Title: By my side, you'll never be
Author: Emony
Fandom: Supernatural
Rating: FR13
Disclaimer: All things SPN belong to Eric Kripke, et al.
Spoilers: 1x05
Summary: You tell me that you love me but you never want to see me again.
Notes: The title, summary and inspiration come from Unkle Bob's 'Swans'.
The first few days had been nothing but a mix of emotions, pure and strong. Only some of them were hers. Most of them were his. If she wasn't already dead that thought would have killed her. His hurt, his pain had become hers.
It had taken her a while to figure out that what she was feeling wasn't all her. That Sam was different to anyone else.
Oh, she'd had that one figured out from the start, from the very first time she met him, that Sam Winchester was different from all the other boys. She'd just never figured out how different, not until the day she died.
It had been the end of a long week. First he'd been grumpy and wouldn't tell her what the nightmares he'd been having were about, or even admit to them. Then his brother showed up, the one that half the time she wasn't sure even existed. That there could be someone that made up all of the half told stories she had been told.
Then he'd left and she'd spent the next few days worrying about him and his crazy family and baking cookies every day. Cookies that she left out on a plate each night in case he got home whilst she was asleep.
She almost wishes she hadn't done that now.
She almost wishes that she had turned a different corner and tripped over a different boy that day two years ago.
She almost wishes. Then she smiles. This was the way it had to go. From the day she was born this was the plan. Who's plan - she didn't want to think about, not even now.
She doesn't want to think about the moment it all ended, the moment it all began. The pain, the heat, watching Sam.
After the first few days she'd figured it out. She was stuck to him, to Sam, the love of her life, the love of her death.
She was there on the edge of his vision all day round. Sam, being who and what he was, saw her sometimes. She could sometimes hear him, his thoughts. She could see his dreams sometimes. She just couldn't do anything. Anything but be there.
She stood and watched.
Watched as the car went by.
Listened to his brother asking questions he didn't want to answer, asking for the secrets that weren't just his to tell.
Watched as this time he saw more than just out of the corner of his eye.
Listened as his thoughts finally broke free of where he'd been keeping them from even himself.
She was gone.
You tell me that you love me but you never want to see me again - Swans, Unkle Bob.