It was daybreak. The only noise that could be heard was the occasional car that passed by in the street nearby. Yes, it was still early, and the Chateau was deserted, completely, except for the troubled white haired man, still tucked in bed. You can't say that his hair was white, no, rather, from his roots it was black, but everything underneath was white. No one knew why his hair had turned white, not even himself. Yes, at a time he probably knew, but now, the angel of forgetfulness had washed away everything, everything before two years. It was probably a good thing...that he forgot everything. But...Oh, how he craved to remember, his world before, his life, his people, yet he feared it. He feared it well. The life he knew now was too fulfilling, too peaceful that he feared the life before. He feared the present would be washed away because of the past. He feared death, yes, the death of his present self, and the rebirth of his former dangerous self. He knew what a treacherous being he was - a ghoul, wanted by the CCG, ironically, the institute he is working in presently. His life was way too precious to give away. No matter how far his curiosity took him, he stopped himself; rather fear clutched his fingers, preventing him from going further, further into enlightenment.

Enlightenment of his past.

Yet, there was one thing, one thing that made him desire his past. A desire that was way more than his mindset to cling onto the present.

A woman.

Her pure white face and glance that could make anyone fall in love with her. The light blue strands that strayed away from her head and shrouded her right eye. He was almost certain that he knew her. This assumption was the motivation that made him want to know about himself, his identity and more importantly, her. He remembered those perfectly symmetrical pink lips oh too well. It was a face he couldn't forget, yet fate had made it that he did. No matter how much he racked his brain, nothing had worked. Whenever he thought deep, he could only get a glimpse of a figure, a young girl, only her outline could be seen, nothing more. It was as if a very bright sun blazed behind her and shaded his view of her. He saw a hand that was held out, but just when he reached out to hold her, he would be taken back to that dark room with that disgusting checkered floor. And the hand? The hand suddenly belonged to a man that was lounged deep within his conscience. He was stuck with this man, he probably feared, but rather, he was more disgusted of. Him and his worthless calls, which tempted him so much. He knew that if he accepted, there was no going back. He was strong, but the man within was stronger. That is why he held back. He held back these temptations, he held back during his conflicts, he held back during his fights, and he held back whenever he met this woman.

It was hard...but it had to be done.

The man rubbed his eyes, awakening himself to his full extent. He had finally gotten up. The times were hard. He looked at himself in the mirror and saw in his eyes, the grief of a man who lost a many. He should have listened to Akira's words before missing his last chance. After all, they were his subordinates and it was not wrong to strengthen their bonds. It's just that...he should have thought of the consequences of losing them. First, it was Urie, then Shirazu, now Mutsuki is in a coma and Saiko is still in the hospital, unable to speak, unable to contact him, unable to touch. He should have been the one in depression, after all that has struck him. But of course, circumstances led to another, and all that happened has always led to hurting the people around him. He banged the sink and shoved everything on its surface down. Tears formed on his eyes, his face red with hurt, his hands balled into a fist. He thought it was his fault. It was his fault for everything. The man within said it and so did he. He did not have power, nor strength...he was weak. He fisted the wall, blood streamed down his knuckles.

He knew very well, that it was useless for him to beat himself up. It had no effect on him. But, the pain within him was too great. It had to be nullified by something else. A wound, a distraction...something. He sat himself down on the couch. It was the second week he missed work. He occasionally went to work before, but he only did desk work. It's been two months since he's been out on the field. Arima had called to check up on him, but he ignored it.

Sasaki. Sasaki Haise. The name he wore with pride. He was ignorant of whether it was his true name or not. He was ignorant of whether this name was given to him by the CCG or if it was his birth name. He was ignorant of many things.

"Ka...Sasaki?"

He turned around to see a maiden. His eyes widened. He couldn't believe it.

"K-Kirishima Touka-san..."

They sat down in the hall. The silence between them was deafening. She clicked her heels trying to gain Sasaki's attention. His gaze flickered and he finally looked up at her. His stare was harsh. She could see his lack of sleep through the dark circles that covered his eyes and all those sleepless nights where he cried himself to sleep. His eyes gave him away, his story, his true feelings, the truth. She could see how much pain he endured, just by that one look. She shuffled her feet uncomfortably, and looked back at him. He gave her a forced smile, which did not last for long. She felt pained that her presence was making him do this.

"Well...Would you like to have coffee?" he asked her silently. She nodded. He got up and went to the kitchen but, she stopped him. "I-I can make it for you." she said, but he smiled and shook his head. "No, this is my pleasure. Please allow me. I can't bring myself to make a guest make coffee for me here, now can I?" He returned to making coffee. She sat down with unease. She knew of the pain he's gone through. She knew what happened to his squad. Secretly...Secretly, she had been keeping an account of him, Sasaki, or as she knew it, Kaneki Ken. She had faith in him, and she knew that Sasaki Haise was, indeed, Kaneki. But, she did nothing to interfere in his life. She could not become close with him, even though it pained her so well. She maintained their relationship as just friends, not any closer than that. Yomo prevented her. But...Touka could not handle it anymore.

She could not bring herself to do nothing as the man she loved so dearly grieved and ruined his health due to his greatest loss yet.

She had seen that girl, Saiko, in the hospital bed many a times. She saw her motionless face droop with no emotion and only dread emanated out of the girl. But, even worse, she saw Haise, who sat across her bed every single day for hours and hours. He would talk to the girl and laugh and strike one or two of his lame puns. But his actions were only given a deaf ear.

There was another. Mutsuki Tooru. He was also very dear to Sasaki. But fate had made him stuck to his hospital bed for who knows how much longer, stuck in the perpetual darkness, unable to make contact with the outside world, for maybe forever.

It pained Touka and she could not wait a day longer. She had to see Haise. She had to see her dearest Kaneki.

He brought two cups of coffee and placed it on the table.

"I saw Saiko-chan the other day..." Haise glanced back at her, his ears perking at the sound of Saiko's name coming out of Touka's mouth. "...So..you were the one who left flowers the other day...?" The girl nodded. "Thank you...-"

"..."

"Haise..."

"...I know how much you're in pain...I know that pain too well. Even I had lost many people in my life...A man..who was like a father to me...two others who took care of me many times and helped me when times were hard...a-a...a lover..." The girl barely gasped out the last bit. She had to admit, she loved Kaneki. She wasn't expecting him to be the one who stole her heart. But now...its just not the same... Sasaki raised his brows.

"K...Kirishima-sa-"

"Call me Touka."

"Erm..Touka..."

"Listen...You don't have to go through this by yourself...You can talk to me..anytime. I just wanted to let you know...I'll be there for you..."

"..."

The two stayed silent for a long time. The coffee was left untouched. "Well...I better get going..." The woman got up from the sofa and gathered her belongings. She looked at Sasaki one last time before leaving and made her way to the door. "...Touka, wait." The door closed. Touka had already left. Sasaki sighed and laid down on the sofa, silently crying to himself. He dreaded the memory so well. He wanted...needed a person...A person that would understand him...A person that would comfort him.

The door opened one last time. "...Sasaki, did you call me?" the woman asked as she walked once again to the hall. She gasped as she saw the man crying. She dropped her bag and kneeled down next to him. "Sasaki? Are you alright?" The man sat up and hugged her. Touka's eyes widened. "Thank you..." he said silently.

She was shocked by Sasaki's actions. She was just about to let go of him, but he started hugging her even more tighter than before. No sounds came out of him, but she could feel the warm tears drop onto her shoulder.

Times had been hard for her too.

She had to leave Anteiku, she had to leave the 20th ward, she had to leave her dreams of getting into Kamii, she had to leave Yoriko...She needed this more than ever. She needed Kaneki. She had waited for him. Days became months, months became years and soon, the void in her heart slowly closed up as work distracted her. She thought for all these years that she didn't need him after all. But now, she realized how much she missed him, how much she needed him, how much she craved him...

Sasaki slowly pulled back from her and looked at her with teary eyes. She looked back at him. They moved in for a kiss. Haise flinched as Touka's soft, juicy lips made contact with his. He felt himself roll back and grab her back, bringing her closer. They sucked on each other's tongues, parting only for air. Sasaki needed this. He knew that. He let himself go. He did not hold himself back this time. If it was with her...it would be fine, he thought. Touka cupped his face as they kissed. Their hands started to roam now. They found themselves exploring each other's bodies. Touka got up and sat down on his lap. She wrapped her legs around his waist, tightly. She knew this was wrong. Very wrong. But she did not stop herself. She needed this. She craved him for so long and now everything's loose. All she ever wanted was to comfort Sasaki. She wanted him to feel good. She wanted him to feel warmth. She wanted him to feel the comfort she had for him for a long time. And she provided him with all.

She grinded against his hips, making him tingle with sensations. He pulled her in tighter. He realized that all his needs, desires, they were all satisfied by her. He felt something missing in himself for a long time...but with her, he felt complete. He felt all his worries, his grief, his sorrow wash away with her touch. That's right...All this man needed was to be loved and cared for. All he needed was some warmth. That was all he needed. He lost all restraint he had over himself. He loosened his necktie with one yank and started unbuttoning his shirt, almost tearing it off with impatience. Sweat drizzled off his toned skin. He saw her blush and smirked at her. She helped him take off his shirt and immediately touched his toned abs. Her lips curved up as she remembered her telling Kaneki to work out, and now looked at his toned body.

Sasaki stroked her face and looked her in the eye. They smiled at each other. He nuzzled his face into her shoulder and bit into her neck. He sucked on her, leaving marks everywhere. Her moans urged him to grind into her. He pushed her down on the sofa and started kneading her breasts. She felt great. He explored her clothed body, moving up and down her waist, making her squirm. Her clothes deemed to be a nuisance, so he removed them and discarded them in a corner of the hall.

He was losing it, he knew it. But, the hardships he faced all alone. It was too much to handle. He coldly remembered the merciless death of Shirazu in the line of duty which he witnessed in front of his eyes. The words which came out of his superior's mouth which pierced him like a knife when they said they recovered Urie's body, lifeless. Yes, many investigators died that day, but these kids...They were like his own children. That's what made it that much more painful. He needed to lose himself. He needed to let go.

Just for once.

Touka grabbed Haise by his necktie and dragged him to the nearest bedroom and he followed. She shoved his shoulders down making him sit. She, then, wrapped her legs around his waist and sat on his lap. They joined in for a deep kiss. It was so intense. She grinded down on him achingly slow. Haise let out a slight moan, gaining a smirk from Touka. He lifted up Touka slightly as she slipped off her skirt accordingly. He pinned her down onto the bed. His lips met with her soft skin. She flinched as he slowly gave her a flurry of kisses down her neck to her navel. He unlatched her bra in a hurry. Her lips gave way to her moans, urging Haise, tempting him to do soo many dirty things to her.

He nuzzled his face onto the only clothing which was wrapped around her body. He hooked his thumbs under her panties and teased with the band, stretching it and letting it go, allowing it to strike her skin. She hissed at him but he just laughed. He slipped off her panties and smelled her scent.

Intoxicating.

He grabbed onto her inner thighs and pulled them apart, widening his view of what was before him. He kissed her clit and gave her a single lick which sent shivers up her spine. He inserted his tongue into her and squirmed inside her warmth. Touka grabbed onto tufts of his hair, unable to breathe...unable to endure the pleasure he was giving her. He shuffled his feet as he kneeled on the ground and shifted his face to get a better angle on her. She rested her arms on his shoulders before giving him a single push. She fell on top of him, as they both fell on the floor. Her juices streamed down her thighs, staining his pants.

She locked lips with him as she pulled down his pants along with his boxers. She cupped his face and straddled herself on top of him. She grinded onto him, hard. She let her hands trail down his body, feeling him. She jumped up and down on him. Haise's hands reached over to her body, hungrily. He assisted her while holding onto her waist and guided her up and down. Her juices flowed down her as Haise still controlled her movements. He grunted as his climax neared him.

Touka shrieks as she lets go of all control of herself and releases her juices. "Haise...mmm...Release all your worries, all your pain...Do it Haise!" He pumps for a few more rounds, when he felt his climax coming. He dug deep inside her, jerking his pelvic muscles up into her and impaling her with his full length. He releases his seed and lets go of Touka. The juices overflow out of her slit as Touka leans down to rest with him. But Sasaki's reason was coming back to him. Tears rolled off his cheeks and Touka knew that they were tears of realization. She kisses him on the cheek, then his forehead, and then his other cheek. Her lips swept away the tears that stained Haise's cheeks. She comes back to his lips and kisses him passionately.

For the first time, Haise was enveloped in the wings of relief and how it caressed him, washing away all his fears. The painful memories which tainted his mind with depression and grief. His relief was Touka. His healer was Touka. His distraction was Touka.

For the first time since that dreadful incident, he felt that everything was going to be okay.

(A/N) Hope you liked this oneshot . Don't worry, there are more to come! Might switch from Haika to Touken, but I've got plenty of ideas (my friend gave me this huge list of AU prompts I can use, heh heh) So, please leave a review, whether you're a user of fanfiction or not! Don't forget to fav it and follow it if you liked it!

(I'm sorry for the feels :P )