A/N: So.... I had a good idea! Okay, maybe it wasn't so much a good idea as the fact that I forgot Mattikin's birthday (Mail Jeeves/ Matt, for those who don't speak English Fangirlese) The conversation I had with my computer went something like this:

Me: I wonder when my next birthday fic is... -looks at Death Note Birthday Calendar- But... today's the 5th... Matt's birthday was on the... NOOOOOOOO!!!! *Luke Skywalker pose*

Later:

-Deep Breathing- Okay. I can fix this, I can fix this... let's see, Naomi's is on the 11th. Why don't I write a story with both of them! But then they might think I love Matt less... whatever! Naomi's pretty, Matt won't mind. (Matt + Naomi's Rather Large Breasts= Happy Matt!)

So, I'm sorry to all of you who worship Matt. (Bad Fangirl! -slams head on desk- BAD Fangirl! -slams head on desk-) But, for the record, he is in a lot of my stories. Also, it's an AU.

Anyways, sorry for the long Author's Notes. And I'm publishing on the 6th because that's the middle point between their birthdays. Enjoy!

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A large glob of mud, glue, leaves, and assorted legos flew through the air, eclipsing the sun for a brief moment before gracefully landing on Naomi Misora's head.

"Ew." she said simply as she brushed it out of her hair. At this point in time, she was 11 years, 11 months, 23 hours, 59 minutes and 0 seconds old. In other words, she was spending her birthday at the "Brat House" as she had dubbed it. You, being the inquisitive reader you are, might wonder why a perfectly respectable, nearly 12 year-old girl would choose to do this. But, you don't know all the facts.

For example, Naomi Misora, at this point in time, was not respectable in the least. Well, maybe a little. If, that is, you respect the ability to con a rude old man out of his money by posing as a girl scout, victim of a car crash, boy scout, and many other different people, all in one day. I'd have to admit that I, your anonymous narrator, am impressed by this.

'Wait!' someone says in protest, 'This still doesn't explain where she is or why she's there! Apart from her, this story isn't even Death Note related!' As that someone rants on about whatever, they probably won't hear their ever-so-precious explanation. Namely: community service.

Assigned to a nearby orphanage, she was sentenced to work with children her age for four months. Every day, after school, her mother would drop hr off at the Home For Hope (a rather cheesy title, in her opinion).

The large, disgusting mixture of mud, glue, leaves, and assorted legos was a special birthday gift from some boys about her age.

It is now 2005, Naomi Misora is now 29 years of age, and Naomi Misora now loathes anything to do with orphanages. There are three exceptions to this hate: The Detective L, His Helper Watari, and Matt.

Once Upon A Time: she had worked with the FBI, her fiancé was murdered by Kira, Kira was caught, she worked with L, she met Mello, Matt, and Near, she started doing some work outside of work, Matt got in on the same illegitimate business, they became partners, she stayed with the FBI (though her second job payed better), and made her way to the present day.

She sighed in the summer heat, stuck in her apartment on a Saturday afternoon. Idly flipping through an outdated fashion magazine she got as a free trial last month, one ad caught her eye.

"Quick And Cheap Weddings!

Screw romantic! You want the benefits and bliss of marriage now! A better, less costly marriage for the lower-middle class!"

She sighed and thought of Raye, a million woulda-coulda-shoulda's and what-if's flooding her mind. If only...

Suddenly, an unexpected knocking on the door jolted her from her sad yet dreamy reverie. Snatching up a small electronic fan, she slouched over to the door, swinging it open with her eyes half shut.

"Yeah?" she mumbled, barely awake.

"Well babe, not that I'm complaining, but lingerie isn't exactly appropriate for strolling the streets."

Naomi's eyes snapped open. Matt?! Once she managed to move her head up, she found the redhead grinning at her like a madman. "Not that I'm an expert on fashion or anything..." he finished, winking.

She gaped and mumbled something about getting some clothes, holding the door open for him. She quickly ran off, leaving Matt to explore the near-empty apartment.

He trailed his finger over an empty mantle, which was mounted above a dormant heater. It was covered in dust, except fora sot where a single picture frame had sat. Probably of Raye... Matt thought, I'm glad she took those down, it wasn't healthy. He laughed out loud at this last part. Like he was to judge healthy.

"What's so funny?" Naomi asked, flipping her hair out from under her black tee.

"Ah, nothing." Matt replied, not wanting to bring up Raye. So he decided to change the subject, "Do you have anything that's not black or leather?"

"Yeah, I think I have a summer dress or something... but I haven't worn it for a while." Naomi replied, completely serious.

"Oh." Matt said in response. He knew a few things about Naomi by now; if she said she hadn't done something in a while, it meant she hadn't since Raye.

Naomi managed to remember the reason she had to put on clothes to begin with, "So, Matt, why're you here on this so very, very, uncomfortably hot day?"

"Oh, yeah," Matt recovered, "We have a concert today."

"Ah," Naomi replied, "Violin or saxophone?"

"Well," he said, "We're getting payed extra since they want us to give a saxophone concert first, followed by a violin recital. And they're offering a bonus if we finish up with a piano concerto."

"Eh, unless you want to play the piano. I haven't practiced in months."

Now, to you, this may seem boring. But, in reality, neither of them played any musical instruments. Rather, they were discussing the previously mentioned "illegitimate business" that no one else knew of. Not L (though he suspected something), not Naomi's coworkers, not even Mello (who also was suspicious).

That Night...

Naomi clicked her alarm off a minute before it was to go off, 9:00 pm. Shortly after Matt left, she had gathered a few things and gone to bed.

"Saturday... Ten O'- Clock... Lotsa people... Out tonight..." Naomi sang, making up the words as she went along. She slipped into her sexiest lingerie (being attractive held it's usefulness in distraction), and over that she wore a low-cut black shirt and a flowing black skirt. She tossed on a pair of flats, and then began to stock her grey tote bag.

Later...

Naomi slid around the back of La Ragazza Graziosa, parking her bike and dismounting as Matt's car pulled up beside her.

"Ready?" he asked, getting out.

"Yeah." she replied, taking a deep breath.

"Nervous?" he inquired

"...Yeah." she admitted.

"But you're ready?" Matt reiterated, tilting his head.

"Yes. Let's go." Naomi said, placing a small pistol in her garter.

"Whatever you say..." Matt said, following her into the bar.

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A/N: I hate to be a fanfic tease... but the second half is coming on Naomi's birthday, the 11th. Hey, at least I don't demand a certain number of reviews before I'll continue. Ugh, those people really annoy me...

So, if you're mad and want to flame me for this, I'm cool with that. I only had a day to write this, so I consider it a success. Either way, it gets better from here.