Free! Watches 50% off
Summary: Exactly as the title says. I hope this is humorous. Based off of "YGOTAS reactions" and "White TV Room." WARNING: swearing and crack.
Author's note: After just finishing the first season of Free! ad watching all of 50% off I couldn't help but think I owed it to the fandom to create this fanfic. I hope you enjoy and check out the other fanfics mentioned in the summary. I will update as much as possible but my schedule is often spotty, just a forewarning. Please R&R and check out my other pieces in other fandoms. By the way, I am a real swimmer I can attest to the Free! Episodes being shockingly accurate with only a few errors. If you have any questions about actually swimming or terminology, don't hesitate to PM me.
Bold is abridged
Haru's hand smacked the touchpad hard, stopping the clock on his 200 free. 2:05. Not bad. It was enough for this practice at least. He turned around, only to find that his teammates had not yet left for the locker rooms, but were having what appeared to be a water fight in the center of the pool.
Makoto was using his long arms fully to his advantage to swamp Nagisa while Rei had been intelligent enough to realize that going underwater and using his feet provided absolutely no accuracy but a large payoff in power. Blubbering under the stream of aquatic abuse, Nagisa noticed Haru had finished his test set and waved him over, "come on Haru-chan!"
Normally Haru would have sighed and joined reluctantly, grumbling mentally about some sort of homework he should have been doing, but today was a Friday and the Iwatobi Swim Team had an entire weekend ahead of them. So he ducked under a couple of lane lines and came up right in the center, earning a thorough splashing from the other three.
Shaking the water out his eyes, Haru extended both of his arms and began to spin, sending veritable waves over his friends. They all squealed like little babies and Haru's lips curled up ever so slightly. He tried to stop spinning in order to allow them to retaliate, but found the spiraling motion only increasing in speed.
"Hey, Haru stop it, you're spinning us too!" Makoto exclaimed.
Haru met his friend's eyes, panic stifling his voice. "It isn't me Makoto!"
The pool water continued to spin and spin, sweeping all four members off their feet and whirling them around into a huge whirlpool. Nagisa crashed into Rei and they both went careening off to the right. The whirlpool grew higher and higher until suddenly a wall of water slammed into Haru and he lost sight of the others, falling down, down, down…
His back hit a cushion. Haru sat up violently, whipping his head from side to side. It wasn't possible. It just wasn't possible. He blinked hard several times, trying to dispel the unmistakable hallucination he must be having. Maybe they should speak to someone about the chlorine levels in the pool. Makoto had read in a book once that chlorine gas could kill people almost instantly. Nope, what a stubborn hallucination. At least it was creative.
The cushion Haru's back had hit was attached to a chair, a very comfortable burgundy chair, one of five in the small room. Soft jazz buzzed in through unseen speakers and a fire burned in a fireplace a meter from his bare feet. He was still wearing his swimsuit but it was perfectly dry as was the chair and the rest of his body. Lights dotted the ceiling randomly, shedding low luminescence across the whole ridiculous scene. An brown end table with clawed paws sat to his left, a sleek black DVD player and a disk sitting atop it. A large screen TV hung over the fireplace.
More to the left was Makoto, asleep in one of the other chairs, and as Haru looked around he saw Nagisa and Rei in the others. The right most chair was also occupied and Haru almost fell out of his when he saw the sharp teeth and sloppy red bangs of Rin.
Haru stood up and tiptoed over to Makoto, noting that there were no doors or windows in this hallucination, a fact that concerned him more than it should, considering none of this was real.
"Makoto." Haru shook his shoulder. "Makoto. Wake up Makoto."
Bleary hazel eyes blinked open and Makoto sat up, yawning wide. "Haru?" He asked. "W-whas goin on?"
"I don't know. I think we're all hallucinating. You were absolutely right about the chlorine being dangerous."
Makoto woke up more and rapidly took in their surroundings. "Good lord," he breathed. "Let's wake the others."
Makoto took Nagisa and Haru took Rei then the four of them played roshambo to decide who woke up Rin. Rei lost as usual.
"Rin-san," he whispered. "Rin-san."
Rin stirred slightly then sat up, rubbing his head. "What the- Where are we?"
"We don't know." Makoto answered. "Haru and I thought we were having a chlorine induced hallucination but you're here so it can't be just our pool. Do you remember anything before you got here?"
"No, nothing. I was at practice, finishing a butterfly set, but everything is a blank after that."
Nagisa put a finger to his lips. "I remember we were playing some sort of splash game but it's all so blurry."
Rei laid a hand on his shoulder. "There has got to be a logical explanation. We just have to find it."
Haru spoke up quietly. "There are no doors or windows in this room, just the five chairs, a DVD player, a disk, a TV, and the fireplace."
Everyone stared at him; it was unusual to even hear him speak so much, especially in detail. Rin growled softly and ran his hand through his hair.
"So we don't know how we got here or how to leave." A silence fell over the group. Nagisa giggled nervously.
"Maybe we should put the DVD in, we might learn something from that." The others agreed reluctantly and Makoto picked up the disk. Rin and Rei scooted the chairs closer so everyone could see. Makoto inserted the disk and the TV came to life, a short message scrolling in white letters across the black screen.
"Welcome. I am Ragingstillness and I have been watching you. A spectator, if you will, to your wonderfully interesting lives. Not to worry though, I mean you no harm, and you will be allowed to leave when everything is over. You are perfectly safe. I only have one request of you all, and you must comply. The next screen will show a single play button. You must press the corresponding button on the DVD player and watch the following videos. You will notice the only buttons are play and pause. Feel free to use them at your discretion as you discuss what you are about to see. I hope you are as excited as I am."
The room was silent. Nagisa whimpered slightly and curled himself into his chair.
"So we have to watch some videos? Big deal, kind of lame for a stalkery kidnapper," Rin scoffed.
"I say we do it. Why not?" Makoto nodded seriously. "She said she meant us no harm. Aside from her demand to watch the videos we seem to be in kind if constricting hands." (A/N: Yay, Makoto trusts me).
There was a bleeping noise and the aforementioned play button appeared on screen. Haru reached forward with trepidation and pressed it. A splooshing sound was heard and a young boy dove into what looked like a pool. The narration quickly began.
"I always thought swimming was kind of like doing somebody. You dive in, flop around a bit, then you either get booed or somebody gives you a medal."
The gang exchanged awkward confused looks. Nagisa looked particularly out of the loop and Rin seemed on the edge of thinking it was funny. The camera moved out of the water and onto the deck.
"Is it weird for me to think he looks good in that swimsuit? I mean, really good. It's totally not weird right?"
"That's us!" Makoto exclaimed, staring incredulously at the younger versions of him and Nagisa staring out of the screen. That didn't sound like his voice at all but it was definitely them. Rin laughed slightly.
"I think it is weird Makoto."
"Hey, I didn't actually say that. Whoever made this video is giving me a strange voiceover."
"Ooh, new meat."
It was only the tiniest glimpse but Rin sat up straighter as he recognized his own younger self diving off another block.
"And then I found out, swimming isn't like that at all. You can't have sex with your neighbor's above ground backyard pool. What was I talking about?"
Makoto broke into a laughing fit. "Did he say 'with' or in?"
Nagisa giggled too. "Your voiceover really likes water Haru." The slightest of red blushes painted the tops of Haru's cheeks. Rei patted him on the shoulder.
"It's ok Haruka-sempai. Loving to swim is nothing to be ashamed of."
Little Haru hit the wall and surfaced, shaking water out of his hair. "Hey, let me help you out of that swimsuit,-POOL! The-the pool…"
Makoto dropped his head into his hands. "Oh my God. Why, cruel world."
Rin snickered behind his hand. "I never knew you felt that way Makoto."
Makoto just moaned into his hands. He looked up at Haru who refused to meet his eyes.
"I am so sorry Haru, I swear I would never say that. It's just the voiceover." Haru still looked slightly horrified and sunk into his chair, losing posture by the second.
Little Haru grabbed little Makoto's hand. "He touched me!"
Nagisa chuckled, his hands covering his mouth.
"You're Haru right? You're as fast as they say."
Rin leaned forward at the first time his voiceover had spoken.
Little Rin got out of the pool. "My name is Rin. I sure hope we become best friends. But I don't hope we have a falling out over a race, leading us to have an intense, emotion-heavy, dramatic, competitive, love-hate relationship later on." "Yeah that would be awful."
Everyone but Rin and Haru laughed at this, even Rei chuckling softly. "It is so true," Nagisa gasped.
There were a couple more moments toggling dramatically between Rin and Haru's faces before the words "Splash free," were heard and the words "50% off," appeared on screen. The screen went black and the white play button appeared again. This time no one moved to press it.