Title: Springtime for Who?
Characters:Jack Harkness, Gwen Cooper, Owen Harper, Toshiko Sato, Ianto Jones
Spoilers: Jack's age?
Teaser: A DVD has slipped through the Rift, and its contents surprise the Torchwood crew.
Author's Note: Short little something I cooked up after re-watching The Producers.

The rift in Cardiff pulled all kinds of things to the city. Annoying things like Weevils, dangerous things like energy-sucking aliens, and sometimes mere curiosities. Thus, while investigating a detected fluctuation in time and space, Toshiko and Gwen came upon a DVD. It was just lying on the pavement harmlessly, but it was in the exact spot they were sent to check, so Toshiko picked it up.

"The Producers," she read aloud. "I guess this is it? Either that, or whatever came through ran off already."

"That movie exists here and in the present, actually. It's hilarious. This might be a different version, though. I know; let's make a movie night out of it! We could use a little down time," Gwen suggested with a smile. Tosh shrugged and smiled politely. Musicals weren't really her thing.

The next night, most of the Torchwood crew set up around Toshiko's station (it having the best screens) while the rest puttered around their own stations, monitoring things and getting minor work done. Luckily enough, the disc was the right region.

"The Producers is a great show, guys," Jack called to Owen and Ianto, "give it a chance!"

The two smiled and nodded, if not while looking wholly convinced. However, sure enough, the whole office was hooked within a few scenes. It seemed to have the same cast as the version Jack and Gwen had seen...until "Springtime for Hitler."

"Wait, is that...?" Toshiko said, awed.

"Jack, that's you!" Gwen exclaimed. Meanwhile, Jack, for once in his very long life, seemed at a loss for words.

"I-How-Who-Why the HELL am I a Nazi?!" he finally managed, agog. Unfortunately, most of the team was laughing too hard to answer.

"Y'know," Owen laughed, "tha's pretty ironic, for a guy who fought in World War II-"

"Twice!" Jack interjected.

Owen finished, "-to play a Nazi on stage." Just then came the line, "C'mon, Germans, go into your dance!" at which point "Jack" began to tap dance backwards on screen. Everyone but him collapsed into fresh peels of laughter. He just buried his face in his hands.

"Aw, Jack, don't get upset," cajoled Gwen.

"Besides," added Ianto with a small smile, "you look really good in that uniform." His face fell immediately, however, as his teammates gave him looks ranging from a raised eyebrow (Owen) to vague horror (Gwen).

"Heh," Jack uttered before turning out a real grin and laughing.

"Wouldn't you know only I could make fascism look so sexy?" The pummeling he got after that only made him laugh all the harder.