Disclaimer: Chicago P.D., its characters and universe belong to Dick Wolf and Matt Olmstead and NBC. I'm only a fan, writing this for love of this TV show and personal pleasure.
A.N.: Okay, I just could not stop myself from writing this down. I know this is what I wanted to happen right after 3x12, but I know it probably won't, so I'll have to content myself with this instead.
Don't Ever Leave Me Alone
Adam Ruzek stood for a few moments holding the engagement ring in his hand. His mind was frozen, honestly he was flabbergasted. What in the world had just happened?
As soon as he could make his body obey his mind and got his legs moving again, he took off running. He ran past the Sergeant's desk and down the front steps, following automatically towards where he knew his fiancée had parked her car. Because goddammit she was still his fiancée, he was not going to accept this just like that!
"Kim!" He called out when he saw her and she stopped just before opening the door of her car. "Kim! Come on, talk to me! What is going on?"
Kim Burgess stood with her back to him, her heart racing and tears streaming down her face. It'd taken all her courage to do that, to give him back his ring and give him an out, and she was so sure that she'd been doing the right thing. But she didn't expect him to come after her, not really. She turned around and faced him once more. She didn't think it was possible, but she felt her already battered heart breaking all over again at the sight of him, looking so distressed and so confused.
"What do you want me to say?" She said. There wasn't a trace of anger in her voice, only resignation. "You don't really want to get married, do you?"
"Kim, what are you talking about?" He frowned, still in so much confusion, because to him all of this had come out of left field. "Where is all of this coming from? I mean, I know we've had a few setbacks with the apartment hunt and all—"
"But that's all we've had, setbacks!" She interrupted him in frustration. "We can never settle on a date or on anything concrete with our wedding plans. We set up this dinner with my mom and your dad and we can't even do something as simple as that? That tells me we're never going to be able to go through with the wedding at all!"
Adam pinched the bridge of his nose, furrowing his brow even further. "Okay," he said, looking back at her. "I'm not great at all this wedding stuff, and I've said it before because, baby, honestly? I hate all this party planning. But you have to believe me when I tell you I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and that hasn't changed from the moment I gave you this ring." He said, holding out the engagement ring.
Kim looked at it and back at him. She was so confused. What should she believe in? He said one thing, but his actions weren't consistent with his words.
Adam, for his part, felt just as confused. He knew all this wedding stuff was important to women; that's why he left most decisions in her hands. And even if he loved her like he knew he'd never loved Wendy, he still wasn't excited about all this planning, just as he hadn't been excited when he'd been engaged before.
"Okay, look," he continued, as she didn't say anything in reply to that. "Wendy broke off our engagement because I never opened up to her and basically we didn't adjust to my working in the Intelligence unit. And I'm glad that it all happened because it gave me a real shot with you and I know now I love you more than I've ever loved anybody before in my life. But what happened with me and Wendy, that's not what's happening here. I talk to you, you know whatever thought is going through my mind and you know my job, our jobs, and we can handle all that. So what in the world is going on that made you think I don't want to be with you?"
Kim's eyes kept looking at his face, reading his eyes and seeing honesty in them. "We can't find one apartment that we both agree on," she said. "If trying to live together is already this hard, what's it going to be when we're married?"
"Okay, it hasn't been easy to find a good apartment," he agreed, nodding back at her. "But we'll figure it out, you have to believe that. I know I've been picky, but that's only because I want to it be the best possible place for us to start our lives together, I don't want to get just whatever apartment is available in a rush and regret it later on."
"You never want to decide anything about the wedding," she continued in frustration. "You just say I should do or choose what I want, it's like you don't even care."
"Kim, I told you I'm not good with all this wedding planning stuff," he said. "Honestly, just thinking about my mom and my dad in the same room gives me headaches, because that will be a real nightmare."
"Okay, but you let me push the wedding date back," she argued, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Baby, you're the bride," he said, widening his eyes in surprise at what she'd said. "I may not know a lot about weddings, but I know we're supposed to do whatever makes the bride happy. You said you wanted to push the date so I just agreed; I didn't want to upset you. If I had it my way, we'd be married tomorrow, just fly out to Vegas and be done with all this party stuff."
Now it was Kim's turn to frown in confusion. "But Roman said—" she interrupted herself, frowning still, looking away from him as she thought it over.
Adam narrowed his eyes at hearing this. "Roman said what?"
She looked back at him and said, "He said that if you'd agree to push the date back that you probably didn't really want to get married, if you really wanted to you'd argue against it." As she said it, she realized just how silly this all sounded.
"What? That doesn't even make sense," he argued. "And why were you talking about all of this with Roman?"
"He's my partner and my friend, we talk," she rolled her eyes at him.
"Yeah, sure, but that's like taking marriage advice from Alvin or, I don't know, going to Voight or Platt on how to be warm and fuzzy," he said with a sarcastic frown and gesture of the hands. "I mean, the guy's been one relationship wreck after another. What would he know about all of this?"
She pursed her lips and just looked at him. She didn't like what he said, but she had to agree Adam was right.
"Baby, bottom line is, if you have anything that's troubling you, you should come talk to me about it," he finished at last, taking her hands in his.
"I got freaked out when I heard you'd been engaged twice before us," she burst out with it. "I kept thinking maybe you just liked the thrill of the engagement, but you didn't want the real thing and that's why you never wanted to settle on a date or anything."
"Oh Kim," he said with a soft smile. "Trust me, I do want to get married and be with you for the rest of our lives, even if I'm not excited about all this wedding stuff. I told you; if it were up to me we'd skip the whole thing and just be married already."
"You mean that?" She asked, a vestige of doubt still shining in her eyes.
"Yes," he said emphatically. "I'm serious. If you tell me, I'll call Voight and Platt right now and ask for the day off and fly us out to Vegas for the weekend."
She laughed at that and he smiled back at her. He was glad that they were talking to each other and clearing it all out.
"Okay, maybe not right this moment," Kim said, still smiling yet the next moment she frowned softly at him. "I never understood that you really hated all the wedding planning. I mean, I know you said it before and I heard it, but first I just thought it was normal guy stuff and then that you didn't actually want it."
"Wedding and marriage are two very different things," Adam said in reply. "My mom and dad had an amazing wedding, my grandfather paid for it all and it was a bang! Best hotel in the city, champagne, the works. But their marriage was a mess right from the start. They didn't talk to each other and had a lot of misunderstandings that turned into constant fighting and it was all over by the time I was seven." He finished with a shrug. "Let's not follow their example, alright?"
Finally reassured, Kim nodded back at him and smiled. He then pulled her into a tight hug, kissing the top of her head and sighing in relief. "Don't ever leave me," he said. "I mean it; I thought I would have a heart attack."
"Okay," she said, smiling up at him. "I promise, and I'm sorry. From now on, I'll come straight to you if I have any doubts. Can I have my ring back?"
"Yes, you very much can," he smiled at her and placed the ring back where it belonged in her finger. They smiled at each other and he pulled her in, kissing her as if his life depended on it. And in a way it actually did.
A.N.: There! In my opinion, the whole reason they're in this relationship mess right now is all Sean Roman's fault! I mean, imagine if Atwater were still her partner, do you think he'd be giving her such inane advice and tests for her to do or would he just tell her to go talk to her fiancée about all her doubts, like normal adults should do? ¬¬