Disclaimer: I do not own Pyramid Head, or Silent Hill 2, but the cameraman everyone loves, is mine.
"You touched my body once it burns me still softly never forgets never again will be I cry Out of my head and I don't know what I found over and over I feel it break me down
On the sidewalk of the city are my screams just a whisper busy people going nowhere, see me soak in the rain no compassion nothing matters my resistance is waiting like a flower
in the basement waiting for a lonely death Out of my head and I don't know what I found over and over I feel it break me down." Your Rain, Silent Hill 4.
Chapter 1: Interview and sight Seeing.
The camera shifts slowly over the foggy streets of Silent Hill, three lone Mannequins walk about the lonely streets, Then Pyramid Head jumps in front of the camera holding a microphone."Hello everyone! We're back, and better then ever!" He says merrily as he does a little dance.
"Really? I hadn't noticed . . ." The Mysterious Cameraman says off screen, his words lined with sarcasm.
"Yes indeedy we are! And since we are back here again, we might as well find James, again. . . James . . ." Pyramid Head sighs dreamily as a soft pink appears on his helmet where his cheek should be. He moves side to side day dreaming.
" . . . Oh god, I hope I still have the number." The Cameraman says as the camera moves about as he looks for the number for his favorite therapist.
James blinks and walks over toward Pyramid Head with a puzzled look on his face."What am I doing back here?" He asks as he glances at the camera, then fixes his hair and adjusts his jacket.
Pyramid Jumps up in surprise as he looks to James, he lets out a gasp and fan-girlish squeal."Jamesey! You here! Ohmygodohmygod!" He claps his hands together and bounces up and down with glee.
"Oh my god, you're still alive?" The Cameraman asks amazed, and shocked.
"Of course, I got a huge fan base, as well as a part in a in-the-works story." James responds with a smile.
" . . . Um, anyway! James, uh . . ." Pyramid Head clears his throat and puts on a pair of reading glasses and reads his script. "Hm, lets see here . . .Oh yes! How does it feel to kill so many monsters without mercy and/or remorse?"
"What? I kill with mercy! Have you SEEN the monsters here?" James Points to the same waving monster nurse from the first incarnation of this story, she again blows another kiss to the Cameraman.
"Hey there handsome." She says in a sexy voice to the cameraman.
" . . . Um . . . Ew . . ." The Cameraman coughs and clears his throat.
"Don't worry, we are gonna move on to the Doom games after we are done here . . . and I shall have James' Pants by the end of this story!" Pyramid Head says and raises his fist in the air.
James' eyes go wide, he begins to slowly move back and away from Pyramid Head. " . . ."
" . . . Oh James . . ." Pyramid Head looks over to James.
" OH MY GOD!" James turns quickly and runs in the other direction.
"Wait! Come back! I have something to tell you!"
"Ah!"
" And . . . he's gone. Well, what now?"
"To Blue Creek Hotel!" Pyramid Head cackles and runs off to the hotel.
" . . . We are sorry, but you're sanity is invalid, please try again later." The Cameraman sighs and follows.
At Lakeside hotel.
"'Ello, and welcome ta Blue Creek 'Otel, This, is Pyramid 'Ead, and we ah here to capture, thee elusive James, Now, what Ah've got 'ere, is a makeshift couple o' ba's, just incase he decides ta attack." Pyramid Head says as he shakes the makeshift bars wearing an Australian hat and sporting an Australian accent.
"Okay then James-Hunter, How are we supposed to catch him?"
" . . . Good question, I wasn't thinking about that . . ." Pyramid Head looks down at the ground in thought, his Australian accent gone.
"I think I see him coming." Cameraman leans to the side and sees James on the other end of the hall.
"Really! Great! Lets not screw up this time!" Pyramid Head turns around and holds the mic out to James, both he and Cameraman standing still, silent . . .
" . . ." James blinks and slowly moves into the room to the right, keeping an eye on the mysterious red beings.
" . . . Crikey! What did we do wrong?" Pyramid Head says as he looks in disbelief.
" . . . Oh! Whoops, had the red light on again, sorry." Cameraman switches to the normal light lens.
" . . . How can we make the same mistake twice?" Pyramid head shakes his head in disbelief.
In room 307, three Oh Seven, Tree Ah Sven, tee On Seven . . . golf . . .golf good.
"Well, here we are, in room 307, again . . . ah, brings back some good memories . . ." Pyramid Head looks around the room, going for a trip down memory lane.
"J00 Suckzor1!"
"Git off mah lawn, dern young people and thar dern playboy and . . ."
"What the snap-crackle-pop?" Pyramid Head looks around puzzled.
"Zuh?" Cameraman begins to look around as well.
"3e1n) j00 nu3 Lawl!"
Pyramid Head looks over his shoulder, a pair of eyebrows drawn on his helmet, one eyebrow raised while the other low."What the! Who the heck're you two?" Pyramid Head turns around and faces the two mannequins.
"J00 nu3! I 0wz j00 Roffle!" Mannequin #1 said as he laughed annoyingly.
"I live here you ungrateful hippie!" Mannequin #2 said as he waved his cane at Pyramid head.
"Hippie? Old man, do you know who I am? I am, Pyramid head!" Heroic pose.
"And I am mysterious Cameraman-yet-to-be-revealed!"
"No . . . Yer both hippies!"
"Y3h, n00bs, Lawler-copter!"
" . . . Oh that is IT!" Pyramid Head growls, his Mask going more red, he approaches the two Mannequins."That's it!" He throws down his Mic, he grabs Mannequin 1, and smothers Mannequin 2 with Mannequin 1, he then Kills Mannequin 2 with success.
"Hm?" Pyramid Head turns and notices a light coming from a nearby closet. He walks toward the Closet and picks up his mic on the way, dragging Mannequin 1's body a few feet with him, he stops and drops the body.
"Whoa . . Deja' vu . . ." Cameraman watches, trying to piece together his flashbacks.
"J-James!" Pyramid Moves toward the closet, a pair of squinting eyes drawn on his helmet.
The sounds of a pistol clip clicking into place is heard. " . . Oh my god! P.H!" Cameraman reaches out a red jacketed arm to Pyramid head.
"JAMESY-WAMESY!"
Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom! Boom!
"WAH!"
To be continued.
'Dragon Ball Z announcer voice' On the next episode of Interview and Sight Seeing! Who shot Pyramid Head? Who is the mysterious Cameraman? Why am I making fun of Dragon Ball Z? Find out, in the next episode of 'Interview and Sight seeing!'
(Insert Lara's Theme from Silent Hill 2 here as closing theme.)
