"A story has no beginning or end; arbitrarily one chooses that moment of experience from which to look back or from which to look ahead.—Graham Greene,The End of the Affair (1951)"

CHAPTER I

Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does.

/

The day Santana returns to William McKinley High is the first of many lasts and the last of many firsts.
As she steps out of her car into the warm-but-not-hot Summer air, she adjusts the Cheerios uniform she adorns, smoothing out the creases it has somehow managed to acquire in the short span of time since she has put it on. Her eyes survey the car park and the area surrounding the entrance of the school. There's a sort of nervous, jumpy energy that the atmosphere is teeming with and Santana thinks it's kind of contagious.

Students are milling around, she notes; a group of juniors chat animatedly amongst themselves; sophomore girls gaze longingly at the retreating backs of the football team. Santana's nose wrinkles at the lovestruck looks on their faces. She shakes her head and rolls her eyes before turning her attention elsewhere.
She finds Kurt in amongst the crowd. He's the first familiar face she's seen today, granted that he is kind of hard to miss—dressed in god-knows-what. It doesn't matter though, Santana acknowledges that he has good taste and although she wouldn't wear something like that, if he can pull it off then kudos to the boy.
Santana watches as Kurt pushes through the crowd and almost leaps into the arms of a guy with jet black hair slickly gelled back...The name Blaine floats to the forefront of her mind. Santana vaguely recalls his entirely too vibrant, bright and all-things-happy presence in Glee Club last year. (Didn't he transfer, then stayed for like a month before vanishing?)

She's still standing by her car, so caught up in watching Kurt lead Blaine away into the crowd that she doesn't notice the girl that has approached her, albeit, a little tentatively.

"Santana?"

Santana starts a little at the unexpected greeting. Turning around she is met with the short stature and gleamingly hopeful eyes of the one and only, annoying and overbearing Rachel Berry.

"What is it Hobbit?" She snaps, realising far too late that she may have sounded a bit too harsh. It is the first day. She has a whole year to torture Rachel.

Despite the caustic way she delivers her reply, Berry does not seemed too fazed.

"I have a proposition for you."

Rachel raises a hand when she sees that Santana is about to interrupt. Santana's eye roll notwithstanding, Rachel continues on.
"With it being our Senior year, I think it would be best if we were to place aside our previous hostilities and strive to achieve mutual understanding and respect for each other. I believe it would be mutually beneficial."
Rachel pauses slightly. "I know that this may be hard for you but I would really appreciate it and..."

Santana turns around and shuts the door of her car, pressing a button on her car keys; the succeeding two beeps indicating that the doors have been locked.

"Whatever Berry. I get what you're saying. I'll think about it, but now I got to go."
Without a further glance backward, Santana leaves the other girl behind her and strides towards the blue Volkswagen that had just arrived in the car park.

She's halfway there when the thought hits her hard and she freezes.

This is it.

This is her (and Britt's) Senior year, her final year to bask in the warmth of her high school glory; and if the previous years are any indication of how this year will pan out, then this year's going to be fucking crazy.

"Tana!"
It's the only warning she gets before she is engulfed by the arms of the tall blonde, with Brittany's chin resting on her shoulder and their cheeks pressed, flushed, together. The unexpected impact makes her stagger and they both almost go tumbling but Santana finds her footing in the last possible second.

Their arms are still locked around each other when Brittany pulls back so that they can look into each others' eyes.

"Sorry. I was too excited to see you." The blonde giggles. Santana finds herself grinning back at Brittany, a warm feeling settling at the bottom of her stomach.

"It's okay, Britts. I was excited to see you too."

"I can't believe this Santana! We're finally Seniors!" Brittany grins.

"Yep. We sure are."

They break apart and Santana holds up her pinkie for Brittany to take with her own. Their entwined pinkies swing between them as they walk towards the school.

"Do you want to-"
"Have you seen-"

They both speak at the same time and realising the other is talking, abruptly cut themselves off simultaneously. Santana stares silently at Brittany and Brittany does the same. It's almost comical, Santana thinks.
Santana gently nudges Brittany. The tall blonde doesn't need anymore prompting. With years of friendship under their belts, Santana finds it comforting that they can communicate like this—silently.

"Have you seen Quinn anywhere?"

The question catches Santana off guard because firstly, Quinn hasn't even crossed her mind once today and Santana kind of feels guilty for it; and secondly, Quinn is Quinn and Santana is Santana. Santana and Quinn haven't been, well, San and Q for a long time...Their friendship is practically on the rocks.

Let's just say, they aren't talking at the moment. (At least there are no more slap-fests or hallway fights).

To come to think of it, the only interaction she had with Quinn over the past month was asking Quinn about something so trivial that Santana had forgotten what the thing was in the first place. And Quinn being Quinn hadn't replied and left her to face the mocking timestamp (18:36) and the word "seen".

If that isn't indicative of Quinn's clear "fuck you" stance, then Santana doesn't know what is.
"Umm, no, I haven't seen Quinn today." Santana pauses, trying to recall what it is that she was going to ask Brittany beforehand. "I'm sure she'll turn up to Cheerios practice... Oh, that's what I was going to ask. You want to watch the Sue Sylvester recruiting process, Britts?"

Brittany laughs, eyes twinkling like drops of dew catching the morning light. A hint of mischief shines through. "They won't know what hit them. Do you remember how horrible that was Tana? I think I lost my soul that day. Now I can't sing soul music...like 'Say A Little Prayer' anymore..." The blonde pouts sadly.

"I think I did too."

"What?"

"Lost my soul."

"But you didn't have one."

"Brittany!"

"You're Satan-ana." With that Brittany starts laughing so hard that her eyes water and she doubles over gasping for breath. Santana's frown slowly melts away, replaced by a smile. She rolls her eyes in an attempt to offset the grin that is spreading across her face. Brittany stops laughing suddenly and crosses her legs awkwardly. "I need to pee." She says in a serious and urgent tone. Santana shakes her head at he best friend's actions, her heart beating a little faster.

Santana finds it in herself to smile a little. She spent an entire summer in the company of her distant and detached parents, who only talked to her when it was absolutely necessary. The memories of her Summer brings a hard lump to her throat. Struggling with herself, Santana tries to push away the feeling of emptiness, of heaviness that settles over her like a cloud of dust. Though she won't admit it, Santana felt lonely.

Santana thought she'd never say this but she's glad that school has started up again. It offers her escape. Escape from the empty shell of a house that her parents call "home". For some reason, the word doesn't settle right, and her stomach churns and twists uncomfortably.

But then she thinks of Brittany's bright disposition; the way warmth seems to follow her wherever she goes. Santana thinks about the way Brittany breathes into her neck when they cuddle on the couch; thinks of the many kisses they've shared in the janitor's closet.

She'll be brave enough one day, Santana decides. She thinks about being able to steal a kiss out in the open.

And it's enough. It eases the pangs of loneliness stabbing at her heart, coaxing them into submission.

"Hurry B, or we'll be late to class. We still need to go to our lockers."

/

Glee is the last period of Santana's day and she finds herself exhausted as she trudges into the choir room. She's early for once and it's clearly a surprise to both herself and Quinn Fabray- the only other person currently in the room.

"Quinn..." She breathes out. Santana's not sure whether she's shocked at seeing Quinn in the choir room or just at the sight of the girl who had 'disappeared' over the summer break.

Surprise is evident on the other girl's face as well. Santana finds this herself, in a momentary lapse, perhaps in a split second, when Quinn's guard is down. It's etched on the blonde's face in such a suiting way, her eyebrows rise slightly, almost imperceptibly, her pink lips part, and her long lashes flicker as she blinks in surprise. It's all there, just for brief moment, frozen in time, but enough for Santana to catch. It passes and Quinn's face regains her graceful composure, her lips form a thin line, her eyes now hard-edged and cold, losing the curious yet bemused sparkle that they held only moments ago.

The corner of Quinn's lip twitches and it looks like she's going to say something but Santana hears only the silence that follows.

Friends my ass. Santana thinks bitterly.

When Santana focuses her attention back onto the blonde again, she finds Quinn has returned to the book on her lap, with her eyes skipping across the page as she reads. It's as if Santana had never entered the room and they had never exchanged looks. Santana frowns.

Six years. This is what six years of friendship meant to Quinn Fabray. A surprised expression is what six years of friendship is worth in Fabray's books. Fucking pathetic. Not even a nod of the head, not even a greeting. Santana feels a visceral anger and resentment boiling within her, it rises up and leaves an acidic burn in its wake and Santana clenches her jaw in an attempt to quell its advance. She fights the urge to storm out of the choir room or even to slap her former friend, just to gain even a fraction of the blonde's attention...but she doesn't do either of those. Instead Santana forces herself to settle for moving across the room to seat herself as far away from Quinn as is physically possible; her jaw still clenched and eyes now stinging. The degree of psychological reaction Santana feels from Quinn's coolness irks herself.

Santana huffs.

They aren't even friends and Santana knows well enough that this is typical Quinn behaviour. Avoidance. Freezing people out etcetera etcetera. Yet she was still caught off guard. Something in the depths of her heart may have foolishly believed that this could have panned out differently.

Maybe Santana can't help but think, because it is a new year, because they are supposed to have a new start, that maybe, just maybe it will be different.

Well fuck that. And fuck you too Fabray.

Oh great and now she's really angry.

The bell rings alarmingly loud and it cuts through the silence of the room like a sharp blade. Santana glances over at Quinn before looking at the clock.

After another five minutes, the other Glee club members begin slowly filing into the room, they bring with them a wave of energy, filled with excitement and hope for the new year, one that had existed within herself a few minutes ago only to be crushed by the other girl in the room. The onslaught of positive energy the glee members bring completely clashes with Santana's quietly brewing annoyance. Brittany, being her perceptive self picks up on this immediately and skips all chatter with her fellow glee club members and instead bounds over to Santana.

"Hi Tana...are you okay?"
Santana just nods slightly.

Santana can see that Brittany's not convinced and her blue eyed friend sits down next to her without a second word, and gently links their pinkies together. "Ok then."

Santana tightens her pinkies around Brittany's wishing that she could kiss her instead. Brittany seems to read her thoughts and turns to her, her blue eyes so clear—the colour of a cloudless sky, and winks at her before leaning closer and whispering soon into her ear. The word has its intended effect and Santana feels shivers dancing down her spine. Santana smirks as Brittany places a chaste kiss on her cheek and rests her head against the Latina's shoulder. Santana relaxes. Brittany's presence once again subdues her anger and Santana finds that it leaves the fluttering of a thousand butterflies in its wake. Her skin burns and the need to meld their lips together increases tenfold, but Santana knows she can't.

Not with so many people here.

Santana feels eyes on her but she dismisses them, they are probably Puck's anyways.

Everyone quietens down, now that they have exchanged stories about their own holidays. Santana's eyes meet Brittany's again and she tries to convey the magnitude of love she is feeling to the taller blonde. In response to this, Brittany inconspicuously slides her hand into Santana's own, and hides their now joined hands from sight with her body; giving the Latina's hand a gentle squeeze in the process.

Santana watches as everyone takes their seats, she feels Puck's presence behind her, sees Rachel and Finn take up their spots in the middle of the front row and notes that Quinn has put away her book and was talking to Mercedes. When had Quinn and Mercedes had became friends? Santana's heart stings slightly when she realises that she doesn't know anything about her supposed 'best friend' of six years anymore.

The door of the choir room swings open and a tall blonde woman clad in a red tracksuit strides in.
"Listen up, because I'm only going to say this once." Everyone in the room freezes in shock at the sound of the voice that is unmistakably Coach Sylvester's.

"Listen you group of misfits and losers, with exception of the few Cheerios in here, this sad excuse of an extracurricular club will now be run by me."

Santana watches as all hell breaks lose and just sits there with her mouth open unable to comprehend the full implications of this latest development. However, there were others that had the ability to voice their objections and confusion—Rachel Berry.

"Excuse me Coach, but I think there has been a misunderstanding that has happened here. I believe that Mr Schuester is still in charge of Glee Club and I feel it would be inappropriate for you to take over."

"Well, Bossy Midget, there has not. I am here to take over his pathetic singing group."

"Why would you! You just want to destroy Glee club!" Artie shouts. There is a chorus of murmured agreement.

"Yes Wheels, while it is true that I hate this New Directions, I hate losing more than I hate William Schuester and this glee. I cannot stand by and watch this club ruin the reputation of McKinley anymore. Nor can I have the Cheerios associated with such a disgusting reputation."

"Where's Mr Schue?"

"He got fired." Sue replies dismissively.

Sue turns around and writes on the board in large letters.

GLEE CLUB.

"Now that we have that settled. You will all follow my rules if you want to win anything at all, got it?"
Everyone stays silent.

RULES:
-no more solos due to blatant favouritism. All solos must be earned.
-assignments must be completed on time and by everyone
-assignment pair for duets will be drawn out of a hat
-no put downs
-no slacking allowed
-lateness will not be tolerated
-any other rules will be added as I see fit

"This week's assignment is to come up with a new name for glee club. New Directions is a disgusting name and it sounds like something only rats would eat."

Santana watches the grim expressions that have now settled on the others' faces. So much for hope and optimism right?

"Since this is the first day, and you must be pathetically tired, you are now dismissed. Don't expect this again. Now get out of my sight, I have things to attend to." Sue turns around and walks out.

Santana finds herself groaning internally. How was she going to survive a glee club run by Sue Sylvester. She knew what it was like to be on a team run by Sylvester...

When Santana unintentionally bumps into Quinn on her way out of the choir room, their eyes meet and Santana thinks she catches a flash of something in them; and for the first time in maybe weeks, months, or years, Santana doesn't see any of the usual animosity that is present; instead there is something else and despite what happened earlier in the choir room, for some unfathomable reason, Santana thinks that things are finally changing.
/

A/N: slow-ish development at the start of the fic, so bare with me :) I will get round to updating This Love Will Be Your Downfall eventually. Thanks for reading (reviews welcome). :) trying to have updates at least once a month (would update more regularly but I'm a senior and school's shit busy).

my thank you goes out to my beta LadyRaeXP for putting up with my lengthy chapters etc.