Author: Roz
Email: aeterno_estel@hotmail.com
Website: rozdagollum[dot]tripod[dot]com[slash]precious(it's actually a blog, but oh well, and i'm writing it like that because it won't let me write it normally. And you put http before NO www)
Genre: Angst
Title: All you wanted
Summary: At the hardest time in his life Obi-Wan thinks back to some of the hardest times in his younger life. Being Qui-Gon's Padawan is no easy task as sorrow and joy go hand in hand. Rejection, torture, and loneliness is the path he must walk yet untold joy can be found.
Archival: Go for it! Spread the word! But tell me first to I can check ur site!
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I really really wish that I was making lots of money. Hell, I wish I could write good enough to make lots of money. And I wish that I owned Aragorn the 18 year old (hey, are you noticing that hes growing old at the same time as me? I remember ages ago I claimed Aragorn the 16 year old in Failure!) but I don't earn anything and I'm not making ne money, dammit.
This is only a short fic. And it's a song fic. The song is "All you wanted" by Michelle Branch. No doubt its been done over and over again. So here's a rehash of it! I'm only going to putting snippets of Obi's life in matched with the song. The chapters are going to be pretty small. And theres not going to be all that many of them. The idea just popped into my head while I was working on the biggish story. So I hope you like it, and enjoy!
****I wanted to be like you
I wanted everything
So I tried to be like you
And I got swept away.
****Obi-Wan saw himself as the small boy. He saw himself as the young child, not understanding, not realizing, not knowing. He saw himself idolizing one man. His master.
Well, it wasn't his master at the time but the man who would become his master.
He looked at himself.
"Hey Obi-Wan! What are you doing?" A voice made the younger Obi-Wan jump and the boy turned suddenly and turned startled eyes to where the voice had come from and found himself staring into the wide eyes of his friend Bant.
"Oh, Force Bant! You scared me!" After heaving a huge sigh of relief in seeing that it was only his friend and not someone else so important, like a Master, he turned back around to peer around the corner and down the hall.
"Obi-Wan! What are you doing? Why are you staring down that hall?" Bant put her hands on her hips and looked at her friend questioningly.
"Sssh Bant! I'm waiting!" Obi-Wan didn't look at Bant but continued to stare down the hall with a concentrated squint.
"Obi-Wan! Who are you waiting for and why?!?"
"I'm waiting for Master Qui-Gon Jinn, and you know why Bant." This time obi-wan turned to look at his friend and Bant could see the pleading look in the boy's eyes.
Bant sighed. "Yes, I know why Obi. But Obi-Wan, please don't be disappointed this year. You know what he's like. You know how he's been like ever since his old apprentice turned, you know how he's turned. Obi-Wan?"
Bant questioned the boy gently as the human turned away to stare at the wall. Obi-Wan lifted his eyes up and replied softly, "This is my last chance Bant. After this year, you know whats going to happen to me. You know that unless I get a place under a Master, I will go to the Agri-Corps. You know that Master Jinn is my last chance, and yet, you say that. Bant, what I need now is some support. What I need is some encouragement, not some cushioning laid down before to comfort me when I fall. Please Bant, I need you now. Not later to soothe the bruises."
Obi-Wan lowered his head to hide his shame in saying such harsh things to one of his best friends but when he got the courage to look Bant in the eye again he saw her looking at him with a hurt but thoughtful look.
The Mon-Calamarian sighed again and nodded slowly, "You are right Obi-Wan. I just worry too much." The silence lengthened out uncomfortably but then Bant coughed and then hurriedly continued to speak, just so that she didn't have to hear the ominous silence. "So what are you going to do when Master Jinn comes past, if he comes past?"
Obi-Wan shrugged, "I'm not quite sure yet. I've been standing here for what feels like hours, and yet I still don't know what I'll do when he goes past." The initiate laughed shortly. "Doesn't that sound stupid?"
Bant smile gently. "No it doesn't sound stupid Obi. Sounds like something I'd do."
Suddenly the boy stiffened and tensed.
"What is it Obi?" Bant questioned anxiously, seeing his back muscles tense up.
"He's coming. Oh Bant! What am I going to do? This is stupid! This so STUPID! What am I doing here Bant? He's going to think I'm insane, he's going to tell me get lost, he's not going to be happy….oh dear…..Bant! He's coming closer! And closer!!"
Bant couldn't help but laugh, "Calm yourself Obi! You've been there for all that time, just waiting for him to turn up, and now here he is, so go out there and tell him what you wish you could tell him! Go for it!" With a sudden shove, Bant suddenly thrust the boy into the hall and then turned around and said slyly with a grin, "I'll see you later Obi-Wan Kenobi."
And then Obi-Wan found himself left alone in the hall with Master Jinn coming towards him.
He didn't know what to do! He didn't know what to say! And yet, Master Jinn drew closer and closer, closer and closer.
Obi-Wan felt his heart seize up, felt himself stop breathing as Master Jinn was just a foot in front of him. Obi-Wan opened his mouth to say something, anything, but all that came out was a strangled croak.
However, that was enough to stop Qui-Gon Jinn in his tracks and make him take notice of the young boy who stood staring wide-eyed at him. It took all Jinn's Jedi self-control to not sigh and keep walking away hurriedly. He didn't have time for any hero-worshipping. Especially not from scrawny, sandy haired boy who stood in front of him with his mouth so wide open there was a danger of him swallowing a fly.
Instead, in a controlled voice that only just hid the boredom he inquired, "Yes? Is there something that I can do for you?"
Kenobi just stood there and gaped. Master Jinn had talked to him.
"Uh…..er….I would really like…..ergh….." Obi-Wan closed his eyes in despair. He just couldn't say it.
Qui-Gon raised his eyebrow at the boy, and the expression on his face altered slightly to polite boredom and annoyance.
"Unless you have anything to say, I will take my leave and continue on my journey. I do have to be somewhere. Is there anything that you wish to say?" Jinn's voice was unusually curt and cold and he himself was shocked by it and angered at himself for allowing himself to show his emotions.
Obi-Wan swallowed as he heard the emotions in the voice and saw that Jinn hardly even saw him. He was just an initiate. Qui-Gon Jinn was a venerable master.
"Er….no….there isn't anything that I wish to say. I am sorry to have kept you up Master Jinn and for that I humbly apologize. Please accept them and continue on your journey. May the Force be with you." Obi-Wan's voice trembled and he bowed shakily.
An expression of surprise flickered over Qui-Gon's face as the boy eloquently made his speech. A ghost of a smile also flickered on the Master's lips. "There is no need for such an apology, but it was nice talking to you and I'll probably see you later in the Padawan trials?" Qui-Gon broke off to look at the boy and continued when the child nodded, "Right. May the Force also be with you…..what is your name child?"
"Kenobi. Obi-Wan Kenobi sir." Obi-Wan whispered while looking at the floor. He'd tried to talk to Jinn, but he couldn't even utter a singer comprehendible sentence.
"Well then, may the Force be with you Initiate Kenobi and now, I shall take my leave." Qui-Gon Jinn bowed formally but his eyes were already looking elsewhere, his mind concerned with other issues that didn't concern the boy that stood before him.
Then with a sweep of his robe, the Master was gone.
And Obi-Wan was left standing forlornly in the Hall.
He didn't go back to his room, he didn't want to face Bant.
****Just letting you know that none of my SW stories relate to one another. Also, i've just moved out of home into the city and i've never been away from home before so, updates will be random and infrequent so please cut me some slack. And PLEASE! Leave a review!