Sorry it's been so long since I've posted something, but I've had a little writers block. This is much darker than my other poems. Mac is having inner termoil about how his life is going. SMacked is hinted at. Hope you enjoy this poem. It doesn't rhyme at all, or I don't think it does. Much emotion is poured into this one, and often when I do that, they don't rhyme. Please read and review when you're done. :)
Disclaimer: I don't own CSI:NY, but if I did it would be fun times. :D
Give It All Up
Sometimes I wonder
If it's really worth it
To lose two important people
The only ones I've loved
Bust my hump over again
Do the job I've always loved
To reach for the goals I've set
When no one's waiting for me
Cheering for me
At the finish line
It's just an empty street
Abandoned and alone.
Still surrounded by friends
But loneliness surrounds me
When I'm at home
It feels like the air's suffocating
The walls get closer and closer
Feel there's no breath to take
Just want to get out
Give it all up
Go and find her
Tell her that I love her
But it's all just a thought,
Though it never passes
Don't think I have the strength.
I put on a front
But behind this mask
Is a sad, desperate man
Who only wants to weep,
Run away, and never look back
Find a new purpose in life
Because this old one's getting bleak
Nothing left to do
No one else to save
Scratch that, there's still me
I have a fighting chance
But to do so I have to stand
Upon my own two feet
They've been wobbly since she left
'Cuz I spend my time on my knees
Praying for a sign
Want to know what to do
Even though I know the answer
Life can be complicated;
Not as simple as it seems
Which I never understood
It truly is an amusement ride
And sometimes you want off
Even if for a fleeting moment.
Should I just go through the motions
Or pack up and restart?
Take the easy way out
And be miserable
For the remainder of my years
Give up on what I actually want
What I've longed for
And keep hitting forks in the road
Or do what is right
Do what I long for
Turn around
And never turn back again?
So...? Do I dare ask? Hope you enjoyed my take on how Mac is feeling since Stella left (and of course Claire being gone for so long, too). I haven't even wanted to watch this new season recently. I miss Stella and Mac's relationship. :( Oh, and apparently writers block only happens for me when it's stories, since poems still come to me. It is my 'specialty.' Or at least I'm going to say it is. :D
Review please 'cuz you just might get a digital chocolate chip cookie. I baked them myself. ;) Haha, sure... but seriously, I'd love a review right about now. I could use some drive to write. :D