Casey knew what she had done was unethical, unprofessional, but she couldn't let herself try this case, couldn't let Saul go to prison when he truly belonged somewhere he could get better.
Even still, the guilt crept up through her body as she walked down the office hallway, walking into her and Alex's office. She didn't see Alex at first, so she let herself cry silently. Alex was on the couch, however, and she immediately looked up in concern when she heard a soft sob.
"Casey?"
"A-Alex!" Casey whipped around, trying frantically to wipe away the tears, "I thought you were in court, I'm sorry."
"It got postponed, but that doesn't matter. Casey, what's wrong?"
"It's nothing, I'll be fine."
"It's clearly not nothing if you're crying over it..." Alex stood up and walked over to the redhead, placing her hands on Casey's shoulders, "Talk to me?"
"It's the Picard case...I...I did something, something the human part of me knows was right but, now Olivia and Elliot are mad at me, and I'm pretty sure McCoy is going to kill me..." Casey mentally berated herself for her weakness as more tears slipped down her face.
"What did you do, Case?" Alex's voice was soft, and there was no sign of judgement anywhere in her tone.
"When Elliot testified, I used him to prove that Picard isn't competent..." Casey choked out, looking away from Alex, "It's just that, I know what schizophrenia does, I know how it affects people, and Saul Picard deserves to go to a mental institution, not prison."
"You know? There's more to this than just Picard, isn't there?"
"...Yes."
"What happened to you, Casey?" Alex whispered, her arms wrapped around Casey now, their foreheads touching. Suddenly, they leapt apart as the door swung open.
"Are you proud of yourself?!" Olivia stood in front of Casey, anger etched into her face.
"Olivia please..."
"You manipulated me and Elliot for your own agenda!"
"I did what I had to do!" Casey started yelling too, Alex quickly backing off into the corner, sensing this wasn't something she should meddle with.
"I know what this is about, what it's really about!"
"This is about JUSTICE, Olivia! Picard doesn't belong in prison, he needs help!"
"Help? Like Charlie got?!" Olivia yelled, Alex looking at the two of them in confusion as Olivia yanked open Casey's desk drawer, pulling out a photo as Casey ran over, "Where is he now, Casey?! Your schizo ex fiancé?! He locked up somewhere? Huh?!"
Alex's eyes went wide and she rushed over to Casey's side, watching as the redhead's own eyes filled with tears, a look of betrayal on her face.
"You've gone too far...This is MY case." Casey shakily replied, stepping in front of Alex, who was now standing protectively near the redhead, "I don't work for you."
"We'll see about that." Olivia growled, putting down the photo, turning on her heel, and marching out of the room. As soon as she was gone, Casey grabbed the photo and collapsed, sinking to her knees. Alex quickly crouched down next to her, concern in her eyes.
"His name is Charlie. We were so in love, Alex, so in love. We thought we were going to have this beautiful life, and then he got sick. Schizophrenia. It ruined him, he was so full of life before, and then the meds made him a zombie. He thought that he didn't need them, that he didn't have to take them, because they made him feel awful. So he stopped without telling me." Casey sobbed, falling into Alex's arms as the blonde rested her chin on Casey's head, eyes wide, "One night, when I came home from work, he became convinced I was trying to poison him, and h-he attacked me."
"Oh Casey..." Alex whispered, tears softly falling down her own cheeks at her friend's pain.
"The police came because my neighbors called in a disturbance...and when they came, they saw the cuts and the bruises on my face and neck..." Casey's voice broke, her words making Alex gasp and hold her more tightly, "I begged them not to take him in, and when they still insisted, I-I identified myself as an ADA and told them I would handle it."
"Casey, why didn't you..."
"I was convinced I could save him, Alex, but when he kept refusing to take his meds, and hurting me, I couldn't take it. I-I left him. I moved out and broke off the engagement." Casey whispered, more tears escaping her eyes.
"What happened?" Alex hesitantly asked, her hold on Casey growing firmer.
"I got a call six months ago from the morgue." Casey choked out, hearing Alex's gasp, "A John Doe. No ID on him, but my business card. It was Charlie. Even though I know it wasn't my fault, part of me can't help but think, that if I had stayed with him, he'd still be alive."
"Casey...no. He was hurting you, you did what you had to do to survive. He made the choice to not take his meds, and nothing you could've done would've changed that." Alex grabbed Casey's face between her hands, her eyes rapidly scanning the redhead's face.
"I know. I loved him though. I still love him, and part of me will always love him."
"Just because you love someone, doesn't mean you condone what they do."
"I know. You wanna know what's funny? The day after I found out, we worked our first case together."
"You worked that case twenty four seven with me even after you found out your ex fiancé died?!"
"I owed it to you. And it proved to be a nice distraction."
"I didn't even notice anything was wrong...I'm so sorry..."
"Don't be. You helped me more than you know." Casey placed a hand on Alex's cheek, then leaned over and kissed the other cheek.
"I'm always here for you, Casey. Olivia was wrong to bring it up like that."
"I'm here for you too, Alex. And she's pissed. I get it. Maybe I wouldn't stoop that low, but, she's used to having to play dirty. I get it."
"Hey, Case?"
"Hmm?"
"I love you." Alex whispered, watching Casey's smile spread across her face, the redhead pulling the two of them off the floor, before hugging Alex properly, her arms wrapped around her neck.
"I love you too, Alex." Casey buried her face in Alex's neck, blonde strands brushing her face as they held each other tightly, Casey reflecting on the memories she had, and Alex, like the overprotective woman she was, silently reminding herself to go yell at Olivia once they broke apart.