It was one of those nights where it wasn't too hot nor too cold, it was the perfect temperature. She was just sitting on the steps of her apartment when he showed up. She didn't even realize it was him until he sat down next to her and spoke.

He's changed so much since he left. His skin was like caramel color (It looked so damn fine on him.) , his hair was longer and a lot curlier and he seemed to be working out more than before. She just looked at him; she couldn't think of anything to say to him. All she could do was stare at him.

It's not like he said much after his hello. He just stared right back at her. It was as if everything about her had changed too. Her hair seemed to be blonder and longer, her eyes seemed icier blue than before, and her dimples when she smiled were deeper. She seemed genuinely happier now too. He wondered was it because he left her or was it because her sister was still behind bars.

She stopped staring at him after awhile, just looked down at the steps. What could she possibly say to him? He stopped calling/answering her phone calls and she was doing the same until they both stopped bothering to call to check up on each other. She missed him a lot and seeing him right next to her on her stoop made her realize just how much she missed him. She finally managed to ask her what was on her mind the moment he sat down next to her on her stoop.

"What are you doing here?"

"I...I missed you and I don't know. I just had to see you right now."

"Why come now? Why didn't you call me?"

"Call you? If I did, you'd probably tell me now wasn't a good time. I called Carisi to see if you were home before I came unannounced."

"I'm going to kill him. Nick, I miss you too. Like a lot."

"I'm sorry I stopped calling. I should've tried more to keep in touch with you, Amanda."

"Want to go inside and talk about this? It's starting to get cold now."

"Yeah, let's go inside."

The moment he agreed to go inside with her she started to get nervous. She started to feel that familiar warm fuzzy feeling she used to get when Nick used to come around. It was like her feelings for him had resurfaced out of nowhere. It's not like they left, but they were present more than ever. By the time she had unlocked the door, the feeling was starting to overwhelm her. She still had no clue to exactly why he decided to show up unannounced. He claimed it was because he missed her, but a part of her felt like there was more to his visit.

Nothing about Amanda's apartment changed, yet the place seemed unfamiliar. He couldn't put a finger to why it felt unfamiliar, but it did. Probably because he hasn't been there in months or maybe because he showed unannounced trying to fix whatever he fucked up. Yeah, he will admit it was his fault. He purposely missed those phone calls from her because he couldn't bear to talk to her knowing that he wouldn't be able to see her. Just hearing her voice made him miss her more than he ever did before. He thought that ignoring her would get the feeling to go away. Hell, he even went on a date with a lady he met at work. The feeling wouldn't leave him, in fact; it got so bad that he bought a ticket to New York just to come see her face.

They both took off their coats and laid them down on the couch. She asked him if he wanted a drink which he agreed to. He needed a drink to prepare for what he was about to do. It's never easy telling the person you love that you love them. He was crossing his fingers that she still felt the same way. He had a strong feeling that she did, but he didn't want to jinx it. He took the glass of water from her and took a long sip of it. It was now or never he told himself.

"Amanda, when I told you outside that I missed you I was being serious. I honestly miss you like hell. It was my fault that we stopped talking, I thought that if I stopped talking to you that this feeling would go away, but it never did. I wanted to tell you this before I left for California. Fuck, I should've told you long before making my decision to move to California, and definitely before I got shot. What I'm trying to tell you are that this feeling I've had about you for a long time should've been expressed to you long ago because you deserve to know. Amanda, I love you."

Amanda just stared at him for a bit. She didn't know what to say, well she did but she was afraid to say it. She had always felt the same way about him for such a long time that when he stopped talking to her it hurt her. It had changed her. Even Olivia mentioned that she changed. When you think the person you love doesn't love you too it hurts like hell. It changes you.
He grabbed her hand and just held it. The look in her eyes told him that she loved him just as much as him, but he wanted to hear her say those three words to him. Hearing them out loud would change everything. After the divorce got finalized with Maria he thought he wasn't going to be able to love someone again, but then one night changed everything.

He remembers the night so clearly. As if it happened yesterday when they first got together. It was right after the Munoz case. It was a tough case from start to finish. It was also personal for their A.D.A., Barba. Nick had asked her if she wanted to grab a drink and she agreed. Throughout the whole night, they are flirting up a storm. When they got into the cab to go back to her place that's when everything changed and from that night forward they snuck around. There were some ups and downs, but they always settled it.

Nick glanced at the clock and back at Amanda. It was 10:49 pm, and she still had not said anything. He knew he should give her some time to process. He told her he was leaving and where he was staying for the night. He had to go back to California tomorrow evening. He grabbed his jacket and left. As he closed the door Amanda got up and opened the door.

"Nick!"

This was it he thought. She was going to say it back. His trip to New York wasn't a failure.

"Good night, I...Do you want to grab a bite before you catch your flight tomorrow?"

"Yeah, that would be nice."

He thought that this was the moment, but clearly, it wasn't. Maybe she needed time to process things. He did show up at her place unannounced. If she won't say anything tomorrow then he knew that his trip was a waste of time. All he kept thinking was that she needed to know how he felt. She just needed to know even if she didn't feel the same way about him.

It's not like she didn't want to tell Nick that she loved him too, but he was gone for so long. Did she really love him or did she just love the feeling of him? He was gone for long and he didn't show that he loved her. He was the one who stopped calling, stopping answering, and he was definitely the one who stopped caring. So why should she tell him that she loved him for? A part of her always knew that she loved him, but when he stopped the other part of her did too.

She didn't know what to do. Everything seemed confusing to her. The one thing she did finally figure out was that she loved Nick. That part wasn't confusing even if she wanted to deny it, she couldn't. She was going to tell him before he left that she loves him. That what he feels about her is the same way she feels about him.

She planned on heading to work and when it was an hour before he had to catch his flight she would drive over to see him and hopefully give him a ride to the airport. Nothing important or interesting was happening at work. Amanda wasn't even paying attention to the time because when she looked at the clock it was already time to leave. Way past time to leave. She only would have enough time to meet him at the airport if she was lucky.

She grabbed her jacket and ran for it. She could hear Carisi asking if everything was ok; she replied by saying she was going to kill him when she gets back. When she had said that he knew where she was going.

Nick looked down at his watch and he was hoping that maybe Amanda still felt the same way. He left the ball in her court. Up to her if she still wanted to make everything. Yeah, it had been a few months, but he still loved her with every ounce in his body. He waited for the longest time possible until he had to leave.
Nick had just got done with security check when he heard his name being yelled. There was Amanda running towards. She ran right to him. He grabbed her and pulled her in for a kiss. Right after she pulled out of the kiss she said the three words that keep him here forever.

"I love you."

Author's Note: This is probably rough, but I haven't written in awhile. I felt like now was a great time. I do plan on writing a new chapter for This Our Journey. At this moment I felt like writing a one shot. I needed to get back into the flow of writing and the perfect way for me to get that flow going again was writing a one shot.

I somewhat feel confident in this story but at the same time I don't, it honestly has been so long since I wrote anything. And I'm apologizing now for this one-shot being so damn long. I really do hope those of you who have read this story enjoyed it. Leave a review!