A/N: To make up for the massive writers block on several of my unfinished stories, I hope you will count this as a treat. I'll keep adding to this as I come up with more poetry ideas. As always, feedback is more than welcome! I do not own Phantom of the Opera or any of its characters.
Where I Belong
A poem by Erik James Dupree*
Written when planning the chandelier crash
Where does a creature such as I belong?
In darkness, obviously, solitary, alone.
Imprisoned for a lifetime
The punishment fitting, but what was my crime?
This face is a poison, it seems,
A poison inflicting fear in all who sees
A poison which inflicts myself with torture
Painful nightmares, impossible dreams
Dreams which began so long ago-
Oh to be normal…oh to be whole…
In my mind I was a son, a brother,
To the families walking by
I saw them from my cage
Listened to their laughter
And words of love—
Toward each other of course…
Who would love me?
But in my dreams, the love was there
Those families were mine
I was in their care.
Just dreams…nothing more…
In my dreams, I was like any other
Blending in, not ever causing
Them to turn my way a second time
And stare
In my mind, I could be in
The middle without being
The center of attention—
Such negative attention—
And I could focus on the opera
Without thinking about
Who could see—who could know
That this face was among them.
But then I saw…
I saw them from behind walls
And above in my Box
Their painted faces
And masking smiles
Never the same person
To more than one person
As they tortured me
When I was just….me…
And not the Phantom, O.G.—
They attend the opera
When they themselves are the show
Why attend a masquerade
When they are one every day?
For this reason, I place their fate in my hands
They condemned me for being real
I condemn them for being fake
I know I belong in darkness
They pretend to belong in the light
We are all creatures of darkness
As they will soon see
Let the curtain fall
On their charade
Once and for all!
Part Two
I step over the pieces
Of my shattered dreams
Into the darkness once more
Without her…
Why did I let her go?
Perhaps I love her more than I thought.
No matter.
She is gone
The music is gone.
I am…gone.
Wait…
What is that light—
A bluish glow ahead?
I move toward it
Who dares bring a lantern
Down here to pursue me?
No…
Not a lantern…
A…cross?
My inner rage grows stronger
Why would He make me like this?
Why would he dare to pay me a visit?
But…the cross…
I read of such…
In my collection of books
I have obtained a Bible…
If only to figure out why…
In Psalms it says I am wonderfully made…
I have my doubts about that…
Still, I kept reading
I kept searching
And I came across the puzzle
That is the cross…
It said He died for me
It said He loved me…
Why? WHY?
Why should I believe that
When all my life I have
Been tortured by this…FACE!
Was it the face or the world's reaction?
What? Who said that?
Answer me.
Well, I…suppose…it was the world…
I am not of the world. I created it.
He created me..
That's why He loves me…
All my artwork, I put myself into
I….I understand…
I am not the "Devil's Child"
I…can be Your child…
The cross…
I know I am not perfect
Inside or out
But for me, You died
I no longer doubt
You are the piece
My heart has been missing
The piece I tried filling
With my love for Christine…
If it is not too late…
I choose to accept You
As You have accepted me
I know now where I belong
I belong in eternity with You.
*actual author: Evening Starbossa