I Got Your Back
Rating: T
Pairing/Characters: Rick Grimes, Daryl Dixon
Warnings: spoilers for season 3, language, slash, same-sex pairing, AU
Disclaimer: I do not own anything.
Summary: Rick and Daryl talk one night at the prison and discover that they need each other more than they know. Rick/Daryl, AU, Angst, Same-Sex Pairing
It's late at night in the prison. Everyone in the group is asleep and the cell block is quiet. The moonlight shines in the window and creates a dim light that fills Daryl's cell. He finally decided moving into one of the cells was a better option than sleeping on that perch. He can't sleep. He rolls out of the dusty bed and turns on a flashlight which illuminates the small room. He stands and looks into a mirror on the wall left by the cell's former occupant. He reaches up and drags a hand across his cheek feeling the stubble. He stares blankly for a moment at his reflection in the dimly lit room. His mind is racing, thinking about everything the group has been through. About Sophia and Carol and Herschel's leg…..And Rick. He's grown so close to Rick in such a short time over the winter. He's come to admire Rick so much that he feels as though he'd follow the man to hell and back. When the group overtook the prison he followed Rick's lead and didn't question him, not for one second. "I can't sleep so I might as well shave now to keep myself busy." He thinks to himself. He goes through his bag and finds his hand mirror, his knife and a small cloth to wipe the blade off with. He pulls out a can of shaving cream that he picked up on the road and has been using sparingly. He sits on the edge of his bed, squeezes a small amount in his palm and rubs the foam into the side of his cheeks being careful not to get any on his goatee. Looking in his hand mirror, he holds the knife up to the side of his face about to shave.
A shadowy, familiar figure suddenly appears at the cell opening. "Couldn't sleep either huh?" Daryl looks up to see Rick standing in the doorway, his thin muscular physique illuminated by the moonlight. "It's kinda dark; you want some help with that?"
Daryl stops and looks at the man he admires so much. He wishes they were closer and he feels his stomach churn. He's glad Rick is awake also. "Sure," he says softly and slowly hands out the knife to Rick. A bit of shaving cream still lingers on the edge of the blade.
Rick takes the knife and sits on the edge of the bed next to Daryl. Daryl hands Rick the small cloth. "Glenn's keeping watch." Rick says as he scoots closer to Daryl. He holds the knife up in one hand like a music conductor holding his baton. Slowly and carefully Rick runs the blade down the side of Daryl's cheek leaving a clean strip of smooth skin. He starts to talk about his plans for the group to fill the empty silence. "It was a long hard winter but we gotta keep pushing on. We gotta keep fighting." He says. "Just like Shane said back on the farm, 'if you wanna stay alive you gotta fight.'" Rick has talked about Shane the whole winter. Daryl feels as though everything Rick does now has become a 'what would Shane do?' circumstance. Daryl can't help but feel a little jealous.
Daryl stares blankly ahead at the wall in front of him. He feels a closeness with Rick and is able to speak his feelings of discouragement freely, "Rick, what are we gonna do in here with no water and nothing to eat?"
"We'll go out. Make runs. Find supplies just like we've been doing. And if there's one positive thing from this we learned not to step over any walkers when we think they're dead. We gotta make sure we pile up all the bodies and burn them." He gently pulls Daryl's face towards his so he can start shaving his other cheek. "You know, I couldn't have done this without you." He says as he carefully drags the blade down.
"I been thinking…and I was wonderin if….." Daryl looks at Rick hanging on his next word, "If you'd take over as leader of the group."
"What? Nah man you're doin' just fine." Daryl says with abhorrence.
"I shoulda let Shane do it when he was alive. I shoulda let him take over. Maybe that's part of what drove him crazy. I don't want that to happen again."
Daryl looks at Rick, he wishes he could take all his pain away. There's a needling question in the back of his mind that he's always wanted to ask. "It was Shane that you loved wasn't it?" His voice is soft and sincere. Almost a whisper.
"Yeah…I suppose I still do"
"Well, Shane was a tough 'ol, stubborn son of a bitch," Daryl says. Rick nods as he looks down and wipes the blade clean with the cloth. "I guess you loved him for that"
Rick pauses,"Did I?" He looks down at the floor, "I loved Shane because he was my best friend. Because he took care of Lori and Carl for me while I was gone. Because he saved Carl's life when he got shot." Rick raises his head and starts speaking more directly, "Shane and I had a friendship before all this. Before the world went to hell, and no one can take that away from me." He looks at Daryl and lays the knife down on the bed, "And now you and I have a friendship and I don't intend to let anything take that away from me. Not the walkers, or the end of the world, or any human enemy. And now I'm worried that the group is all stressed out and tired and they're gonna start turning against me."
Daryl reaches out and puts his hand on Rick's shoulder. "Rick you don't gotta worry about me man. I got your back." Rick looks at Daryl and a faint smile appears on his lips. His emotions overcome him. He pulls Daryl towards him and wraps his arms around the man in a loving embrace.
Rick squeezes Daryl tightly. Daryl feels the warmth and sincerity in Rick's hug and he returns it immediately. And for a moment it feels like the world will be alright. This is what Daryl has needed all along. "I'll always have your back buddy." He says.