The inky blue night surrounded me and the road; flashes of yellow streaked it as I passed by the lights signalling where to go. The radio was all but dull at this time of night but it was hard for me to concentrate as the overwhelming feeling of being alone started to creep up inside of me again, for the hundredth time today. Turning the radio up, I tried to ignore the nagging feeling and checked my mirrors. No, no glittery vamps on my tail.
Disappointment twisted in my stomach and I hated myself for it, why does this keep happening. Urgh get over it, you wouldn't be where you are now if you had wanted to stay. Goddamn emotions betraying me, god.
Pulling into the nearest drive through, I ordered a coffee and the parked in the parking lot. I lit a cigarette and took a long pull from the hot cup, letting the smooth liquid sooth my parched throat. The coffee was good and just what I needed to wake me up, It was a long drive to California and I had a way to go yet, not wanting to travel for a couple of days I decided I would travel as much as possible and stop as little as possible.
As a cloud of smoke drifted from my nostrils I let my thoughts drift to him. To what he might be doing right now, probably still looking for me in Montana...why wasn't anything simple?
Couldn't we just stop this game of cat and mouse and go back to our normal lives?
The thought made the ache in my chest tingle as a small reminder of the pain I was inflicting on us both.
Who would blame me?
I'm a nineteen year old girl wanting to experience normal life and not have to leave everybody I love so quickly, I needed time. I didn't know whether that meant time to adjust to the thought of what I was to become or that I needed time to go live my life...
So here I am on the way to see my mum, maybe for the last time but I hope it wasn't. I loved my mum, she was like my best friend and I couldn't imagine life without her. I didn't want to live a life without my mother, the woman who brought me into this world and I wouldn't if I had anything to do about it.
Angry tears started to fuzz the edges of my vision so I snapped out of my thoughts and brushed them away with my knuckles, flicking last of the cigarette out my window I started the engine. With the now lukewarm coffee cup balancing between my thighs I set back off on the road and with not much else to do but focus on the road my thoughts started to drift back to Jackson, the place it had all started.
My feet had barely touched the ground and I was already a sopping wet mess, I could feel sweat just dripping from every pore and made me want to vomit. I waited for my bag to come round on the conveyer belt, sighing, I wiped the beading sweat from my forehead. Skinny jeans, really Bella?
Cursing myself and the stupid airports air conditioning I grabbed the forest green suitcase off the rotating device and started towards the exit. Charlie would surely be waiting for me by now as my flight had been late by half an hour and not being able to use cell-phone to let him know he should have just shown. Riffling through the carry on, I snagged my phone and waited to see the white little apple telling me it was turning on.
Finally, six missed calls and one voice mail.
"Hey Bells, sorry I'm not going to be able to pick you up. I feel terrible but the boss just rang and you know what that means, sorry kid. I'll make it up to you I swear. The address Is 25 Garth Close, grab a taxi and be safe. I'll give you the cab money when I get home and bring in some Chinese. Love you Kiddo"
I could hear the disappointment in his voice from not being able to pick me up but I understood, work was work. A lot of my childhood with Charlie had suffered from his career and affected our relationship but I was proud of him. He had done so well to get a promotion from Seattle snoozeville to up here where there was a big case going on. I didn't know the ins and outs but apparently criminals were just dropping off the face of the earth, only two bodies had been found.
The taxi ride was long, at least an hour and in the heat it seemed longer but just when I was sure I was about to pass out we pulled up outside a small beige house. It had to large trees sitting in the front yard with the odd bush scattered around them. There was also bird feeds and a little bird bath which seemed too personal for my dad.
It had a homey feel and the look of where you could grow old in, I could see Charlie in his old age sitting in the yard with a beer and a smile.
I paid the driver and got my things, slowly walking down the broken pavement and tried to figure out how to get in. Would there be a key or was I supposed to wait?
Before I could answer that the door flung open and woman with bright white hair curled up was racing at me and giggling. Before I knew what was happening I was being hugged by this stranger but I had a pretty good guess who she was.
Let's just look at the bird bath again shall we?
"Hi I'm Maggie and you must be Isabella. I love that name by the way, gosh just look how darling you are." She started to ramble off in a soft but very thick southern accent, from here then I guessed.
I let her drag me in and listened to her continued chatting; I don't think she had even noticed I hadn't spoken yet.
"Oh Isabella, we're just so happy you could come stay with us. I've been so excited to meet you. I'm sure Charlie hasn't even mentioned me yet, eh? Like I say I'm Maggie, me and your Pa been together now bout two years. Gosh that's gone by so fast! Ha!" She jumped with enthusiasm as she spoke and didn't stop smiling.
My dad really was punching above his weight with this one, he should count himself lucky. Her face was soft and round with high cheek bones and kind blue eyes. Her lips were painted a burnt orange that matched her outfit, she really was lovely.
"You know how men are, always putting things off or not wanting to rock the boat when all he's done is make me look like some 'stranger danger' stuff eh? But oh well I will have to talk to your pa about that later, he really does need to grow a pair sometimes doesn't he?" She started to cackle really loud as she got to bottles of coke out of the fridge, I couldn't help but laugh with her. She was so welcoming and down to earth, not pretending to be something she wasn't just to get my approval. I admired her for that.
After an hour of small talk and a quick tour of where I'd be living now we were really getting on and I'd even agreed to let her make me into a 'little southern bell' as she had called it. She was just washing my hair over the sink and I was so relaxed that my eyes closed, her fingers on my scalp were sending me into a little bit of heaven.
"So, will you miss living with your mum?" she asked hesitantly, I guess we'd got past the point of it being too soon to ask personal questions.
"Yeah, I really will. We are really close, best friends even but I'm old enough now and to have the opportunity travel for your job? How often does that happen?" I pushed the thoughts away and began to forget about talking again as the warm water rinsed out the shampoo.
"That's really grown up of you Bella and so nice of you to do for your mother. You're both lucky to have each other." I could hear some sadness in her voice and it made me wonder if she had kids, this probably wasn't the best time to bring it up and I was still uncomfortable asking such personal questions.
Charlie found us later, much to my embarrassment, with pink bows tying up our curling hair and in pyjamas with a film playing in the background of our giggles. He smiled at the sight of us and held up a large bag filled with Chinese.
Me and Charlie didn't do heart to hearts, so we just hugged briefly and smiled at each other. The night was then filled with us pigging out and doing the same small talk I'd done with Maggie earlier, only now with Charlie. Once I was full to the point of exploding, I said goodnight and went to the guest room.
I lay in bed looking at the plain room; this is where I would be living from now on. That thought finally sunk in and before I knew it tears were streaming down my face, I had to start over. That meant new friends, new job and a new life. I rolled over cracking the window open that was above my bed and lit a cigarette.
It wouldn't be so bad I guess, I would always have a tan at least?
I watched as the clouds of smoke drifted off into the humid air and let my mind wonder but the peace didn't last long as when I looked across the garden to where there were some bushes and a tree, there seemed to be eyes looking back at me. They were startling red and glowing, it held my gaze and when I blinked it was gone. Maybe it was a bear moving through the neighbourhood back towards the forest. I finished the cigarette and then closed the window, searching one last time for the eyes before closing the curtains and trying my hardest to fall asleep.