Fair warning, there is character death at the end of this...
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The lonelyness is overpowering sometimes
The lonelyness of one who isn't wanted
who is despised
who is hated by all
What does it feel like to be wanted?
to be needed?
Is it plesant?
I sit here under this pale moon and wonder,
Is it even possible
for a monster like me
to be needed
to be wanted by anyone
anyone at all?
The worst kind of hell
is knowing that you are nothing
you have no purpose
no friends
no family
nothing
Knowing you are nothing is worse than anything
Knowing you have no one is a wound deeper than any
This pain in my heart
its been there forever
as long as I can remember
It's sad that in a way the pain is almost comforting
at least it lets me know i'm alive
Then again,
whats the point of being alive?
Why live when you are alone
forever alone
forever in darkness
forever conscined to your fate
unable to change anything
What's the point then?
When you have no one
nothing
not even a reason to live
that is no life
mearly existance
and who really wants that
I know I don't
I want to be wanted
I want to be needed
I want to be loved
I guess in the end what I want doesn't matter
I will never be wanted
I will never be loved
Who needs a monster like me?
I'm not even human to these people
I'm just a monster
a reminant of a past they'd like to forget
that's all I'll ever be
No one understands
no one cares
that's almost as bad as being alone
knowing that in all the world, no one understands you
and no one ever will
that's how you know you are truely alone
that there really is no one out there that could love you
need you
even begin to sympathize with you
You are alone
utterly alone
forever isolated
locked away in a deep, unending hell
alive buy not living
awake but not consious
existing with nothing and no one
not even yourself
you don't even exist anymore
you're just a body filling space
that's no life
In a way i live without living
i see without seeing
there is no light for me, only darkness
no heat, only utter cold
i'm alone
in all this vast and undending world i am utterly alone
forever
I lay here on this roof
staring at the pale moon and unending stars
feeling the warmth of the blood pooling around me
watching as my eyes grow fuzzy and my hearing dwindles
I wonder
what was the point?
I wonder,
maybe,
could I have been saved?
I can feel my heart slowing
my breathing is becoming labored
I wonder
will anyone miss me
will anyone care?
I close my eyes for a final time and wonder
Did i even matter?
I wonder...
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Okay so that was my first atempt at a real angst fic in quit some time and i'm not really sure if its any good. And yes, I know Gaara's OOC, very OOC, you don't have to tell me. I just kinda of lost the ability to write him in character after spending so much time focusing on getting Kiba right. I guess I could have done a better job on Gaara's personality if i had written in a happy ending with Naruto or something like that, but I'm just not in the mood for happy endings right now, so I can't really write them.