Title: REQUIEM.
Author: Vamp
Pairing(s): Treize and Zechs' past.
Rating: R
Summary: Pain can linger long after the cut has healed. But Zechs' is festering and needs an old friend to help him move on.
Warning: Death, angst lots of it, supernatural.
Notes: Takes place in the missing years between operation meteor and endless waltz.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own twisted mind and shadow bunnies.
Beta: None so expect errors.
REQUIEM.
A flash of movement in the shadows caught my eye. Freezing in place, old war habits still sharp from a war that nearly lost mankind a planet; and me my world. Just a ginger cat; he strolled out smug expression on its feline face for making me jump, a young adult under a year from the look. I relaxed and continued on to the small shoebox I called home. Little more than a room and separate bathroom, just what I needed and nothing more. No one would look for an ex-prince and almost world destroyer here in the gutter of a small obscure colony. This was not the only reason I had taken up residence in the dregs of mankind. Here I was like all the other dirty rundown lowlife with sad sorry lives they had walked away from, hope long washed out of our bodies as we shuffled hunched against biting winds in trash piled alleyways. We all had our own poisons, drugs, sex, alcohol, stealing. Mine was the deep dark pit I had walked into eyes wide shut, whistling as Noin and Une tried to reach me. Now their unwanted pity could not reach down here.
Just inside my chosen self made prison, finally I could relax. The prickling of a thousand vacant eyes ease and I was left with just one. The one who was not there, the void that pulled at my tattered soul like a back hole and I like a fool willingly gave up chunks of it.
Meow (turn around)
Spinning gun in hand, the other reaching for a hidden knife on my hip. Just the dam street cat. How did he make it in here? Kicking out in anger and making the skinny thing arch its back and hiss. Amused I let it be. Pointless to yell at the mute, feeling drained I fell into my chair.
Opening the simple container of food, it had no desirable smell, what little taste there was never even registered on my tongue. Once I had a refined pallet, Treize had seen to that and the lessons had been best when held in privacy of the bed room. Now the food just sat on my lap, hardly touched.
Golden amber eyes watched me from under the only other large piece of furniture. His pink tongue flicking out with hunger. I was not cruel, just this once it would not hurt to feed Cat, the food would only join the rest of the trash outside. Placing it on the floor as I rose to stand by the dirt incrusted window trying to figure out how it had gotten inside.
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Cat became a companion of sorts, something to talk to on the long nights I could not sleep or was unable to exert myself enough to just shower and throw my body on the bed. Trust me there were many of those, when the past would not stay past and came to play itself on my tired eyelids.
One day I would manage to deal with this gaping hole Chang had left in me. It was not just his fault, Treize, damn him, was too stubborn to back down as well. He had always had some grand idea of dying young for a cause. He never wanted to grow old, to become weak, even after we had been lovers and planned the bright things a new age would bring to us.
Peace. Ha!
Still I longed for him.
So each day I hoped to wake up dead, for life was getting harder to cope with alone.
Amber gold blinked at me, how Cat managed to balance on my bath edge I had no idea, but there he was nose just about to touch mine as I looked at him. The water long cold, my body blue, yet still I had little desire to get out.
Plop.
Horror filled me as I tracked the source of the noise, gently floating down the levels of water to settle over my left hip bone.
A mouse.
"Ohh I get it you think I need feeding now."
The same wide eyes, intelligence hidden deep within looked at me. My body felt incredibly heavy as I pulled it out of the soiled water, cool air making my skin shiver, breathing heavy from the tiring effort.
Fur rubbed about my legs, Cat, I looked down to his smug face. So it was all to get me out of the icy water, not a hint for food. Food, when did we eat together last?
Meow. (Turn around)
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Slamming the door shut, plaster flaked off the walls to add to the heap on the floor.
Tears blinded me even as rage flicked about my head, a twisting mess of emotions brought to the surface. All from a chance glimpse of the same ginger hair but on someone else. This time I had held myself together enough to not go chasing after my ghost in the crowd.
Still today's close call had opened up the festering wound, made me aware of the burning ache of my loins. For the last seven months I had denied myself self pleasure. The first time I had broken my vow of celibacy was out of desperation. The pain had been dogging me for a month non-stop; I was never flaccid no matter what trick I had tried. Once I had taken care of the raging hard-on, it left me feeling hollow and unsatisfied. Betrayal eating at this still weeping heart of mine and I hated each time my body betrayed me this way.
Banging my head back against the wall I was currently leaning on until the strength faded in my legs and slowly sliding down it to squat, tears still refusing to fall, and emotions choking me like iron hands about my constricted throat. But stiff pride made me fight what I so desperately needed. Any doctor would have committed me long ago given my unbalanced mind and destructive habits.
Soft fur was pushed into my hand, forcibly rubbed against my palm, and then small feet steadied Cat on my arm so he could with purring force nuzzle against my still dry cheek. So caring, so tender like a ghost of his hand from times past.
A stupidly simple thing and I felt the gates crack, like my shattered soul when that last battle played over the monitors for the entire world and her children. Cat and I did not touch; he was just there like the walls that held up the roof.
Time became mangled as ghost hands brushed my wet cheeks. Silence roared in my small haven from the world. It hurt and inside, I cursed myself for once more failing Treize.
It's hard, the pain centered in my swollen chest was more than the time I had shrapnel in my leg and had to hike for assistance, a twisted parody of a smile ghosts over my face as I remembered how Treize had made me have a tracer chip inserted under my shoulder blade. He had to bribe me with the threat of cutting off my only source of pleasure.
Meow. (Bright eyes)
Amber and ginger, gold and sandy hues.
Warm supporting love.
Cat.
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Fluffy: I know this is a sad little thing, but you have to blame my own cat for this one.