Pony's POV:
This was the final straw. I've had enough of everyone in that damn school. I'm about ready to take a torch and burn it down. I slammed my locker shut before proceeding down the stairs. It's twelve-sixteen. Lunch time. No one's gonna notice me leaving but I still gotta be careful. Socs have a habit of lurking in front of every exit like damned policemen. Looking back in fourth through the cruddy abandoned hallway, I made my way to door five and peeked out the door window to make sure no one was there. All clear. Without Hesitation, I opened the door and held on tightly to my back pack before sprinting to the park. It was sunny out, and across the street, you could hear the elementary school kids in full play. Man, were those the days. The days when you only had to cry about broken crayons and if you scraped your knee trying to jump of the swing. Now you worry about bills, food, and money, and whether your gonna be jumped by socs. I would do anything to turn back the time and be pure. But then again, there is no such thing as a time-machine. That only existed in stories.
I'm now five blocks away from the school, I began to walk. Most Socs stayed in school. After all they were the goody two shoes, who were always going to get the best. Might as well have the best background for their future as well. But that didn't mean all of them still lurked around every corner. You still gotta be careful I on the other hand tried… I just couldn't anymore. That's right I'm dropping out. Why? Well… I honestly don't know. Aftermath, I just decided it wasn't worth my time. I really don't have a reason. I ain't stressed, I ain't overworked… I just don't wanna go. Finally at the park, I sat down at the fountain and just pondered. If I get caught by one of the gang, I need to have a lie ready. I can't tell them that I just suddenly had a change in heart about my education. Maybe I tell them that I almost got jumped in the bathroom by a greaser. No… They been heard that far too many times. I can't tell them that I'm sick because they'd just shove a spoon of medicine in my mouth and drop me back off there. No. I think I've ran out of lies. "PonyBoy, what are you doing here?" My headshot up like a fish out of water. When I turned Around, I was relieved to see that it was Johnny. It was Johnny… Blushing, I stood up and looked down.
"Johnny! I was uh… Just…" I would have been happier if it was Two-bit, or Dally, but Johnny? I just can't face him. Don't ask me why, because there is no reason. Well… actually there is. "Ponyboy, you should be in school! You can't be out here in the middle of the park in the open. Darry doesn't have work today! I saw him walking around with Soda! Come on. They won't find you in the junkyard." Johnny reached for my hand and I felt my heart skip a beat. I know, I know… It's wrong. It ain't right. I'm a Greaser but most importantly, I'm a boy. I shouldn't be feeling like this towards another boy. I've told myself over and over that it's probably just a faze. It'll pass. But it hasn't. It all started with that damn dream about him and me kissing… I remember waking up in the morning with my hands in my pants, and Soda and Darry laughing their asses off trying to find out the name of the girl I was dreaming about. Thank goodness, I ain't some somniloquist. I can only imagine the looks on their faces if I moaned out his name.
I was deadbeat. I already ran six blocks from the school, and here I am running four more to hide from my brothers. Only difference is, Johnny's with me. I was almost thankful that we was running, because if he so happened to look back, at least he would think they were red from running and not blushin. When we reached it to the junkyard, we crawled under the fence and sat for awhile, catching our breath. "Ponyboy are you ok?" I looked at Johnny who was looking at me with a questioning gaze. Uh oh. If there was one thing I hated more than when Darry questioned me, it was when Johnny did. He just made me blush to much and when he tried to hold eye contact with me, I would instantly squirm. "Yeah just thinking. I announced. It was silent for a while and I wasn't sure if he was going to talk or not. He must have heard my thoughts because he soon, started to speak. "Ponyboy, look at me." I did. He looked hurt for some reason. His eyes looked sad and he was frowning.
"We've been best buddies for a while now. Suddenly you're so distant. I use to tell you secrets as you did the same with me. Now it seems as if you can't stand looking at me. I know i'm not handsome like you or soda or anything, and my scars are pretty disgusting but please, tell me what I did wrong. When the gang and us get together, you don't even acknowledge me." I felt a pang of guilt engulf me. I hadn't realised that I hurt him that much. "Johnny it ain't you, it's just… I wanna tell you but-" "Then tell me!" I looked back at him, not even realising I looked away. He looked angry and slightly annoyed. I want to tell him. I really do. I guess I might as well… "If I tell you, I don't want you to think of me as weird… I want you to accept me." My voice was shaky. I felt the weight on my chest become heavier. It was time. I wish I could tell him in a place that isn't smelly and full of trash though. Taking tiny breaths I turn to Johnny who still had an annoyed exspression. He was waiting.
"Johnny… Have you ever been in a problem where you liked someone to the point it bothers you?" Johnny raised an eyebrow. "I mean… No not really… I've never been in love." Wow… was this going to be hard. "Well… I am in that problem." I said. He nodded signalling for me to continue. At this point, my hands were starting to shake besides the point that is was hot as hell today. "But the thing about my problem is that it gets worse… Because the person I like…" Here it goes… "Is a guy." Johnny's eyes widened before he pouted. "Wow Pony… Gollie, i'm sorry… just know that… That your still my friend and I won't tell. I also recommend that you don't tell any of the gang. Darry and Dally… they don't like that. Sodapop is more kinder, but he instantly gets weirded out by that stuff. Steve… well… he is just going to preach about how wrong and dirty you are for looking at a man the way he looks at girls. Just don't tell and don't let the news get out to the Socs. They'll beat you to a pulp." I swallowed hard and felt tears start to fill in my eyes.
"Dammit Johnny you don't get it!" I spat at him. He looked taken aback and that's when I started to really cry. I don't know why. I don't wanna cry in front of Johnny yet I do. "The boy I like is you, Johnny. I like you." Johnny's eyebrows rose and disappeared behind his bangs. He went pale and started to point at himself. "M-me?" I nodded, furiously wiping my eyes. He look down and shook his head. "I understand if you don't like me Johnny, I really do. Of course you like girls. It's natural." "It ain't that… It's just… wow… All this time I thought it was me and I was right about it being me but for the wrong reason…" I stood up and grabbed my bag and started crawling from under the fence back on to the sidewalk. "Hey! Wait up!" I heard Johnny call. I started walking in the direction of his place because there was no way I was going to mine. I could here Johnny behind me, trying to catch up.
"Are your parents home?" I asked angrily. "No… Dads in California with work buddies, getting high of his ass and mom's in new jersey. They won't be back till sunday." "Good." Was all I replied with before making my way up the porch and standing there, waiting for Johnny to open the door. "He did after looking at me for a minute or so. When it was open, he stood back allowing for me to come inside. I walked in and he shut the door and locked it behind him. The curtains were drawn as usual, giving it the effect that no one was home, and the house was filled with the smell of alcohol and cigarettes. Otherwise, the house was pretty clean. I flopped on the couch and Johnny followed pursuit afterwards. We sat in silence for a good five minutes. Usually I would feel uncomfortable about silence for three seconds but this was pretty comfortable. Johnny scooted closer to me and sighed, gaining my attention. "How long did you like me?" again with the questions… "Since last summer."
Quiet. I was starting to wish he would just kick me out and tell me he wasn't interested in me or boys in general. "...Pony." I again was brought out of my thoughts. I turned to face him to see that he was blushing an awful lot. "Pony… It's not that I don't except you being into me and all that, but… I'm not sure If I'm even gay. I don't mean it in that way but… don't you remember that news article about those two guys who were caught kissing? They were found burnt alive. And those two girls? They were raped and killed… I'm not saying that i'm not willing to give it a go, but you also after remember, it ain't safe." I felt tears burn my eyes and I let them fall freely in my lap. I felt Johnny wrap his arm around me but I pushed it away. I shouldn't be mad because he's right but… I am. If anything I should be able to nod and tell him I understand, and move on. But I can't. "Pony please… I don't want you dying because of me. If anything, I wanna see you live. Not to mention, i'm older than you. If Darry found out that we had something more than friendship between us, he'd instantly rule it out as something sexual. And what about the blonde that you so happen to have a relationship with?"
"But I don't care! I can't do this anymore Johnny! I have to be truthful to myself. I've been telling myself ever since I started feeling a certain way about, you that it was just a faze and that it would go away! I started dating the girl because I thought I could distract myself from you but I can't! I need to stop lying to myself before I kill myself!" I started bawling now and Johnny wrapped his arms around me again. I covered my eyes with my hands so I didn't have to see him. I didn't want to see him. It was quiet for some time. Outside, you could hear students coming home from school "Pony…" When I finally decided to remove my hands, Johnny was on the floor, kneeling in front of me. He was crying too. I felt my face begin to turn red as I felt his hands make there way to the sides of my face.
"Pony… Maybe… maybe I need to stop lying to myself too…" Johnny closed his eyes and leaned up. His lips collided with mine. I closed my eyes and opened my mouth, allowing better access inside. I felt his tongue explore my mouth and let out a moan which he responded with pulling me down off the couch and onto the floor. Still kissing, he had me on my back while he was on top. I wrapped my arms around him and broke the kiss. "Johnny… are we going to tell the gang?" He smiled but shook his head. "No. Let's keep this our little secret." I smiled and he kissed me back again. The weight on my chest was no longer present and I felt myself begin to feel happier. Mom and dad may be gone. They may not even approve. But at the moment, I don't care. All I need is this moment, and this moment alone to make me happy for the rest of my days.
A/N: Wow! This is my first time writing a fanfiction for a book other than Harry Potter! Should I continue this and make a sequel to this little fluff or should I leave it be and continue with other stories? Anyways, Comment please! Hope you enjoyed!