Title: Tetsuya Nomura's Gangsta Paradise
Summary: In Tetsuya's world, one must fight to survive. There is no escape from hell, and the overpowering darkness. He can only wonder. . . Will the staff ever understand his relationship with Ventus? Can he defeat Riku, and win back his glory?
Author's Notes: So, here it is. The glorious story written by yours truly and her best friend on our shared account. Once you begin to read, you will be lost in its beauty and originality. A true work of art we have created.
Disclaimer: None of this belongs to me or my partner, obviously.
Warnings: Rated "T" for mature themes. . . which actually don't even show up in this story that much, man. . . Also, extreme stupidity. Like, X-TREME. But hey, the best things are always the stupid things.
There's Always a Thin Line Between Fantasy and Reality. . .
One harsh, fall day, Tetsuya Nomura decides to put two hearts instead of one when Sora dies. The staff, being so ignorant and close-minded, did not understand. Tetsuya Nomura, feeling quite misunderstood, turned to his trusty journal and began to write down his inner thoughts. And this is when it is revealed that Tetsuya Nomura has deluded himself in thinking he is a "Gangsta".
"They just don' understan' me!" he cried onto the the flower bordered pages. You see, there are no other Black persons in Kingdom Hearts as Tetsuya is the only one, and has decided he can be the only one. Who else can he turn to but a wee Journal?
"Dem bitches gunna learn, they don't know Ventus like I do. Me and Ventus, we got a connection, we gangstas!" Tetsuya exclaimed with his pencil!
One night, when Tetsuya was having awesome dream, because Kingdum Hearts is just a dream that he thinks is real. Anyway, he was on Destiny Islands; the sun was gangsta gold, and the trees green like freshly printed dough! Sora was out playing on the island, not gangsta-ly of course, since he is white but, being the polite gangsta Tetsuya is, he chose to talk to him anyway,
"Hey Sora! Hey, how it be? How it be?" he exclaimed with awesome ghetto glee!
"Now, I know you don't know me but, you is connected with Ventus, and me and Ventus, we g's. So that makes us g's, my brutha." Then suddenly Sora's voice became Jesse McCartney, and he replied, quite ghetto-ly,
"Hay Tetsuya, hello my brutha from anothur mothur. My home skillet biscuit."
"Ooooooooouh, Ventus. I knew you was in there. Hiding up inside another body, you is so smart, you smart cookie, you." Tetsuya began to go into a deep explanation of Ventus' and his relationship so that Sora would not be left in the dark. He could just not let that happen!
"Me and you, Ventus, we gots connection. We gangsta brothers, we loyal to each-other. Me and you, we gangsta gold. The definition, together we are Tetsuya Ventus Gangsta-Gold Nomura. But, anyway, anyway, we need ta talk bout yo son, yo son issues. That mixed ass son o yours, Roxas."
"See, I know he mixed, half gangsta from you and half whitey from that Sora over der. But, you gotta be careful, he got enemy blood up in his veins. Those whiteys, they ain't like gangstas. They ain't got no respect, no loyalty. They don't even know they definition of the word "gangsta", they don't know what we can do. Your son, he could turn on your ass any moment, he white. Anyway, I gotta get me some pussy. I need to make this into a pimpin' universe." and so Tetsuya Nomura went off to find bitches and whores, the first of which being Riku, since he was the easiest to persuade. Soon, Tetsuya Nomura would have a bitches and whores army, with people like Aqua and Ansem the wise, who happened to be one of his favorites, except the beard was scratchy. . . in a good way.
He turned Namine and Kairi, who disgusting uncle scrooge paid to have sex with, that damn duck, into sex slaves because he could do that. One must keep in mind that he's the Tetsuya Nomura. But, then it was revealed that Riku was super secret agent along with Squall, who is now in this story. Tetsuya Nomura noticed that his dough is running short, what could be happening? Thanks to super secret source, baby Zack, he discovered that Riku is stealing his money, and working for Squall's Justice Squad?
"BUT WHY!11" Tetsuya nNomura wondered loud. Thanks to other super secret source, baby Zack's biffle, merchant moogle, a questionable name indeed, he found out that Squall had told Riku that he would give him extra money so he could move to a secluded island with his lover, Terra, if he could bust the bad guys. BIG PROBLEM THOUGH, Riku has strange habit of being a slut with people he's trying to catch, OH NOES111! So, Tetsuya Nomura decided to do an evil thing! He would kidnap Terra and hold him ransom until he got his money back, such evil doings. So, he sent one of his most trusted gangstas, Marluxia, to steal Terra.
Marluxia appeared outside of Terra's house around three in the morning; it was dark, almost as dark as his gangsta fresh skin. He entered the window sneakily, but also gangsta like so it included a boombox, he was startled to hear the sound of meows, he was sure Riku had went home already. He was shocked to see Riku sleeping with Terra in his bed, meowing in his sleep! Now, Marluxia knew he had to be extra sneakily and gangsta, he could not be afraid of no whitey. And because Terra was heavily addicted to Ambien, he was easy to pick up and throw out the window. Marluxia cleverly left the boombox, with the ransom rap by Tetsuya Nomura, and fled from the scene with Terra on his shoulders! Riku woke soon after to a ransom rap that was awesome and full of gangsta pleasure and CGI animation. He was quite enraged! He had to save Terra so that they could move to a secluded island so he could hula dance while Terra sang the crazy frog song, which he had knack for, and he knew that Riku really liked that song... a lot.
Meanwhile, at Tetsuya Nomura's gangsta lair, Marluxia returned successfully with Terra, who was kinda heavy. Tetsuya waited, but did not know what awaited him. One thing he did know was that he wasn't afraid of no whitey.
To be Continued. . . ?
Though, It Easily Goes Unnoticed.
SUCH SUSPENSE. What will happen in the upcoming chapter?
Will Riku save Terra and run away with him?
Will Tetsuya be afraid of a "whitey"?
Is this story all just a really stupid joke?
You'll just have to read and find out, won't you!
Oh, and my friends were giving me such a hard time about posting this, as I'm so lazy and don't do anything. Now, you guys can finally read it, okay? NOW LEAVE ME BE, I AM JUST ONE APE-MAN. And, forgive this Ape-man if the story is looking wonky. FF is giving me some serious lip.
You can review this if you want to, man. . . Or you could flame it? . . . Also, run-on sentences are good for your health! Really! I mean, don't you feel healthier already?