What to expect: Moe!Teddy, Yosano wants to be an Auntie!Akiko, OverprotectiveBro!Kunikida, ForeverAlone!Ranpo, Papa!Fuku wanting to be Grandpa!Fuku

Interlude I: Introducing Teddy

Yosano Akiko had just come back to from her shopping trip. At this time, the only people in the Armed Detective Agency would be the Director and herself. Everyone else is would either still be working in another room or at their lunch break. She entered the empty office only to spot something unusual

There sitting on Ranpo's desk was what looked like a fat golden hummingbird. Yosano noticed that underneath where it sat was an envelope with unusual writing on it.

"Eh? What's this?" The doctor said. Upon seeing Yosano, the bird started cheeping cheerfully and began fluttering bout her head. Ignoring it, Yosano took the envelope and examined it. It was made from parchment, which was very expensive. The writing on it seemed to be a mix of romanji, kanji, and hiragana, and katakana. She could barely make out Ranpo's name before giving up trying to decode the confusing writing.

The female ability user wondered if this was a trap for the agency's self-proclaimed "Super Detective". After all, the Armed Detective Agency has no shortage of enemies waiting to take their revenge against them in some form or another.

Out of paranoia, she opened the envelope expecting it to be a bomb in disguise or a chemical weapon hidden in the paper, only to find that the letter inside was normal. That is if you ignore the fact that it also contained the same migraine-inducing style. Attempting one last time to decode what was written, all she only got the basic gist of the message. Apparently this "JK-chan" wanted to introduce her son to her recipient, in other words, Ranpo. Yosano noticed the mention of Kunikida a few times and also the Director's name. It could only mean one thing.

"How adorable. Ranpo-san has a girlfriend." Yosano chuckled quietly to herself then turned to look at the golden bird beside her. "Looks like I have something to tease Ranpo-san about. Eh, Tori-chan?" The bird had gotten bored of being ignored by Yosano and decided to take a nap on Ranpo's desk. It took its head out from under its wing and simply cheeped at her before going back to sleep.

The doctor was about to replace the letter back inside the envelope until she noticed that she had missed a photo hidden inside. Giving into her curiosity, Yosano took out the photo to take a look.

What she saw made her dissolve into a puddle of goo.

⋋( ◕ V ◕ )⋌

Ranpo and Kunikida had just returned to the agency after an exhausting case. The taller of the two was writing furiously in his notebook over the setback in his schedule their latest case caused while the shorter man just wanted to kick back, relax, and devour his newly acquired stash of candy in his arms.

Right as they entered through the door, they were suddenly bombarded with the sound of the agency's sole female detective's voice.

"RANPO-SAN~! YOUR SON IS SO CUUUUTTTTEE~! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME ABOUT HIM?!" The woman gushed with glee.

Three things happened at once. Kunikida's pen snapped in half. Ranpo began choking on his ramune. The Director, who was passing by on the way to his office, heard Yosano's proclamation and snapped his head towards Ranpo so fast it nearly broke his neck in two.

"YOU HAVE TO INTRODUCE ME ASAP! I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE AKIKO-OBA-CHAN!" Yosano squealed loudly, waving the photo towards the short detective excitedly.

"RANPO-SAN! IS THIS TRUE!" Kunikida boomed over Yosano's demand.

"…I'm finally a grandfather?" Fukuzawa said, his voice was slightly tinged with hope.

"NO! I DON'T EVEN HAVE A GIRLFRIEND! LET ALONE A KID!" Ranpo protested at the top of his lungs.

"Then who is this cutie? He looks awfully like you. Look! Black hair and green eyes." The sole female ability user of the agency gestured to the photograph she had in her hand.

The three men in the room crowded around the woman to look at the photo of the little boy. The child couldn't be any older than two years old. He had a wispy mess of black hair covering his head and was looking at the camera with his big green eyes. He was clad in a wolf onesies costume and was giving his best impression of what he thought was a scary growl.

Everyone's hearts melted at the picture of the adorable puppy.

"CUUUTTEEE~." Ranpo cooed over the toddler in the image.

"I know, right~! I just want to snuggle up with him and smother him in my arms~!" The twenty-two year old woman said.

Kunikida had to cover up his mouth to prevent himself from letting out an unmanly squeal at the sight.

Fukuzawa, on the other hand, had an unreadable expression on his face. Only a slight blush betrayed his true thoughts. "Where did you get this photo?"

"From the letter on Ranpo's desk, I think it's from a "JK" or whatever. I couldn't read it, but it did mention something about wanting you to meet her son." Yosano explained.

"Of course you couldn't read it. It's JK-chan after all." Ranpo said to Yosano before turning his attention towards the unread letter of his longtime penpal. "So, Snitch, how's my little kohai doing?" The small ball of feathery fluff on his desk merely cheeped back in reply.

Realizing something, the blond haired man took the photo from the female doctor's hand

'…JK-chan? …A son? …Ranpo-san?' was what ran through his mind as Kunikida stared back and forth from the boy in the photo to his fellow male coworker. While the black-haired man was casually reading their mutual penpal's latest letter, the taller detective made a startling conclusion.

"YOU BASTARD!" Kunikida roared as he threw himself at Ranpo. The man's actions startled the tiny golden bird, and it quickly darted towards the unbothered director and took shelter behind his head. The photo that Kunikida had in his possession earlier slowly fluttered to the floor at the stern-faced man's feet.

"Get off of me! What the hell did I do?!" Ranpo shouted as he tried to pry the taller man's hands from his collar.

"Kunikida-san? What's gotten into you?" Yosano wasn't shocked at Kunikida's sudden outburst. Heaven only knows how many times the neurotic man does that on a daily basis. No, what shocked her was that he would suddenly attack his coworker with the intention to do harm.

"DON'T YOU DARE PLAY INNOCENT WITH ME! YOU KNOCKED HER UP, DIDN'T YOU!" Kunikida yelled out at the top of his voice.

A pregnant pause filled out the entire room. It was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

"…Pffft." The shortest male in the room broke the tension as he dissolved into laughter. "If this is how you're going kill me, Kunikida-kun, you're on the right track! GYAHAHAHAHA!"

"What's so funny?" Kunikida said, glaring down at his intended murder victim.

"You think that… AHAHAHAHA! If you just read the letter, you'd know that Teddy-kun here is adopted." Ranpo gestured towards the letter still in his hand.

Snatching the paper from him, he quickly read through it. His bloodthirsty rage was quickly replaced with wave after wave of embarrassment the further he read. "Besides, what makes you think that I had sexual intercourse with JK-chan anyways?" Ranpo asked his comrade as he shoved off Kunikida's now limp grip from his clothes.

Regaining his composure, the man replied to his comrade. "There was a case you took in Tokyo several years ago. You took your sweet time solving it. I ended up having to be the one to come and drag you back after the Director found out you got distracted by the local sweets festival a few towns over. Who knows, JK-chan had been traveling a lot at that time so you could've rendezvous with her." Kunikida remembered that incident clearly based on the resulting migraine that came from it. It had taken him three whole days just to locate the agency's wayward detective. His entire schedule in just those few days was completely destroyed beyond all reason.

"Except that I clearly remember her being nowhere near Asia while I was on that case. Belgium, to be specific. I should know because she sent over a box of some really tasty chocolates." The self-proclaimed ability user retorted as he straightened out his clothes.

"By the way, there's just one thing I've been wondering. Who is this 'JK-chan' all of you keep referring to?" Yosano asked.

"She's Kunikida and Ranpo's penpal from England." The director of the Armed Detective Agency explained to his subordinate before turning his attention to the other males in the room. "I believe she's currently vacationing around the world with her former schoolmates. Speaking of which, where is she now?"

"I think she's in the Canada. Or is it Alaska?" Kunikida guessed.

"Wrong! That was 3 weeks ago. She's been touring going around South America this whole month. By tomorrow, she'll be in Brazil. " Ranpo corrected him.

"That's not right! I'm positively sure she's somewhere up North eating pancakes with maple syrup." Kunikida retorted.

"Oh? Prove me wrong then. I'd love to see you try." The shorter man challenged his taller coworker.

Ignoring the bickering duo, Fukuzawa bent down to grab the forgotten picture off the floor and then looked back and forth from the still arguing Ranpo to the young child several times as if comparing the two. After that, he put it down on Ranpo's desk then walked towards his adopted son and put his hand on the twenty-three year old's shoulder. "Ranpo…I am arranging an omiai for you."

Ranpo replied to his foster parent in a deadpan voice, "Over my dead body, old man."

AN: I was bored and wanted to put this scene in. There will be more to come~

Tori-chan: For those that don't know, "tori" means bird. Introducing Snitch the Snidget from PsychAnalyst's Secret Affairs!

Quote: "I hereby grand Kuroyuki-Kokuyoku express permission to use Snitch as Jasmine's avian familiar." -PsychAnalyst

This may be her first appearance thus far, but she'll eventually show up in Chapter 5 of the main storyline. Not only that, but her role will be expanded in future chapters.

Omiai: Japanese arranged marriage. It's normally arranged by parents whose sons and daughter are aged 22-30 and have shown little or no interest in finding a partner of their own. It basically consists of several meetings with potential candidates. Usually, a pair had to make their decision to become engaged or reject the other by the third meeting.

Edited (6/19/17)

Thanks for reading, and please don't hesitate to give me feedback. (OᗜO)