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Rated M for obvious reasons. If you can't handle the extreme, then go read a K fanfiction, otherwise don't say I didn't warn you. This fanfiction is written by thelovelessmystery and hishypnoticwhispers (Alex & Anna). Yes this will be the same length as any novel, maybe even longer. Yes you will find a few lemons... or two ;] Don't read if you can't handle mature content.

Twilight and its characters are owned by Stephanie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended with the posting of this story.

Balance Between Life and Death

Chapter One: Memories and New Beginnings

BELLA POV

"MOM! DAD! LOOK OUT!" That's all my breath willed me to let out. I saw the headlights, I heard the screams, I couldn't move. I was glued to the pavement.

Then there was blood, lots of blood. I couldn't see who they were any more, just human remains. The boy in the other car, who was he? I start walking over to the car just about the open the handle...

I woke up, my body covered in sweat, tears streaming down my face. Not this dream again, playing over and over like a bad record. I heard this faint yelling willing me out of my daze.

"BELLA!, GET YOUR ASS OUT OF BED YOUR GOING TO BE LATE FOR YOUR SHIFT!" Ugh stupid Esme, my Aunt was looking after me now, I glanced over at the clock, the red flashing numbers read 7:30pm. Crap. Looks like im already late. Oh well as Aro always says "ill just deduct it from your pay check, Isabella" in that creepy tone of a voice with the gut wrenching smile. Why did I work for this dickhead? Oh because Esme said she would send me to boarding school if I didn't keep this job.

Like she cares anyway. I shuffled out of my tiny room and into the bathroom across the hall, I slammed the door so Esme knew I would be pissed.

I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror because I knew what I would see. A lean girl, deep brown eyes that are bloodshot, light purple rings under my eyes almost black hair. Yeah im going through a 'faze' as Esme says.

She thinks ill snap out of this daze im always in and she thinks she will get the old Bella back, but the truth is. She died the day her parents died. The only thing keeping her going was Esme, she never had any children of her own. Just step-children, ones Carlisle already had with another woman. I don't understand how Esme could love Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie like they were her own, I just don't get it.

I knew Alice would be banging down this bathroom door in about 10minutes if I wasn't out, she was working tonight also but her shift didn't start till 9pm but she was NEVER late for anything, like ever. So she grew accustom to making me be early for everything also. I couldn't help but love her. She was like the sister I never had.

"ISABELLA MARIE SWAN!" uh oh Alice never uses my full name unless something is really wrong.

"WHATS WRONG ALICE IM IN THE SHOWER" I yelled from the serenity of heat and steam I was in. As I turned the water off and started to step out of the shower, Alice has let herself into the bathroom and was sitting on the vanity.

"Jeez! Alice" I said as I grabbed the towel off the rack and tried to cover my naked body from my sister.

"What Bells? I can't wait for you in the bathroom? You do realise your late for work, and I want to do your hair and make up. Now go and get dressed and come back in here immediately, I need to cover up those purple rings under your eyes" Whoa Alice could talk, but then again that was Alice and I knew there was no point fighting with her about the hair and make-up situation, cause I always ended up caving anyway and letting her do it.

I grimaced at my big sister "Sure Alice, why not? There's no point arguing about it any more, you always win" I said in a sarcastic tone, trying to hide the pain that was slowly trying to escape from me. Of course Alice saw the sadness in my eyes, she was so good at reading people, I don't know what it was.

"Bella, sweetie. Are you okay?" Alice jumped off the vanity counter and took my hands in her hands.

"I have been better, it's just..never mind" I tried to brush off this topic, I didn't want to melt down in front of here while I only have a towel covering my naked body.

"Bella, listen to me" Alice took my face in her hands. "You know you can tell me anything right?" I nodded slightly.

"I know your not really ready to talk about the pain you have been through, because I have never experienced that type of physical and emotional pain before, but I know if I ever lost Jazz I would crack, hard to imaging me cracking right? But yeah, just know im here for you no matter what" Alice always knew how to get some form of information out of me, but this was one of those moments where I felt I could let it all out, I opted on telling her about my nightmare.

"Yeah Alice I know, im sorry im always in such a mood, it's just the dreams are coming back again and they are stronger this time. I know I was never there when it happened, but I feel like im there with them, and I can't help the fact that if I hadn't told them to go on a holiday together instead of stay home and look after me, their troubled daughter, they would still be here".

Alice's eyes widened in alarm, then a tear fell out of her eye and she hugged me aggressively.

"Bells, you can't honestly blame yourself for the accident, it was the other drivers fault. You know that right? Now I know you dont want to talk about this, but we will need to someday. I'm willing to wait for you to tell me, only when your ready, Okay?" Alice grinned wide and I couldn't help but mimicking her expression

"Yeah okay Alice, but im kinda freezing here..." We had both forgotten we were still in the bathroom.

"Oh Bella! Sorry! Go and get changed for work, ill turn on the curling iron and set up some make-up"

I walked back into my room, closing the door behind me. I felt the urge to crawl back into bed and just cry, but I knew that wasn't moving forward, that was just going 1,000 steps back, my therapist said to me. "Isabella, you need to keep moving forward, never backwards or your never going to recover".

Yeah I knew Victoria was right, I have to move forward, so I made up the mantra that I say every morning to get me through the day "I will be kind today, not think about bad things, only good. If people ask how I am, I will say im fine. I'm Fine."

I started looking in my wardrobe for something to wear, when I realised my 'uniform' had already been laid out on my bed by Alice. It was a pair of black skinny jeans, a plain white tee with the restaurants logo on it "Rita's Restaurant" ugh what a tacky name, so cliché.

I usually wouldn't wear tight fitting clothes, but Alice always got pissed if I didn't wear her clothes so I figured, the more I wear them, the 'tallies' I have for bargaining when I want to wear my normal clothes. I pulled on the extremely tight jeans and the tee shirt and walked back into the bathroom, not ready to put on my 6inch black thigh high boots yet.

"Bella you actually put on the clothes I picked , your the best!" Alice pulled me into a hug.

"Yeah I did" I smiled widely and sat in the chair facing the vanity so Alice could work on my hair.

"So Bella?" I knew that tone of voice Alice was putting on, she was going to ask me about boys...

"No Alice, im not interested at anyone at college okay?" I know it was rude to assume but she was always prying into my love life, she didn't understand how 'a hot sexy female specimen' like myself could still be a virgin.

"Bella! Why do you always think im going to ask about boys? Well anyway I was actually going to tell you...well it's kinda embarrassing..." Alice getting embarrassed, this is a first.

"Uh, I dont know what im getting myself into by saying this but...what is it?" I had definitely dug myself a hole say those three words.

"Okay! Well um...ah..mm, I dont know If I should tell- ah. no." Alice was stalling, oh I was annoyed.

"Alice! Just spit it out!" I didn't mean to yell, but I was really curious now.

"I'm finished with you hair now, ill do your make-up only light." Whoa Alice had actually ignored me, and changed subjects. This must be bad, or good. You could never tell with Alice.

"Okay" I said while Alice asked me to close my eyes as she put my mascara on I thought about what she was saying before. She only usually gets that way about boys, and she has Jazz now so who would be making her act all weird?

"All Done" man Alice was fast and good, I took a look at myself in the mirror. You couldn't see the purple rings or anything, I looked amazing. More like I was going to a club then work, but what you gonna do?

"Okay, whoa Alice. This is uh- whoa. Thank-you" I gave Alice a huge hug, I ran back into my room and put the thigh high boots on, they weren't as easy to get on as they seemed...I glanced at my clock again, 7:55pm. Alice was sure good. She apparently called Aro and said we were both starting at 8:30pm tonight. She was such a lifesaver, she made up some story about extended family coming over or something, so that means I wont loose any of my pay cheque. I smiled happily at that thought.

"Bella, get your ass in the car, it's 8pm I dont want to be late...again" Alice half yelled at me out the car window, I wasn't walking slow just cautious because the walkway was filled with rocks, just a disaster waiting to happen for me to fall over. I climbed in the car and as soon as the door shut, Alice was speeding down the road.

"Alice, we will make it in time, you can slow down" she just ignored me, she loved to speed. I swear I head her mutter "he has to still be there, they have to meet" I wonder what she is on about? Oh well.

We pulled up outside Rita's, and walked in through the back entrance so we wouldn't draw too much attention to the main restaurant. It was pretty packed tonight, for a usual Thursday night it was good. I grabbed my Order booklet and started walking around taking orders, just the usual customers Billy and his son Jacob, who grinned wickedly at me as he pretty much eye fucked my legs covered in leather. I just ignored the boy, sure he was good looking. But not what I wanted.

I wrote down their meal and gave it to Mike who was working the kitchen tonight.

"Hey Mike, what's sup? Here's another order." I smiled at Mike, he too was looking down at my legs. I just ignored that fact that a low "fuck me" came out of his mouth, I turned around and walked to serve another table when Alice was standing right in front of me scaring me for the second time tonight.

"Bella, im feeling a bit sick, could you take table 13's order?" Poor thing she didn't seem sick before, must be a flu or something.

"Yeah sure Ali, table 13?" I confirmed just to make sure I heard her right the first time.

"Yeah that's the one" she said almost too happily.

As I walked over to table 13 I saw the most attractive man sitting there all by himself, he didn't look any older than me maybe 18 or 19. He was wearing a leather jacket, black combat boots and dark denim jeans. He was so hot, I just wanted to have him in ways Alice would slap me for. Why am I thinking this, no guy ever gets me like this. Who was he?

"Hi, what would you like?" I said politely, not wanting to sound like some weird girl, who was just staring at this amazing man for the past 5 minutes.

"You" His voice was so sexy! Wait did I just hear him correctly?

"Excuse me?" I replied trying not to freak out. His tongue slipped out of his mouth and licked his bottom lip, showing his piercing. My God that was hot! He leaned towards me, his finger willing me bend down. So I did so I could hear his whisper.

"I said, I would like you." he said once again in a seductive tone, this had caught me by surprise, who was this person, why did he think he could toy with me? Well ill give it right back.

"Well im sorry sir. I'm off limits until I finish work." yeah that better shut him up.

"Sir? I believe that is not my name Bella" what the hell! He knew my name... how did he! Oh my name badge, damn it! He was at an advantage tonight.

"My Name is Edward, Edward Cullen" He gestured his hand out for a handshake, I willingly placed my hand in his, he didn't shake it. He placed a feather light kiss on the top of my hand.

"Nice to meet you" I replied, what the hell am I doing I never act like this, I hardly knew him.

"I know this might seem forward, but what school do you go to?" he was asking about my school ugh, should I lie, no that would be rude...so I replied "Seattle Senior College, You?" he started laughing, he was laughing at me! I snatched my hand out of his not realising it was still there.

"Why are you laughing at me?" I was seriously pissed off now. He smiled at me, my god that smile, it was crooked just one side of his mouth curled up, oh his lips. I could feel them on mine. I wanted them there, I wanted to- GEEZ BELLA! Snap out of it. I didn't realise but as I had my little dream there he was staring at me, not creepy like Jacob or Mike, but there was a look in his eyes like he wanted more than just to fuck me.

"I'm laughing, not at you. Just the fact is, we go to the same school. I thought I recognised you." same school? Hot guy called Edward, just said he recognised me! Ohmygosh ohmygosh!

"Oh really? So you have been watching me?" I tried to play it cool, but my heart was pounding out of my chest.

"Not exactly, look it looks busy here. Ill come back another night. Alice gave me your number. See you around Bella" The way he said my name, Bellaaa. Gosh it was so dreamy. 'Alice gave me your number' huh? What! My brain just totally clicked. The embarrassment in the bathroom, that sly comment in the car, she had set this up. She made we wear these fuck me boots so he would notice. Oh My Gosh! I wasn't even pissed at her I was so happy.

Tomorrow at school, im going to find Edward and talk to him. He just totally blew me off. There sitting on the table was a one hundred dollar bill. Edward Cullen just tipped me $100, and he didn't even eat anything..there was no way he was getting away with this. I'm going to school and throwing his money back at him. He thinks he can buy my friendship? Is that all he wants? Does he want more? Oh who cares cause well he is dead wrong. I cannot and will not be bought.