Stay away from my man…
AN: I have to say, I like Catherine Gale. She's nice to Harm and she's perceptive. Like she was in 'Back in the Saddle.', figuring out about Mac's feelings just by her look. Which triggered this story. Hope you like it.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of JAG and I don't make any money with this story. But if you wish to pay me, I could use a nice big portion of DJE...What do you mean, he's not available! Oh well...
Spoilers: Set after "Back in the Saddle"
Here we go...
He was back. She'd gone to his apartment a few days before, just to ask him to help her (them, help them, like he would ever help just her) with reviewing all the cases that idiot Imes left them with. It took longer to get used to having him around again than she had hoped, and it made her cranky and angry. Enough so lash out at anybody who dared to step close to her, making it impossible to work with her. Problem was, she knew it, but simply couldn't help herself.
Another problem was the fact that they hadn't talked and still didn't. They discussed case reviews, but the banter, the smiles, the so comfortable space they used to occupy in the other one's lives was missing. Now, every time they had to work together, she felt the loss as a knife through her heart. Another thing she knew, another problem she couldn't resolve.
Oh, but she wasn't done there. Please, no.
There was Harm's CIA detour. They never mentioned it, nor the way it came to be. Nor his fake marriage, for that matter, though for something supposedly only set up to find her, Harm and his 'wife' seemed pretty damn close.
Catherine Gale had walked in on them the evening she had asked Harm for his help, the first time they'd talked in months. She had been so nervous, he'd been so evasive (though that much she's expected) and just as she was gathering courage to step away from the safe topics and throw herself off the deep end, the female CIA agent had showed up. And she had bailed, part of her glad, a bigger part of her seriously annoyed.
As icing to the cake, there was her own spook. Though she cared in some way for Webb, though she knew that in some way he cared a lot for her, they were never meant to work. He was never around enough, he too was very evasive (part of being a spook) and that was the biggest road block for their relationship: she'd had it with evasive men. She desperately needed someone to state his intentions. Even if she dreaded hearing them.
Why not leave the spook, or tell him to leave her, if she knew they weren't the definition of a match made in heaven? Because worse than being with a second best man, worse than being with a substitude, was being alone. Being alone meant being able to hear herslef think. Not something she was looking forward to on a daily bases. So she stuck with Webb. Clinging to him in the same manner she'd clung to Mic, after Harm's 'not yet' in Sydney. Only this time it was her own 'never' that had done the ultimate trick.
She supposed she should be lucky it was a Saturday, which meant she didn't have to spend time in the immediate surroundings of JAG HQ, where his presence didn't do anything to calm her nerves. Well, neither had shopping so far, but it was a distraction anyway.
"Excuse me."
She had bumped into someone at the busy mall. While looking for something, anything that might lift her spirits, she hadn't seen or heard the other person coming. So automatically, she apologized, hoping that whoever it was, he or she would shrug and leave her to her own devices.
No such luck.
"That's okay...Colonel?"
The question in the other woman's voice didn't register for a while, used to her title as Mac was. Until she remembered that, since it was the weekend, she was wearing civvies. So this had to be someone she knew.
Even though the idea of small-talk didn't really appeal to her, she felt compelled to at least look up and acknowledge the presence of said someone. Therefore, she lifted her head and forced a fake smile to curl around her mouth.
Which froze immediately as she recognised who it was standing in front of her.
Catherine Gale. A pregnant Catherine Gale.
Her head started spinning, she felt ready to hurl. Images of the other woman and Harm together as lovers swam through her mind. Sure, Harm said his marriage to Catherine was fake, but who'd said anything about the consumation of their union?
Harm would do the right thing. Just as he had tried to do with Singer, he would bite down in this situation until it was solved to his expectations. He would do the right thing. Only again, not for her, not by her.
Oh God, the baby deal! He would never go through with that now. The only tie she still had with him was severed with the coming of his wife and their baby. Inwardly groaning, she forced herself to breath steadily, to smile, to greet Catherine, to congratulate her and to get the hell out of there. Run until she dropped, go back home and lick her wounds. Again.
That was the plan anyway, but somehow, she hadn't taken the personality of one female spook (or spookster, or whatever) into account. A small but firm hand prevented her from turning on her heels.
"Please, don't move away so fast. We have a lot to discuss and frankly, I'm in no condition to run after you. Don't make me."
Even though she struggled to get free and was eventually released, Mac, suddenly deflated, stayed put.
"Let's have some tea. I'm buying."
It didn't sound like an invitation and Mac, used to obeying orders, resigned to her fate. With every other aspect of her life gone haywire, she might as well go with the flow. Did she have a choice anyway?
A few minutes later, both women sat in the secluded corner of a small café cradling a cup of herbal tea (Catherine) and a double espresso (Mac), looking for the whole world like two friends on a shopping spree, no different from anybody else. Except; they were.
Caterine took a small sip from her hot liquid before setting it down and starting the conversation without warning, without introduction, without any small-talk or preamble.
"Mac, what did I walk into a few nights ago when you were with Harm?"
Totally taken aback, Mac had no idea how to answer. But while her instincts told her to retreat, the Marine wanted to tackle the problem head-first. In the end, she got stuck in the happy land of denial.
"Nothing I can think of. I just asked Harm for help on the files left by Imes."
"And that was all." Catherine didn't sound all too convinced. But then again, she wasn't.
Toying with her empty cup, Mac stalled until she could come up with a plausible escape. She even faintly hoped for her or Catherine's cell-phone to ring. Like Webb's always conveniently did when she wanted to have a heart-to-heart with him. Again, her luck had apparently run out.
Finally, she managed to look the other woman in the eyes and answer.
"Yes, that was all. Should there be more?"
"I don't know. You've always been close, you hadn't seen the other one for months, I can only imagine what the two of you would have to discuss."
With a cynical laugh, Mac leaned back in her chair. She had just decided to go with the Marine mode. Full speed ahead and damned the consequences.
"Don't worry Mrs. Rabb. There's nothing I discussed with your husband that could jeopardize your happy family."
Unfazed, the other woman gave her a sad, almost pitying smile. With a tad of condescending understanding, like a mother who patiently waited for a toddler's tantrum to subside.
She would certainly make a good mom, Mac thought wryly.
"Harm and I are not legally married and this baby is not his biological child. I needed his advice and he gave it. Nothing more and nothing less. I don't care for Harm in the happily ever after way and he doesn't harbor any romantic feelings for me."
Utterly stunned and declaring herself the world's biggest fool, Mac backtracked a little, only to be blown away by the woman's next statement.
"The reason I'm telling you all this is because I do care about Harm as a friend. And as his friend I need you to know that he does have romantic feelings for a certain Marine partner of his and that he's slowly falling apart inside."
She was only met by silence as Mac clearly lost her ability to speak. Only the rattling of the cup as she put it down with trembling hands betrayed her emotions.
Catherine moved on. Locked in on her target, like she knew that she had to finish the kill now.
"I don't mean to hurt you and I don't even wanna know what caused this canyon of misunderstandings between the two of you, but I do need to ask you to at least try to bridge that gap. He loves you and call me insane, but I thought I detected a glimmer of jealousy when you saw me walking in."
"How...?"
"I know that look, Sarah. All women have it, all use it. I even called Harm on it, but, being a man, he hadn't noticed the classic 'Stay away from my man' expression you were sporting. But believe me, I took notice."
Mac had reached her breaking point. Tears were running down her cheeks, smudging her carefully applied mascara, but she couldn't care less and she did nothing to try to look composed.
"Why doesn't he ever talk to me? Why doesn't he ever say so?"
"Did you give him a chance?"
Offended, Mac looked up. The openly friendly face of the woman opposite her only infuriating her more, the only thing preventing her from physically lashing out being Catherine's swollen stomach.
"I have given him every chance in the world, thousands of times. And he always bails out."
"Does he? Or do you? Are you blind as well as deaf?"
Damn this woman! What did she know? How dare she sit here and jump to conclusions?
Oh my god. How dare she sit here and jump to conclusions? Who exactly was she referring to?
Slumping back in her seat, Mac sobbed. Realizing for the first time just how much Harm had given up over the past years just to protect her, to save her, to indeed show her his intentions. In retrospect, it wasn't his inability to say the words that had stopped them from being together. If anything, it was her own inability to allow him to let his actions do the talking. And to listen closely to their underlying message. Thus, turning a blind eye and a deaf ear toward him every time, she made her own decisions based on wrong assumptions.
And here she was accusing Catherine of doing the same. Damn, that woman was smart. She let her set her own trap and watched her fall in it too.
Was she too late, too late to hear the unsaid words, to see and appreciate the actions for what they were worth? To take action of her own and make him understand? She had to try. Had to do so now.
Catherine remained silent as she saw the transition on the Colonel's face. She watched in silent satisfaction as Mac stood, shakily, grabbing her hand.
"Thanks, Catherine. For everything. Now if you'll excuse me, there's somewhere I have to be."
As quickly and elegantly as her condition would allow her to, Catherine stood too, throwing some bills on the table, before taking out her car keys.
"Are you here by car?"
"No, I took the subway in."
"Come on then, I'll drive you."
Like two friends leaving after a shopping spree, they headed to the parking lot.
THE END.
Sometimes, stories have to end before they start. Plus, this leaves the door open to a sequel.