Flesh Wounds, a boston legal fanfic

(Alan is in his office filling out papers when Shirley walks in)

(Alan is in his office filling out papers when Shirley walks in)

Shirley: "Alan, are you busy?"

Alan: "Shirley, I believe I told you my penis gets tired at around 3:00 these days. You'll have to come back tomorrow."

Shirley: "This can't wait until tomorrow, Alan."

Alan: "I'm intrigued. Seems I spoke too soon; he's not that tired." (looks down) "Down boy."

Shirley: "Alan, you're not listening to me. Denny is-"

Alan: "Denny won't found out, Shirley, don't worry about that. I'll keep you my dirty little secret-"

Shirley: "Denny's in the hospital.'

Alan: (stands up) "What?!"

Shirley: "He's alright, Alan."

Alan: "If he was alright he wouldn't be in the hospital. Why didn't you tell me about this as soon as you walked through that door?"

Shirley: "Well I tried to squeeze it in through all the sexual banter."

Alan: "What happened?"

Shirley: "Apparently one of his former clients has been stalking him for weeks and finally caught up with him at his apartment this morning. It happened about an hour ago. Alan, he's ok."

(Alan is grabbing his coat and heading toward the door as Shirley follows)

Shirley: "I was actually debating whether or not to tell you."

Alan: "What are talking about?"

Shirley: "Denny didn't want me to tell you. He said that you guys had a big fight last night."

Alan: "Where is he?"

(We see Alan and Shirley approaching a nurse's station)

Alan: "I need to see Denny Crane."

Nurse: "Are you family?"

(Shoving past)

Alan: "I'm his flamingo."

(Alan is walking into Denny's room very slowly and quietly. Denny appears to be asleep. Alan then sits by Denny's bedside, overwhelmed at seeing Denny this way. At hearing Alan sit he slowly wakes up.)

Denny: "What? Alan, who told you I was here?"

Alan: "Shirley."

Denny: "Never trust women."

Alan: "Denny, you should know you can't keep secrets from me. Are you alright?"

Denny: "I'm fine."

Alan: "Denny, about last night. I'm sorry that I-"

Denny: "I know. This is just a flesh wound. That was something much deeper. I really didn't mean it. It was just the-uh-"

Alan: "Mad Cow?"

Denny: "Exactly."

Alan: "Water under the bridge?"

Denny: "Brandy. Brandy under the bridge."

Alan: "When can you get out of here?"

Denny: "I'm afraid you might have to be alone tonight, my friend. Unless you can bring my balcony in here."

Alan: "Denny, you know they don't allow balconies in hospitals."

Denny: "Just the scotch then?"

Alan: "I can't stand seeing you like this."

Denny: "I should be out of here tomorrow."

Alan: "That soon?"

Denny: "I'm Denny Crane."

(pause)

Alan: "Thank God."

(Shirley comes to the door)

Alan: "Could you give us a minute, please?"

(Shirley looks at Denny and then Alan does. Denny has passed out. Alan kisses him on the forehead and they leave)

(Alan is standing by the ledge on the balcony, alone and is clearly upset. Shirley enters)

Shirley: "So this is what you guys do every night?"

Alan: "Hello, Shirley."

(Shirley walks up next to him)

Shirley: "Not thinking of jumping, are we?"

Alan: "Not at the moment."

Shirley: "He's going to be alright, Alan."

Alan: "I know."

(They sit down)

Shirley: "He won't really be out tomorrow. I'm sure you know that."

Alan: "Maybe we can have a sleepover then?"

Shirley: "Nice try."

Alan: "I should have been there."

Shirley: "You may have been shot, too."

Alan: "Yes, but at least Denny wouldn't be alone."

Shirley: "Why don't you take the day off tomorrow?"

Alan: "I'd rather keep my mind busy."

(long pause)

Shirley: "You really love him."

Alan: "Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I had never met him."

Shirley: "Me too."

Alan: "When I walked into his room today at the hospital, I couldn't believe it was really him. He was just so…helpless. It scared me."

Shirley: "What is it about Denny Crane?"

Alan: "The world may never know. Thank you, Shirley. It was very thoughtful of you to join me tonight."

Shirley: "Well, I'm no Denny Crane."

Alan: "But you smell better."

Shirley: "Now, if you'll excuse me I have to close up shop. Do you want me to come back?"

(Alan thinks)

Alan: "No I'm fine. I'll be fine."

Shirley: "Ok. Goodnight, Alan."

(Shirley touches Alan's shoulder as she leaves. The phone in Denny's office rings.)

Alan: (picks up phone) "Denny?"

(Alan sits down with phone pressed to his ear)

(End scene)