I originally intended to write this for Stydia Week, but college made sure that didn't happen. Oh well. Enjoy!
Lydia sat at the table, watching the dancing crowd. The music was pounding, the fast beat starting to make her head hurt, but she couldn't help but smile at Scott and Kira trying to dance to the fast song.
She shifted her gaze slightly, finding Stiles and Malia. The coyote actually seemed to be doing pretty well, in Lydia's opinion, and she was happy that Malia got to have this human experience. But something still sparked within her when Malia put her hands around Stiles neck as she grinded her hips. Stiles put his hand on her hips, trying to match her beat.
There was one more couple that should've been dancing together, but that was never going to happen now. The boy was in France, and the girl…well, the girl was gone.
Lydia looked away, taking a drink of punch. She wished that it was something much stronger.
"Hey, Lydia," Danny said, coming to sit down next to her.
"Hi," she replied, smiling. "Where's your date?"
"Bathroom," he told her. "Where's yours?"
She looked back down at her punch, embarrassed, before flashing him a confident smile. Atleast she hoped it looked confident. "I don't have one."
"Really?" he asked, surprised. "Lydia Martin doesn't have a date for prom?"
"Why should I limit myself to one person?" she said. "I like keeping my options open."
He raised an eyebrow at her. "Really?"
"No," she answered. She cleared her throat, trying to get rid of the lump in it. "No one asked me. Apparently no one wants to go to prom with the screaming lunatic."
Danny's expression softened, and he put a hand over hers. "You don't know that. They're probably all just intimidated."
Lydia's vision blurred as the memory of last week played through her head. "No, they're not. I overheard a couple of guys talking a week or so ago."
"Dude, you still haven't asked anyone?" the taller one of the two had asked. She was standing outside the boy's locker room, waiting for Scott so she could help him pick out Kira's corsage. The two boys were standing right inside the doorway, unaware that anyone else was there.
"Who am I supposed to ask?" the other boy – Owen, she thought – asked.
"You've always had a crush on Lydia Martin, why not ask her?"
"Are you kidding? I can't do that!"
"Why not?" Owen's friend asked. "It's not like she's Queen-Bee anymore. She's the exact opposite now. She'll take what she can get."
She narrowed her eyes at the comment. Could he be any ruder?
"She couldn't get Greenberg anymore," Owen explained. "The chick's psycho. Everybody knows that. Haven't you noticed that even Stilinski's realized she's not worth it anymore?"
Lydia had left after that. She didn't want to hear their insults. But she couldn't help but think about the ones she did happen to hear.
Haven't you noticed that even Stilinski's realized she's not worth it anymore?
And he had. He had moved on with Malia, leaving Lydia to herself. The worst part was that she didn't blame him at all. He deserved to move on. He deserved to realize that she wasn't worth it, because she wasn't. She had put him through enough.
"Lydia, you're not crazy," Danny said gently. "I know you're not."
"You know what? It doesn't matter." She sat up, trying to make herself look more confident than she was. She was well practiced in that art. "I'm done with teenage boys."
Malia plopped in the chair next to her, Stiles following in the seat next to Malia. "But teenage boys are fun."
Lydia shrugged. She hadn't even noticed the song change. It was a slow song, which made Lydia wonder.
"Why aren't you guys dancing?" she asked.
"I don't really like slow dancing," Malia said. "It's not as fun."
"Shame," Lydia drawled.
"Why don't you and Stiles dance?" Malia suggested.
"What?" she asked.
"Yeah," Malia said, suddenly excited. "Stiles likes to slow dance, and you haven't gotten to dance at all. It's perfect!"
"No, it's fine," Lydia objected. "I don't mind not dancing."
"But it's prom," Malia said, practically begging. "Stiles you don't mind, right?"
"No," he said. "Of course not."
He stood up, walked over to Lydia and held his hand out to her, a humor-filled smirk gracing his face as he bowed. "May I have this dance, malady?"
Lydia rolled her eyes, but smiled all the same. "Fine."
"Have fun," Danny called as they made their way to the dance floor.
They joined the other kids dancing as another slow song started. Stiles put his hand on her waist as she wound hers around his neck hesitantly, her mind flashing back to the Winter Formal as she did so.
"You know, I haven't danced with anybody since Winter Formal last year?" she told him.
"Really?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
She nodded, looking down. "A lot's changed since then."
"Yeah, it has," he replied.
They danced in silence for a minute, Lydia's heart beating faster the longer he held her close. It had been a long time since they'd been this close to each other for longer than a few seconds, and she didn't realize how much she missed it until now. Without thinking, she rested her head on his shoulder as they swayed. His hands wrapped around her back, pulling her closer to him, and she couldn't help the way her heart skipped a beat.
She looked up at him, and for a second, she couldn't breathe. They were mere inches apart, and it wouldn't take very much to kiss him if she wanted to. And she definitely wanted to…
But she wouldn't. She couldn't. He was finally getting over her, and he deserved to. He was happy with Malia, and she wasn't going to try to ruin that.
She stepped away from him, taking the temptation away.
"Lydia, are you okay?" he asked, concern filling his gaze. "What's wrong?"
"I…I need some air," she said quickly, pushing her way back through the crowd.
She couldn't feel this way about him. It was wrong. He didn't care like that. Not anymore.
How much of a bitch did it make her to want the boy who worshipped the ground she walked on for years only after he stopped?
Haven't you noticed that even Stilinski's realized she's not worth it anymore?
She held her hand to her mouth to hold back a sob as she opened the door that led outside. That boy was right. She wasn't worth it. Not for Stiles. She had been nothing but hateful to him for years. Yes, they were friends now, but he moved on. He needed to move on. Someone like Stiles deserved better than her. Someone who saw how amazing and special he was from the beginning, and didn't need her world to turn upside down just to acknowledge his existence.
Someone like Malia.
But it didn't mean it didn't hurt to watch him be with her. It hurt like hell. But the strain it had been putting on their friendship hurt the most.
"Lydia, what's wrong?"
She took a deep breath and turned around, giving Stiles a small smile. "I'm fine. I just needed some air, I promise."
He arched an eyebrow, obviously not buying it. "What's really wrong?"
She looked down at her hands, wringing them as they spoke. "I just…didn't wanna dance anymore, okay?"
"You could've just said that," he said.
"I know," she told him. "I should have, I just…I'm sorry."
"It's okay, don't be." Stiles took a few steps closer, his eyes narrowing as he got a better look at her face in the dim light. "Why are you crying?"
"It's nothing, it's just…" she paused, not wanting to tell him. So she settled on the other thing that had been bothering her. The thing she hadn't let herself think about. Her vision blurred as she finally let those thoughts fill her mind. "She should be here."
His face softened, because he immediately knew what she meant. "Lydia…"
"She should be here, and she should be dancing, and having fun, but she's not. She can't ever do that."
He went to put his arms around her, but she pulled back. While she wanted to be close to him, she couldn't.
The confusion was plain on his face as she took a step back. "Lydia?"
"I'm fine," she said. "Just go have fun with Malia."
"I've not just going to leave you out here," he said.
"I think I'm just gonna go home," she said slowly, refusing to look at him. "I shouldn't have come in the first place."
"Don't be ridiculous," he said. "Just because you don't have a date doesn't mean that you shouldn't have come. That's the stupidest reason to not go to prom."
"That's not it," she snapped. "I'm just…not having any fun."
"Well, I know I'm not the best dancer, but jeez," he joked, sliding his hands into his pockets. "Hey, Scott's a decent dancer. He'd love to dance with you."
Her chest tightened. "It's not your dancing. I'm just…my heart's not in it."
That was an outright lie. Her heart was in it too much. That was the problem. But he didn't have to know that.
"Please stay," he said. "I will dance with you until your heart's in it, okay? Just don't go. She wouldn't have wanted that. "
Lydia closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. "I can't."
"Why not?"
"I can't tell you," she said.
"Lydia, you can tell me anything," he told her.
"Not this," she replied, backing away. "I have to go."
She turned around and started walking towards her car.
"Lydia, wait!" he called, and she knew that he was following her. "What the hell is so wrong that you don't think that you can tell me? Just talk to me, Lydia."
She felt his arm on her elbow and pulled away, getting more frustrated by the second.
"Lydia! Why can't you tell me?"
"Because just admitting it to myself makes me a total bitch!" she yelled, spinning around to face him, causing him to almost run into her.
"What?" he asked, confused.
"I. Am. A. Bitch," she reiterated. "I'm a bitch because of you."
"Because of me?" he asked. "How the hell are you a bitch because of me?"
"Because I love you!" she said, immediately realizing her mistake. Her eyes widened as his did, and she took another step back.
"What?" he asked again, his voice softer.
"Yeah," she nodded slowly. There was no going back now. "I've loved you for a while, but I didn't realize it until it was too late. Pretty bitchy move, right? The bitch always realizes she likes the boy who's been chasing her for years after he finally realized she isn't worth it anymore!"
He shook his head in frustration as he looked away from her. "Dammit. Lydia, are you serious?"
"Yeah," she said. "I'm serious. But I know you're moving on, and I'm accepting that. So go be with Malia, and be happy. I'll be fine."
She turned around again, but before she could take a step forward his voice stopped her.
"What if I haven't moved on?"
She felt her heart skip a beat. Slowly, she turned back around to face him. "What did you say?"
"What if I haven't moved on?" he repeated, holding his arms out to his sides.
She looked at him, trying to pin down her emotions. There was shock, surprise, hope…anger.
"Don't you dare say that!" she yelled, stalking back to him.
"Why not?" he yelled back at her. "It's the truth!"
"It shouldn't be!" she said, her voice catching as tears filled her eyes. "You should be sick of me! Any normal guy would have realized I wasn't worth it a long time ago! You need to realize that I am not worth it!"
"Why aren't you worth it?" he countered. "What makes you think that?"
"Because it's the truth!" she told him, backing up again. "I'm not worth your time. You deserve someone a lot better than me."
"Like who?" he asked.
"Malia!" she replied. "Atleast she can do something. Atleast she can protect the people she cares about, even if it is just you."
"Lydia," Stiles said, shaking his head in disbelief. "You saved almost everyone on that deadpool."
"No, I didn't," she argued. "You guys did. All I did was give you the names. Everyone else did the rest! And you and Malia were the ones to stop it, not me!"
"And we couldn't have done any of that without you!" he exclaimed. "God! Lydia, you're important! You matter just as much as anyone else! More to some people."
"You know what?" she shrugged. "It doesn't matter. I'm going home."
"Lydia, please," he said as she turned around once again, refusing to turn towards him again.
"Go back inside!" she called behind her. "I don't want you to follow me. I don't want to see you! So just leave me alone!"
Those were lies, of course, but she wasn't going to tell him that.
When she got into her car, she looked back and saw Stiles disappear inside the gymnasium. She knew that he would do what he thought she wanted, and even though it wasn't what she actually wanted, it was what needed to be done. He had to let her go.
She took a deep breath, trying to get her emotions back under control. She was doing the right thing, she knew it.
Now if she could just convince her heart.
As always, I love to hear what you think!