"So Close Yet So Far Away"
Extended Tag to Episode 3x05
Disclaimer: I don't own anything from "The 100". Any recognizable dialogue comes from episode 3x05.
* The 100 * The 100 * The 100 *
She was here.
Bellamy couldn't believe it. It wasn't the fact that she managed to sneak into camp that surprised him, it was the fact that Clarke was actually standing before him. She told him she had to stay in Polis and that she couldn't return home with them and yet here she was. And it took a damn massacre of a grounder army to do it.
"What are you doing here?" Bellamy stared at her. He didn't want to deal with this.
Clarke sighed, "We need to talk."
"Oh, you've decided that?" Bellamy raised an eyebrow at that claim, as if she had the gall to walk in and demand such a thing. "The mighty Wanheda…who chose the Grounders over her own people?" She refused to look at him by this point, his voice rose with every strike against her that he brought up. "Who turned her back on us when we came to rescue you? Now you want to talk?" He scoffed at the thought.
He could see her try to rein in her emotions. He could see how she wanted to say something yet she held herself back, as if it wasn't the time to bring such things up. She stepped closer instead.
"I came to tell you that the Ice Nation has paid the price." His eyes narrowed at her words, his arms crossed at the news. "Justice has been served for the attack on Mount Weather. I came here to tell you that it's over."
Bellamy scoffed, "There it is again. Why do you get to decide it's over?"
"We did our part." She sighed, as if doing what needed to be done for that justice weighted heavily on her.
"We?"
"Lexa and I…" She trailed off when she noticed his glare towards her turn ice cold.
There were so many things wrong with that pairing. Bellamy was furious that she was even partnering up with the leader of their enemy when she turned her back on their partnership. He followed her and did things for their partnership and yet she turned her back on him for that backstabbing Commander.
"The Ice Queen is dead." She backtracked and he couldn't help but feel a little relieved that the rumored terror that was the Ice Queen was finally put in her place and out of the game for good. "The problem was solved and then you let Pike ruin everything." Clarke ended with her own raised voice at the mention of Pike.
"Why are you here, Clarke?" Bellamy asked again, he didn't want another lecture from her.
Clarke sighed, "Arkadia needs to make things right or Lexa and the Twelve Clans will wipe us out."
Bellamy scoffed at the thought, "Let her try. It's not like she hasn't before."
He watched her cringe at the thought. "You can't be serious." He could see her eyes roaming over him, as if she could pick out some sort of tell that he wasn't saying. "After everything that has happened, please tell me that going to war is not what you want."
"We've been at war since we landed." Bellamy reminded her, "At least Pike understands that."
"Pike is the problem." Clarke countered harshly, "Did we learn nothing since we landed? We fought one Clan and lost half our people because of it Bellamy and now Pike has started it all over again with all Twelve Clans coming to retaliate." She shook her head at the thought, "We won't survive this."
Bellamy crossed his arms and looked away, "This time we know what we're doing."
From the corner of his eye, he could see the refusal on her face before she spoke, "This isn't who you are."
Bellamy scoffed at the thought; she couldn't make the claim that she knew him. Not anymore. She's been away longer than she's stayed.
"You're wrong. This is who I've always been or did you forget that already? Did Polis erase everything from your head or did your vacation in the woods do that?" His voice was harsh at the clear reminder of her absence. "Have you forgotten everything we had to go through, all that we suffered through because of the Grounders?"
He started to circle around her now but she didn't dare move. He could see it in her eyes that she didn't know just how exactly to react to him. He'll admit that before she left, she could anticipate things with him like he could with her just because of the synchronicity that came with their co-leadership. But her absence had weakened that bond between them to the point that she couldn't tell just what would send him spiraling against her. So she did the next best thing she could do…she stayed quiet and waited.
"And to think I let you, and Octavia, and Kane convince me that we could trust these people, when they have shown over and over again who they are. I won't let anyone else die for that mistake. We lost enough to them." Bellamy's voice wavered at the thought of those they have lost to the Grounders. It wasn't just the newly found Farm Station that were just massacred inside Mt. Weather, he thought of all the people that helped him inside Mt. Weather as well as all the delinquents they had lost since they fell from space. When will they stop losing people? They were safer in space despite the failing station they lived on.
"And we'll lose more if we fight against them." Clarke sadly stated as she looked regretfully at him. "When will it end?"
Bellamy stared at her and he could see the pleading in her eyes for him to tell her of another way than the one she knew. But he couldn't.
"You already know the answer to that." He said as he looked away from her again.
Her hair rustled a bit as she shook her head, "That can't be the only way."
"It's the only way that seems to matter with them." He looked back towards her as he crossed his arms again, "If blood must have blood, then so be it. They started this war with us the moment they speared Jasper our first day down here." He saw a shiver go up her spine before she collapsed into a nearby chair. Her head fell into her hands with her blonde hair falling forward just a bit. He could see some faded pink mixed into her hair but he wasn't going to dwell on that.
When she made no move to say or do anything but sit there, he got frustrated. He had better things to do than cater to her whim.
"Why are you really here Clarke?" He groused.
Clarke sighed and looked back up at him, "Because I need you."
Bellamy scoffed at the thought, "You need me?"
"Yes. I do." Her jaw clenched when he doubted her, "I need the guy who wouldn't let me pull that lever in Mount Weather by myself."
That felt like a lifetime ago.
"You left me!" He immediately argued and she flinched at the reminder, "Not once but twice. I needed you and you left. You left everyone!"
"Bellamy-"
"Enough! You're not in charge here, Clarke." He quickly cut in. He wasn't going to let her swoop in as if she hadn't been away for three months. "And that's a good thing because people die when you're in charge."
She looked away at the reminder and he scoffed at her denial of her actions. There was once a time where he would have told her that those deaths needed to happen to ensure their survival. But at the moment, he didn't care if his words cut her like a knife. She hurt him by leaving and then refusing to return with him after he risked his life to get to her. It was her turn to feel the brute of his pain because of her.
"You used to say that every life was sacred down here and yet that all changed when you met Wallace and Lexa. You were willing to let a bomb drop on my sister. Then you made a deal with Lexa who left us in Mount Weather to die and that forced us to kill everyone who helped us. People who trusted me!" Bellamy's voice hardened with every accusation made against her. They had a plan and yet they had to change it because of that betrayal. They both had more blood on their hands than they wanted from that rescue mission. Innocent blood.
He watched as Clarke's eyes began to water. She tried to speak but she got choked up whenever she tried. Was she finally seeing things for how they were? Was she seeing the errors behind her departure?
"Lexa betrayed us and yet you're siding with her." He continued when it was clear she couldn't. He walked around her until he stood behind her; her eyes never followed his movements. "We had to do the unthinkable to save our people because she couldn't keep her fucking word. Her betrayal led you to flee from our home because you couldn't handle what happened in that damn mountain." He lowered his head down until his lips were just a few centimeters from her ear, "Or did you forget about that too?" He whispered harshly, ignoring the shiver that went through her as his breath washed over her side.
"I didn't forget."
Bellamy scoffed as he straightened himself back up, "Could've fooled me."
"That's why I stayed in Polis, to make sure she kept her promises to us." She argued before she looked over her shoulders back at him, "I thought you understood that."
"What I understood was that you would rather stay in the capital of enemy territory where people wanted to kill you for your power as Wanheda instead of coming back home to everyone that wanted you safe." He locked eyes with her and he could see what he looked like to her…unforgiving, cold and unreasonable. He didn't care. She needed to hear it because he knew that she would've rationalized her actions to make herself feel better about them but to others, those reasons wouldn't have matter. They would've been seen as a betrayal.
"And to be honest Clarke, you being the ambassador of Arkadia was complete bullshit." He scoffed at the idiocy behind that idea. "You haven't been here for three months so why the fuck should you be our representative? You lost your standing with us, with me, the moment you turned your back on us and walked out of our gates. You chose yourself over us." He spat as he moved back to the only door that sealed them inside together.
"I'm sorry." Her voice wavered at first. "I'm sorry for leaving…but I knew I could because they had you."
"And who did I have Clarke?" He looked to her as if he waited for an answer but he knew there wouldn't be one. "You left me to look after 46 traumatized teenagers while you were out in the woods alone doing god knows what. You got to deal with what happened alone while I had to deal with the repercussions of Mount Weather on 46 different levels."
He hated her for leaving because when he tried to leave before the first Exodus pod came down, she stopped him and convinced him to stay. He stayed because she needed him and yet she left when he needed her. How was that fair? Partners don't do that to one another.
"And then I had my own shit that I had to deal with." He continued, "Having my partner would have helped but you left me. So much for doing things together. When the going gets tough, you bail." He sneered as he glared at her.
"You're right." She admitted as she stared at him; watery blue meeting harsh brown. "I was selfish. But I'm back and I want to make things right."
"Except you're not in a position to do that anymore." He argued strongly, "No one will follow a deserter."
Her lip quivered at the thought, "What happened to you?" Clarke asked softly.
Images of Gina flashed in his head before the pain from her death engulfed him. All the lives he took to save his people soon followed her fading face.
"Wouldn't you like to know," He grumbled before he looked away from her. "Three months is a long time Wanheda. I'm doing whatever the hell I want now. Enemies to my people be damned." He vowed as he looked out the nearby window.
It was a vow that Bellamy will stand by. He'll do whatever is necessary to save his people, to save those he promised to protect since he came down to Earth. If Clarke opposed him then so be it. They were on opposite sides before they became partners, so Bellamy will lead again without her if he needed to. Someone needed to watch over the remaining 100 and it might as well be him. He's been doing it for the last four months, why not for a little while longer?
* The 100 * The 100 * The 100 *
A/N #1: It has been so long guys that I've posted something but when Episode 3x05 aired back in February, the dialogue just came to me for Bellarke. So what did you guys think? I felt like more should have been said about Clarke abandoning Bellamy repeatedly like she had in this season so I wrote this to satisfy that feeling. Let me know in a review about what you thought about my extension (or even about the episode in general)! Have a great day!
A/N #2: I just wanted to thank you guys in advance for giving this oneshot a chance. It means a lot to me and I hope you enjoyed it. :D
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Originally Published: May 7, 2016