Warning: The movie is rated M/MA (16/former 18). I took over parts and quotes of the movie (italic letters). Therefore and because I used the same style of writing (or at least I tried) there are a LOT, a very LOT of cuss words and strong language in it. So I rated this story M but I recommend you being either stone-hearted^^ or 18 or older to read this (hehe, there's kind of irony in this). Please don't complain afterwards about what happens in this story or what is said there because I warned you. I also warn you that there might be strong violence in this story and everything else which could be a reason for rating this M/MA.

I do not own anything.

I took over quotes from the movie. I hope I marked them correctly (recognizable in italic letters).

It is difficult to divide this story into chapters because it actually tells the movie. So I just try. So you just read and comment, okay? ;) Great.

PS: It helps watching the movie before or while reading.^^

'What are you takin' me for…a cunt?'

'It is nineteen sixty-eight. I'm playing when all of a sudden, Fat John is coming. Not that he was fat because he wasn't. He was skinny. But he was called Fat because his mum was fat. […]

"Go and see Freddie Mays."

Fucking hell. My heart was going mad. Freddie Mays!'

And so I was sitting now on the couch in his business apartment. What a place. A fucking palace.

I look at Tommy, the old house pet and at the two mobsters, bodyguards, I assume. Then he came. And he was not alone. Accompanied by a woman, twenty perhaps, at most. She was blond, had her hair in a tight ponytail, she was very tall for a woman, I estimated her to be one meter eighty.

She wore dark blue jeans, black sports shoes, a black top and a dark brown, very dark brown leather jacket. I could see the gun in her holster, she is not the bitch for the guys, perhaps she is, but she also is one of them, I can see that in her dark black eyes that are cold. Her skin is very pale and I think she is far too thin for her height.

There he was. In […] Italian leather shoes […] what a man. And he sat down on the couch in front of me and she sat down right next to him. He put his arm around her shoulder but I could see that he wasn't the only man who she was fucking with.

She was watching me intensively and I could see a little smile in her face. She also wanted to shag me, that was clear. But I concentrated back on Freddie Mays. He offers me a drink and I accept.

'Are you scared?' 'Nah.' What a question. Fucking yeah, man, I was scared. But I didn't want to show, of course. Because I was fucking curious what this all here meant. Scared? I didn't need a drink. I was drunk enough.

When they all laughed, the girl didn't. She seemed to be smart, smarter than that bunch of men sitting here in the room. But I was smart enough to notice that and now her slight smile wasn't a fucking-wanting-smile, it was a smile of knowledge.

A smile that she wanted to get to know me better and that she liked me. Tommy puts the drink on the table and I take the glass. I listen to Mays, listen carefully.

[…] When he smashes the glass against his bodyguard's head, I watch the woman. She remains calm, no reaction in her face, wow, she must be a fucking profi. 'You're in son' he says when he sits down again. 'And do me a favor, take out the rubbish, ya?'

We're five and nobody wants a fight with us. I tear out the guy from under the gun. He looks startled and I shortly have to smile, I wanna do it perfectly now. 'Hold him' Freddie ordered. The two guys did.

'What's the problem?'

'You are!' He starts smashing the car and I help him. Wow, this is fun. I don't know but the girl stays there still at her place, staring at us. She smiles again, she is wise and sweet like a viper. She likes the glass splattering down.

I jump in delight and see the ruined window. It makes my heart beat. We both return to the woman, her name's Theresa.

I don't believe it, that guy really wanted to stab him? Stab Freddie Mays? What an honor for me to shove his head against his fucking luxury car, push harder, press it man, yeah. I feel satisfied. 'Nice' he says and she smiles at me, more than usually.

Too many girls, I'm not interested in them. Only in the one. She's the one of Freddie Mays, Theresa. I'm more interested in alcohol and cigarettes, why do I need a cooch then?

They are so fucking happy and dancing but she only sits there, like I do. She does not join the fucking dumbasses. She's smart, with the gun in her holster and her fucking cool leather jacket.

Billy not so smart, Roland […], Derrick […], Eddie […] and Tommy, Freddie's old house pet. Happiest, fucking monkeys in a cage. Together with a bunch of stupid girls, only trying to get one of the guys' peckers for their long night at home. But this night it ain't gonna come so far. They're not like me.

I carry on smoking my delicious cigarette and try to get drunk enough to exchange a few words with Theresa whose just cuddling with Tommy. Fucking bitch, she always tends to get the older ones. He stands up, the phone is ringing.

'Boys, get in the car.' I listen carefully, might get interesting. 'The club's on the fire.' We guys look at each other, we're about three who weren't dancing with the bods. Before I stand up, I feel a hand on my shoulder. Oh my fucking god, it's Theresa and she smiles at me, she's cute, she's strong and she's Mays' bitch, not mine. The only reason why I want to have her. She is one of the first to leave, she drives the car.

We arrive and the club's literally on fire. I see Freddie standing there staring into the flames, calmly smoking.

'You seen anyone?' Tommy asks.

'No.'

Theresa runs next to him, he blows out the smoke and kisses her.

'Everybody out?' she asks and he nods, taking another drag. She cuddles her head on his shoulder, fucking god, if I were him, I would treat her more carefully. She's the only queen among us guys, the other girls are just worthy to go down on us.

I look around. How did this happen? Nobody provokes Freddie Mays, nobody who's still sane. They're trying to get answers out of the girl who escaped but gales are so damned stupid – not Theresa, she's one of us. Freddie looks tired, his club's burning down and he looks tired. He grinds and lights a new one. I look past him and see a light going on.

What the fucking hell is this? I walk past, Freddie looks up surprises, I don't care.

'What the hell is he up to?' Don't care, fucking Russian bodyguard with deep British accent. I walk down the street, want to know what it means. The car is lightening up, the lamps are dazzling me, my steps become quicker, the car is pulling out, I see the gun and hear the shot but I stand still.

This fuckin' moron can't target and I still stand when the car vanishes in the shadows. Yeah man, you're too stupid to do anything. I turn around. Freddie's glance at me, he would have been more satisfied if I got shot.

Never go out alone, the golden rule. He drags his cigarette and I look back to the shadows in which the car disappeared. This is going to be trouble. Not for me, for them.

Lenny Taylor […] think you're better than Freddie Mays? Lenny fucking Taylor.

'You brain little fuck!' His foot hits my head and I do not respond. I stare on the floor, back on the table and on the fucking tits of Theresa, sitting directly opposite to me, where Mays uses to sit.

'What did I say? What did I fucking say?'

He walks around, angrily, of course. I don't dare to move. 'What did I tell you?'

You wanna torture me? Think out something else. What was I supposed to do? He start the fire, he fucking shot at me. I beat him up, I bashed everything out of him, playing golf with his fucking head. We're five and Theresa finishes him off after we done the ground work.

She knees down to him, he's bleeding all over. She is very calm and I bet he feels her peppermint breathe on his pale skin. Blood already tickling on the floor, but she knees over him, so calm and so disciplines. Her hand touches his cheek.

'Do you want to die?' she asks, neutral not aggressive, but softly.

'No' he stammers.

'Then we haven't been hard enough' she decides and with "we" she means us, not her.

She has just watched and we prepared meal for her. She is ready to tear flesh and bone apart. And so she does. She pulls out her favorite tool, two knives, a very sharp one and one that reminds me on a dentist or pathologist. I bet she bought it in a medical store.

This time she chooses the dissecting tool, poor guy, that's the worst choice. He whimpers in fear and pain. His nose is already red and the blood is flowing down all of his face. But she does not smile anymore, although it's dark and can see no emotion in her face and when he starts to scream, her face is empty.

Only the dark black eyes, as dark as the pupils, are fixing down the body, and he screams, fucking justice, he tried to shoot me, a lousy shooter. He screams for long time, feels like hours and I'm enjoying every breath of it. After minutes of eternity she's finished with flaying his chest. It's a disaster, a fucking mess. The guy next to me turns around to chuck up.

But I like the view, what she has done to him. He's not dead yet and she kicks with her feet, his head is making a dumb noise, three, four times. Nobody can hear you scream. And finally he gives up, kicks into the stomach follow, he seems close to honking.

A final kick in his neck and he's finished, I smile seeing how he's gone from us and now I can see a little smile in her face, too. She looks up, then cleans her knife on his trousers and puts it away.

'You'll be alright?' Kicking me out of my thoughts. Mays answers snappy: 'Alright?'

I don't listen to what follows. 'It's not fucking alright, it's all fucking wrong, you morons!'

I sit there, unimpressed. There's something confusing about Theresa, she's gone so quit in the past week.

[…] 'Well, here's the chair who wants it?' he screams and points to the place next to Theresa.

'There is, come, who wants it!' I want it, I fucking want it. I see myself there, a bit older, exactly sitting like I'm now, Theresa in my arm, her head cuddled into my shoulder, I'm older, she isn't, I still don't know her age.

She's so fucking pretty and I want her. Together with that place over there, I want it, Freddie, I want. And I will fucking get it.

The place is empty again and Freddie sits down, next to Theresa and puts his arm around her shoulder. 'You ain't gotten the bugs, none of you. And you—' I know.

Not a cunt, you fucking son of a bitch. I will show you. I promise. 'You. You're coming with me' he decided. I look up surprised. We're all surprised. I stand up. Theresa and Mays stand up. She'll drive us, she's our backup. Coz she can kill in a fight twenty versus one, she's our Joker. She's his fucking Joker.

I get a gun. 'Don't use it.'

I would like to.

Maybe, maybe not.

Let's see.

Hey, look at me. Hey, can or can't. Look at me. Look in my fucking eyes. 'You fucking piss!' 'Lenny, don't fuck around.' The big boys are quarreling, when I'm so far I make sure there are no other boys, I wanna be the head, the only head and only Theresa is worth to survive the change of the big wheels.

I've seen her going with Freddie Mays home, what are they gonna do? What a question, I wanna, too. Coz Freddie does, I want his suit, his pin, his power, his girl.

[…] Oh dear Maxi, just you wait, son. Delicious pics in front of my eyes, broken glasses, window pieces flying around, Maxi just through it all. But that's nothing compared to what happened to Lenny Taylor.

I only imagine the beginning. That's gonna be fun, I already know, I will let her watch. They stand up. He's so fucking small and fat in comparison with tall and thin Freddie Mays.

I'm fascinated. Freddie remains so calm toward this moron. This fucking idiot, he's gonna pay for that.

We drive home alone. He told her to spy on Lenny. Well, one of the best things she can do, watch. Be a passive observer. And so we're alone in car. It's fucking pissing outside, pouring really.

I stare at him. He's concentrating on driving, he blows at his cigarette and it colors orange, glowing. Fucking calm he is. Beautiful watch. All his things. I go through them, list them in my mind. He notices my staring. I wanna be in his shoes, that suit, his fucking Italian suit, I wanna have Theresa. I remember what she told me when he was out of sight.

She was pregnant.

She was fucking pregnant, from Freddie Mays!

I was perplex, startled, couldn't react. She had touched my cheek.

'What are you gonna do?' I asked.

She hesitated, she was uncertain, never experienced that before. 'Keep it. Raise it.'

I nod.

'I don't love him, you know' she said.

I looked into her raven-hued eyes.

She laughs at me. 'I like you, really.' She came closer. 'If it comes hard to hard, I'll be on your side. Pretty soon' she whispers and steps back.

Quite in the right moment because Freddie appears behind her. How did she know? Doesn't matter. She was pregnant, keeping the child from Freddie Mays. I want her, I want it.

I also wanna have a fucking child with her, such an awesome girl, so pretty and strong. She's better than Mays, he's not worth her. I get his tie-pin, put it on.

We meet Theresa in the restaurant again. We're three and we enter. She's dressed up, I've never seen her in a dress before. I think he told her to. She was so pretty, even without so much make-up, her skin was pale and perfect.

Her black was knee-long, tight and black, matching her eyes and her soul. She's more awesome than all styled-up girls in here together. Freddie puts his arm around her waist and she lets him do. Now I see it, too, her belly, she's pregnant. She's beautiful.

We decide for dinner, what to eat. He whispers something into Theresa's ear. She nods and stand up. 'We'll be back in five minutes' he says and they leave.

'Mind if I sit down?'

I look up. Pretty girl, too much make-up, too shimmering dress. I don't care, I play my role until Theresa and fucked-up Freddie return.

And he really likes her? Shoves Theresa and me away. We're ought to dance. What's this about Karen? Why can he have all the girls? I want Karen, but then I feel Theresa's hand on mine. She stares into my eyes.

'You don't want that bitch' she says, she orders, she persuades. She puts her hand on my shoulder. She presses her boobies on my chest. They feel so round, like balls, not big, B I guess. They're enough. I press her on me, she's tall but I am taller.

We dance, but I watch. I watch Freddie Mays flirting with that bitch after he had just fucked up another one. This son of a —. Theresa sees me staring at him.

'What about tonight?' she asks and I look down at her.

'What about now?' she asks.

I stare at her. I give a short nod and we leave the dancing place.

She leads me somewhere, perhaps the place where she had just been before. 'Staff only' I read on a sign but she nods to a guy in a black suit. He lets us pass and we walk through a corridor, past the kitchen.

I hear the song changing, is that Karen singing? We go on and leave the restaurant, it's a back door we went through. She closes it behind us and we're in a dark backyard, no light, no one, we're on our own. She smiles at me and I press her at the wall. I smile at her, my evil smile and I open my trousers. 'Come on' she whispers and I press my pelvis at hers.

The old in-and-out-game (referring to A Clockwork Orange, a movie with McDowell in the main role). We do it, five, ten minutes, she's fucking good and I feel so satisfied after it. Better than I ever expected, so fucking good. I push her against the wall and look at her again, fucking scaring eyes, can't see the pupils, everything is black.

She smiles and I touch her globes, so fucking soft but strong. How does she make it? She touches my cheeks with her hands. She presses her lips on mine, she's on tiptoe to reach me. We kiss, long, intensively. I enjoy every second, she's so fucking good.

Then she stops abruptly and turns around. She takes my hand and without another word she leads me back inside, to the table where Freddie Mays is sitting and watching Karen sing.

Just another bird.

We both sit down, looking at each other and thinking the same thing.

Just another skinny, fucking bird.

I read Theresa's mind. She hates her. She loves that I hate her, too.

'Good evening everyone' she starts. I make the ash fall in the ashtray. I don't want to listen all over it again, why do you think we escaped from here? Not to listen to your fucking voice, Karen.

'This is for Mr. Mays…Freddie' she says.

'Freddie?' I ask.

'Shut up' he answers.

Theresa smiles.

'You like her, don't you?'

'I said, shut it.'

And then she sings again, Theresa sighs. I smile and I laugh silently.

I don't listen to it anymore. I'm lost in my thoughts. I blow at my cigarette. It does not glow. And you Mr. Freddie Mays. You had the ghosts swimming in her eyes. Dancing in her head. You had a slip into her mouth […] deep down into her belly. […]

I stare at him, how can he be so fascinated by such a girl? He gives applause, I do, too, Theresa does, too.

Okay, this chapter was very long, the next one will be shorter. Please review.