the sudden expectations.
It's Friday night. She thinks this is criminal because Fridays are for other things. F is for "friends" and "fun" and all that shit she doesn't know about. Friday isn't for running through the October rain to a boy she knows in a way she's never known anyone else.
Naruto is outside their apartment; smile gone and blue eyes so dark she can't tell them from the stormy sky. His white shirt is plastered to his skin, the thin fabric doing nothing to protect him. She has never seen him like this and she knows the seriousness doesn't suit him. The fear and worry stop tugging at her heart and turn to tearing it instead.
"Where is he?" she rasps, her breath gone with the raindrops falling past her.
"His room," he responds, finally looking at her, "It's bad, Sakura."
He's not using the honorific. The seriousness of what is happening finally sinks in and she shudders, "You really think I can do anything?"
"I hope so."
He says he's hoping. He's not saying he knows or he thinks. He doesn't have a reason to think she'll be able to help but he's called her regardless because, she realizes, she's all that's left. She's the last line of defense before his best friend—his brother—is lost to that darkness.
She drifts past Naruto, rushing into the apartment complex and skidding through the stairs and halls until she's through the open door. She has only been there once before but she knows where he is, even if she's not really looking around her. She can feel him and that's all that matters.
Naruto was right.
It is bad.
He stands in the middle of what was once his bedroom. She remembers that it was perfectly tidy last time. Now it's unrecognizable. Things are torn and broken and everything is scattered everywhere. He is a storm and this is the damage he is leaving behind.
"Sasuke?" her voice is so tiny, she thinks, but she can't seem to speak any other way. She has this irrational fear that if she speaks any louder he will break.
She doesn't like seeing him this way. He just stands there with his dark head low. He looks at her briefly, crushing her heart and emptying her lungs with that one glance.
He looks dead.
She almost wonders what it was his father said to him. She might just hate him more than she hates Itachi. Fathers aren't supposed to kill their sons so spectacularly. Fathers can be distant, but they should never do this.
Sakura takes a step forward, ignoring the way the rainwater is still slipping down her body like blood falling from the hole opening up in her chest, "Sasuke?"
He still won't say anything and that scares her more than anything. He is usually silent, yes, but there is never this air of death accompanying it. She needs him to say anything; just something that will reassure her that he is still alive and this isn't destroying his humanity.
She steps up until she's close enough to touch him without trying. The humming in her blood and the ringing in her bones is deafening now, screaming at her that everything is wrong and there is nothing she can do to fix it. How is she supposed to? He knows more about her than she can imagine and she knows nothing about him. He won't give her the chance to find out.
He doesn't like to be touched, she knows, but she does it anyway. There is October rain clinging to her skin and it's cold, but she thinks the skin on his bare shoulder is exponentially colder. Naruto needs her to save Sasuke, but she has this horrible feeling that there is nothing she can do. She can't help this dark boy if he won't let her.
He isn't pushing her away, but he isn't reacting. She can't tell if this is good or bad. As an experiment, she swallows her shier tendencies and presses a kiss to his shoulder blade. He still doesn't react and the inaction screams at her that nothing is getting through to him. A lump forms in her throat as she realizes this.
What if nothing ever reaches him again? What if he is like this for the rest of his life, all because Itachi walked away and Fugaku saw fit to force higher expectations on his remaining son? What if he has died, that the form before her is nothing more than an empty shell?
Something in her snaps and she wraps her arms around him. It is awkward, as she is standing more to his side than one should be for a proper hug, but this isn't a proper hug because this is a desperate attempt to throw a lost boy a spider silk thread to cling to so she can try to save him.
She didn't say anything—can't really. The only things she could think of were lies through and through. She adjusts her hold on him and presses her cheek to his shoulder, tears welling up when she realizes that she can't really feel him breathing.
A tear falls and she almost hears the crack when the warmth reaches the cold of his skin. There's a shaky breath and they both fall. Her knees hit the floor painfully, but she doesn't let go. If she does, he might fall apart.
"Sakura?"
"Yeah?"
There's a pause, then, "Lie to me."
She stills completely. Three words tell her how bad the situation really is. Three words and she has to breathe very, very carefully. If she doesn't, the dam might break and she will break and there will be more tears than there are raindrops in the October rain outside. Everything is so very wrong and she doesn't know what she's supposed to do. All she has to direct her in this murky territory are his words, so she does as he asks.
She will lie to him, because that is what he wants her to do.
"Everything will be okay, I promise."
Disclaimer: Me no own.
Oh wow. I wrote SasuSaku. O.O
Thank you, Sonya, for looking this over.
-Hikari Adams