A/N: This was originally an idea for a Short Story, but I soon realized it was going to be too long to be included there. So I decided to make it its own story!
For the most part, it's meant to be humorous, but there's some definite dark stuff implied (especially considering my headcanons). That mention of Mai is another headcanon, and I may or may not write it in more detail.
And I couldn't help throwing in that little homage to another Grey DeLisle-voiced character. ;)
"Okay, you win," Azula said, as if they were in a middle of a conversation, and she hadn't just walked into Ty Lee's house without knocking, frightened her out of her wits after they hadn't seen each other properly in nearly four years, and uttered those words without any explanation.
Naturally, Ty Lee was more than slightly confused.
"Win…what?" she asked faintly. Then she belatedly remembered to put her fan down.
Azula tsked.
"Where are your manners? Aren't you going to invite me in?" she demanded.
"Um…oh. Yeah, sure."
Their last three meetings had involved Ty Lee defecting from Azula, Azula screaming obscenities at Ty Lee from her bed, and Azula, apparently not remembering the second encounter, escaping on the way back from the prison, respectively. Therefore, she couldn't help but to be a bit on edge. Azula had been discharged from the hospital a few weeks ago, but Zuko had said she might never be quite right in the head, and they'd have to be patient with her.
What should she do? Should she make tea? No, wait, Azula didn't like tea. She would offer Azula a seat, but all her chairs were covered with clothing and other items. In fact, her house in general was a huge mess, and she wished Azula could have given her an advance warning so she could clean it…
"Ahem."
Oh. Right.
"It's nice to see you again," Ty Lee ventured.
"Come now, you and I both know that you're barely restraining yourself from screaming and jumping out the window."
Well, she wasn't wrong. Rather than attempting to answer that, Ty Lee changed the subject and said, "So, if you don't mind me asking…why are you here?"
"Is it really that hard to believe that I wanted to drop in on an old acquaintance?"
"Y-yes?" Ty Lee quavered, then cringed as she waited for the blow to fall. But Azula snorted.
"And you'd be right. I came to ask a favor of you."
Oh no…
"I need you," here Azula paused dramatically, "to teach me how to have fun."
Wait, what?
That was a sentence Ty Lee never thought she'd hear from Azula's mouth. She hated the concept of fun; thought it was beneath her. In fact, when they were travelling in the Earth Kingdom, and Azula suspected her of doing anything even remotely frivolous, she'd make a point of exaggeratedly sniffing the air and intoning, "I smell fun." That was Ty Lee's cue to stop whatever she was doing immediately.
Oops…she'd missed what Azula had just said.
"Can you repeat that?" she asked. Azula rolled her eyes, but obliged.
"My doctors say I need to learn how to do it," she explained, "And I thought you were the person most qualified for the task. You remember, at Ember Island…?
Ty Lee did, of course, and said as much.
"Kind of like that. Except I want to get it right this time."
So here they were, at the Capital Island Annual Fair in the Harbor District, which coincidentally happened to be this week.
"This is where people go to have fun?" Azula asked skeptically.
"Yes! Well, it's not the only place, but it's one of the most popular around here," Ty Lee explained. She was a lot more comfortable now that she was in her element, so to speak.
Before Ty Lee could stop her, Azula strode to the front of the ticket line, prompting angry shouts of, "Hey! No cutting!"
"SILENCE, PEASANTS!" Azula bellowed. Ty Lee hurried over and tried to both placate her and lead her away as discreetly as possible.
"You wanted to go incognito, remember? Regular people have to wait their turn to get their tickets."
Azula pouted, but conceded, "I guess you are the expert here."
So they stood there, with Azula quietly but savagely mocking any perceived faults of the people in front of them (admittedly, some of it was pretty funny, but Ty Lee couldn't laugh too loudly for fear of them being kicked out). For her part, Ty Lee had to work hard to remember to stand still, with both of her feet on the ground.
Finally, they managed to obtain their admission tickets and ride tokens without incident, and walked into the park itself.
"Let me get this straight," Azula said. "People strap themselves into these…devices, and subject themselves to violent motion which often makes them vomit, and they enjoy it and come back for more?"
"Pretty much, yeah."
"Hmm…I do like machinery, so I suppose it's worth a try."
"That's the spirit!" Ty Lee said as she beamed. "Now which one do you want to try first? I'd suggest one of the smaller ones to start out with."
"Nonsense. We will-as they say-go big or go home!"
They ended up choosing one of the roller coasters because it was painted bright red. ("To hide the blood in case anyone falls out and splatters all over it! Clever!" Azula said brightly, causing several people to stare at them.) This time, Ty Lee knew to warn Azula that there would be another line, and Azula grumbled but didn't try to skip ahead.
This line moved more quickly than the last one, and they got into one of the cars in relatively good time.
A short time later, when the cars went over the first hill, people on the ground could have sworn they heard someone shouting, "YAAAAAA! FEAR ME, MORTALS!"
They ended up going on the roller coaster a total of five times before Ty Lee ventured that maybe they should give it a rest for now, since they were in danger of running low on tokens.
"We should find something to eat!" she decided. It's getting to be lunchtime, I think."
As they were walking, Azula said, "I think I was having fun on that. Although I'm not entirely sure what fun feels like."
Ty Lee considered. Azula did look happy…and not even in a mean way like she usually did.
"I'm not sure it's a thing that can be objectively judged by other people. But if you think you are, then you probably are!" she said.
By this time, they had found a food vendor. Azula scrutinized the menu.
"Deep-fried fire flakes? Aren't they fried to begin with? How would one fry them again?" she asked.
"Never underestimate the ability of concession stands to fry everything!" Ty Lee said. Then she added sagely, "I learned that in the circus."
"That doesn't sound very healthy to me."
"But you need to eat more…you're too thin!"
When Azula glared at her, Ty Lee rushed on…"I'm not trying to thin-shame you or anything. I remember what you look like at a healthy weight, and that's not it! After what Mai went through…" she broke off and shook her head.
Azula sighed and said, "Now don't all sad on me, all right?" But Ty Lee had won and they both knew it. They both ended up getting the fire flakes, (which had been dipped in batter and then re-fried) and Azula declared them to be "not bad, I guess."
They also got some dumplings and meat on skewers, because Azula said if they were going to have an unhealthy diet today, then it might as well be a balanced unhealthy diet.
The afternoon went by pleasantly. First they walked around some more, to give all that food time to settle, then they tried out some different rides. Azula was particularly enthralled by the ride that spun around so fast that one was stuck to the wall.
"There has to be some sort of military application for that technology!" she said excitedly.
Ty Lee had to remind her that her brother would probably not approve of her designing new war machines.
"You and Zuzu are both such killjoys," Azula answered, but she didn't seem angry.
Before they knew it, the sun was starting to sink in the sky and the park broadcast its half-hour warning for closing time.
On their way out, they made a quick stop for "supper" (Ty Lee squealed with delight when she saw one stand that offered fried pig-chicken legs, and informed Azula that one could not go to a fair without eating at least one). Once they'd left, Azula looked at Ty Lee expectantly.
"Do we have to stop having fun now?" she asked. Ty Lee thought.
Finally, she said, "I know where else we could go!"
This was how they ended up at the Bayside Bar.
"Have you even been here before?" Azula asked as she eyed it warily.
"Uh-huh, lots of times! It's close to a university, which means there's usually a lot of hot guys there! And everyone's drinking, so no one will notice if you're a bit awkward."
Azula narrowed her eyes and said, "Who's awkward?" But she let the matter drop, since the promise of hot guys appeared to intrigue her.
Ty Lee had always loved to flirt. She'd never had much of an interest in going any further (at least not with men), but sitting there, being the center of attention, sometimes even getting free drinks…there was scarcely any activity she liked better.
And Azula appeared to be enjoying herself too. She was approached by someone almost immediately, who said, "Hey, you look a lot like whatsherface…that crazy princess."
Azula did that loud laugh of hers (one day they were going to have to work on that), but the guy didn't seem to mind.
They struck up a conversation, but Ty Lee couldn't hear it over the background noise…plus, her own group of admirers was demanding she pay attention to them.
When she looked back some time later, Azula and Random Guy were making out; Azula was straddling his lap. And they were getting really into it, too. She cringed. As far as she could tell, Azula had only had two drinks, but was acting like she'd had at least double that amount.
Ty Lee did have some practice with holding her liquor. Once a year, if possible, all the Kyoshi warriors met and got totally smashed, in honor of their founder, who had allegedly never found a single person who could outdrink her. Azula, alas, did not appear to have Avatar Kyoshi's resistance to intoxication.
Maybe coming here was a bad idea.
"Hey! Why do you keep looking at her? You want to be in that man's place or something?" one of her flirting crew asked.
"Maybe I do!" Ty Lee retorted.
This was not the answer her erstwhile admirer had been expecting.
"Huh?" was his very intelligent response. Ty Lee used this opportunity to chi-block him.
"Hey! Fight!" someone yelled, then someone else threw a stool at a third party's head, and the third party threw a bowl of fire flakes back, and soon everyone was brawling with everyone else for no reason except they felt like it. The air was full of miscellaneous flying objects; Ty Lee could have sworn she even saw a pair of dirty socks go sailing past her. But it didn't last for long, because the bartender slammed his hands on the counter with impressive volume.
"GET OUT! ALL OF YOU!" he yelled.
To be honest, Ty Lee couldn't say she was very disappointed. Now she had an excuse for getting Azula and…
Wait. Where was Azula?
In the chaos, she and her guy had somehow snuck out.
Shit. (Ty Lee had never been one for cursing, but if there was a time to do it, it was now.)
Her heart dropped into her viscera as she dashed out the door, elbowing the other people out of the way, then rose at least back up around her diaphragm when she saw that Azula had only made it halfway down the block. Her companion was already having some difficulty with walking due to inebriation, and Azula was currently draped over his shoulders like a cloak, which made their progress even slower.
"AZULA!" she called out, then realized. Double shit. Thankfully, the guy seemed too drunk to notice.
Instead, Ty Lee settled for asking, "What do you think you are doing?" as she stomped up to them.
"Getting some!" Azula cried gleefully.
"No no no. We're supposed to be having fun, remember? That's not fun. You could get some nasty…something…or something."
"BUT I'M HORNY!" Azula shouted at the top of her lungs, causing her male companion to cringe from the noise. Then she said a touch more quietly, "I haven't gotten any in…wait…what's numbers again?"
Oh boy. She was definitely, completely, totally drunk.
Meanwhile, the guy, who had realized his conquest had been thwarted, deposited Azula on the sidewalk and slouched off.
"You made him go away," Azula said in a disappointed tone, as if Ty Lee couldn't see it for herself.
"Let's go home now, okay?" Ty Lee suggested. Azula didn't answer.
Ty Lee looked down. Azula had fallen asleep right there on the sidewalk. She managed to drag her over to the curb and flag down a rickshaw. But right as they were getting in, Azula's companion (who still wasn't walking very fast) turned around and pointed an accusing finger at them.
"Hey wait a minute…that is Princess Crazy, isn't it? Hey guys!"
Yep, now was a very good time to get out of here.
After Zuko had showed up in person at her house at the crack of dawn the next morning to yell at her, Ty Lee was sitting in her living room, reading the newspaper (their exploits had made it to Page Two) and drinking green tea for her headache, when she heard a crash. Azula had gotten up and was attempting to walk from the bedroom to the living room without removing her sleeping mask (borrowed from Ty Lee). This had resulted in her bumping into a hallway end table.
Ty Lee hurried over, and thinking the mask might be stuck, made to remove it, but Azula growled, "Touch that, and I will hurt you."
Oh, right. The sunlight must be aggravating to her…condition. So she helped Azula over to a chair (sweeping aside the clothes that were still on there) and sat her down. It was rather eerie, Azula sitting there silently, facing in Ty Lee's general direction, with that big mask on.
Finally, Ty Lee said, "I'm so, so sorry about last night."
The mask said, "Hrmph."
"Um…so I realize that taking you to that bar was a big mistake, and I'm not sure what I can do to make it up to you…"
"First of all, you can shut up before you make my head explode."
"Oh. Sorry again." Ty Lee said as quietly as she could.
"Second of all, I…I don't regret it, oddly enough. True, you should have warned me there's so much alcohol in…uh…alcohol," -here Azula tried to lift her mask up a tiny bit, grimaced, and hurriedly put it back on- "but I was supposed to learn how to have fun, and for the most part I think I did."
Ty Lee ventured (speaking almost in a whisper), "You know, fun can be quiet too."
"An excellent suggestion," the mask proclaimed, and for the rest of the morning they had plenty of fun simply being quiet.