A/n: this is my first LOTR story, sorry if it's bad writing, I haven't much skill. Plus it's only my 3rd story written by choice. I have a happy mind thought, that at lest makes it an interesting story.
No I do not like merry, hobbits have hairy feet.
Note: don't own people, would feel bad for them if I did. Sorry if they out of character.
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Set after ROTK and middle-earth is a bit more revolutionized. Don't ask for reasoning of things, if it happens then it just does. Sorry if not accurate, didn't finish ROTK
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Amber fell back onto her bed and stared up into the eyes of Merry. Of course it was only a poster of Dominic Monaghan, but same thing.
Looking up dreamily, she muttered, "Tula lle a'maelamin."(A/n: come to me oh beloved one, or something like that. I don't know sindarin 2 well)
With a blinding flash, someone suddenly appeared before her.
"Where am I? Oh never mind. Stand back evil one, or I will let my arrow loose, and you would not like that." Legolas threatened even though he couldn't see anything due to the little green spots dancing around in his eyes.
"No! I don't want you!" Amber cried after she realized what had happened. The elf just stared at her. She stared back.
So then with another blinding flash, now there were blue dancing spots, Legolas disappeared.
Whoa, that was freaky, Amber thought. Hmmmmm. let's experiment with this. Elvish words bring elves, so normal words bring hobbits.
Feeling extremely stupid, Amber stood up and muttered, "Come to me, oh beloved one."
Another blinding flash, and then a very vigorous hobbit appeared before her wearing only pants and a leather vest.
"So, how do you like that, my lord?" Merry whispered seductively, starting to remove his vest.
"Ve-ver-ry much." Amber replied, extremely shocked.
Then there was much screaming. "You-you're not Eomer." Merry stuttered, noticing that he was very scantily clad for a hobbit, having lost his vest somewhere during his hysterical screaming. "I must return to my divine Eomer."
"Wait! You can't go!" Amber screamed grabbing Merry's arm, she had some very interesting plans in mind for this hobbit.
Once again, there was a great big flash of light and they appeared in a bedroom. With a bed in it.
Which had Eomer in it.

Who was wearing not very much also.
"Um, Merry? Should we continue this sometime later? You seem preoccupied," Eomer noted as he stared at Amber who was attached to Merry's arm.

"Well, I'm not quite sure."

"Well, later would probably be a better time. Anyways, we should probably get going."
"Yes my lord, I believe that there might happen to be dinner in a couple of minutes."
"Very good, let us go." Eomer promptly got off the bed and walked into the hall.
"Yes, my lord. And my lord, I may I suggest putting all of your clothes on?"
"Oh, why thank you for reminding me, darling Merry."

Eomer walked back into the room and after a few minutes of confusion and looking for lost articles of clothing, he started to leave the room again.

"What about me?" Amber asked.
"You? Oh, come along." Eomer entered the hall yet again, although fully clothed this time.
The three walked on down to the great hall.
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As they entered the great hall, nearly all of the other guests were already there and turned to look at them.
"Welcome, Merry and Eomer, so you have come down at last." Aragorn stood and greeted the newest arrivals for like the millionth time. Damn, he thought, my legs hurt, I've said this over a million times, and there appear to be little black dots chasing me. I wonder who's free tonight?
"And who might this mysterious lady be?" He asked, thinking she looks free.
"Amber, your, um, highness?" she replied, totally in shock.
"Well then Amber, welcome to Gondor, would you like to join our dinner?"
"Sure." Amber was then shown a seat between Gandalf and Frodo.
All was going well at dinner, at least for the first five minutes, when Amber turned to Aragorn to compliment the food and found he wasn't there.
"Excuse me, Gandalf? Where is the king?"
"The king, what king?" Gandalf asked Amber, clearly uncomfortable.
"You know, the one who sat on the big chair at the end of the table, named Aragorn?"
"Ah, him. Well he's, um…" Gandalf paused to think, "not in his chair?"
"Okay, and those aren't rats making that scuffling noise under table right?"

"Scuffling noise, what scuffling noise? I don't hear any noise. Those aren't noises, they're…sounds."
"Ah, I see." Amber said.
Minutes later, the scuffling had changed to moaning and Amber noted that a certain dark-haired elf was also missing.
"Well, Miss Amber, how are you liking Gondor?" Frodo asked her loudly, trying to cover the noises from under the table.
"Well, it's um, nice and um, very interesting," she yelled back.
"That's good. It is very interesting, have you been in Middle-Earth before?" Frodo was screaming by this time.
"NO, IT'S MY FIRST TIME!"
"WELL YOU SHOULD VISIT OTHER PLACES LIKE THE SHIRE, AND ROHAN, AND RIVENDELL. THEY'RE REALLY NICE!"
Even yelling at the top of their lungs the dinner guests could not block out the couple underneath the table, but they could try. And try they did.
After nearly an hour of, um, interesting activities, Aragorn appeared in his chair, hair disheveled and clothing rumpled. The rest of the guests just stared at him, red-faced and hoarse.
"Well," Gandalf started, trying to break the silence, "these are really comfortable chairs."
"Yes, really nice." Amber agreed. "But you know what are even better?" Amber asked, lamely trying to carry on the conversation.
"What?" Gandalf asked, feeling like a huge idiot while the other people just stared at him.
"Massage chairs."
"Massage chairs?" he questioned, getting interested.
"Yeah, you know like a massage?" Gandalf nodded in response. "Well the chairs give you a massage. They feel really good, especially if your back hurts."
"Ohhhhh."
"It's almost as if they can feel where it hurts."
Gandalf's eyes widened, "Feel?"
"Uh-huh." Amber thought dreamily about how a massage would feel really good right now.
Gandalf looked around, eyes twitching. "Uh, Aragorn, I really don't need a chair. I'll just eat standing up."
"Is there something wrong?" Aragorn asked, worried.
"I do not appreciate being felt by chairs, however comfortable they are."
"What? If they feel you now they've been feeling you for a long time." Amber replied, trying to calm Gandalf down.
No such luck, Gandalf immediately turned, shouting, "You evil thing, you may have felt me for years, but now you shall feel my wrath!" With that he blew the chair up and repeatedly whacked the ashes with his staff.
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k, that's all. Sorry if bit odd, it gets better. Please r&r.